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Stillers-Chefs Postgame Analysis and Grades

November 13, 2012 by Still Mill







Stillers 16, Chefs 13 (OT) ……. Nov. 12, 2012 …………Game # 9
Stillers-Chefs Postgame Analysis and Grades

The Stillers did an ol’ fashioned slop n’ slather, playing down to the lowly 1-7 Chefs amid a steady rain.   The Chefs managed their first lead in regulation this season, and soon were up 10-0.  The Stillers tied it and the score was tied at the half.   The Stillers eked out a FG in the 2H, although the Chefs had a TD called back due to a phantom holding call and then their PK missed a chippie FG.    Late in the game, the vaunted “#1 defense” had a chance to close out the game, but instead gagged on several occasions, not the least of which was a 4th & 15 with 22 secs remaining that KC converted for a 27-yard gain to set up a tying FG.   Luckily for the Stillers, Matt Assel, inept as he is, threw a hideous curl pass in OT that was a good 9 feet off the mark, and Timmons was able to INT it to set up the game-winning  FG. 

Due to the late-nite nature of this game, this summary will be a bit shorter and more terse than usual.                                     



Ben - had Sanders open in the EZ in the 2Q, but hesitated and lollipopped the ball, and it was slapped away by the DB.  Clutch 14-yard scramble on 3dd & 4, 2Q.  Opened the 2H with a lollipop lob into man-plus coverage to Wally.  Fortunately, the CB dropped an easy INT.  Ben was sacked in the 3Q and left the game with an injured right shoulder.  Ben finished with 9 of 18 for 8 yards, in a very tentative, skittish, ineffective start. 

Leftwich had all day on his first play, and then missed his receiver by about 12 yards.  Two plays later, he nearly created disaster when he foolishly allowed the ball to slip out of his hands and almost “looked like” a fumble, and it was returned for a TD.   Fortunately, the ref crew, unlike last week, over-ruled the ruling on the field and correctly ruled it an inc pass.  Under no pressure at all, Lefty threw a shitty pass, way off target, to Sanders in the EZ on 3d down from the KC 13 early in the 4Q.  He finished 7 of 14 for 73 yards, and looked like a greenhorned rookie that had just been signed off the practice squad.  Ben: C-, Leftwich: C- 


Redman - stayed upright too long, and was stripped on a 1st & 29 (yes, 29) line plunge, giving KC the ball at the PIT 10.  On a play like this, where his legs are wrapped up by 2 defenders and it’s 1st & 29, Redman needs to simply get down on the ground and live for another play.  Ran tentatively nearly the entire game.   Dropped a 1-yard out late in the 4Q and then took a punishing hit.   

Dwyer - ripped off a big 17 yard run, 2Q.  Had 19 carries for 56 yards.

Rainey - Did not touch the ball at all on offense.   Probably still gimpy from the spear from last week. 

Baron Batch - did not play

Socrates Mendenhall:  Surprise (sic)….did not dress.  Good thing he was taken off PUP (sic).      Overall, a feckless performance by this crew.   C-


Johnson - dropped an out pass at 10:35 4Q that would have gained 6.   Had 1 grab for 7.  Blocking was marginal.   C+


Wally - Mister Holdout grabbed a short crosser in the 1Q, and amazingly held onto the ball.   The Clanger was wide open on a deep post at the KC 2 for an EASY TD, but as usual, the ball clanged off his hands for an incompletion.   A few plays later, Wally tried to 1-hand an EZ lob and, of course, the ball clanged off his skillet-like hand.  Luckily, on this occasion, he managed to clang the ball between his knees, and he was able to use his knees and hands to cradle the ball for a most bizarre TD grab.  

Sanders - juggled an out pass, early 1Q, which was correctly ruled OOB.   Failed to aggressively come back for the EZ pass in the 2Q, which was batted away.  Clutch grab on 3d & 9, with a huge RAC that gained 31 yards late in the 3Q. 

Cotch - clutch grab on 3rd down, deep in PIT territory, to gain 22 yards late in the 4Q.  

Brown - did not dress, due to the ankle injury.      C+


Miller - started out on fire, with 3 grabs early on.    After the 2Q, was totally written out of the passing game.  Missed some blocks, including a critical 4th & 1 plunge in the 3Q.  

Pope -  Invisible or did not play. 

Paulsen - snagged a short pass and then fumbled early in the 2Q, but luckily we recovered.  Grabbed a curl a short while later for 9.    B-


Starks: Had his hands full with the outside speed rush.  

Gilbert - did not dress

Adams - surprisingly, wasn’t abused to the inside like he often is.   

Colon - Flagged for a hold that negated Redman’s 8-yard run in the 1Q, and then compounded it with a “personal foul, cursing at officials” flag to set up a 1st & 29.   Had some solid run blocks but also missed on a fair share. 

Foster -  Played ok, but struggled in getting push and openings.    

