Mike Tomlin, aka “The Substitute Teacher”
Commentary by PalmerSucks
October 2, 2014
Congratulations to the Stillers for losing to the Tampa Bay Bottom Feeders, worst team in football coming into Sunday’s game. The ‘feeders join a long list of crummy teams the Stillers were supposed to beat handily, but didn’t.
I had a feeling Sunday was going to turn out weird watching the FOX pre-game, where Coach Tomlin delivered a bizarre rant about being called a “player’s coach.” It seems Mike doesn’t care much for that title, as supposedly it’s got some sort of racial insult built into it.
Here’s a news flash, coach: the guy you replaced was known back in his day as probably the “player’s coach” – and nobody meant that as an insult. It simply meant that players didn’t feel the traditional divide between coach and player, and, if I recall, that they’d “go through Hell for him.” Does that sound bad?
Mike did himself no favors referring to Dick LeBeau as some “old white guy”; hey, when you’re complaining about being picked on for your skin color, nothing’s better than referring to someone else’s and their age.
Now, wherever would someone get the idea that Mike Tomlin is a “player’s coach”? Oh, I don’t know, maybe somwhere like this:
Would Vince Lombardi have done that had he been coaching today? And Coach, you might want to re-read your caption: “There goes the neighborhood?” You aware of the racial implications in that phrase?
After the FOX rant, none other than Terry Bradshaw got all over Tomlin for his views, Bradshaw pointing out how he would’ve loved to have played for Bum Phillips (the player’s coach of his day). You know things are out of whack when Bradshaw is the voice of reason.
I understand that racism does often show its ugly head, in the world of sports just like anywhere else. I understand how it applies to the hiring of head coaches, which is why we have the Rooney rule.
I just don’t understand how it applies to the words “player’s coach.”
Now, just so you know, nobody was happier when the Stillers hired Tomlin than I. As time went on, however, it became clear that he wasn’t quite the football genius we thought he was. His in-game management isn’t the best, and his red-flag coach’s challenges have become legendary for their wrongness. But that was still OK, because he seemed to have a knack for managing his players. But after Sunday’s debacle, I’m starting to wonder even about that.
Thirteen penalties for 125 yards is bad enough, but one play really took the prize. After committing not one, not two, but three separate infractions in one unsportsmanlike conduct penalty, Antonio Brown came prancing back to the sideline, where he was met by Coach. After receiving a few stern words, Brown appeared to be sorry – for about three seconds. The next thing you know he was sprinting toward Mike Mitchell wearing a shit-eating grin, and doing a little celebratory dance.
You know what that reminded me of? Junior high, when the regular teacher was out, and they brought some temp in. The substitute teacher could yell at you, but you didn’t care. Just like in the movies, you acted up with the other kids, laughed and threw stuff around the classroom, because you just didn’t respect his authority.
That’s what Tomlin reminds me of right now: the substitute teacher.
Remember the last time Brown acted up, doing his little backwards strut into end zone? Remember how coach swore it would never happen again? Remember how it did, last Sunday? Of course you do.
The problem, Mike, isn’t that you’re a player’s coach. The problem is you need to be more of one. And get this out-of-control unit back under control. Remember how harshly Blount and Bell were punished after getting busted for pot on their way to the team bus? No, you don’t, because nothing happened to them. I guess that kind of policy needs a little re-evaluation.
Now if you think I’m singling out Tomlin, guess again. The Stillers have a problem with their entire coaching staff. LeBeau too often plays softee D and once again, his guys blew a late-game lead. Dick’s been overseeing a “number one” defense that has been gagging like this for years. Once again, he failed to flood the end zone with defenders when there was little time left to do anything but throw into it.
As for Haley, he too choked when the Stillers needed just one first down to end the game. It’s third and five, and you’ve got a $100 million dollar QB behind center. So what do you do? Why, you put the game in someone else’s hands. That’s just brilliant.
The Stillers have to realize their defense can’t stop late drives even if they’re run by pencil necks like Glennon. They have to make a real effort to keep the ball and run out the clock, not just call a run and get the punter ready.
During his brief stint here, Haley’s done the impossible: made people pine for the good old days of Bruce Arians. (By the way, he too escaped any punishment when he missed the team flight to Baltimore a couple weeks ago.)
But LeBeau and Haley don’t run the team; Tomlin (supposedly) does. It’s time he showed that. Next time someone misses the team plane, or gets nailed with drugs, they need to pay a price. Next time somebody acts the fool on the field, they need to sit on the bench. That won’t make up for all the lame blocking and weak tackling, but it might just cut down on all those penalties coach blamed for Sunday’s loss.
What the Stillers need is a coach, be it head, player’s or anything you want to call him. What they don’t need is a substitute teacher.