Stillers-Titans Postgame Analysis and Grades

Titans 31, Stillers 14 ���. Dec. 21, 2008 ����Game #15

 

Stillers-Titans Postgame Analysis and Grades

 

The Stillers scrapped with the injury-riddled Bitans at LP Field, and enjoyed a 14-10 lead midway through the 3Q.� Then the roof caved in, with the Titans seizing control on both sides of the ball, en route to a 31-14 assbeating that should leave the Stillers humbled and embarrassed.� There would be no late, come from behind drive to rescue the Stillers on this day, as the bumbling, inept Stiller offense could do nothing in the 4th quarter and the defense was thoroughly outclassed and outplayed by the Bitan offense.

 

Grades:

 

QB:� Spike Roethlisberger had 1 of the very worst games of his entire career, getting stripped more often than a Vegas showgirl, playing tentative back in the pocket and needlessly taking sacks, and again needlessly spiking the ball like a complete buffoon.� �

 

The bullshit tentativeness and ball-fondling started on the game�s 1st series, when Spike, on a designed 3-step drop, held the ball incessantly and then was sacked.� He held the ball forever in the 2Q and was stripped for a key turnover.� At 5:00 3Q, he held the ball to long and was hit as he threw.� Soon later, he was tentative and threw the ball late over the middle, which resulted in a key INT.�

 

The carelessness with the football was utterly inexcusable for a veteran with his experience in the NFL.� He foolishly held the ball with only 1 hand on his attempted run to the goal line, and the hard hit popped the ball loose.� Twice in the 2H, he was stripped while carelessly holding the ball in the pocket, and only his linemen�s recoveries saved him from further damaging turnovers.�

 

The late INT was a poor overthrow.� This happened all day.� He overthrew an open Holmes off a 1Q scramble that should have been six.� The TD pass to Holmes was a circus catch off a Kordell-like liner that had little loft and was basically overthrown were it not for Holmes� stupendous catch.�

 

Then there was Ben�s newfound love affair with the spike play.� Last week, after an entirely assaholic spike, Benji cooked up some bullshit explanation, which, not surprisingly, the Pittsburgh media bought hook, line, and sinker.� Today, Benji went overboard, spiking the ball more than Karch Karyli in a volleyball match.�� Spike had completed a pass to Moore, who�d gotten OOB for a 1D at the Tenn 26, with 40 seconds remaining.� This deep in Tenn territory, this was an ETERNITY of time remaining on the clock.� With the clock stopped due to Moore getting OOB, the offense had plenty of time to gather itself in the huddle, and call TWO plays, something high school teams do with easy regularity.� Ben then hit Miller in the middle for a 7 yard gain, setting up 2nd & 3.� He rushed the offense up to the ball, and then, like a complete jackmule, spiked the ball rather than actually conducting a play that might put points on the board or get the ball near the goal line.�� Hey McFly !!�� You don�t spike the ball after a shorty 7-yard gain, with plenty of time remaining on a SECOND down.�� With the clock at 0:23, SpikeRoth then hit Ward for a whopping 4-yard gain to the 15 (Wad fumbled, but Tonio recovered) for a 1st down. �Again, instead of running a 2nd consecutive play or even using his last timeout, The Mad Spiker went thru all sorts of gyrations and signaling, and then spiked the ball again at 0:04 to stop the clock, even though he had one TIME OUT still remaining.� With all the pissing and farting around against a defense that was on the ropes, the Stillers had to settle for a FG attempt that Reed ended up missing as the half expired.� We�re still not sure which banking institution Spike deposited that final, unused timeout.� �

 

In all, it was an utterly putrid performance, capped off by a weak-assed, gutless tackle attempt on the late INT return by Griffin.���� D

 

RB:� Parker started and had a long, miserable day, rushing 18 times for a paltry 29 yards.� Every time it looked like Park would get untracked -- such as a 12-yard gain -- he would get tossed back for lost yardage on the ensuing run.� To be sure, the blocking sucked, but the effectiveness isn�t there right now at all.�

