Stillers-Cowpokes Postgame Analysis and Grades

Stillers 20, Cowpokes 13���. Dec. 7, 2008 ����Game #13��

 

Stillers-Cowpokes Postgame Analysis and Grades

 

The Stillers hosted the 8-4 Crackboys on a chilly, breezy late afternoon at Heinz Field.� The Stillers squandered golden opportunity after golden opportunity throughout the 1H, and went to the locker room tied at 3.� The Cowgirls scored on their opening march to make it 10-3, and the Stillers were stuffed on 3rd & 44th & Goal in the 4Q, down by 10, and with the way the offense was sputtering and stinking, things looked gloomy.� But Ben directed a 67-yard TD march to tie the game, and Townsend picked off a putrid Romo pass and returned it for the winning score, as the Stiller prevailed, 20-13.�

 

Grades:

 

QB:� Ben Roth had a rough, spotty day.�� He was a meager 17 of 33 for 204 yards.� On the bright side, he threw no picks; however, he took more sacks than a garbage collector on trash day.�

 

His mistakes were numerous --

 

����������� - poor misfire to wide open Spaeth on 1st series

����������� - assaholic fumble on a QB sneak in 2Q on Dallas 35, which Dallas recovered

����������� - poor misfire to wide open Ward late in 2Q

����������� - 3 batted passes alone in 1st half, mostly due to asinine, faggot-like SIDEARM throwing

����������� - held ball like a pacifier and was blistered by CB from the NON-blind side for a sack early in 3Q

����������� - Held ball for eternity and took sack on 1st down at 8:09 3Q

����������� - poor flag pass to wide open Holmes in EZ on 3d & 6 in 4Q.� Luckily Dallas was offsides

����������� - 3d & 2, held ball for eternity and was sacked

����������� - sidearm screen pass late 4Q, into helmet of blocker or defender.�

 

He threw 2 good balls all game -- the deep pass to Holmes for 47 yards, and the deep in to Nate that set up the Miller TD.� Benji will have to play much, much, much better than this if the Stillers have any prayer of a deep foray in the playoffs.���� C

 

RB:� Both Parker and Moore found little in the ground game, and when they did, they were immediately ignored.� Park had 12 for 25 and Moore 5 for 22.�� Moore had 4 grabs for 36.�� Russell had a good power run to convert a 3d & 1 early in the 4Q.� Russell had no chance on the 4th & goal plunge, as half the Dallas defense was in the backfield before he could even get to the LOS.������ B-

 

FB: Davis played little.� He did catch a flare pass from the 2 yard line that was stopped well short of the GL.�� Not entirely his fault, as Hamlin made a solid play, but Davis needs to take his route to the GOAL LINE, not the 1-yard line, on that part of the field.����� Inc.�

 

WR:� Holmes and Nate led the way.� Tonio had a weak drop of a low slant in the 1Q, but responded with the deep ball and a superb catch along the sidelines late in the 3Q.��� Nate had key 21 and 16-yard grabs on the TD drive.�

 

Ward had perhaps the absolute quietest day of his career since his rookie season.� He finished with 1 grab -- a bubble screen -- for 2 yards.� In the 4Q, he was WIDE open and dropped a very catchable pass that was a teensy bit behind him.� Very poor.��� Sweed was invisible.��

 

Tonio and Nate:� A-����� Ward: C-���� Sweed:� Inc

 

TE:� Miller had the RAC TD late in the game.� Don�t let the TD erase your memory, of course, as Miller had a nite he�d soon like to forget.� His blocking sucked ass most of the game.� He had a poor block when Moore was dropped for -2 late in the 1Q.� He had a miserable block on Parker�s 1-yard loss on 1st & G at the 10 in the 2Q.� To add salt to the wound, he fumbled like a complete imbecile after a short catch late in the 1Q, which Dallas recovered.�� Spaeth had 1 grab for 6.� He whiffed miserably on the 4th & G plunge, but Colon�s miss kind of made Spaeth�s weak-assed block a non-factor.��� C

 

OL: Not a game to be proud of, but the struggles weren�t all their fault.�� You�ll hear all about the 5 sacks of Ben, but at least 3 of them were the direct result of Ben clutching onto the ball like a baby�s toy, and 1 was off a CB blitz that wasn�t able to be picked up.� The run blocking was sporadic, but then again, the offense rarely ran the ball.��

 

Kemo had some struggles.� He was wheeled back by Ratlif, who then batted a pass in the 2Q.� He was slow off the snap on the sack late in the 3Q.��

 

