The home of die hard Pittsburgh Steelers fans. It's not just a team, it's a way of life!

Stillers-Titans Postgame Analysis and Grades

September 09, 2013 by Still Mill

Titans 16, Stillers 9  ……. Sep 8, 2013 …………Game #1
Stillers-Titans Postgame Analysis and Grades

The Stillers hosted the fairly lowly Bitans on opening day.   The game started out swell, as the opening KO was botched by Tenn and gave the Stillers a freebie 2 points just 3 tics into the game.   It was all downhill from there, as both sides of the football faltered and stumbled en route to a fiasco of a 16-9 loss.  


QB:  Ben missed a wide open Sanders on a lil wheel route to Sanders, 1st series.  Poor pass.  Came back net play to make a deft pass on the run to Brown for 20 yards on 3d & 9.    Ben’s handoff to Red was too high, which casued a fumbled in the Tenn EZ for a TB.  Took a foolish sack late in the 1Q with foolish pumping.   INT in 2Q caused b a rusher hitting his arm as he threw.    Dogshit pass into the dirt on 3d & 4 late in the 3Q.   The entire 3Q was a nightmare, in fact.  He managed to get the team on the board with a late TD, but that was mostly in garbage time with the Bitan defense playing a Dick-like softee scheme.   Ben was harassed all too often, but he played a meek and timid brand of football.  C- 

RB:  An overall ghastly nightmare.    

Redman - Started and did little.  Looked slow and anemic.    Charged with a fumble at the end of the 1st drive, but it actually was a piss-poor handoff that bounced off his chest plate and into the EZ for a Tenn TB.   Not to be outdone, Redman had a legit fumble of his own in the 2Q.      D+

Jones -  Because he’s a new guy and hasn’t proven himself to Coach Tomlin, Jones primarily rotted the bench and only got some small PT after LSH left the game to injury.   Again, because he was new, he was not permitted to touch the ball, not once, the entire game.   He did botch a pass pro block, although if that were the case for benching, you’d have had about 14 guys nailed to the bench by halftime.     Inc

LSH - dropped a cake-easy pass on 3D to abort the first drive of the 2H.   Got over-powered by LB Z. Brown for a sack on 3d & 3 in the 3Q.  Piss poor, but this was clearly an over-match.   Got injured on a screen pass reception late in the 3Q and did not return.   “Led” the team in rushing today (hold the snickering, please) with 19 yards on 6 carries.      B-

Bell - The China Doll did not dress.   Maybe some day he will.    Inc 

Dwyer - Oh, wait, he was cut, because as you know, this team is so talented, deep, and healthy at this position. 

FB: Will Johnson did not play, due to a ham.   For no apparent reason, he dressed, wasting a game-day spot on a man who was never used.  Inc.


Brownie - Made some good grabs and led the way with 5 grabs for 71.  

Sandy - Thrown a deep ball on first play of game and made a “hoop catch” by which he allowed the ball to go right thru his hands that were spread wide like a basketball hoop.   Shoddy technique for a man with his experience.   Had 7 grabs for 57 yards, but really showed how miscast he is as a starting WR.   He’d be fine as a #3, or as a #2 in Brady’s system up in New England, but on this team he’s a pedestrian 8-yards-per-catch kind of guy, which is what he produced today and most likely will produce all season.  

Cotch - clutch 3d & 7 grab, 1st drive.   Superb stretch for the sticks later on the drive on a 3d & 8.   Grabbed a short slant for a TD late in the game, in front of a total of about 8,000 fans.     Actually earned his keep today, one of the few who did.   A

Wheat - Did not play on offense, because after all, he’s a rookie and rookies are rarely ever permitted to contribute on a Tomlin-coached team.  And, of course, the team is blessed with a vast array of speed and skill at the WR corps.  Inc

TE:  With 4 TEs in the 53-man, you’d think someone would produce.   Alas, the production was shit, which matches the on-hand TEs. 