 

Moore subbed with aplomb, toting the ball 3 times for 28 yards and snaring 2 passes for 20.� He had a great 2nd effort late in the 2Q, bouncing off 2 Bitan defenders and then getting OOB after a catch.� The down note was the weak, utterly gutless tackle attempt on Griffin -- as Griffin was 4 inches from the sideline chalk -- on the late INT return.� I can partially live with, say, a 205 pound QB pussying out on tackling a 260-pound LB on an INT return.� But Moore is every bit as big as Griffin, and this was as sorry and cowardly a play as I�ve seen all season.�

 

At any rate, Moore�s effectiveness absolutely must be considered and it�s high time this vomit-inducing offense try something new, such as starting Moore and using Parker as a sub.�

 

Parker:� C��� Moore: B

 

FB:� No use whatsoever, aside from Davis subbing for Moore on a pass play when Moore was shaken up in the 1H.�� Inc.�

 

WR:� Ward had a big day in the losing effort, grabbing 7 balls for 109 and a clutch 21-yard TD on a seamer in the 3Q, holding on and squirming into the EZ after a big hit.� He�d caught a 21-yarder on the play prior as well.� The lone down note was his foolish fumble late in the 2Q, which chewed some precious seconds.

 

Tonio had his best production in ages, grabbing 5 passes for 93 yards. �He had some strong RAC work, and made a superb TD catch when he laid out and snagged the deepish liner from Spike in the 2Q.�

 

Nate had 3 grabs for 38, and did not drop a pass.� Sweed had 1 ball thrown his way, a deep lob in which he had both hands on a very catchable ball and simply dropped it.� Of course, he blatantly choked and shoved the DB on the play, and was rightfully flagged for OPI.��

 

�� �B+�

 

TE:� Miller had a career high 8 grabs, good for 69 yards.� He had a drop of an easy catch on 2d & 2 at the Tenn 47 late in the 3Q, which would have moved the sticks.� On the next play, Spike�s pass was INT�d.� Miller also once again struggled like a girly bitch with his blocking.� He nearly caused a safety of Parker on a play from the 3-yard line in the 1Q, whiffing miserably and causing a 2-yard loss.� There were other gaffes where leakage was allowed on ground plays.�

 

Not to be outdone, Sean McPugh gave a pussyfied effort on a 2d & goal plunge in which he allowed Thornton to storm right by him and blister Parker.� This was as ballsucking a block as you can make.�� I honestly would use this kind of shit effort to send a message to the team by sending this sorry bastard packing on Monday.� ���B-�

 

OL: With Hayneswortth and Vanden Bosch both sitting out due to injury, it figured that this O-lione would at least have a fighting chance against the Titan defense.� Instead, the O-line had its collective fat asses handed back to themselves in embarrassing fashion.� MaxiPad Starks was a useless as a used tampon, continually getting beaten off the corner on the pass rush and doing little in run blocking.� He had a weak chop block on the 2nd play of the game, which resulted in no gain.� Even with Moore helping, he allowed pressure on Ben�s flush in the 1Q.� He was abused on Spike�s TD pass to Ward.� His only play of merit was a seal block on Moore�s 16-yard TD.�

 

Piss Kemoeatu was a pile of bile in this contest, allowing more leakage on ground plays than a New Orleans levy.� Again, his inability to scrap and brawl in the trenches is reprehensible for a man with his size and brawn.� His pass blocking was spotty all game long.� He pulled an Ole� block on a sack at 2:22 4Q.� He also looked inside and was slow to move on Thornton, who shot through untouched for a stuff of Parker for -3.� He did recover a Spike fumble in the 2H, so his standing around did pay off on that particular play.�

 

