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- oldschoolhunkie
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Pretty good Bouchette column
by oldschoolhunkie » Thu Dec 03, 2009 2:53 pm
Now that he can share his opinions on the Plus blog rather than being a straight reporter, you might be surprised how many of his thoughts are similar to many of ours.
***
We’re going to play a different version of our normal game, You Are Mike Tomlin. I’m turning it into I Am Mike Tomlin.
Some of these moves I make will be exaggerated and some fanciful, but I like them anyway.
If I Am Mike Tomlin, and I want to unleash hell on Sunday, I would:
--- Run the ball against the Oakland Raiders Sunday. Not 60 percent of the time, not 75 percent of the time, ALL of the time. Every play I’d run it. Inside, outside, all around the town. With Rashard Mendenhall, with Willie Parker, with Mewelde More and Carey Davis. I’d bring Dennis Dixon and maybe even Blitzer in to run it and I’d give David Johnson a couple of carries to go with his two for the season. I’d use the wildcat, the bobcat, and the Siamese cat if I had to. And then, at the end of it all, I’d have Ben Roethlisberger run it – taking a knee in a victory formation after the Steelers win 24-3.
--- The Raiders have the 31st defense against the run. I’m not going to try to outsmart their coaches by doing something they do not expect me to do, like pass it 50 times. I’m going to resist the temptation and not do what I did against one of the NFL’s worst run defenses in Denver in 2007, and try to show them how smart I am by ditching the run – boy, that caught those Broncos off guard back then.
--- Put Ziggy Hood on the kickoff coverage team. I want him rumbling down under kicks the way Orpheus Roye did back in 1996 and 1997. I want him putting the fear of god into someone who has to try to block him. I want to let everyone know that I am REALLY serious about this thing, so much so I’m willing to risk my No. 1 pick to do it.
--- Put Mike Wallace on kickoff returns. I’ve seen enough of Stefan Logan hesitating as he tries to return a kick. Yes, Logan has a better kickoff return average than we’ve had around here in awhile, but then Najeh Davenport and Gary Russell were my lumbering top kickoff return guys. I’m not looking for above average, remember, I’m looking for the ceiling.
--- William Gay would return to being my nickel back and I’d start rookie Keenan Lewis at left cornerback. I know, I know, I’ve been reluctant to use rookies much, especially as starters. I held Lawrence Timmons, my first draft pick as a coach, from starting until this season. I refused to start LaMarr Woodley as a rookie despite his superiority over Clark Haggans. Mike Wallace is only playing as much as a rookie this season because, well, because of Limas Sweed. But, damn it, the season is on the line here and I just put my neck out by promising to unleash heck and I have seen enough of William Gay become the second-leading tackler on my team because they keep completing passes his way and he makes all the tackles.
--- Daniel Sepulveda, you are my new kickoff man. I want more out of you than a 38.4-yard net average per punt (cripes, man, you’re making me look bad. I used draft picks in the fourth and sixth rounds to get you and you cannot even average 40 yards net?). You have a strong leg, I know you can tackle and we need all the help tackling on that kickoff coverage that we can get. So, kick it, Daniel my brother, kick it.
--- Rashard Mendenhall, over here, Rashard. You are a running back, you are young, we pay you a lot of money as our first-round draft pick. You will now have more duties. Besides starting, you are now staying in the game on third downs. I know you can block, and I love the way you run in the open field. You also are my best receiver of the backs. It all makes too much sense, so much so I do not know why I waited until the 12th game of the season to make this move. (Of course, on Sunday, we won’t need you to catch the ball. I don’t know if you’ve seen the game plan yet, but we’re running it on every down.) If you get tired, just raise your hand and we’ll give you a blow. But, hell, man, Franco Harris did it. Chuck Noll never took him out of the game. If he had taken him out of games on third downs, there never would have been an Immaculate Reception!
--- Mewelde and Willie, listen up. We’re going to do something radical that will change the landscape of offenses in football. We are going to team one of you up with Rashard and we’re going to line you up in the same backfield. Imagine, two running backs in the backfield. This will revolutionize pro football. The defense will not know who is going to get the ball. We used it once this season and Mewelde gained 12 yards. It worked so well that we haven’t used it again because the defenses will be on to us from now on since it was so successful once. But, hey, I promised to unleash hell and daggone it that’s what I’m going to do.
