Stillers.com Finds Written Plan for Containing Gildon!
The crack staff of Stillers.com, while
surreptitiously rummaging around the visiting locker room of Heinz Field this
week, found hand-written plans of an opponent's strategy to contain Big Jason
GilDong.� As you know, you cannot stop
Jason Gildon -- all's you can do is HOPE to slow him down.� With that, opponents are -- as has been
reported by the local media such as the PG and Trib Review -- going to great
lengths to contain Jason GilDong.� For
weeks, the media has been feeding Steeler fans unrelenting reports about how
Big Jason has been double, triple, even quadruple teamed by opposing teams that
have quivered at the very thought of facing the menacing chair-waver.�
We here at Stillers.com were cynical that
such a plan existed�but our new findings show otherwise.� Here's the diagram that we found on a balled
up piece of paper that had fallen behind a commode:
�
�
Note the incredible lengths that this opponent took
to stave off the Russian horde known as Jason Gildon.� The TE is set next to the RT, so that this offense can
immediately have two blockers initially trying to slow down Big Jason.� But it goes further than that -- much
further.� The opponent lines up a WB --
probably a backup TE or FB -- just outside the TE, and he is assigned to also block
Big Jason.� Not to take any chances,
this opponent has lined up both running backs -- the FB and the RB -- to the
right of this formation.� The FB is
lined up just behind the TE, and can give immediate support should the TE and
WB falter against Jason's wicked, hurricane-like outside rush.� The RB is lined up behind the tackle, and
can provide support to help stave off Jason's stampeding bull rush.� Not satisfied that 5 (five) blockers can
handle Big Jason, this coordinator has his left guard pulling over to help
provide assistance.� Finally, just to
provide as much help as possible, this offense has its lone WR lined up tight,
and he then chip-blocks Jason as soon as the ball is snapped, and then runs a
short pattern.� The pattern is
presumably short, because, with Jason breathing heat and fire down on a QB,
there simply isn't much time for the QB to throw a pattern much longer than
about 8 yards downfield.� Speaking of
the QB, this opponent even shifted its QB.�
As you'll notice, the QB is not directly in line with the center, but
rather is in a shotgun formation behind the left guard.� The center has to snap the ball at an angle,
and presumably, this will give the QB an extra bit of time to get the pass off
before Big Jason crashes through the RT, the TE, the WR, the WB, the FB, the
RB, and the pulling LG.��
Having watched the tape of every game in excruciating
detail, we didn't believe the continuous claims by the Post Gazette and Trib
Review, along with the GilDong Apologists Association, that Jason was being
ganged upon.� However, this found
evidence shows the extreme lengths opposing OCs are taking to slow down the
ferocity of Big Jason.� Perhaps the
Ravens will employ this scheme, or something similar, this Sunday�?� Be sure to focus on this, because if
Baltimore is somehow able to contain and slow down the bruising pro bowler,
Jason GilDong, with the use of 4, 5, or even 6 men, then the Ravens might be
able to move the ball effectively.