Willie The Colon made one of the biggest boners of the year, when he clumsily fell onto his face, like a complete assclown, after the snap, which allowed the weakside LB, James, to shoot in unmolested for the stop of Russell for a 2-yard loss on 4th & goal at the 1.� When you see assaholic, junior-varsity, ass-clumsy plays like this, you truly start to wonder if a tool like The Colon is getting paid to throw the game.�����

 

Colon:�� F��� All others:��� C

 

DL:� A spotty game.� The DL walled off Dallas on a 4th & 1 plunge in the 1Q, which was impressive.� After that, they played as though they squat when they urinate, as they did everything they could to throw this game to the Cryboys.� Kirschke was manhandled and completely blown out on Choice�s 12-yard run in the 3Q.� Aaron Smith missed a fairly easy sack around Romo�s legs, and then was assclumsy and pooped out in his pursuit, which allowed Romo about 8 seconds back in the pocket to fire the TD pass to Owens.�

Eason mimicked that whiff with a whiff of his own on a 3d & G play, which was luckily stopped by a coverage sack.� Kirschke had a decent bullrush in the 4Q on a play that Romo just gave up on for a sack.�

 

Fat Casey did next to nothing the entire game.� He was getting slapped around quite a bit, and did very, very little.

 

Probably most disappointing is the overt lack of conditioning I saw from this group, as they were panting and stumbling about.� Getting gashed by a rookie RB making his 1st career start wasn�t too impressive, either.���� C+

 

LB:� Harrison had another strong effort.�� He had his hands full, getting swallowed at times by the LT, Adams. �He fought through it, though.� He blew up the 4th & inches plunge and nailed the RB well short of the sticks.� He made a remarkable hilarious play after a reception by Choice, belting the WR, Williams, directly into Choice, who then toppled over.� Neat way of making a stop!!�� Harrison had his weekly sack n� strip, for a big turnover in the 2Q.� Harry put a big lick on Witten late in the 2Q, which jarred the ball loose, but Witten was ruled down.� Still, a nice lick.��

 

Woodley had a solid game, especially in run support.� He stuffed Choice for 1-yard early in the 4Q.� He missed a sack late in the 4Q.�� He did apply some heat on Tony Homo�s late INT that was INT�d by Town.�

 

Timmons saw some PT.� He whiffed on a 1Q 3d & 6 screen to Witten, which got 7 yards when it should have only gotten 2.�

 

Farrior had another ugly evening.� While Witten was on the field -- and he missed a good chunk of the 2H -- he simply ate Farrior alive.� The turdish play o� the game occurred in the 3Q, when Homo dumped a 3-yard pass to the greenhorned rookie backup RB, Taster�s Choice, in the middle of the field, which ended up gaining 50 yards, the longest play of the game for Dallas.�� This play should serve as the nail-in-coffin evidence as to why Farrior should not have been given his outrageous 5-year extension in August.� Farrior was in short-middle coverage, looking SPECIFICALLY for either a dumpoff or a QB run.� On this play, Farrior was:

 

����������� - slow to read

����������� - slow to react

����������� - slow in pursuit

 

When he finally did catch up to the horizontal-running Choice, Farrior, like a complete stupidfuk, literally shoved Troy Pola into the turf, in turn taking BOTH defenders out of the play, which enabled Choice to rumble another 35 yards for the 50-yard gain.� As weak and putrid a play as you�ll ever see from a starting ILB in the NFL.��

 

Foote had decent pressure on Homo on 3d & 2 in the 2Q.��� Otherwise, he did very little.��

 

Harrison:� A���� Woodley:� B����� Foote:�� C�� Timmons:�� C+����� Farrior:��� D

 

DB:� Pola had a brilliant effort, leading all defenders with 7 solos.� He continually bedeviled the Crackboys by slashing in on run blitzes and nailing the RB for a loss or no gain.�

 

����������� - slash n� drop, 2nd play of game, 2 yards.�� (next play, Pola INT!)�

����������� - backside chasedown of Choice, 1 yard, 3Q.

����������� - slash and stop of Choice, 0, 4Q

����������� - slash in and chop of Choice, -1, which forced the punt that Tonio returned for 35 yards.

