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Stillers-Dolphs Postgame Analysis and Grades

December 09, 2013 by Still Mill

Dolphins 34,  Stillers 28  ……. Dec. 8, 2013 …………Game # 13
Stillers-Dolphs Postgame Analysis and Grades

The Stillers had the most ideal of conditions -- a must-win game, at home, against a hot weather team amid a chilly, cold, snowy rain.  The Stillers seemed in command in the 1H, but as often has been their nature, they got whipped in the 2hd half, and pissed away a 4Q lead en route to a 34-28 loss.  



QB:  2nd play of game, Ben held the ball forever, and took a 12-yard sack.   In the 2Q, he again held the ball far too long, and was strip-sacked, which gave MIA the ball  at the PIT 31.  Slightly overthrew an open Brown on a deep lob on 3d & 3, mid 2Q.  Ben was 23 of 39 for 349, 3 TDs,  and 0 INTs, which was decent, given the conditions.   B



Jones - solid run for 5 yards on a delay HO, 2Q.  Had 2 rushed for 7.     Inc.


Bell -  good back to back to back runs, 2nd series.  Then had a good effort on a 3d & 6 swing pass later in that series, gaining 9 and moving the sticks.  Then spun and weaved and gained 6 yards, when it appeared he was stopped dead cold in the backfield.   Barely played at all in the 2Q, but ripped off a couple nice runs late in the 3Q.  Finished with only 16 carries for 63 yards --a solid 3.9 YPC behind a ragtag OL -- which wasn’t enough carries given the weather.   He also had 5 grabs for 28.   A-


Dwyer - strong power run on 3d & 1, 2d series, which gained about 3.   Had 3 rushed for 8.    B+


FB: Will Johnson  had a good kickout block on Bell’s 9 yard run, 2d series.   Made a terrific grab of a low pass near the sideline, 3Q, good for 9 yards.   Solid game.    B+



Brownie - dropped a slant pass on 3rd down, early 2Q.  Outstanding RAC to take a short pass to the house for a 43-yard TD play, 9:08 3Q.   Good sideline grab on 3d & 10, late 3Q, to move the chains.     He could have won the game (with a PAT) on the final play, when he was the last Stiller with the ball after several laterals.    However, Brown played the role of The Anti-Tomlin, and aimlessly and needlessly stepped 2 inches OOB at about the 13 en route to the EZ, and the game was over.    This play pretty much typifies this team’s sack o’ shit season.    Ignore Brown’s gaudy stats, which were padded by the 55 yards on the game-ending lateral play.    B- 


Sandy -  grabbed a short TD pass, 2nd series.  Everyone in the stadium was stunned that he didn’t simply drop it.   Of course, after this cake-easy TD catch, he dances and jigs.    One would think Punk Sanders woulda learned a lesson in humility after last week's embarrassing debacle.     Instead, he prances and preens like he just scaled Mount Everest.  Made a tough grab on 3d down to move the chains, 11:00 4Q.   Dropped an 18-yard pass, late 4Q.   He presumably has only 3 games left in a Stiller uni.       C-


Cotch - clutch grab on 3d & 4, 4:00 3Q.Grabbed a slant for a 16-yard TD on the first play of the 4Q to give the Stillers a lead.   Had 5 grabs for 63 in yet another quality effort.    A-


Wheat -  was thrown a deep ball and flailed away and then cried for a flag.   Weak.      Inc.  



Miller -  dropped a perfect pass, first play of 2Q.   Very poor.   Hauled in a deepish lob for 31 yards in the 3Q.  Had a good downfield block on Brown’s TD in the 3Q.  Had 3 grabs for 56.    B 


Speath - dove and WHIFFED on the Bell swing pass for a 1st down, 2nd series.   He caught no passes, and fortunately was never targeted.    Hopefully there are only 3 more games that I have to endure watching this sorry pile o’ dung tie up a scarce roster spot on this team.    



Adams - Puffer Adams  started at LT in place of the injured Beacham.   Played surprisingly adequate.    Didn’t get totally humiliated and abused as he did in London.     B- 


Gilbert -  FatAss Marcus got totally abused on an outside speed rush in the 2Q, allowing a strip sack that gave MIA the ball at the PIT 31.   Got totally tooled to the inside by Wake late in the game to force a hasty, off target pass.   Flagged for a hold on a running play, which always enrages me.    C-


Foster - Flagged for being downfield too far on a screen to Cotch, 4Q.     Played ok.      B-


Cody Wallace -  got his first ever NFL start.    He didn’t take long to embarrass himself, getting totally abused on the 2nd offensive play of the game, which caused a 12-yard sack.   He actually acquitted himself okay the rest of the game.   Flagged for a “double clutch on the snap” in the 4Q.   