David Johnson - Grabbed 1 pass for 11.   Run blocking sucked, as usual.  

Paulson - remarkably, the best receiving TE on the team besides Miller was never targeted with a pass.  Mediocre run blocking. 

Miller - Naturally, did not dress.   Probably won’t contribute until November, but what the hell, at least he’s tying up a scare spot on the 53-man. 

OL: The line got gashed and thrashed both in the running game and pass pro.

Adams - Puffer Adams blocked NO ONE on the sack of Ben late in the 4Q.  He struggled like a bitch in run blocking and did nothing all game long.   Amazing how a guy who has consistently shown so little can be handed a starting job on a silver platter.     D

Gilbert -   Just gave up on the play on the sack of Ben, late 1Q.   His modus operandi seems to be to stab for about 2 seconds, and then give up, which he did repeatedly all game long.    D     

Foster - played okay, but failed to maul and open up holes in the ground game.   C- 

Pouncey - got injured during the first drive and is done for the season.  Inc

DeCastro -See Foster.   Also, like a complete jackass, he dove directly into the legs of Pouncey -- missing the defender he was trying to chop by about 5 feet -- thus ending Pouncey year.   Thanks, David, you stupid-assed dildo.   F- 

Beacham - came in for Pounce.   Had some problems with SG snaps but overall, did mediocre.   Never played center before this past spring, and clearly not an every week Center at this level of football.   His grade would be lower, but again, he’s never played the position in a meaningful NFL game.   C+ 


Keisel - applied some pressure to force an errant pass, 1Q.  Had a decent overall game.     B

McLendon - good chase and lick of Johnson, mid 3Q.   Had a strong overall game, with lots of good hustle and effort.   Had 2 solos and 4 As, which are huge numbers in this 3-4 defense.    A-

Hood - rare stop of Johnson, chashing him down the LOS.   Did okay, but didn’t jam the running lanes as well as needed.     C+   

Heyward - meandered to and fro, and did little.    It’s his third season in the NFL, and it’s time to hunt bear, not meander about and look busy.      D+


Timmons - played okay, and had 4 solos and 1 A.   Still, didn’t shut down the run as well as I would have liked.     B- 

Foote - Had his typical slop-shit game.   Unblocked, had an EASY chance to stop Battle on 4th and inches, but like the pile of shit that he is, he was shrugged off like a toddler and the 1st down was made.   Whiffed in the BF on Johnson, who gained 8 yards midway thru the 4Q.   Thankfully got hurt on the play and left the ballgame for good, and is done for the season with a torn bicep.   Never again shall I have to report on this sorry pile o’ dung.    Oh, wait ....Colbert will rabidly re-sign this guy in the offseason.    F-    

Worilds - For no reason whatsoever, got the start over Jones.  Walled off easy as pie by a TE on a Johnson run, 7:20 2Q, good for 4 yards.   Got trucked by Battle on a dive play on the final play of the 3Q, in which Battle gained 8 yards when he should have gained only 2.   Subbed in for Big LaMarr on a few plays in the 2H.   Finished with a whopping 0 solos and 3 assists.    Showed how truly mediocre he is and will always be.  C-   

Jones - made a tooth-rattling tackle of Johnson in the 2Q.   Good thing he’s rotting the bench behind a pedestrian player like Worilds.  Of course, after the Clowney-like smash, he was soon relegated to the bench.  Did start the 3Q.   Finished with 2 solos and shows some good promise.    B