Willie The Colon did little, and was also flagged for a false start.� He was shoved aside like a toddler on Spike�s strip and fumble in the 2Q.� Stapleton got wheeled back in absurd fashion on a 1Q sack.� Hartwig was literally forklifted and shoved backwards on a Parker draw play in the 2Q, which lost 3 yards.�

 

��� D+

 

DL:� The supposedly supreme D-line had its backside kicked around all day long by the Bitan O-line.� The LOS was only rarely controlled by the DL, and the pocket push was utterly anemic.�� �Leading the way in gross ineptitude was Fat Casey Hampton, who did absolutely NOTHING the entire afternoon.�� NOTHING.�� Matter of fact, this fat tub o� lard was literally held off the scoresheet, not even getting a simple assist in a game in which the opposing offense plunged the ball between the tackles at least 27 times.�

 

Brett Keisel, �Mr. October�, returned to the lineup and did nothing.�� He finished with a whopping 1 assist.�� Aaron Smith was a quiet as a church mouse, finishing with 2 solos.� I record notes on good and bad plays all game long, and there wasn�t a single noteworthy play made by this crew the entire game.���� D

 

LB:� A really sorry all-around game from this crew.��

 

Leading the way in despicable play was the supposed �Pro Bowler�, Taunto Farrior.� Today�s game was precisely the example of what a farce the Blo Bowl is.� Farrior, the rabid over pursuer, was a complete turd the entire ballgame, and I dare anyone to WATCH the tape of this game and try to claim otherwise.�� Among Taunto�s plethora of boners:�

 

����������� - horrible over-pursuit -- which happened ALL game long -- on Johnson in the 1Q, 8 yard run.

����������� - totally lost in coverage, late 1Q, McCareins 13-yard grab.�

����������� - poor overpursuit of White up RT in 2Q, 6 yards.� ���������

�� �������� - rabid overpursuit of Johnson up LT in 2Q, 11 yards

����������� - Next play, slow and� feeble on Crumpler�s 9-yard reception.

����������� - mauled to a point 8 yards off the LOS on a 3d & 5 draw play early in the 3Q that gained 4.9 yards.��

����������� - Weakassed whiff n� flail on White�s TD run on 1st play of 4Q.

����������� - Weak paw of blocker on Johnson�s 9-yard run, negated by holding by another blocker

����������� - Shoved aside on run blitz, White 11-yard run

����������� - �rabid overpursuit of White on 3d & 3 in 4Q; White gains an easy 8 yards

����������� - White easily rumbled through Taunto�s weakassed tackling attempt, 2:45 4Q.�

 

The Big Taunter made 1 decent play all day, fighting off a blocker on a screen play and making the stop.�� Otherwise, he was a big, stenching pile of manure.�

�

Not wanting to be outdone, Larry Slow-a-Foote had a shitty game as well.� He had a weak whiff n� flail of Crumpler after a short catch, turning 1 yard into 11 in the 2Q.� He had another whiff, this time on the backup TE, Scaife, in the 3Q that turned 3 yards into 9 on 2nd & 5.� It was Foote that was totally fooled and bamboozled on the 4th & 1 quickie-pitch.� How many years has this shitbird been in the NFL ??� His lone decent play was a bustup of a poor pass behind the receiver on a 3d & 3 late in the 3Q.�� When you have a starting ILB -- on a defense that is DESIGNED to funnel tackles to the ILBs -- make a whopping 2 solos all game long, you know he�s a pile o� manure.�

 

Woodley was far too quiet as well.� He never once created harassment or pressure on the QB, and he finished with a weakling 1 solo and 2 assists.�

 

Harrison was dinged up and left the field in the 1Q, but returned to duty.� He played stoutly, but was unable to create any havoc, aside from dropping Collins for a loss in the 3Q. �

 

Timmons showed great speed and forced a TA on the 3rd series of the game.� He also flashed by a pulling guard and drilled Johnson for a 5-yard loss in the 2Q, which was 1 of the very, very few tenacious plays made all game long by the defense.� He gave up the long, 19-1/2 yard completion in the 4Q which set up the fateful 4th & 1 TD run, but blame that on a dumfuk defensive coordinator for putting him out on an island when his best skill set is attacking the passer on a day when the defense desperately needed some pass pressure. �

 

Farior: �D- ����Fooe: �D ����Woodley: �C ���Harrison: ��B+ ����Timmons: �B

 

DB:� The secondary got shredded by Collins all day long and never once came close to picking off a pass, and only rarely punished passcatchers.� ��

 

Leading the way in dereliction and abysmal play was none other than the supposedly great free safety, Ryan Clark, who was a total puddle of puke the entire game.�� Complete, ugly, shitladen pile of vomit.�� Let�s recount Clark�s shitty day:�

 

����������� - He was juked out of his jock and turned around like a top by Gage on a corner-post route, which Gage hauled in for a 34-yard TD.� We constantly are bombarded with bullshit babble from the media about what a great pass defender Clark is.� What a farce.� This was as shitty as you can play this route at the NFL level.�

����������� - On Johnson�s TD run, Clark was in good position to stop the play or force Johnson to cut or stutter, but instead, like a total pussy, he TURNED HIS BACK to the blocker (a FB), and Johnson cruised right by for the easy TD.� We haven�t seen as gutless and cowardly a play since Jason GilDong roamed the gridiron.��

����������� - Soon later, he clumsily stumbled into the receiver in the EZ, which should have been ruled PI on the play where a flag was thrown but then ridiculously picked up

����������� - He then spent most of the 4th quarter on his back -- just like last week -- with Lendale White trucking him over and over again.� Clark talks all sorts of bullshit bravado, but then, when it�s time to put up or shut up, he either fags out and turns his back, or he gets run over like a freight train over a bump.�

 

Ike had a long day as well.� He was abused by Gage on a deep in for 26 yards.� He was later tooled by Gage for 21 yards on 3d & 8 in the 3Q.� On the 4th and 1, Ike ventured into the backfield and had Johnson dead to rights for either a loss or no gain, but like a complete faggott he was as erect and upright as a giraffe in heat, which caused him to slip and fall, allowing Johnson to slash right by and into the EZ.� You need to BREAK DOWN on this kind of play, not stand upright like Herman Munster against a lightning fast, ultra-quick back like Johnson.�� Ike had a good bustup on 3d & 3 late in the 2Q.�

 

Pola had a couple stops in the running game, but was far, far too quiet with a whopping 3 solos and no bustups.�

 

McFadden had a big hit on the 1st series to pop the ball loose, but did little else. �Gay was quiet.�

 

Back-turner Clark:� F����� Ike:�� C-��� Pola:�� C-���� All others:�� B

 

Spec teams:� No huge returns or turnovers, but there were several small boners that added up as the game wore on.��

 

����������� - Moore foolishly failed to FC a punt that landed at the 10 in the 1Q, which was then downed at the 3.�

����������� - Russell had a weak, gimpy, tiptoe KO return in the 2Q, all the way to the 16.��

����������� - Reed, like a complete assgrinder, missed a chippie 33-yard FG as the 1H expired.

����������� - on a 4th & 1 late in the 3Q, the FG block team was called for unsportsmanlike conduct.� Jamie Harrison was the culprit listed in NFL dot, as he presumably was barking out �hike� signals to throw off the snapper.�� Instead of 3 points, the Titans scored 7 2 plays later to pound a nail into the coffin.�

�����������

Madison made a good save of a punt at the GL, which was then downed at the 2.� He also had a good stop in punt cover, while Fox had a good cutdown in KO cover.�

 

C-�

 