--- Matt Spaeth, I’m sorry to inform you that we will make you inactive for this game, and probably a few more after that. We won’t throw against the Raiders and your blocking is, well, you are 7 feet tall and it’s not your fault. And, since we do not take advantage any more of your height as a receiver – my offensive coordinator is on record saying height is overrated in a receiver – then there really is no purpose to have you in our offense. We will, instead, activate another offensive lineman to serve that role. Unless, of course, you can cover kicks; can you do that Matt?
--- Santonio Holmes. I know you get a little excited when you catch an 8-yard slant over the middle, but can you stop it already with all the celebrations and the he-man stuff. Act like you’ve been there before. I will make an exception when you score a touchdown. After all, you only have two of those so I would welcome more celebrations from you there. Just don’t do the LeBron thing again. Man, that could have cost us a Super Bowl victory.
--- Heath Miller. I do love the way you block. But from now on I’m turning you into a pass-catching dynamo. Whenever it’s third-and-four, we’re going to you. I don’t think anyone can cover you. You will continue to have a role in my blocking scheme and I’m going to have you line up in the backfield on third downs because . . . that is my next point.
--- I’m tired of seeing my quarterback hit the ground so often. He’s been sacked more than any quarterback in the league over the past four seasons and I am going to change that. For that reason and many others, the empty set is now erased from our playbook. There will always be someone in the backfield and when my quarterback goes into the shotgun formation, I’m going back to our style of three or four years ago when we would line up Heath Miller on one side of Ben and our third-down back on the other. Of course, not this Sunday because I don’t know if you’ve heard or not, but I am going to order runs on every down against the Raiders.
--- And tell me again why I let Bryant McFadden get away?
***
We’re going to play a different version of our normal game, You Are Mike Tomlin. I’m turning it into I Am Mike Tomlin.
Some of these moves I make will be exaggerated and some fanciful, but I like them anyway.
If I Am Mike Tomlin, and I want to unleash hell on Sunday, I would:
--- Run the ball against the Oakland Raiders Sunday. Not 60 percent of the time, not 75 percent of the time, ALL of the time. Every play I’d run it. Inside, outside, all around the town. With Rashard Mendenhall, with Willie Parker, with Mewelde More and Carey Davis. I’d bring Dennis Dixon and maybe even Blitzer in to run it and I’d give David Johnson a couple of carries to go with his two for the season. I’d use the wildcat, the bobcat, and the Siamese cat if I had to. And then, at the end of it all, I’d have Ben Roethlisberger run it – taking a knee in a victory formation after the Steelers win 24-3.
--- The Raiders have the 31st defense against the run. I’m not going to try to outsmart their coaches by doing something they do not expect me to do, like pass it 50 times. I’m going to resist the temptation and not do what I did against one of the NFL’s worst run defenses in Denver in 2007, and try to show them how smart I am by ditching the run – boy, that caught those Broncos off guard back then.
--- Put Ziggy Hood on the kickoff coverage team. I want him rumbling down under kicks the way Orpheus Roye did back in 1996 and 1997. I want him putting the fear of god into someone who has to try to block him. I want to let everyone know that I am REALLY serious about this thing, so much so I’m willing to risk my No. 1 pick to do it.
--- Put Mike Wallace on kickoff returns. I’ve seen enough of Stefan Logan hesitating as he tries to return a kick. Yes, Logan has a better kickoff return average than we’ve had around here in awhile, but then Najeh Davenport and Gary Russell were my lumbering top kickoff return guys. I’m not looking for above average, remember, I’m looking for the ceiling.
--- William Gay would return to being my nickel back and I’d start rookie Keenan Lewis at left cornerback. I know, I know, I’ve been reluctant to use rookies much, especially as starters. I held Lawrence Timmons, my first draft pick as a coach, from starting until this season. I refused to start LaMarr Woodley as a rookie despite his superiority over Clark Haggans. Mike Wallace is only playing as much as a rookie this season because, well, because of Limas Sweed. But, damn it, the season is on the line here and I just put my neck out by promising to unleash heck and I have seen enough of William Gay become the second-leading tackler on my team because they keep completing passes his way and he makes all the tackles.
--- Daniel Sepulveda, you are my new kickoff man. I want more out of you than a 38.4-yard net average per punt (cripes, man, you’re making me look bad. I used draft picks in the fourth and sixth rounds to get you and you cannot even average 40 yards net?). You have a strong leg, I know you can tackle and we need all the help tackling on that kickoff coverage that we can get. So, kick it, Daniel my brother, kick it.
