Stillers let down record road “home” crowd
By PalmerSucks
November 11, 2014
“Ben looks deep -- and hits Brown for another Stillers touchdown! And the Stillers take a thirty-seven to ten lead! Just look at all those Terrible Towels waving! Just listen to that crowd… I’ve never seen so many visiting team’s fans in another team’s stadium!”
-- what you were supposed to be hearing, Sunday, November 9, 2014
A funny thing happened on the way to the Stillers blowout win over the last-place New York Jets: they wound up getting blown out themselves. Oh sure, the final score said they lost by a mere touchdown, but that was only thanks to a last-minute desperation bomb. Otherwise the team never threatened to tie, let alone win this one.
The worst part (and there were many bad parts) of this debacle is how thoroughly stuffed with Stillers fans Met Life Field was on Sunday. I know, I was one of them. In fact I’m convinced this crowd set a record for visitor’s fans seated in the home team’s house. As stadium takeovers go, a big one is say, 25 or 30 percent – I think this one actually went to the other side of the needle, maybe more than 50 percent!
Thanks to the excitement generated by the Stillers’ offense the last two weeks, combined with the Jets awful record, Stillers fans found all the tickets they needed. Yes, everything was set for a truly glorious day. Had the Stillers taken a lead even once, the noise would’ve forced Vick to a silent count, and the hostile takeover would’ve been the talk of the sports-gab shows all week.
But instead of enjoying one of the greatest fan experiences of my life, I got treated to one of the dumbest games ever played by the Stillers. So instead of drinking Yuengling and smoking victory cigars with my buds after the game, I got to celebrate the sight of the seagulls picking at trash in the parking lot.
The Stillers lost not so much because of what the Jets did, but because of their own stupidity. It certainly wasn’t Vick’s Flacco-like 10-for-18, 132 yard passing day that did them in (although a couple of his scrambles did some real damage.) No, this one’s on the Stillers, especially their two best players, Brown and Roethlisberger, who rode the Bonehead Express straight to Moronville.
Consider:
--On the pop-fly pick, a) Bryant is standing all alone at the first-down marker, and b) Brown is downfield in single coverage. Instead Ben tries to force the ball to Wheaton over the middle, surrounded as he is by at least four Jets defenders. Keep in mind Ben had all day back there to decide where to go with the ball, time even to point at Wheaton before locking onto him like a newborn baby to a nipple. Awesome.
--The first interception came off a play that was almost an exact copy of the one scored the previous week against Baltimore – a play that the NFL Matchup show featured on their following week’s program. Now, if Jaws and Hodgie caught this one on film, you can be sure that the Jets coaching staff did too.
The call is a slant to Bryant at the goal line, which the Jets were completely ready for, judging by how quickly the Jets DB reacted. So why didn’t the Stillers have Bryant fake inside, then switch outside to a flag? Instead of anticipating and defeating the opponents’ film study, the Stillers dumb-assedly executed things just like they’d done on tape. Excellent.
--Game after game, Brown makes fair catches with miles of empty space around him. Sunday he decides to field a tricky punt on the run with defenders bearing down on him. The result is a predictable muff and Jets’ recovery. Brilliant, just brilliant.
--And finally, let’s hear it for the year’s most brain-dead call, the “Harrison-tries-his-hand-at-fullback goal-line goof,” brought to you by the good folks in the coma ward at Mercy Hospital. What football genius came up with that one? Note to coach: that whole Refrigerator-Perry, use-the-defensive-guy-to-score-and-rub-it-in thing looks a lot less embarrassing when you’re up two touchdowns.
Those are just some of the lowlights. I’m sure you have your own.
Again, one of the most disappointing days as a Stillers fan I’ve ever spent. Not because they lost, but because I never got to see the historic, volcanic eruption of fanhood that should’ve taken place. Thanks, Stillers, for keeping one of the greatest chapters in fan history from ever being written.
Speaking of dumb, let’s talk about Dri Archer and how the team has been using him. Now, I know you probably think Archer’s the biggest bust since Darryl Sims, but I watched him play college ball, and I know how explosive he can be. Archer’s lack of production isn’t simply about Archer, but the asinine way the Stillers have chosen to use him.