DeCastro -  flagged for a hold on a screen play, 3Q.     Played decently, and appears to be a cornerstone that this line can be built upon.     B 


Beacham - did not dress, due to injury.



Keisel -  did not dress, due to the foot injury.  


McLendon -  got nicked up early on, but came back in.  


Hood  - started in place of Keisel.  Limped off, 2d series, and was replaced by Woods.   Blasted Miller on a wide run, early 3Q, and knocked him from the game.     B-


Heyward - looked like a legit NFL DE on the 1st series, where he bullrushed the OG all the way back to the QB, and then threw the QB onto he turf for a 3rd down sack.   On a 3d down in the 2Q, he batted a pass to force a punt.   Actaully, all game long, Heyward reminded me of an angry Dwight White, continually whipping ballcarrier to the turf and playing like a mad, raging bull.    He finished with 6 solos and 3 assists in a very strong, impressive effort.  Let’s hope this kind of play carries over to the 2014 season.     A+ 




Timmons - flashed in and stuffed Thomas on a 3rd down run late in the 4Q to force a FG.  Drew two holding flags with his pass rush.   Had a fairly quiet day, with a quiet 4 solos and 1 A.    B- 


V. Williams - did almost nothing, finishing with 0 solos and 3 assists.   Piss poor.    D+


Worilds - good stop of Miller on a ground play, 2nd series, at the PIT 13.  Applied heavy pressure to force a TA, late 2Q.   Unblocked, he wildly missed a sack deep in PIT territory on 2d & 4, 3Q.    Nabbed Miller for a 2-yard loss, mid 3Q.  On a key 3d & 3 he attacked the pocket and nailed the QB for a key sack.   Led the team with 8 solos in another stellar effort.     A


Jones -  totally bit on the read-option plunge fake, which allowed Tannehill to run wide for a 48-yard gainer.   Played sparingly, as Big LaMarr got the start at ROLB.   B- 


Big LaMarr -  started at ROLB.  Did nothing at all the first 50 minutes of the game.    Totally untouched & unblocked, he finally applied pressure and nearly forced a grounding flag at 9:29 4Q.  Got totally SEALED OFF on the 55-yard run by Thomas late in the game.  Finished with (hold your laughter, please) 1 solo and 2 weak-assed assists.     D- 



Ike -  got head-hunted by Clark and left the game for 2 plays in the 3Q.  Foolishly slowed up with the ball after Troy’s lateral on the final play of the 1H.    B- 


Pola -  dropped a pick 6 on the 1st series of the game, which woulda been a walk-in TD.  He atoned for it in the 3Q, snaring an INT and then vaulting in the EZ for a pick-6.  Badly whiffed on Clay on a lil’ dumpoff on 3d & 11, early 4Q, which allowed Clay to turn a 1-yard gain into a 12-yard gain and a key 1st down.    Along with Cortez, he feebly whiffed on Clay on the game-winning TD.      B+ 


Clark - the dumbass that he is, he completely missed Hartline on a RAC tackle, and instead leveled Ike Taylor in the head with a wicked shot.  Finished with a weak-assed 2 solos and 3 As.     Let us pray that he has only 3 games remaining in a Stiller uni.    You cimply cannot start a free safety this slow and this ineffective in today’s NFL.    C- 


Gay -  saved a TD late in the game on the 55-yard TD run by Thomas.   Had a surprising 7 solos.     B- 


Thomas - saw no PT on defense that I could tell.    He played too well early in the season to merit PT.    Go figure.    Inc.


C. Allen -   good cover and a good bat-away on a deep ball to Wally, 2d series.   Played far too softly on Wally after the fumble gave MIA the ball at the PIT 31, allowing a grab of 12 yards and then a 7-yarder on 2d & 7.  Very poor.   Got tooled on a deep ball to Clay -- an H-back/RB kind of player -- for a 40-yard completion, mid 3Q.   Had a good bustup of a deep ball to Wally early in the 4Q.  of course, Wally, as usual, failed to go UP and high-point the ball.  Lamely tried to tackle Clay after the short dumpoff and twice failed to corral Clay, which allowed Clay to score and put the Fish ahead late in the game.    Very soft, and very weak.    C+


Spec teams:  

McBriar  - took about an hour and a half -- taking 4 strides, no less -- to get off a punt late in the 2Q, which was then blocked.  It didn’t help that NO ONE touched Wilson, who blocked the punt.   Given the chance to pin the Fish deep in their own territory with the Stillers leading by 4 with less than 5:00 left in the game, Briar rocketed a punt that went into the EZ for a TB and a net of 20.    D- 


Suisham -  made all 4 of his PATS.    Tried no FGs.       B


Decent KO return of 26 yards by Sanders late in the 1Q.   Pola and the crew nearly pulled off a Stanford lateral play, late 2Q, on a missed Miami FG as the half expired.   


