View topic - Half Time at Steelers vs. Lions

[IC Light Profile]

This is what took place Sunday in the Steeler's locker room.

Mike Tomlin: "It is what it is."

Bruce Arians: "Wow, that was a great game we played and it was due to my brilliant offensive strategy, we won by 21 points."

Mike Tomlin: "It is what it is."

Dick Lebeau: "ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ"

Bruce Arians: "Dick wake up!"

Dick Lebeau: "Uh what, where am I? Did I sleep through lunch again?"

Mike Tomlin: "It is what it is."

Bruce Arians: "Dick, we won by 21 points. We should celebrate let's have a glass of prune juice."

Mike Tomlin: "It is what it is."

Dick Lebeau: "Prune juice gives me the runs plus standing up and sleeping during the game gave me cramps. I'm gonna take a couple of Midols and take a nap."

Mike Tomlin: "It is what it is."

Larry Z.: "Hey, look at this nude pic of this hot cheerleader, I think I’ll email it to Mrs. Rooney, ummm, never mind, I think its a pic of Carson Palmer or Tom Brady? Oh, by the way Bruce it's only half-time we still have 30 minutes left to play."

Mike Tomlin: "It is what it is."

Bruce Arians: "Let me devise another genius offensive strategy for the second half? What did we do in the first half, run or pass, ahh hell, I forget, I give up, ennie meanie minnie moe i think we'll pass this half. Hey, that almost rhymes, pretty cool, huh."

Mike Tomlin: "It is what it is."

Dick Lebeau: "ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ"

Bruce Arians: "Ok, here is the offensive strategy this half. We need to score quick and fast because we are only up 21 points we can't let anytime run off the clock, we need to get the ball and give it right back to the other team. By the way who are we playing anyway? Never mind, it doesn't really matter. Everybody go deep, Ben will throw the ball to anyone out there even a defensive back even if he is open or not. If the other team manages to score and make it close, I doubt if they will due do the defensive coaching genius we have here, we'll adjust without making any changes."

Dick Lebeau: "ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ"

Bruce Arians: "Dick, Dick are you with me on this?"

Dick Lebeau: "Uh What, where are my Depends I need to change."

Mike Tomlin: "It is what it is."

Bruce Arians: "Anyway back to offense, if the score does get close, we'll outsmart them, instead of passing the ball, we'll wait till they put 9 in the box and then we give Willie the ball and let him run up the middle they'll never expect that and just to outsmart them we'll do it the very next play because they won't be expecting that same play again. And then on 3rd down everybody go deep so Ben can hold onto the ball long enough to get sacked."

Bruce Arians: "Dick any thoughts on defense."

Dick Lebeau:"Yeah, I was up late last till 8 PM watching Lawrence Welk reruns on PBS so I'm kind of tired, so let's take it easy the second half, let the secondary backs play 20 yards off the LOS instead of the usual 10, that's 30 feet less they have to walk and the sooner the other teams scores the sooner they can get back to the bench and I can take a real quick snooze while the offense is on and off the field in 30 seconds executing that really offensive strategy, and my vagina hurts like hell."

Mike Tomlin: "It is what it is."

Larry Z: "Coach Tomlin your thoughts on the second half?"

Mike Tomlin: "ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ"

Larry Z: "Dick, DICK!!!! any more comments before we head out onto the field?"

Dick Lebeau: "ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ"

Larry Z: "Bruce, BRUCE!!!!, any thoughts before we take the field? Oh, I shouldn't of used thoughts as a plural. My bad."

Bruce Arians: "ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ"

Larry Z: "Hey, where are the equipment managers we need to get the inflatable coaching staff dolls on the sidelines?"

Equipment Mgr. 1: "Damnit someone put a hole in the inflatable Bruce doll........Ben....Ben....what the hell did you do that for?"

Equipment Mgr 2: "Don't worry, at least it wasn't Charlie Batch, we might need him this half."

[lloydgreene Profile]

Completely hilarious. Team's play is worthy of criticism. A bit harsh, but completely hi-freakin-larious!

[frankensmith91 Profile]

you forgot the part where arians says

"if we give the ball to rashard mendenhall about 6-7 more times, he'll lead the NFL in rushing yards for 2 weeks in a row.. we can't be having that now can we? If this kid gets too many yards, he'll be the starter over willie and will ruin my strategy of always starting off with 2nd and 12"

[SteelPower Profile]

For the caliber of play thus far this year it is funny because there is ring of truth to it. Great post IC

[SteelCityFan Profile]

awesome! Spot on!

[Uhh Profile]

It is what it is.

I hate when people say that. Five whole words dedicated to imparting zero information. Thanks for the protip, Tomlin.

[rick723 Profile]

It is what it is.

I hate when people say that. Five whole words dedicated to imparting zero information. Thanks for the protip, Tomlin.

Well it really,
Is what it is
I did it in 4