Big LaMarr -  Got a rare Earned Sack on a WLR (wide loop rush) in the final play of the 1Q.  Got a slop stop of Johnson on a 3d & mega-long draw play, 1st play of 2Q.   Got walled off by TE Raig Stevens on a 1st  & 10 run in the 2Q, which Johnson easily cruised around the corner for an easy 7 yard gain.  Easily blocked by a RB, Mooney, at 2:00 2Q,which allowed Johnson easy access to the corner for a 6-yard gain.   In fact, during that long, laborious 12-play drive that featured 11 running plays, 7 of those ground runs were run at  The Big He-man, Woodley, which just goes to show the complete lack of respect the Titans had when they could have easily picked on Worilds or a rookie on the other side.   Whiffed on Johnson in BF, 2nd play of 3Q.  Easily SEALED IN on a wide Johnson run at 10:00 4Q, good for 11 yards and a 1st down.   Of course, ever the leader that he is, LaMarr grouched and bellyached after the game, with this bullshit rant -- ““It always affects you, and in a lot of ways when you're on the field as long as we were in the second half.”   Simple solution, FatAss LaMarr -- get the fuk off the field in 3 plays, and ya won’t be so pooped and tired.   Also, if you paid any attention at all during the game, you’d have seen LaMarr’s constant titty-groping with opposing TEs and RBs, rather than SHEDDING the man and hunting bear the way a $61M LB is supposed to.  This guy has no clue how to disengage from a blocker.   D-
Wilson - came in for SlowAFoote midway thru the 4Q.  Had 2 solos.   Already looks 3 times better than the sorry fuk he replaced.     B


Ike - did okay, but gave up 3 1st down receptions to Nate Washington, of all stiffs.   Not impressive.    C- 

Pola - vaulted in and nabbed Locker on a timed snap-count.  Failed to corral an INT off a batted pass that went some 19 feet in the air.   Active with 5 solos, but far from a game changing effort.    Also flagged for an offsides.  B- 

C. Allen - bowed out with an ankle injury.    Inc

Clark - moved as slow as whaleshit on a bubble screen to Delanie Walker late in the 2Q, and then got easily out-raced to the corner, allowing a 7-yard gainer when any ordinary NFL D-back would have stopped it for a piddly 1-yard gain.   Remember, Walker is a lumbering, plodding, 250-lb TE.   Clark hobbled off, midway 3Q, with an arm.  Came back, but then got injured at 10:00 4Q.  He was flagged for a PI for 23 yards in the 4Q.  With any kind of luck, perhaps he’d be lost for the season, but alas, he apparently is fine.   D 

Gay - got away with a PI on a 3D play in the 2Q.  Busted up a couple of pass plays.     B-

Golden - replaced Clark, midway 3Q.   Inc

Thomas - saw some nickel PT.   Made a tackle on a short curl at 5:00 3Q.    B

Spec teams: 

Zoltan -   Punted ok, although he did have a short, shabby punt in the 4Q.  None of Mesko's 5 fielded-punts were bobbled, dropped, or fumbled.   So much for the large dividends that Momlin was counting on from that dastardly left-footed spin.   C 

Suisham - weak, squib boot to start the game, but voila !   It turned into the 2 fastest points in Stiller history when the Titan KO returner fielded it at the 1-inch line, and  knelt backwards into the EZ for an apparent touchback that was correctly ruled a safety.   Turns out he injured a ham in pregame.   He didn’t try any FGs, so it’s a mystery as to how much he’s injured.     Inc

Sharko Thomas had a good, crisp tackle on punt coverage in the 1Q.  Golden had a good stop in punt coverage early in the 4Q. 

Feeble, timid KO return by Wheaton in the 4Q, which was stopped at his own SEVEN yard line.    He sucks almost as bad as the Titan who returned the game-opening KO.     D- 

Worilds had the obligatory block to the back flag, and Thomas remarkably held on a punt return that was fair caught.


The clusterfuk that occurred on the Redman 1Q fumble is inexcusable for an offense that uses ZERO rookies.   There were supposed to be 2 RBs in the game on that play, but somehow bootfooted David Johnson was on the field.   The alignment got dicked up and alas, a botched handoff took at least 3 points off the boar.d  I was really impressed with how Haley attacked (sic) the Titans right after halftime.   3 straight plays to the new “feature back”, Lil’ Larod.   On the next series, not to be outdone, Haley called two line plunges to Lil’ Larod that netted 7 yards.  The offense mustered zero 1st downs in the 3Q.  

