Brownies 20, Stillers 14 ……. Nov 25, 2012 …………Game # 11
Stillers-Browns Postgame Analysis and Grades
The Stillers jumped out to a quick 7-0 lead off a fluke tip and INT, but then basically loafed and jogged the final 59 minutes, en route to an embarrassing 20-14 loss to the hapless Brownies. I’ll put every bit as little effort into this report as the Stillers did during this slopfest.
Batch: Was timid and scattershot all game long. Horrific misfire on seamer to Miller on his 1st real pass, 3:00 1Q. Simple out pass to a wide open Miller, 7 feet over his head, 2Q. 8 of 15, 82 yards in the 1H. Waited too long and underthrew Wally on a deep post midway thru the 3Q. On the very next play, on a 3d & 6, Batch was picked off on deep out at the PIT 31. This wasn’t entirely his fault, as Plex ran a typical (for him) sloppy-assed pattern, but Batch didn’t get enough mustard on this long out pass. The other INT was completely Clanger Wallys fault. Nifty scramble and pass to Sanders for 15 yards, early 4Q. Overall, Batch was far too hesitant and tentative in the pocket for a veteran with his experience in the NFL and with this ballclub. Under throwing Wally 3 or 4 times was just assaholic stupidity at its worst. D+
Socrates Mendenhall: For reasons entirely unknown to anyone with half a brain, Mendy was rewarded with a start. He promptly showed his gratitude by fumbling on his 2nd carry, which gave Clev the ball on the PIT 44 early in the 1Q. Very careless and sloppy. He carried early in the 4Q, and was stripped once again, but luckily the Stillers recovered. Good thing he was taken off PUP (sic).
Redman - On 3d 7 19 early in the 2Q, he fumbled the ball at the end of a meaningless 4-yard run, and gave Clev the ball at the PIT 10. This was his last carry of the game.
Dwyer - good 2nd effort, 1st carry, got 4. Then gained 7 on a screen, with a good power plow at the end of the run. Way too much dancing, late 1Q and early 2Q. Fumbled the ball away against a hapless DB on a wide-open run off RT late in the 2Q. Simply a matter of careless, ONE-handed ball security.
Rainey - gained 6 on his first carry, late 2Q. Fumbled the ball OOB late in the 2Q after a short grab. Ran a gut plunge on 1st & goal late in the 2Q, and after initially being stoned, he bounced off the pile and ran wide, untouched, for a TD that gave the Stillers a 1-point lead just before halftime. Poor RAC after a short dumpoff, lost 1, early 3Q. Good squirt-away from heavy backfield pressure, 4Q, gained 7 out of nothing. Got drilled late in the game and coughed up the ball, completing a perfect straight flush in which all 4 (four) RBs turned the ball over on fumbles.
For a franchise with such a proud past-30-year history of RBs and with 90,000 rushing yards in the modern era, today has to be an all-time low. F-
Johnson - played some and did little. Had 1 grab for 13. C+
Wally - Mister Holdout simply stopped running on a deep lob on 3d & 8, 9:10 2Q. Lazy pile o’ shit. With the Stillers driving at the Clev 30 early in the 4Q, The Clanger was thrown a simple, short slant, which CLANGED off his iron-skillet hands and then was INTd. A shit play by a dogshit player. On a deep lob late in the game, Wally made ZERO attempt whatsoever to break up the underthrown lob, which was INT’d. Even on the deep ball in the 1H that hit the DB in the helmet, The Clanger made no attempt to ADJUST to the ball or to actually make a stab at, you know, catching the pigskin. Quick -- let’s lavish this pile o’ shit with a $74M long-term contract !!
Brown - did not dress.
Sanders - good RAC, 3d & 8, got 9, mid 2Q. Caught a ball while sliding on the turf late in the 2Q, but despite being 12 inches from the sideline and no defender within 9 yards, Sanders just laid there like a $10 whore, and refused to at least roll OOB to stop the clock. Thus, the Stiller had to waste a TO at 1:09 2Q. Had a good RAC a few plays later on a short slant. Flagged late in the 1Q for a dumb-assed false start on 3d & 10.
Cotch - did not dress.
Burress -- returned to form by dropping a pass late in the 2Q. Also showed his old form by running an entirely lazy out pattern that was jumped for an INT, mid 3Q. Complete, listless pile of shit.