In a repeat of the late KO return in the Super Bowl versus Green Bay, Sylvester was flagged for a hold on a KO return with about 3 minutes left in the game. 



It’s hard to pin much blame on Haley for this loss.   His offense produced 4 TDs and never once settled for a FG, all amid cold and often snowy weather conditions with a patchwork O-line.    B



Dick lucked out once again, or so it seemed, when he had the luxury of facing a HOT weather team with a 2nd year QB, Ryan Tannehill, who had never, ever played a football game in snow, until today.   This became rather obvious early on, as many of his passes were scattershot and well off target, plus he dropped a near-perfect SG snap in the 2Q for a 7-yard loss.  

Typical of Dick’s defense this season -- 3 defenders jump on Wally, no one covers Clay on the 2Q TD.

3d & 1, early 3Q, Dick rushes only 4 men, and Tannehill had ALL DAY to stand and look and look, and survey the entire field, before hitting Clay for a 20-yard gainer.  Instead of getting a STOP and forcing a punt, Dick allows the drive to continue, which would ultimately be a 9-play, 80 yard TD march that culminated when a RB literally WALKED into the EZ on a plunge from the 4-yard line. 

Later in the 3Q, the Stillers went up 21-17 on the Pola pick-6, but sure as shit, Dick allows a 71-yard TD drive to piss away the lead and give it back to the Fish.  

The Stillers obtained a lead again, late in the 4Q, but as is his nature, Dick allows a cake-easy 4-play, 71-yard TD drive for the game-winning points.     

Once again, Dick got schooled and tooled by a read-option QB.    An acute problem, of course, is Dick’s flawed scheme that insists on having OLBs crash DOWN on the RB dive play, which leaves the outside as free and wide open as a Montana prairie.   This is the exact WRONG way to defend the read option, but after all, Dick is just so diabolical and clever.   Who’s to argue with a glorified deity?   

Of course, there’s also Dick’s clever coverage schemes in the red zone, with CBs played a full 12 (twelve) yards off the LOS from the 15-yard line.   Dick, ever paranoid about getting beat deep, calls for this entirely assaholic scheme.   You can’t get beaten “deep” from that close to the goal line.  Don’t tell Dick, of ya might arouse him from an afternoon nap, and get him angry. 

Miami was the only team in the NFL who had not scored at least 28 points in the game.   Of course, they hadn’t yet had the chance to face Derelict Dick and his Softee Defense.   This sorry performance caps the horrific 2013 season and hopefully spells the end of Derelict Dick and his reign of ineptitude.    F-



Going for it on 4th & 10 from his own 10 yard line, with 2:23 left in a 4 point game, was utterly stupid.   More stupid was the fact that Momlin burned a timeout before this 4th down play.  For what ??    There actually was plenty of time, especially with the 2MW, to make a stop and get the ball back.  Had the LOS been at the 40, or midfield, it may have been prudent to go for it, but on his own 10, it was dumbassed insanity.   Furthermore, one of the best ways to create a turnover, especially in foul weather, is to punt the ball.  The punt returner could easily muff the punt, or a short punt might inadvertently be touched by a Miami blocker.   This was every bit as stupid as Dumblin going for the 2-pointer, with plenty of time left in the game, from the 12-yard line versus Jax in the playoff loss in Jan 2008.    Stupid is as stupid does.    D-   


Synopsis:  In my best Jim Mora voice -- “Playoffs ??1   Playoffs ?!”    Hah !!  These sorry bastards wouldn’t be worth of going to the MAC playoffs, much less the NFL playoffs.   Their special teams suck ass, the defense is soft n’ cheesy, and the offense too sporadic.    The best thing about this loss is that it pounds the nail into the coffin of foolish belief about being a playoff contender, and it should force the idiot leadership to realize this team needs a massive overhaul, not just the signing of a 3rd string TE or a new punter.     Massive change must be made, starting with hiring a new DC and removing tons of dead wood from an old, slow roster.  


(Still Mill and -- when it comes to the analysis of the Pittsburgh Stillers, no one else comes close….)

Follow Mill on Twitter, at StillMill1



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