OC:� Bruce Arians continued his march into the throes of stupidity and asininity, with a game plan so vanilla and dull it would have made Henry Ford roll in his grave with envy.� With Haynesworth and Vanden Bosch out of the lineup, Arians stupidly went with 1 delay running play after another, with the Titans simply gunning and shooting through open gaps to drop Parker for a loss time and time and time again (6 times total, as I recall).�� Opposing defenses are constantly shooting LBs through open gaps for easy stuff on RBs and harassment on the QB, and Arians, as stupid as stupid can be, has not clue on how to counter and adjust.� It�s a good thing Fat Albert and Vanden were out for this game, lest the Titan defense would have dominated even more.�

 

On goal-to-go sequences, there is no one in the entire league more dull and unimaginative than Bruce Arians, who apparently uses a box of Crayola�s and large sheets of construction paper when he draws up his goal-line plays.�� The Stillers had a golden opportunity to seize early control of the game, with a 1st & goal at the Tenn 4 in the 1Q.� ��Right there, knowing Arians as I do, I immediately predicted 2 line plunges followed by a pass play amidst heavy pressure.�� Sure enough, Arians calls for 2 vanilla plunges into the TEETH of the Titan defense, which lost 1 and then 2 yards.� Jerome Bettis is long retired.� So is Franco Harris.� This is not an offense that is going to pound the ball in from the 4-yard line against a stout defense, so why beat your head against the wall like Arians constantly does ?� Why?� Because he�s a dumfuk, that�s why! ��Arians has no interest in exploiting a defense, or fooling them with play-action or bootlegs.� He loves nothing more than bland, dull, dumbassed vanilla and asking players to do tasks that are not their strong suit.� ��

 

Arians finally went with the NH offense at 10:49 3Q, right after Holmes� 20-yard play.�� It worked quite well, producing a TD drive.� It worked so well that Arians immediately shitcanned it.� ��

 

Then there�s his QB�s love affair with the spike.� I blame a good bit of this on Asshole Arians.� Ben�s spike last week should have been a teaching lesson on exactly when and where you spike the ball to stop the clock.� Instead, no lesson was learned at all, so much so that Shitlesberger spiked it unnecessarily not once, but TWICE.� Great tutelage by Arians! ��Then again, Arians was a shit QB at Va. Tech during his college days, laughed at, jeered, and mocked by every fan in the state of Virginia, so he himself probably has no clue as to when you spike the ball and when you don�t.�

 

The main obstacle to going to the Super Bowl is not the Titans, nor any other opponent in the AFC.� No, the main obstacle is none other than Bruce� �The Assfuk� Arians, who is content with sabotaging the offense and making it as easy as possible for opposing defenses to attack and bottle.��� D-�

 

DC:� So much for the royal deity known as Lick LeBeau.� So much for Dick�s supposedly vaunted defense, which had more balls jammed down its throat today than the actresses in a John Holmes film.� �Johnson gained 69 yards on only 16 carries, while White gained 48 on 15 rushes, much of it in the 4Q when the entire stadium knew Tenn would run the ball, and they did with ease.� So much for Dick�s �confusing� defensive schemes, as Ferry Collins, hardly to be confused with Danny Marino, sliced up Dick�s defense like a Ginzu knife, going 20 of 29 for 216, 1 long TD pass, and ZERO INTs.� The only people Dick�s defense confused today was a roomful of tools from Steelers GayNation and a busful of retards heading to remedial schooling.�

 

Dick had feasted ALL season long, in EVERY game, against offensive squads that were either inept, injury-riddled, or in many cases, BOTH.� �Finally, in week #15, Dick faces a healthy, solid -- although hardly spectacular -- offense, and he imitates the 1-leggged man in an ass-kicking contest, entirely unable to do anything to force the tempo, force turnovers, force mistakes, or make key stops.�

 

The 3rd quarter was the key.� Dick, supposedly the grand chess master of defensive football, was thoroughly tooled after halftime, as his Softee, No Pressure defense was easily solved and chewed up by the Bitans �-- ��

 

