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Stillers-Bungals Postgame Analysis and Grades

December 24, 2012 by Still Mill


Cinci 13, Stillers 10 ……. Dec 23, 2012 …………Game # 15

Stillers-Bungals Postgame Analysis and Grades

The Stillers hosted the Bungals in a must-win game to make the playoffs, and just as they have since the KC game on Nov 12th, they slopped and slathered their way to what appeared to be an OT engagement.  But Ben sailed a pass to The Clanger that was INTd, and with only 14 seconds remaining, Cinci easily completed a 21-yard pass to set up a fairly chippie game-winning FG.   Season over. 



Ben -   overthrew Wally on a deep lob after a short scramble, 2nd series, a portent of things to come.  Telegraphed a 3d & 4 pass to Miler late in the 1Q, which was jumped and returned 17 yards for a Cinci TD.  Hit Brown on a deep ball late in the 1H to make it a 3-point game. 

Held the ball forever on 2nd & 12, 4Q, for a sack.   Luckily, Cinci was flagged for a hold.

On the run to his right, Ben lofted a pass far too high and long to Wally, which was INT’d with 14 secs remaining. 

Ben was tentative and scattershot all game long; refused to take off & run or simply throw the ball away, thereby taking foolish sacks; and never once seemed in command.   A weak, barf-inducing effort.    F 


Redman – good 2nd and 3rd effort, early 2Q, on  3d & 1 in which 3 Bengals were in the backfield.   Tremendous 3d & 4th effort on a 4th & 1 a short while later, and gained 2.   Had 3 carries for 4 yards.  Made a completely lame-fuk effort to tackle the Bengal DB on the pick 6 in the 1st half.  

Dwyer -  good run, opening play, bounced wide and gained 13.   Had some other okay runs as well, and finished with 39 yards on 14 carries.  

Rainey – clumsily bobbled and dropped a screen pass, late 3Q. 

Socrates Mendenhall:   Rare 2nd effort, gained 20 after getting stacked up after 5 yards, 2Q.   Good bounce wide for 12 yards late in the 4Q, and then followed it up with a tough 4-yard gain.  Finished with 50 yards on 11 carries in his last meaningful game in a Stiller uni.   B-


Johnson - had some solid blocks, such as on the 13-yard rush by Dwyer.   Used sparingly, though.    Inc.  


Wally - Mister Holdout grabbed his 1st pass of the game, mid 3Q.  This was his only catch.   Like Mendy, The Clanger has played his last meaningful game in a Stiller uni. 

Brown – good grab on tough out pass, 2Q.  Hauled in a 60-yard deep ball TD late in the 2Q.  Good pluck of crosser, 14 yards, 4Q.  Finished with 5 grabs for 97 in his best effort in weeks.  

Sanders – got a clutch grab on 3rd down, 3Q, for 13 yards.  Only grab of the game. 

Cotch – Good block on Dwy’s first run, which gained 13.   Grabbed a slant and took some punishment, 2Q. 

Plex - did not dress.  

No major drops, which was rare.     Still, had enormous problems getting open and were velcroed most of the game.    C+ 


Miller - Flagged for a hold that negated Daywer’s 11-yard run, late 1Q.   Then grabbed a quick short seamer for 15, before taking a shot to the knee that buckled his leg.   Miller gamely walked off the field in obvious discomfort.   Catch and run for 22 yards, mid 3Q.  Injured while run blocking just before the 2MW in the 4Q.   Had only 3 grabs.   After the game, it was discovered he has 2 knee injuries (MCL, PCL) and obviously is done for the season.  

Paulsen - played some, never targeted.      B- 


Starks: Got blown back toward the QB on the first sack.   On his own 9, committed a false start on 3d & 3, which was incredibly assaholic.  

Beacham - Had numerous struggles in both the run and pass pro.  

DeCastro – A humiliating afternoon for the Standford stud, who got used and abused like a doormat at the local 7-11 all game long.   Got totally abused on first pass attempt of game, sack.  Looked like complete dogshit.     Got totally abused and tooled for a 3rd down sack early in the 4Q.  Just a complete, dogshit effort.  A play after getting abused on a ground play that lost 2 yards in the 4Q, DeCastro got tooled AGAIN for a sack, although a CIN flag negated the sack.   I understand this is this homo’s 2nd-ever career game.....which is why I kept saying ALL of Sept and Oct what a folly it was to WASTE a roster spot on a guy who clearly would be over-matched if he were actually inserted into the lineup late in the season. 

Foster -  got forklifted and thrown to the ground on a 3d & 7 early in the 2Q.   Looked like a complete pile of shit.    Continually got tooled and abused on ground plays and allowed more leakage than a colander.  Flagged for a hold in the 4Q, which was declined. 

Pouncey – blocked nobody on the sack at 4:15 3Q.   Then limped off like a pussy.   Was continually beaten at the POA.   Seems to have taken his “All Pro” status too freely and now thinks he can work at 50% effort and get the job done.   News to Pouncey -- you can’t.    