--- Rashard Mendenhall, over here, Rashard. You are a running back, you are young, we pay you a lot of money as our first-round draft pick. You will now have more duties. Besides starting, you are now staying in the game on third downs. I know you can block, and I love the way you run in the open field. You also are my best receiver of the backs. It all makes too much sense, so much so I do not know why I waited until the 12th game of the season to make this move. (Of course, on Sunday, we won’t need you to catch the ball. I don’t know if you’ve seen the game plan yet, but we’re running it on every down.) If you get tired, just raise your hand and we’ll give you a blow. But, hell, man, Franco Harris did it. Chuck Noll never took him out of the game. If he had taken him out of games on third downs, there never would have been an Immaculate Reception!
--- Mewelde and Willie, listen up. We’re going to do something radical that will change the landscape of offenses in football. We are going to team one of you up with Rashard and we’re going to line you up in the same backfield. Imagine, two running backs in the backfield. This will revolutionize pro football. The defense will not know who is going to get the ball. We used it once this season and Mewelde gained 12 yards. It worked so well that we haven’t used it again because the defenses will be on to us from now on since it was so successful once. But, hey, I promised to unleash hell and daggone it that’s what I’m going to do.
--- Matt Spaeth, I’m sorry to inform you that we will make you inactive for this game, and probably a few more after that. We won’t throw against the Raiders and your blocking is, well, you are 7 feet tall and it’s not your fault. And, since we do not take advantage any more of your height as a receiver – my offensive coordinator is on record saying height is overrated in a receiver – then there really is no purpose to have you in our offense. We will, instead, activate another offensive lineman to serve that role. Unless, of course, you can cover kicks; can you do that Matt?
--- Santonio Holmes. I know you get a little excited when you catch an 8-yard slant over the middle, but can you stop it already with all the celebrations and the he-man stuff. Act like you’ve been there before. I will make an exception when you score a touchdown. After all, you only have two of those so I would welcome more celebrations from you there. Just don’t do the LeBron thing again. Man, that could have cost us a Super Bowl victory.
--- Heath Miller. I do love the way you block. But from now on I’m turning you into a pass-catching dynamo. Whenever it’s third-and-four, we’re going to you. I don’t think anyone can cover you. You will continue to have a role in my blocking scheme and I’m going to have you line up in the backfield on third downs because . . . that is my next point.
--- I’m tired of seeing my quarterback hit the ground so often. He’s been sacked more than any quarterback in the league over the past four seasons and I am going to change that. For that reason and many others, the empty set is now erased from our playbook. There will always be someone in the backfield and when my quarterback goes into the shotgun formation, I’m going back to our style of three or four years ago when we would line up Heath Miller on one side of Ben and our third-down back on the other. Of course, not this Sunday because I don’t know if you’ve heard or not, but I am going to order runs on every down against the Raiders.
--- And tell me again why I let Bryant McFadden get away?
- SoCal Stiller
- Grizzled Veteran
- Posts: 739
- Joined: Tue Oct 27, 2009 1:20 pm
Re: Pretty good Bouchette column
by SoCal Stiller » Thu Dec 03, 2009 3:50 pm
That was surprisingly good, although I can't stand his chats. One thing he missed was removing Farrior on all 3rd and 4th down plays, minimum.
P.S. Why the hell can't he be more direct in his columns? Must be his editor?
P.S. Why the hell can't he be more direct in his columns? Must be his editor?
Re: Pretty good Bouchette column
by smheart78 » Thu Dec 03, 2009 5:53 pm
Nice column, certainly addresses many of our issues. But this could have been posted a month ago. We needed real effective change a month ago!! Why are they still tinkering with the same problems?!
When you have a championship caliber team (which I still truly believe the Steelers are), you put it all out there in order to get to the playoffs and win. I can understand why most teams (read 28) are satisfied with simply tinkering around with personel and schemes to build upon being competitive; but when you have a team that you know can win the SB, put it all out there as Bouchette suggests. To me, subtle nuances in scheme indicates an overall acceptence to the level of play, and suggests that only just minor adjustments are necessary. This is not true! As anyone can see all season (from our stalled offense, to the many late game defensive let-downs, to our shameful special teams) we need absolute change!! And to reiterate, we have a proven great team.
When you have a championship caliber team (which I still truly believe the Steelers are), you put it all out there in order to get to the playoffs and win. I can understand why most teams (read 28) are satisfied with simply tinkering around with personel and schemes to build upon being competitive; but when you have a team that you know can win the SB, put it all out there as Bouchette suggests. To me, subtle nuances in scheme indicates an overall acceptence to the level of play, and suggests that only just minor adjustments are necessary. This is not true! As anyone can see all season (from our stalled offense, to the many late game defensive let-downs, to our shameful special teams) we need absolute change!! And to reiterate, we have a proven great team.