Pouncey - Had struggles nearly all game long.   Unimpressive.        D+


Keisel - stuffed a plunge, 1st series, and then got a Dong Sack the next play.   Had 6 solos, which is a huge number for him, and fairly impressive in that KC ran to its right all game long. 

Hood - in an extreme rarity, he fought off a block and nailed a ballcarrier for a 1-yard loss in the 4Q.  This has to be the first time all season Hood has accomplished such a humdrum feat.  KC ran to its right all nite long, right at Hood, and he was mostly unable to hold up at the POA.    

Hampton -   totally blown off the ball and buried, Hillis run for 6 yards, late 1Q.  Stuffed Charles, late 2Q.  The D-line got gashed all nite long by the Chef ground game, and Fatty was on the field for nearly every one of these runs.

Heyward - saw some limited PT and did little.

McClendon - did little

Wood - subbed for Hood and got destroyed on the few plays he was in.     Overall, a poor evening by this slothful crew.    D-


Foote -  Despite the 33 RB runs the Chefs ran, plus a host of other plays, finished with 3 solos.    Piss poor. 

Timmons - rare stop, on Charles, 3:51 1Q.   Blistered Hillis for no gain, 3Q.   Made a barf-laden tackle attempt on Bowe, which Bowe casually shrugged off and ran into the EZ for a TD.  Luckily, KC was flagged for a ridiculously tickytack hold by an O-lineman.  Finally displayed his speed and athleticism, flashing over to nab Charles on a screen pass at 9:00 4Q.  Superb pluck of an INT in OT, and then a good return to the KC 6.  Had only 4 solos (KC’s Derrick Johnson, by comparison, had TWELVE), but a solid effort by Timmons and the kind of impact he needs to have week in and week out. 

Woodley - 1st play, RB up RT, easy 9 yards.  This set the tone for the entire evening.   Got a slop stop, next play, 2d & 1, easy 2 yards.  Slop assist on plunge, 6:26 1Q.  2 plays later, easily sealed off on wide Charles run, 7 yards & a 1st down.  Stopped Charles on 1st play of 2Q, as he was SOLO blocked by a backup TE and nabbed a stuttering Charles.  Dropped into middle zone coverage on 3d & 8 in the 3Q, Woodley moved as slow as whaleshit converging on Cassell, who easily gained 9 yards.  A totally shit play by a shit LB.   A few plays later, on 3d & 3, Big LaMar had trouble fighting off a SOLO block by a TIGHT END, and then got stiff armed and had his dick shoved into the dirt by Hillis, who skirted wide for 4 yards.  Again, another shit play by a bag of shit LB.   Despite what Gruden claimed (“Woodley set the edge on this play”), LaMarr was totally sealed and shoved inside on the Hillis 3d & 1 run midway thru the 4Q; fortunately, Allen and others made the stop.  Solo blocked by a TE, Woodley then whiffed on Cassell, who managed to get back to the LOS.  The $61M Man could have ended the game on the late 4th & 15, but feebly whiffed like a complete asspump, allowing Cassell to complete the 27-yard pass.   

Worilds - did nothing.   Not sure if he ever got on the field. 

Harrison - Very little.   Had 1 solo all game long.  Sure, the Chefs ran right 90% of the time, but there were plays to be had.   He had zero pass pressure on the QB 99% of the time.   Incredibly savvy of Colbert to rush this man into the lineup instead of taking advantage of the new 6-game PUP rule.  At this rate, Harrison won’t be near 100% until February.    Timmons::  A-      All others:  D-


Pola -  did not dress; calf injury

Ike -  got a hand in on a deep post lob to Baldwin at 12:25 4Q.  Got lazy and GAVE UP on the pattern on the late 4th & 15, allowing a 27-yard completion to Bowe.   Remarkably similar to the late 3rd & 9 in the Sup Bowl 3 yaers ago versus GB, although this give-up was even worse. 

Lewis - An ok game by PeeBoy.    Busted up a pass that was juggled by the KC backup WR; really, should have been caught.    Bit early in the game on the deep lob to Moeaki.

Will Allen -- pussyfied tackle attempt on Charles on TD run in the 1Q.    Lame, and extremely pussyfied.   Actaully came up in run support to stuff Hillis on a critical 3d & 1 at 7:40 4Q. 

Mundy - fortunately, saw only limited PT.

Cortez Allen - nothing to comment on.

Clark -  shitty-assed tackle attempt on Moeaki, which added 5 yards onto a 38-yard gain in the 1Q.   Dropped an easy INT that would have been a pick-6 at 11:50 4Q.   A shit play by a stonehanded FS.  Got injured after Bowe dropped a pass late in the 4Q, with an apparent concussion.     C+

Spec teams: 

Butler had a dogshit 35-yard punt early in the 3Q, giving KC golden FP at their 40.   In the 4Q, Butler got off another dogshit punt, this one landing and bouncing for a whopping 38 yards to the KC 24.   Unacceptably poor.   Then, at 2:00 4Q, Butler boomed the ball from the PIT 42 into the KC EZ for a touchback.   Total pile of shit.   Worst effort of the season and hopefully not a portent of things to come, as this team will be doing a ton of punting if Ben is out.  