No on blocked on a 3d & 2 late in the 3Q, in which Mendy got engulfed behind the LOS.    Pitt’s offensive line, under Paul Pyst, is pathetic.   This Stiller O-line might actually be worse.   F


Keisel – Dong Sack, of 1 yard, first series.  But then was flagged for unsportsmanlike conduct after this play, like a compete fuking jackass.  It was an absurd flag, but act like you’ve been in the league a few weeks, and act like the playoffs is actually on the line.   Instead of a Cinci punt, the Bungals got a 1st down at their 37.   Got a solo on a blown up end around, late 3Q. 

Hood - had 1 solo all game long and did next to nothing. 

Hampton – blew up a 2d & 1 plunge, 2Q, -5.  Had 2 solos, but did little to impact the game.  The closest man to the football. Fatty actually went offsides on a 3d & inches in the 3Q, like a complete dumfuk. With any kind of luck, this will be Fatty’s final meaningful game in a Stiller uni.  

Heyward – had a rare stop on a ground play for -1, late 4Q. 

McLendon – got rare PT, and got a half-sack, 4Q. 

They did manage to bottle the Cinci ground game, but the pass harassment was very, very minimal.     B


Foote -  had some slop stops in the running game.   That’s about it.  Foote hinted there‘s uncertainty about his return next season. “I wouldn‘t be surprised if this is my last year,” he said. “I wouldn‘t be surprised if I did come back next year. I‘m at that age when you never know what‘s going to happen.”   Here’s what should happen -- Foote gets CUT or asked not to come back.   We have no need for the slowest LB in all of pro football.  
Timmons – nearly untouched, Dong Sack, first series.   Good stick and wrap on 3d & 6, 6:30 2Q.   Good hustle sack, 3Q, as he eluded Ellis in the backfield.  Led the D with 8 solos.    Not a spectacular performance by any means, but solidly decent.    

Woodley – easily blocked out on a 2d & 15 shovel pass, which gained 23 yards late in the 2Q.  Despite playing 99% (or perhaps even 100%), finished the game with a whopping ONE solo and ONE assist, and never once applied a single ounce of pressure on the QB.  A complete pile of shit who did jack shit NOTHING the entire game.  

Worilds - rarely played, if at all. 

Harrison – Had only 2 solos and had a quiet sack.   Didn’t apply all that much pressure.  

Timmons:  B+     Harrison:  B-    Foote:  C+    Woodley:  F+ 


Pola -  slashed in and dropped Ellis, 1st series, no gain.   Managed to pick off Curtis Brown on a deep ball to Green, 1st series, ut luckily the pass was overthrown.   Timed the snap and jumped atop Smallton for a sack, late 3Q, for his first sack of the season.   

Ike - did not dress, due to injury.    

Lewis - PeeBoy managed to get a finger-nip to bust up a pass in the EZ.    Was clearly hobbled and fought bravely.  

Cort Allen- abused first play of game, and unable to tackle Green along s-line, allowed extra 5 yards.   Jumped a lollipop curl, 1st play of 2H, for an incredibly rare INT. Got a paw on a 3d & 9 out pass for a rare bust-up, late 3Q.  One play after a 28-yard PI flag, he forced a rare fumble on a curl reception by Green, which was recovered by Clark.  In the 4Q, he grabbed a busted-up pass for an INT along the sidelines.   Totally whiffed on a curl pass tackle of Green at 6:00 4Q. 

Clark – missed an easy INT, 1st series, when he literally was not looking at the ball, and then was stunned when the poorly overthrown pass landed about 14 inches from Clark.  A really dumbfuk play by a dumbfuk safety.  Finished with 1 solo the entire game.   Did nothing.  

Victorian - set up the 2nd INT when his bat landed in the arms of Allen.   This was actually a bad football play, as Vickie leapt OUT of bounds and then batted the ball IN bounds, and often another WR is lurking right there for a grab.  The play here is to either bat the ball further OOB, or simply allow the WR to catch the ball some 5 feet OOB for a harmless INC.  

Curt Brown - played some and wasn’t picked on as much as he usually is.  Dalton and Lewis were obviously asleep.  

Mundy - Fortunately, never played on defense.   His days in a Stiller uni should end in 7 days.  

In all, Green was allowed to roam wide and free; too many big plays were given up on 3rd & a mile; and the RAC tackling was sloppy and shoddy.    Allen: B+.    Others: C

Spec teams: 

Butler – from his own EZ, got off a dogshit, 37-yard punt that went OOB and gave Cinci golden FP at the PIT 42.   Rocketed a punt from the CIN 37 into the EZ early in the 3Q.   Complete fucking pile of shit.   Rare good punt, late 3Q, for 48 yards that was tackled at the CIN 10.  Midway thru the 4Q, Assler boomed a punt that landed in the EZ.  This stiff is the worst pooch punter since Josh “The Shitbag” Miller.  

Brown – just like last week, he was too chickenshit to field a punt, and instead of fair catching the ball at his 20, he allowed it to land and roll, and it was downed at the PIT 7.   Injured after a 5-yard punt return, late 3Q. 

