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Blowhard Billy Serves as Carolina Hornblower

May 28, 2009 by Still Mill

Hornblower Billy

Blowhard Billy Serves as Carolina Hornblower

 

 

I can�t even make this kind of material up.

 

In a fit of bizarre irony, Billy Cowher served as the �designated hornblower� the other night in Raleigh, cheering on the Carolina Hurricanes as they got whipped by the Pittsburgh Penguins.

 

As if Cowhard, aka �The Mailman�, hadn�t alienated his hometown of PITTSBURGH enough by mailing it in after Sup Bowl 40, he then pours salt into the wound by making himself not only play the role of blowhard buffoon (a role he�s quite familiar with), but also judasing his hometown by rooting for the lowly �Canes.��

 

It is only fitting that Cowhard served as a designated hornblower.After all, no coach in Pittsburgh sports history tooted and blew his own horn more often, or more vociferously, than Billy Cowher.

 

Just look at the absurd picture of Little Billy playing with his horn.�� Looks like a dumbassed fool who darted off the short bus and is still be searched for by his parents.��

 

Remember, it was Billy Cowher, still under contract, who, in March 1998, threatened to leave the Steelers and go to Cleveland, a city that did not yet have a current football team.�� This occurred less than 2 months after ANOTHER AFCC choke-job, his 2nd of 4 AFCC home chokes.�� Imagine, having the gaul, 7 weeks after a horrific choke job, to not only demand a new contract, but then also threaten to go to your bitterest rival, a city that did not even have a football team.That was Billy �The Blowhard� Cowher, and no one blew his own horn louder or harder than Billy.

 

Billy �retired� after the miserable �06 season, in which he mailed it in and then put in all the effort of a sloth as his team grossly underachieved and missed the playoffs.He didn�t really retire; rather, he wanted to sit out and look for a better opportunity.So along comes Mike Tomlin, a 34-year old who�d never been a head coach at any level, and Tomlin takes virtually the same group of player Cowhard flopped with in �06 to the playoffs in �07.In �08, Tomlin won a Super Bowl, something it took Billy well over a decade to accomplish.��

 

It�s well known that the Stillers won Sup Bowl 40 in spite of Billy cowher, not because of him.

 

The ironies of Billy�s hornblower chores are nearly endless.Cowhard, the grande� loser of home conference title games, goes Judas and roots for the �Canes, who lose the Prince of Wales Conference title at home, in front of Cowhard, to a Pittsburgh hockey team.�� Up yours, Billy!!

 

If you want more good laughs out of Cowhard making a fool of himself, read Kissing Suzy Kolber�s (KSK) blog about this hilarity.�� Says KSK, and I quote:

 

�� Here�s the thing: Because Chinny up there was coach of the Stillers for 14 years, that�s a long stretch of being forced to apologize for his inveterate conference title choking and his Jon Scheyer-esque propensity for making stupid faces in photographs. And now, because he went and did this (Yes, there�s betrayal involved - it�d be one thing if he coached the Panthers, but the fact that he bought a home in Cackalacky and went to NC State back in the day doesn�t trump his connection to Pittsburgh sports, and, besides, having him do it is an obviously ploy by the Hurricanes to stick it to Pittsburgh fans), I am freed to mock him without compunction for looking like he�s about to about to hulk out out of his stupid red shirt and have his big chiclet teeth ravage downtown Raleigh.

 

 So when KOGOD says in the photo he looks like he�s taking George Clooney�s Burn After Reading sybian chair for a spin, I can laugh without qualm. And laugh I shall YOU BIG RETARDED CHOKING KORDELL DEEP THROATING CHINNY ASSBAG!���

 

That about sums it up!!�� Perhaps next season, instead of cranking and blowing the horn for Hurricanes games, Billy will take the horn and shove it up his ass.That would be most appropriate. It maybe even induce some badly-needed oxygen to his brain.Good riddance, Billy.�� Don�t come back to Pittsburgh, as we don�t need losers and judases like you in our fine city, ya blowhard!

 

 

Still Mill and Stillers.com -- �When it comes to the analysis of the Pittsburgh Stillers, no one else comes close�.�

 

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