The playcalling at game’s end was really clever.   Down by 14 and desperate for a QUICK score, they faced a 1st & goal at the Tenn 4, with 2:02 remaining.   First pass, well short of goal line, inc.   2nd pass, well short of goal line, inc.   3rd pass, well short of goal line, complete to Redman for no gain.   Alas, finally on 4th down, Haley was clever enough to try a pass at the goal line, which was caught for a TD.  

It speaks volumes about what a fiasco this offense is, when the head coach and half the offense bemoan the loss of a backup O-lineman as their blocking TE, which apparently was the focal, primary key to the offensive game plan today.   I hadn’t realized that, despite having Ben, Brown, et al, that Kelvin Beacham as a blocking TE was the fulcrum to this entire offense.  F

DC:   Tenn was 26th in NFL in total offense last season, so it’s not like the defense was facing the ’84 Dolphins, the ’94 49ers, or the ’99 Rams.    Their leading (sic) receiver is Nate Washington, a career #4 WR if there ever was one.   Their QB is Jake Locker, a 3rd year greenhorn who’d started all of 11 NFL games in a very undistinguished manner.   Yet here were the Bitans, ripping off lonnnngggg marches, while Dick The Dullard stood helpless and hapless on the sideline.   Sure enough, you’ll hear all kinds of bullshit around the water cooler on Monday, about how “the defense at least held them to 16 points”.   That’s complete bullshit.   This Titan team couldn’t score 16 points against a good WPIAL AAAA team.    They suck ass on offense.  The Bitans  have no QB, no TEs, and no WRs.   This is a slovenly offense just begging to be shut out.   Yet Dick stands there, with thumbs up every orifice, befuddled and confused. 

The key drive was in the 2Q, when Tenn took over at the PIT 49 with 7:32 left in the half.  12 plays, with 11 runs and 1 inc pass, for a 49-yard TD march late in the 2Q.   I wonder how it felt for Dick to have the ball JAMMED down his throat during that methodical march ??   We can only assume Dick felt like the typical porn actress while being forced to take on and inhale John Holmes’ manhood during a scene.  The drive consumed 6:48 late in the second quarter and gave Tenn the lead just before halftime
The Titans also converted four of their nine third-down conversions in the second half, including a third-and-15 and a third-and-13 on a field-goal drive early in the third quarter that gave the Titans a 10-2 lead.   A simple STOP forces a punt, not a chippie FG.    On that drive in the 3Q, on a 3d & 15, Dick was victimized for 25 yards on a pass to D. Walker.  A few plays later, Dick was again victimized on 3d & 13, with Nate Wash grabbing a pass for an easy 15 yards. 

The Bitans iced the game in the 4Q , on an 11-play drive that began at the Tenn  TWELVE.    A stop there forces a PUNT and gives the offense GOLDEN FP.   Nope, not Dick.    He shits the bed again and allows this looonggggg, clock-chewing MARCH for a FG that ices the game.    

 The Bitans have SHIT for a QB and a MEDICORE joke of a receiving corps.    Yet Dick was unable to SHUT them down, or force a SINGLE fuking turnover.   Not one.   Not ever.

Turnovers?   NONE.    Golden FP given to the offense?   NONE .    Big plays ?   NONE.    Hard hits ?    Just one, by a rookie playing in his first NFL game.  Heavy harassment on the QB ?   Aside from about 3 plays,  NONE.     Confusuion and disruption of the greenhorned QB on 3rd & long?   NONE.     Ability to deal with a neanderthal full-house backfield of 3 RBs ?   NONE.  