Gilreath - played some and had no grabs
Next to the RBs, this crew was a complete pile o’ vomit as well. D
Miller - caught his first catch, with 22 seconds left in the 1st half. Trucked a hapless DB after a short screen, early 2Q. The DB, Young, did not get up after the play for a few minutes. Clutch grab and run for 33 yards on 2nd & forever that gained the 1st down, but it was wiped out by the Beacham holding flag. Two successive grabs and runs in the late drive.
Paulson - did little. B
Starks: played adequately.
Gilbert - did not play.
Adams - was injured on the play that Leggo allowed the sack, late 3Q, with an ankle. Did not return.
Colon - knee swelled in pre-game and did not play.
Leggo - started at LG in place of Willie Hole-Lone. Got abused by Taylor on a swim move for a 6-yard loss on the sack, 3Q. Flagged for a fairly blatant hold at 3:16 4Q. Struggled in run blocking as well.
Foster - Shit block on the 3d & 4 run by Redman in the 1Q. Flagged for a hold in the 2Q, negating a 4-yard run by Dwyer. Struggled far too much in run blocking, which should be his strength. Played like a complete bag o’ barf.
Pouncey - played just marginally okay. The offense had difficulty running up the gut and he failed to dominate the POA.
Beacham - replaced Adams at RT in the 3Q. On his first play in the game, was flagged for a ticky-tack hold that wiped out a 33-yard catch and run by Miller. C.
Keisel - got a rare tipped pass, 1st series, which Timmons turned into a rare INT and even rarer pick-6. Came in untouched and got a Dong Sack, 4Q. Helped out some on ground plays.
Hood - Like Socrates Spindenhall, Hood got a start for no apparent reason at all. He responded with a lifeless, listless, pile o’ dung effort in which he recorded ZERO solos and 1 assist.
Hampton - Did little all game long, with 1 solo and 1 assist. To be sure, his job is more than stat collecting, but the Browns were able to gash the defense up the gut with too much regularity. Flagged for a blatant illegal hands to the face in the 4Q.
Heyward - saw some PT and had 1 solo.
McLendon - slashed in and dropped Richardson for a 3-yard loss in the 2Q. He’ll quickly be benched for the next 3 games.
Wood - helped out on a run stuff early in the 2Q. C-
Foote - Slow as molasses on 1st play of game on crosser. Feeble as fuck on a 13 yard run, 10:30 1Q. Shit coverage on the 18-yard flare to Richardson in the 1Q. Shit coverage on the TD pass to Cameron. Whiffed in the backfield on Richardson, early 3Q. Finished with 3 solos, whci is far too little for an ILB who is on the field for every snap.
Timmons - failed to close in on rookie Josh Gordon on a crosser, 1st play of game, 26 yards. A mismatch with an ILB on a WR, but still, loping coverage. Was beaten a few plays later, but snagged a tipped pass and took for an extremely rare pick-6. Made a stuff, 2d series. Took himself out of the play with over-pursuit on the Richardson TD run, 3Q. Nailed Richardson after a dump for -1, late 3Q. Nabbed Richardson twice on successive plays on 3rd & mega-long (due to a penalty, the 3rd down was re-played.)
Woodley - totally caved in by the THIRD string TE, Alex Smith, on 3rd series, with Richardson up RT for 6. He injured his ankle at some point (perhaps that play); then played a couple plays before bowing out for good. Complete pansie with heavy wallet disease that hampers his hamstring and ankle.
Worilds - came in and spelled Woodley on the 3rd series of the game, right after Woodley got manhandled on the 6-yard gash up RT. Applied a lick to a bobbling Smith in the 1Q. Actually fought off a block -- something Big LaMarr rarely does -- and got an ankle-nip stop of Richardson on a toss sweep in the 2Q. Beat 81 and got a sack, late 2Q. Applied pressure on the late 3d & 4, forcing a punt at 5:20 4Q. Pound for pound, this may have been Worild’s best game in a Stiller uni. Played better than Big LaMarr at a cost of, oh, about $6M per year LESS than The Dogger.
Harrison - blasted up the gut for an earned sack, 2nd series. Chased down Richardson all the way on the other side of the field after a short flare, early 3Q. He then blew up a running play a few plays later, for a 3-yard loss. Blew up Richardson late in the game for a 3-yard loss. Had 4 tackles for losses, but was also blocked on the 15-yard TD run. Led the defense with 8 solos and is finally rounding into about 98% game shape.