Suisham got the team on the board with a 35-yarder in the 2Q.  Shit KO after his FG early in the 4Q.   Nailed a chippie FG to win the game.

Gilreath saw his first NFL action, ever, and handled the punt return chores with Tonio Brown out.  He fumbled a punt return at 3:43 3Q, but luckily he managed to hold the ball thru the hit and the ball didn’t come out until he hit the ground, and the play was ruled no-fumble.

Good stop in punt coverage by Cortez Allen in the 4Q. 

Rainey looked tentative on kick returns and is likely still tender from the spear in last week’s game.    Butler:  D-    All others: B


Constant, steady rain, and Todd Haley comes out throwing 3 of first 4 plays, before punting.   Brilliant !!

Wasted timeout, early 4Q, on a 1st down play after the offense got a free timeout as the refs announced 2 penalties on the KC defense.    Absolutely inexcusable.   We then had to waste another timeout late in the 4Q, as Lefty was yelling to the bench for a play.  

At some point during this game, doesn’t an OC assign someone -- anyone -- to at least attempt to block LB Derrick Johnson ??

Judging from the slop and ineptitude, it almost seemed like Haley wanted to avoid running up the score against his former employer.    D


KC came into this game with the most TOs in NFL, 29.    They were missing starting WR Steve Breaston, who did not dress.  KC hadn’t led in regulation, AT ALL, the entire season….and then Dick allows a 4-play, 70 yard TD march to give KC the lead at 8:37 1Q.   Funny how Dick is so often the tonic to cure whatever ails an offense.

3d & 6, 7:20 2Q, Moeaki dropped an easy pass that would have gained 8.    Dick’s vaunted defense allowed 82 rushing yards, 1H. 

In the 3Q, Dick stood by helplessly as KC jammed the ball down his throat on a 12-play march, first scoring a TD that was called back on an incredibly ticky-tack, phantom holding call, and then a chippie 33-yard FG was shanked to the right.  Just like that, Dick, the incompetent fuck that he is, dodged not only a give-up of 7 points, but then 3 points as well.   

 KC’s McLuster dropped a routine pass on 3d & 7 at the PIT 46 at 4:00 3Q that would have gained 9 yards.   Once again, Dick is luckier than the man that wins the Powerball Lotto.   To add to Dick’s luck, Breaston was inactivated for this game and Baldwin left the game due to injury early in the 4Q.  Then Dick gets a giftwrapped HORRENDOUS OPI call late in the 4Q on a 3d & 5 grab by Moeaki, which would have given KC a 1st down at the PIT 33 with 28 seconds remaining.   Undaunted, Dick decided to dick the dog some more, and on the ensuing 4th and 15 to win the game, Dick allows a 27-yard completion to Bowe (the only starting receiver on the field) to set up a very makeable 46-yard FG that tied the game at the end regulation.   If assfucker LeBeau simply allows the first down yardage, KC has to attempt a 57-yard FG.  But no, not Dick.    What an over-rated pile o’ shit.    D-


Momlin was faced with a 4th & 2 feet in the 3Q, and took about 19 seconds to decide to go for it.  By the time the play got called and the offense came to the LOS, there were only 6 seconds on the playclock and the play got blown up by an unblocked ILB that simply crashed into the backfield at the snap of the ball.   Tentativeness gets people killed.  

On 2nd down at 2:32 4Q, with the Steelers clinging to a flimsy 3-point lead, Momlin actually called a TO from the sideline to stop the clock, rather than simply allowing a veteran QB to run a routine plunge.  Then, 2 plays later, Momlin refused to challenge the spot on Dwyer’s 3d & 1 plunge.   KC had zero timeouts and a 1st down here literally WINS the game.  You have nothing to lose and EVERYTHING to gain with this kind of challenge, yet Momlin failed to do so.  Dwyer was stopped at 2:25 4Q, and per NFL rules, “Time between plays will be 40 seconds from the end of a given play until the snap of the ball for the next play, or a 25-second interval after certain administrative stoppages and game delays.”   Momlin could have come back after the 2MW and challenged the spot.   Again, you have nothing to lose, as the clock is already STOPPED with the 2MW and the charged timeout (for a denied challenge) is entirely meaningless.  

The overall failure to have his team focused and ready to hunt bear was unacceptable.   Playing down to a lowly team is something Tomlin seems compelled to do at every opportunity, his bullshit rationale and clever coach-speak be damned.    D

Synopsis:  A slop of a win, at home no less, against an atrocious 1-7 team.    Simply pitiful.   Adding salt to the wound is the injury to Ben, and the obvious ineffectiveness of Leftwich.   Aside from driving the beer cart around at practice, what exactly has Leftwich been doing to prepare for QB work ??   Next week’s tilt versus Balt could be ugly, unless this collective staff and players pulls heads from buttocks. 


(Still Mill and -- when it comes to the analysis of the Pittsburgh Stillers, no one else comes close….)

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