Suisham jerk-hooked and missed a 24-yard FG, mid 2Q.  The snap sucked ass but Assler got it down, and for a boot that short, Suisham simply needs to be patient and punch it thru.   He was just short on a 53-yard FG late in the 4Q. 

Rainey had a couple adequate KO returns.      D-


Haley came out with his typical stalemate game plan, which once again attacked nothing; exploited nothing; and did nothing except play grabass.   Haley seems to enjoy simply jabbing at his opponent from afar, never interested in actually SCORING.  

Facing a 3d & 7 at the CIN 29 early in the 3Q, Gay-ly called his typically meandering, plodding pass play, which ended up getting sacked and pushing the team out of FG range in a 3-point ballgame.   Fucking pitiful.  

I have never seen an offense continually push itself OUT of FG range the way Todd Gayly’s does.  Any time there is a 3rd down on the opponent’s 29 or 31, you can bet $50 that a sack will immediately push the team out of range.   Yes, we know there are shitbags all over this OL.  So, you PLAN for that and call something -- anything -- that might actually gain 3 or 4 yards with a low risk of losing 8 yards.   Remember the quick flare passes from earlier in the season ?   Entirely GONE.   Haley has a shitload of re-tooling to do, assuming he’s somehow not fired in the offseason.    D-


On paper, Dick seemed to have an adequate game.  On paper. 

3d & 14, Grisham wide open, 25 yards, 3Q.  A few plays later, Cinci faced a 4th & 22, and rather than kicking a 50-yard FG or trying a pooch punt, they showed their utter disrespect & disregard of Dick and his vaunted “# 1 ranked defense”, and went for it.   Sure enough, Green was wide open on a sideline route that would have gained 30, but a tiny 1/2-inch piece of his ONE shoe was OOB, and luckily he was ruled OOB.   

After a Cinci timeout, Dick faced a 3d & 10 at the CIN 10, late in the 3Q.   A stop here obviously forces a punt from the CIN EZ and gives the Stiller offense golden FP.   But no, not Dick.  Hawkins is WIDE open on a routine seam route, and Smallton faces ZERO pressure at all, and the result is an easy pitch n’ catch for 19 yards.   

Dick faced a 3d & 9 at the CIN 11, 6:45 4Q, in a TIE game, and sure enough, gave up a cake-easy pitch n’ catch curl for 12 yards.  Rather than punting from their own EZ, this enabled the Bungals to continue the march,

After Cinci INT’d a pass late in the game and set up shop at the PIT 46 with only 14 secs left, Dick went with a softee THREE man rush and promptly allowed a cake-easy completion to GREEN for 21 yards, which set up the game-losing chippie 43-yard FG with 6 secs left.  

Dick dodged at least 9 bullets during the game, thanks to Candy Dalton’s scattershottedness where he was missing WIDE OPEN receivers by 10, 15, even 20 feet.  

Perhaps Dick should spend less time reciting Christmas stories and more time preparing for the next opponent.    .

James Harrison said it best after yesterday's sorry loss --

"We have to do a better job as players playing the game, individually and collectively. We have to do a better job as coaches, coaching the game, and putting our players in positions to make plays."

BINGO.    And you can be assured much of this was a thinly veiled shot at the over-aged, over-rated defensive coordinator.   

Indeed, time for the 75-year old Supreme Lord & Deity of Defensive Coaching to RETIRE, just like everyone else his age.    Just like the Mayan prediction that the world would come to an end on Dec. 21st, this will not cause the world to come to an end, nor will it cause the Steelers to go 0-16.    Bye bye, Dick !!   C-


A usual for this season, Momlin’s team came out in a stupor, with no gameplan whatsoever on offense and no preparation to stop the opponent’s most dangerous offensive player.   The continual slop that Momlin has tolerated and proliferated is simply inexcusable.  Ever since this team beat a NYG team in complete disarray just days after Super Storm Sandy, they pissed and shit the bed every week, to include:

  - vomit-laden, sloppy-assed win in OT over lowly KC

  - Sloppy, feeble loss to a weak Balt team

  - Sloppy, feeble loss to a weak Clev team

  - Sloppy-assed win over a weak, injury-ravaged Balt team

  - uninspiring, barf-licking loss at home to pitiful SD

  - shoddy, sloppy loss to mediocre Dallas

  - sloppy-assed, vomit-laden loss at home to Cinci

Ever since this team eked its way into the Super Bowl after the 2010 season, they’ve been complete slop and complete chaos.   Poor preparation has reigned supreme.   Slop is a the norm, not the exception.   Momlin’s seat had better be warmer than a griddle at IHOP.      F  

Synopsis:  Just another shit loss by a shit team to a shit team.   The season is now obviously over.   And forget any bullshit about “building momentum” with a win over Clev next week.  The mext meaningful game will be NINE months away.  At least 15 players will not be back.   Thus, there is no “momentum”.   I could tolerate the entire bench be cleared off and backups given large chunks of PT next week.   After all, what have the under-achieving starters done to merit PT ?? 


(Still Mill and -- when it comes to the analysis of the Pittsburgh Stillers, no one else comes close….)

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