- oldschoolhunkie
- Seasoned Veteran
- Posts: 179
- Joined: Sun Jan 11, 2009 10:57 pm
Re: Pretty good Bouchette column
by oldschoolhunkie » Thu Dec 03, 2009 6:56 pm
SoCal, Bouchette is not a PG columnist. a beat reporter like him or Dejan K who does the Bucs or fittipaldi, who covers Pitt, is not supposed to offer an opinion. they are supposed to report the news. columnists like ron cook express opinions Now that Bouchette has the Plus biog, he has a forum for expressing his opinions. I definitely do not agree with everything he says or does but I don't think it's fair to say he is out to lunch or whatever. I agree that the chats are useless.
- SoCal Stiller
- Grizzled Veteran
- Posts: 739
- Joined: Tue Oct 27, 2009 1:20 pm
Re: Pretty good Bouchette column
by SoCal Stiller » Thu Dec 03, 2009 8:05 pm
oldschoolhunkie wrote:SoCal, Bouchette is not a PG columnist. a beat reporter like him or Dejan K who does the Bucs or fittipaldi, who covers Pitt, is not supposed to offer an opinion. they are supposed to report the news. columnists like ron cook express opinions Now that Bouchette has the Plus biog, he has a forum for expressing his opinions. I definitely do not agree with everything he says or does but I don't think it's fair to say he is out to lunch or whatever. I agree that the chats are useless.
Thanks. I'm a little outta touch being out here on the left coast. My mistake.
- oldschoolhunkie
- Seasoned Veteran
- Posts: 179
- Joined: Sun Jan 11, 2009 10:57 pm
Re: Pretty good Bouchette column
by oldschoolhunkie » Thu Dec 03, 2009 11:36 pm
No biggie, man. Lots of people don't understand. I worked at newspapers for years and within a shop this distinction is understood and adhered to.
Re: Pretty good Bouchette column
by PGHeaven » Thu Dec 03, 2009 11:46 pm
Far Fucking Out Man! Way to deliver Ed!
Now let's see what he can do with a defensive blog!
Now let's see what he can do with a defensive blog!
- StillViews
- Practice Squad
- Posts: 22
- Joined: Wed Dec 24, 2008 12:29 am
Re: Pretty good Bouchette column
by StillViews » Fri Dec 04, 2009 9:49 am
I may have to subscribe to PG Plus. Nice to see that Bouchette has it in him. He certainly doesn't get into anything remotely critical in his normal writing or chat sessions.
- r1stillerman
- Practice Squad
-
- Posts: 49
- Joined: Sat Nov 22, 2008 12:30 am
Re: Pretty good Bouchette column
by r1stillerman » Fri Dec 04, 2009 10:19 am
Wow isn't this the what we all know. I am new fan of Ed Bouchette.
- SoCal Stiller
- Grizzled Veteran
- Posts: 739
- Joined: Tue Oct 27, 2009 1:20 pm
Re: Pretty good Bouchette column
by SoCal Stiller » Fri Dec 04, 2009 10:20 am
Oldschool - maybe you could just post the columns worth reading here so we all don't have to subscibe. 
- oldschoolhunkie
- Seasoned Veteran
- Posts: 179
- Joined: Sun Jan 11, 2009 10:57 pm
Re: Pretty good Bouchette column
by oldschoolhunkie » Fri Dec 04, 2009 3:32 pm
Honestly, I think you all should subscribe. This industry is in deep trouble, man. I know I owuld miss the PG is it was gone and I know the whole region would. Support it!
Re: Pretty good Bouchette column
by m1k3 » Fri Dec 04, 2009 4:15 pm
oldschoolhunkie wrote:--- Mewelde and Willie, listen up. We’re going to do something radical that will change the landscape of offenses in football. We are going to team one of you up with Rashard and we’re going to line you up in the same backfield. Imagine, two running backs in the backfield. This will revolutionize pro football. The defense will not know who is going to get the ball. We used it once this season and Mewelde gained 12 yards. It worked so well that we haven’t used it again because the defenses will be on to us from now on since it was so successful once. But, hey, I promised to unleash hell and daggone it that’s what I’m going to do.
I've been calling for this one for a while now. I'm not saying it'd definitely work, but I'd love to see how a blitzing team would react to something like this.
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