����������� - 3rd & 8, Gage WIDE open, 26 yards

����������� - later in same drive, 3d & 20, Dick takes 1 of this best pass rushers, Larry Timmons, and has him dropping into DEEP coverage, and McCareins snagged the deep out for a 19-1/2 yard gain while Collins had all day back in the pocket.�� ���Duh-uh, let�s have Timmons drop into deep coverage and, duh-uh, we�ll rush 4 men against a 5-man O-line so that Collins has all day to easily throw this pass.�

����������� - Late in the 3Q, on a 4th & 3, Tenn got an EASY completion to Gage for 17 yards.��

����������� - 3d & 10, late 3Q, Scaife had a cake-easy reception for 9 yards

����������� - 3d & 3 late 4Q, White sauntered up the gut for an easy 8 yards.

 

The TD drive that put Tenn ahead for good was a long, 11-play march that went 79 yards.� The next TD drive was shorter in length, but another long march in which Dick�s defense could have held Tenn to a punt or a long FG, but instead softly allowed the Bitans to venture deep in PIT territory.�

 

Pass pressure?� None.�� Harassment?� None?�� In your face heat on the QB ?�� None.� Confusion created?� None.�� Overt buffoonery and flaccidness by the defensive coordinator?� Plenty.�

��

We�ll never know why Dick played such a softee, gutless, pussyfied style of defense against a rather pedestrian offense that featured a greybeard QB who is slower than Casey Hampton.�� Newsflash -- the Pro Bowl just notified the NFL.� They were so impressed by Collins� carve-job, in going 20 of 29 with no INTs and no fumbles, that they�ve invited him to the Blo Bowl.�

 

Sure enough, Dick will feast on the hilariously inept Cleveland offense next week, and sure enough you�ll hear more cries about how Dick should be given his very own wing in the Hall of Fame.�� As Tomlin likes to refer to, you measure yourself by how well you fare against a quality foe.�� Quite clearly, Dick measured up with all the length of a chipmunk�s schlong.�� D

 

HC:� Tomlin can start looking in the mirror and blaming himself, as much as anyone, for the loss.�� After last year�s late-season swoon, he has ONCE AGAIN allowed Arians to sabotage this offense all season long.�� Then, he allows Dick to use a softee, passive defense against an ordinary Titan offense, which allows the Bitans to convert one long third down after another.� Tomlin is a defensive coach by trade, and he ought to be stepping in when he sees blatant softness and passivity, but apparently he�s afraid to deal with LeBeau.� Tomlin has been asked about the shit nature of his popgun offense, and he�s smugly and curtly cut off those questions in the name of, �We�re 11-3.��� Well, he�s 11-4 after having his prostrate ravaged and pillaged by the Titans.� Maybe now Momlin will pay more than lip service to fixing a dysfunctional, incoherent, grossly underachieving offense.�� C-

 

Synopsis:� No sense sugar-coating what this was, which was a humbling, well-deserved asswhipping.�� You stop playing midway thru the 3Q in this league, and against a solid foe, you can expect to get your asses handed back.� That�s precisely what happened today.� Warts were exposed, and exposed badly, which had all existed before but were carelessly glossed over in the name of, �Oh, we�re winning�.�

 

The only worthwhile event to happen all afternoon for the Stillers was for White and Bullock to mock a Terrible Towel and rub their cleats on it in the dirt. �This was boorish behavior at its worst.� Last time we saw an idiot opponent do an asshole stunt like this, TJ Houzmanzada was wiping his cleats off in a similar manner after a Cinci win in 2005.� A few weeks later, the Stillers went on the road to Cinci and whipped their asses.� Thank you, Misters White and Bullock, for foolishly helping to draw the ire of the Stillers come playoff time.� One good grudge is worth 1,000 pep talks.��

 

Now the Stillers host their hated rivals, the Clev Brownies, in the season finale that should feature some rest for many players, but a good tune-up nonetheless to prepare for the playoffs.��

 

(Still Mill and Stillers.com -- when it comes to the analysis of the Pittsburgh Stillers, no one else comes close�.)