 

Ike had a nice pluck for the INT in the 2Q.�� He was flatfooted in the EZ, and given a pinkie hand-check by Owens, on the TD grab.� (This play was nearly identical to the one in SB 30 that Darrell Jackson was flagged for OPI.)�� Overall, though, Ike shut down T.O. quite nicely.� ���

 

Clark had a big hit on Choice on a 1-yard plunge in the 3Q.�� McFadden had a good stop of choice in RAC in the 4Q.�� Town whiffed on Witten in the 4Q, but atoned for it with the INT that was returned for the winning TD.�� Jersey-number wise, there are few bigger shoes to fill in Pittsburgh than that of future Hall of Famer Rod Woodson�s #26, but Townsend has been such a consummate professional during his 10-year career that he would deserve some sort of partially-shared billing if this number were ever retired.

 

Pola:�� A+��� Ike:� A������� Town:�� A���� Others:�� B

 

Spec teams:� So-so.�� Reed had his ugliest game of the year.� Nearly every kick was going right, so much so that you�d wonder if he were running in some Republican ballot.�� He sliced a 45-yard FG in the 1Q to the right.� His 41-yard FG in the 4Q clanged off the right upright before going thru.� He nearly missed a PAT to the right in the 4Q.� He foolishly kicked off OOB, by about 23 feet to the right, after the 41-yard bank-in FG in the 4Q, which gave Dallas golden FP at their 40.�

 

Berger wasn�t far behind, as he punted like pure vomit the entire game.� This turd punted 6 times for a 32-yard average.� Yeah, it was windy.� So what?�� Berger sucks.�

 

Holmes had a weak FC at his own 46 in the 1Q, when he had plenty of room to get at least 5 yards.�� He then failed to FC a deep punt in the 2Q, which was okay -- so long as he got the hell AWAY FROM the ball.�� Instead, like a moron, he lingered about, and nearly had the ball glance off him at the 5-yard line.� He atoned for this in the 2H by fielding a semi-risking bouncing punt and then racing up the chalk behind a good block by Tony Smith for a 35-yard return.�

 

Fox and Bailey had a good stop in KO cover in the 2Q.� Ike led off the game with a good speed stop of Jac Man.� Fox and Frazier had a good stop in KO cover late in the game.� And Gay astutely chopped down the returner at the 18 after Townsend�s TD.�

 

Russell had good 2nd and 3rd effort on his KO return to start the 2H.� Timmons recovered a punt fumble in the 1H.�

 

Jac Man bobbled a punt at around his 6 and a scrum ensued.� Some idiot ref jogged over and immediately signaled Dallas ball, despite having no ability whatsoever to see who exactly had the ball.� It appeared PIT had recovered, and it was 1 of many poor calls and spots that were made all evening long.��������� B-

 

OC:� Arians showed his true colors today for all to see.� He didn�t have a plan AT ALL, and was totally clueless as to how to attack Dallas and how to counter their tactics.� Arians completed a rare NFL accomplishment, when his slow, indecisive nature actually enabled a DOG penalty on the offense on the FIRST play from scrimmage.� You have to be a complete dumbass to get a DOG on the game�s 1st play from scrimmage, and Arians fully qualifies in all regards.�� What a tool.�

 

Here it was, a bitter-cold day with temps of 19 degrees and 7 degrees wind chill, with 15 mpg winds, and Arians, the stupidass that he is, is ordering pass after pass after pass.� This guy has to be the biggest retard in the entire league.�� Arians never allowed the running game to get into synch.�

 

Sure, the ground game had some struggles, but in this kind of weather, you have got to give the ground game a chance and show some persistence.� In the 2H, Arians refused to even allow the running attack to get untracked.�� Parker ripped off a nice 5-yard run on 1st down in the 3Q.� Next play?� Pass, incomplete.� Later, Moore gained 4 yards on 2d down to get a rare 1st down.� Next play?� Why, a pass, which Ben was sacked for -7.�� Soon later, Moore ripped off an 8 yard run.� Next play, on 1st down, Ben gets sacked for an 8-yard loss.�� It goes back to Arians having no identity and no clue as to what power football can do in this kind of weather.� The guy is as clueless as a toddler sitting in a collegiate physics class.��

 

There was other idiocy.�� On 3d & goal at the 6 late in the 1Q, Arians calls for this faggoty, cutesy lil� slant pass to Moore at the FIVE yard line.� The pass was tipped by a lineman, but even if Moore catches it, he somehow has to juke or plow through FOUR defenders to score.�� The 4 & G plunge in the 2H was a joke.� The entire stadium knew it would be going up LG -- Arian�s favorite fetish.� The Stillers have the worst 4D offense in the entire NFL, primarily because Arians refused to mix in motion, different formations, and PLAY-ACTION passing.���

 