You’ll hear cries about “how long the D was on the field.”   That’s precisely what dim-bulbed idiots will proclaim.   Here’s a suggestion for the defense -- get the fuk OFF the field early in the drive, and ya won’t be on the field for a long time.   Stop giving up 3d & 15s, and 3d & 13s, and by golly, you’ll get plenty o’ rest on the sidelines.   Stop having the ball jammed down your throat by a Neanderthal, 3-back full-house-like running attack that should have been chewed up and spit out, and you’ll have plenty of rest. 

I also liked how, after the Clowney-like smash by Jarvis Jones, he was soon relegated to the bench.  See, Dick isn’t looking for big hits and intimidation on this defense, bur rather cerebral prowess in the classroom on Tuesdays and Wednesdays.     

All in all, another shit job by the most over-rated coordinator in NFL history, Dick The Dullard LeBeau.   D- 

HC:  A shit effort by a team clearly unprepared for the rigors of the regular season.   Slop, lethargy, and chaos ruled the day.  Besides perhaps playing with little boys in shower stalls like Jerry Sandusky, what exactly has this lame nincompoop been doing the past EIGHT MONTHS to prepare for this season ?   The roster is in chaos and the entire team looked like a Chinese fire drill.    

"Our plan could have been better under the circumstances," said Mike Tomlin, who lost his first home opener after six consecutive successes. "Obviously, we had intended on using Kelvin Beachum some at tight end. When he had to go in at center, that changed. We didn't adjust well enough. I take responsibility for that."   Wait a minute.  Beacham was their #1 lineman off the bench, be it OG, OT, or Center.   They hadn’t PLANNED for what to do should Beacham be needed to play an OL position ???    With the injury to Pouncey, only Whimper was available to play today.  How in the same fuking hell can you leave yourself so devoid of depth for an NFL game?   Who’s running this team...Donald Duck, or Bart Simpson ??    Certainly not Mike Momlin, as clueless a head coach as exists at any level of football.    F

GM:  I typically don’t grade the GM after a game, but I would be remiss if I failed to do so.   I’d written last week about what a fiasco the 53-man roster is.    This is a GM who has spent more energy acquiring punters (Moorman, Mesko) than he has RBs and O-lineman.   Colbert has smugly run off Harrison, Legursky, Starks, and Dwyer.  We're so deep and talented and healthy, it must be fun running off all these players we don't need.   It’d be funny, if we actually had depth and health at any of those positions.   And then there’s the insistence of carrying cripples like Miller on the 53-man instead of the PUP, which ties up a scare roster spot and severely limits depth.    Colbert’s primary flaw right now is contentment and laziness.   He’s a sloth who, like LeBeau, is living on past glories while doing nothing in the present.    F- 

Synopsis:  You reap what you sow.    A slackly squad meekly finishes at .500 in 2012, and then the leadership team of Momlin/Colbert does NOTHING -- literally nothing -- to improve the roster or even shake it up a bit.   The unbalanced, bizarre final 53-man left no room for depth, and now that came home to roost as a center, an ILB, and a RB were injured.   There was no game plan on either side of the football, nor were there any adjustments mid-game or at halftime.   The sense of urgency, ferocity, and intensity was clearly missing.   The ’94 and ’01 teams were dominated and destroyed on opening day and each managed to get to the AFC Title game, but this team appears to be a long way off from that. 


(Still Mill and -- when it comes to the analysis of the Pittsburgh Stillers, no one else comes close….)

Follow Mill on Twitter, at StillMill1


Like this? Share it with friends: Follow me on Twitter:
Your opinion counts so voice it!! There are 7 comments on this article in the fan forums. Join the discussion.
Don't have an account? Sign up now (it's free)

Other Related Articles
09/12/2013 The WoodenDong Report (Game #1, vs. Tenn) by by Still Mill
09/10/2013 Dick the Dullard Again Shows Grande Ignorance by by Still Mill
09/07/2013 Are the Stillers Destined for Mediocrity this Season? by by Palmer Sucks