Harrison: A- Timmons & Worlds: B+ Foote: C-
Pola - once again, did not dress.
Ike - had a chance for an INT late in the 2Q, but the ball clanged off his hands. Had another chance for an INT at 8:11 3Q, but again, the ball clanged off his hands.
Lewis - read and then strung out an end around for just a 1-yard gain, late 1Q. Gave Massaquoi about 9 yards of cushion on a simple out-curl in the 3Q, allowing a cake-easy 17-yard completion. On the next play, Richardson dashed 15 yards for the winning (losing) TD. I just cannot fathom the softie coverage, on such a shitbag WR no less.
Mundy - played a few snaps when Clark got nicked up in the 1Q.
Cortez Allen - helped stop a gut run, late 2Q.
Clark - Good run support, 1Q. Tackled Watson 2 yards short of the sticks, late 1Q, on a 3d & 5. Poor read and no help on the 15-yard TD run, 3Q, in which he came flying up toward the hole and then slid on the turf like a baserunner trying to steal 2nd base, doing nothing whatsoever to, you know, impeded the runner.
Will Allen -- had easy Dong INT, 1st series, and fought off ball like a porcupine. Shit jam on the Cameron TD pass, 1Q. Overall, weak-assed tackling after the catch, and shoddy coverage.
Given the rookie QB and how mediocre this Clev WR corps is, this was an uninspiring effort by the DBs. C-
Mundy and Worilds put down Cribbs on a punt return, late 1Q. Punt cov team allowed a 16-yard return -- with the returner pinned 8 inches from the sideline the entire time -- at 9:00 2Q.
Cortez Allen and Curt Brown nailed Cribbs for no gain on a punt return, early 3Q.
Sanders muffed a punt midway in the 3Q, but the ball bounced OOB. Sylvester was flagged for a hold on a 1Q KO return.
Like a faggot, Pope fair caught a high KO at his own 18, despite no defender being within 10 yardsof him. He very easily could have plunged again for 5 yards.
Dogshit, low punt by Butler with zero hang-time, which enabled Cribbs to gain14 on a punt return, mid 4Q. C+
Haley arrived at this game with a gameplan that he apparently developed while taking a crap on Thursday afternoon. There was no reason or sense in this gameplan the entire afternoon. A completely dull, unimaginative gameplan that failed to cater to Batch’s skills and failed to do anything to keep Clev off balance.
3d & 4, 5:30 1Q, and Haley runs a gut plunge ? You’ve got Heath Miller, Sanders, and even Paulson. WTF is the gut plunge, with this mediocre O-line ?? Why not simply punt on 3rd down if you’re going to go chickeshit like this?
Everything was rinky dink early on. Every pass the first 24 minutes was less than 13 yards down the field! Plus, Haley mostly refused to pass the ball on 1st down those first 20-some minutes.
Started the 2nd half with -- literally -- 4 passes that each went no longer than ½-yard downfield.
No boots or rollouts were called the entire game.
The late drive, which began at the PIT 15 at 5:13 4Q, took waaaay too long, with gobs of time wasted between plays. With Haley content to fiddle-faddle & deliberate at least 23 seconds just to get in the playcall, it took the offense over 2 minutes just to run 5 plays and move 22 yards, before Batch then threw the hideous lob to Wally that was INTd. 2+ fuking minutes to move 22 yards?? Fuk Todd Haley. D-
Once again, Dick had the luxury of facing a rookie QB, this time in Brandon Weeden, as well as a rookie starting OT, a rookie starting WR, and a rookie starting RB. He also had the luxury of Cribbs getting injured and then being taken to the locker room midway thru the 3Q, although Cribbs later returned.
Dick failed to keep Clev out of FG range after the Mendy fumble gave Clev the ball at the PIT 44, allowing Clev to march -- exclusively on the ground -- to the PIT 12 for a chippie 29-yard FG.
Richardson was WIDE OPEN on a simple flare pass, late 1Q, good for 18. Duh-uh !! Gee, my name is Dick LeBlow, and I had no idea they might dump the ball off to their gifted RB....!
3d & goal at the PIT 5, Dick rushes only 4, and then keeps Foote in the game and in a total mismatch on Cameron for a cake-easy TD pass. No pass pressure on the QB and no athleticism in coverage. Brilliant !! What in fuk’s name was Dick so terrified over that he couldn’t rush 5, or even 6, defenders to harass the greenhorn Weeden into a hurried, errant incompletion or, gasp, even an INT ??!