Miller finally caught a quick out in a goal-to-go situation, for the late TD.� Hooray !!�� Arians finally figured out that Miller would be WIDE open when the opposing defense throws 10 defenders into the middle of the line!!�

 

We�ll never know why it took Arians until 5:10 of the 4Q to finally go no-huddle.� The offense had stunk and sputtered the entire game, but Arians felt no need to jump-start the sagging offense until the game�s final minutes.� Voila -- 67 plays later, the offense scored its lone TD.� What a tool.��

 

We�ll also never know why Arians called for running plays, with HANDOFFS, when the Stillers offense took over with 51 secs remaining in the game.� Yardage meant nothing here.� No 1st down was required, as Dallas had only 2 TOs.� Yet Arians, the complete buffoon, insisted on handing the ball off � risking a fumble or a strip -- rather than having the QB simply kneel on the ball each play.� Unbelievable.� What a tool.�

 

The biggest obstacle for the Stillers to advance deep into the playoffs isn�t any team in the AFC.� Rather, it�s the team�s own saboteur, Bruce Arians.��� D-

 

DC:� The defense held Dallas to just under 300 yards, and had some turnovers.� Dick�s legions of bandwagon jumpers will exult over this latest game, crowing about holding an offense missing its star RB, on the road in bitter cold weather, to under 300 yards.� Hooray !!�� Dick held a bumbling offense, missing its star RB, to 289 yards.�� Hip hip hooray!!��

 

Dick, who has missed out facing a key star in every game this season, lucked out again when RB Marion Barber did not dress.� Starting in place of Barber was rookie RB Tashard Choice, who ended up riddling and shredding Dick�s defense for 88 yards on the ground and another 78 in the air.� It�s quite a good thing that Barber, one of the premier all-around backs in the entire league, sat this one out.�� Otherwise, given what the greenhorn Choice did in his very first NFL start, Barber would have likely padded his stats like a star RB facing a weak-sister 1-AA team in college ball.���

 

The Dallas drive late in the 1H was started and ignited by a SG draw that gained 10 yards.� This play shredded the defense last week, but no one learned or adjusted.� Early in the 3Q, on a 3d & 3, Dallas ran the SAME play again, and Choice shredded the defense for a 23-yard jaunt.�

 

The most sickening play of the game was the Dallas TD at 9:49 3Q.� On a 2d & 9 from the PIT 12, Dick decides to get clever, and rushes only THREE (3) men, none of them named Harrison or Woodley.� The result?�� Romo danced and scooted around the pocket with eons of time like Fran Tarkenton, and Terrell Owens, after having run about in the end zone for 7 seconds, finally got open for a TD.�� 3-man rushes are for cowards and pussies.�� Absolutely as sickening a play as I�ve seen all year.�

 

There was also a wasted TO at 7:18 1Q.� With a veteran defense like this, this was quite poor.�

 

Yes, Dick�s defense did some quality work.� Keeping things in perspective, however�.they were far from dominant and showed some chinks in the armor.� And while Townsend�s INT and TD return was nice, this wasn�t a turnover created by the defense.� Rather, in a bizarre sense of irony nearly 13 years later, it was a Neil O�Donnell-like, hideous pass by Romo to NO ONE, which floated into Town�s hands like a beach ball for the Larry Brown-like INT and return.� The elephant in the room is that this defense needs to play better, for a full 60 minutes, to overcome the ineptitude of the Stiller offense.� ��B

 

HC:� Tomlin deserves credit for keeping the team together when it appeared Dallas might blow the game away in the 3Q.� His refusal to inject some sort of sense into Arians is just ghastly, and as a 2nd -year coach, I have no idea what it taking Tomlin so long to either get Arians straightened out or fired.�� Allowing Arians to actually call HANDOFFS in the final minute of the game was reprehensible.� After the 1st handoff and subsequent Dallas timeout, Tomlin should have taken over from there and ordered a kneel by Ben.���� B-

 

Synopsis:� Any win over the Cryboys is sweet indeed.� It�s hilarious to consider that, in these last 2 meetings with the �Pokes (2004 and today), the Crackboys have pulled defeat from victory with hideous turnovers late in the game!!� Ha ha !!�� It couldn�t come against a more arrogant fan base than the Crackboys�!� Hopefully some lessons will be learned and taken from this game.� There is no time to gloat or sit back, with visits to the Ravens and Titans coming up.� The goal should be to win both, secure the #1 or #2 seed, and then rest numerous players in the finale versus Clev.�

 

 

(Still Mill and Stillers.com -- when it comes to the analysis of the Pittsburgh Stillers, no one else comes close�.)