Rather than isolate him in the flat, try to get him open in space, or split him wide, there go the Stillers sending him up the middle yet again, as if he were named Marshawn Lynch. Yes, nothing says “smart football” like continuously rushing a 173-pound scatback up the gut. So before we give up on Archer, let’s at least see him used on some plays that more fit his skills – and size.
Something you probably didn’t see unless you were at the game Sunday was the little “sign” Archer flashed at Wheaton on a kickoff return. (I caught this sitting up in the stands.) Starting on the left wing, Archer ran backwards as the ball was kicked, looping around and sprinting down the opposite side. That’s when he flashed this little wave at Wheaton – maybe a signal for a pass? Had that been the case, Archer would’ve been wide-open and all alone down the right sideline. Was this possibly a test run? Stay tuned for further developments as the season goes on.
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Stillers.com reader “Len” asks the following:
“Ok, here is a topic for the brain trust at Stillers.com:
How the F*CK do the Steelers lose to so many total shit teams in the Tomlin era. Give us an analysis as to the whys, hows and wherefores boys... And they aren't just losing to average horrible teams... they lose to absolute bottom shit teams. How does this keep happening over and over?”
I’ll handle this one.
You know, Len, I’ve had a theory about this for some time now. It might be kind of whacked, but I’m going to say it anyway.
I believe the Stillers tighten up against the bad teams, only opening things up when they play an opponent they respect or fear. Notice the aggressive, downfield passing attacks used against both the Colts and Ravens. Now think about the shell the Stillers went back into against the Jets, reverting back to the dink screens and other cutesy little horseshit that characterized the earlier part of the season.
Rather than open it up against the bottom-feeders and play it safe against the better teams, the Stillers – oddly enough -- seem to do the opposite. They actually call a more conservative offense, and give more cushion on defense to the “horrible” squads. (In fact, I don’t believe the Stillers even ran a triple-WR set until the fourth quarter on Sunday.) So if you’re wondering just how the hell the Stillers can beat Indy and Baltimore and lose to Tampa and the Jets, well maybe you’ve just found the answer.
In any case, this is the kind of sphincter-ball that keeps things close, and keeps bad opponents in the game. Or worse – not opening things up even when you fall behind 17-0 by the second quarter means it might be too late once you do finally start going downfield. Notice again that even down that many points to the Jets, the Stillers were still groping and pissing around with dink plays. The jagoff screen to Bell with less than a minute left in the half is a prime example.
To borrow from Mill’s post-game: “Why, yet another screen play, this one a tunnel screen to a split-out Bell, in which he was nearly decapitated on a play that gained ZERO yards and wasted precious time.” Why? Because when you’re determined to play small ball, nothing else matters except keeping your sphincter tight.
The coaching staff actually seems to believe that this team is superior in talent enough to handle the bad teams without having to open up their offense. At least that’s what it seems to me. And if that’s the case, then somebody in the ‘burgh is smoking the same stuff Bell and Blount are – a lot of it.
Playing small ball is fine when you’ve got an elite defense, but, despite the delusions of the men who run the Pittsburgh Stillers, that’s not the case with the team anymore. The best shot the Stillers have to win is to open up their downfield passing game, ditch the bullshit screens and plunges, and stop pretending this is 2004.
Or to look at it another way: the team just isn’t “elite” enough to beat bad teams anymore just by showing up and playing that infamous “Stillers football” you’ve heard so much about. They don’t have the defense to pull it off, even if they tried. It’s a big reason they’ve lost in recent years to such quarterbacking legends as Mike Glennon and Bruce Gradkowski, or advanced-aged Mike Vick.
There’s no question the Stillers under Mike Tomlin have been horrible against weak team. The mind-numbing number of losses to sub-.500 squads proves it. But losing to bad teams is only part of the picture. You’ve no doubt heard that the team “plays up to the competition” as well as “plays down to it.” Well maybe what I’ve discussed helps explain why.
Combine this overly conservative football with a dose of lackluster preparation and a load of overconfidence, and you’ve got the recipe for disaster against the “lesser” guys.
Oh, and if that doesn’t explain why the Stillers lost Sunday, maybe this will:
http://www.foxsports.com/nfl/story/look-who-showed-up-steelers-bible-study-justin-bieber-110914
Thanks for your question, Len. I’ll be expanding on this topic some more in a soon-to-come commentary.