At that point, there were 2 PIT turnovers, and 2 “losses” on the ensuing possession by the vaunted “#1 ranked” defense. Then, Clev took over at its own 42 after a 2Q punt, and calmly marched 10 plays (44 yards) to the PIT 15 for an easy, chippie 32-yard FG to boost their lead to 13-7. In a fit of rarity, Dick managed to hold the Browns off the board after Dwyer’s fumble gave Clev the ball at the PIT 34 late in the 2Q. Weeden was 9 of 16, 100 yards, and 1 TD in the 1H.
After the Batch INT gave Clev the ball at the PIT 31 in the 3Q, Dick once again failed, allowed Clev to easily score a TD in just THREE plays, to give Cleve a 20-14 lead that was the game-winning score.
While the fools and dim bubls will praise this defense based on paper statistics, the reality is that the defense was very mediocre. Their job is to HOLD OFF the other team from scoring. Time and time again, they allowed Clev to move into CHIPPIE field goal range or get a TOUCHDOWN. They managed all of ONE turnover, that on a fluke tip and INT in the 1st minute of the game. The next 59 minutes, they did NOTHING to generate turnovers. .
A genuine "# 1 defense" actually STOPS a sorry, pile o' dung offense like Cleveland's. Facing an offense with a ROOKIE Qb, a ROOKIE OT, and a ROOKIE RB, LeBeau managed to allow a weak, pitiful Clev offense to:
- go 33 yards on 7 plays to get in range for a chippie 33-yard FG. (NFL rules permit a defense to STOP an offense BEFORE they get into chippie FG range.)
- go 44 yards on 10 (TEN) plays to get in range for a chippie 32-yard FG. (NFL rules permit a defense to STOP an offense BEFORE they get into chippie FG range.)
- go 31 yards in only 3 plays to get the GAME-WINNING (or game losing, in this case) TOUCHDOWN in the 3rd quarter.
I also loved the weakling, 4-man pass rush on 3d & goal at the PIT 5 in the 1Q, which gave Weeden ALL DAY and all kinds of room and vision to complete the easy TD pass.
Yes, the offense stunk. The defense, facing such an inept opponent, wasn't much better.
This vaunted defense came into the game knowing they had to hunt bear, what with a 3rd string QB having to start plus the starting LG (Colon) ruled out in pregame warmups. Instead, they delivered yet another "nice effort" on PAPER, but overall a softie, mediocre effort against a weakling offense. C-
Mike Momlin’s new nickname -- The Vomiteer ! Why? He promotes vomit. He approves of vomit. He promulgates vomit. He endorses vomit. He condones vomit, and he fully seems to enjoy vomit. His abject failure to have his team ready to stomp on, and beat down, a weak, vastly inferior, 2-win opponent, while failing to have players focused enough to simply hold onto the fucking football, is inexcusable. The Vomiteer is all talk; no action. And as we know, action talks, bullshit walks.
And then there are the incessant benchings every time a RB fumbles. Franco Harris fumbled a few times in his prime. So did Walter Payton and Emmit Smith. With The Vomiteer’s auto-benching scheme, he was literally down to his rookie FOURTH string RB getting the bulk of the work in the 2H of a must-win road game. And this, of course, is a guy (Rainey) who is a specialty scatback, not an every-down back. So you have lil’ Chris Rainey being sent on a gut plunge on 3rd & goal at the 1, and of course getting stuffed. Only by sheer luck was Rainey able to bounce off the scrum a score, but it doesn’t absolve the assacholic stupidity. Using The Vomiteeer’s auto-bench rule, which 3 players will be signed off the taxi squad and the free agent market to supplant Medny, Dwyer, and Redman next week? F
Synopsis: Coupled with Balt’s late-game fluke win over San Diego, this just about ends this sorry-fuk season, which has been amazingly similar to 2009 in terms of losing time and time and time again to weak-assed, shit-pile opponents. There is no heart, there is no gusto, there is no focus, and there is no leadership. Rather, it’s 53 players and a handful of coaches just jogging around pell-mell with no purpose and no intent. Next week, we can expect they’ll all stand around under the Messiah Effect, in which a star player (Ben) returns to the lineup and everyone else stands around waiting for The Great Messiah to produce miracles. The draft cannot arrive soon enough.
(Still Mill and Stillers.com -- when it comes to the analysis of the Pittsburgh Stillers, no one else comes close….)
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