Loose Slag from The Still Mill

- It's not my style to utter obvious, no-kidding statements, but allow me this one:� With the emergence of Jamie Harrison, KenBell is HIS-TO-REE.�� Bye bye, Kenny.� Wish we could retain you, but Plex and Ward, amongst some others, need to be the focus.� Our starting LB corps next season, from left to right:� Hag, Jamie, Jamie, and Joey.� Harrison, for those fretting about his size, can easily add 15 pounds of bulk by hitting the ironhouse and the (legal) protein/carbo powders.� Not very difficult at all.� Harrison clearly shows a nose for the football and a desire to hit and play with malice & intensity.�

- Kimo V. was livid about Aaron Smitty not being voted to the Pro Bowl. �"We're the ones who watch the games. We're the ones who play against each other," von Oelhoffen said. "That's the only unbiased, uninfluenced vote.� We know the difference between getting 10 sacks and getting whupped all day, and getting two sacks and dominating."�

����������� Uh, hate to disagree with you, Kimo, but your description of "getting 10 sacks and getting whupped all day" is the exact, precise description of one Jason GilDong.� Yup, that's Big Jason GilDong, right on the dong!� Jason got his 10 sacks-per-season for a few years, and in the process was getting whupped all day, every game.� Jason was a big bag of barf, but his sack stats fooled most everybody and in the process he was able to attend a couple Blo Bowls.� So, bottom line -- the players aren't anywhere close to intellectual infallibility.� Sadly, nor are most fans, because most fans ballot-stuff and vote with eyeglasses tinted with team colors.� An improvement would be to partially use a system used by various HOFs, in which certain, qualified sportswriters (such as this one) are allowed to vote, and then also incorporate a small percentage of fan votes, and a medium percentage of player and coaches votes.

- Speaking of the sack, for all the lovers of the sack stat -- and that includes about 93% of all NFL fans -- James Harrison had a shitty game this past Sunday.� He recorded no sacks; ergo, to the lovers of the sack stat, he did nothing.� Of course, he did, as we know, harass Boller all day along, as well as fully force the INT that was made by Porter, as well as the late play in which he vaulted a blocking RB and batted down the 4th down pass.� Just another example of how overly worthless, and over-rated, the sack statistic truly is.

- Jason Taylor forced the late INT by Brady that led to the Miami win on MNF.� Brady should have TAKEN the sack; instead, he forced an absolutely hideous, Tomczak-like INT.�� In the eyes of Pro Bowl voters and sack-loving NFL fans, Taylor outright failed on that play.� He failed to obtain a sack; therefore, the play goes down as a defensive failure.� �Again, just another example of how overly worthless, and over-rated, the sack statistic truly is. �In fact, the sack is the MOST useless & most over-rated stat in all of the 4 major North American sports.  

- Isn't it utterly amazing -- even unbelievable -- that the Stillers running game is churning out gobs of yardage without (gasp) the Great Almighty God of TE Blocking, Big Mark Breuner�.?� For years, we were fed the bullshit babble that "Mark Bruener is essential to having a power running game."�� Just another bullshit fallacy issued to Steeler fans by the Steeler propaganda machine and the sheep-like Pittsburgh media.

- Speaking of running the football, it's nice to see some coverage on a backup RB -- completely written off and mired on the pine -- who came out of nowhere to rush for over 100 yards in 5 of his past 6 starts, leading his team to victory for several big wins.� Uh, no, I'm not referring to Big Jerome Bettis�.I'm talking about Nick Goings, the 4th string benchwarmer and former Pitt-scrubeenie who once again rushed for 100 yards this past Sunday.� When the defending NFC champion Panthers lost Stephen Davis, their fans could have thrown themselves off the roofs of high buildings.� After all, last season, "Davis led them to victory; without Davis, they would have lost."� Then, when sterling 2nd string RB DeShaun Foster got hurt, any surviving fans could have easily swallowed cyanide tablets.� Somehow, Carolina fans fought off the suicidal urge, and today, in large part due to the work of Goings, they are 7-8 and have won 6 of 7 to have a chance to become the first team in NFL history to make the playoffs after a 1-7 start.

- After the season, Carolina should rush out like rabid wolves and sign Goings to a 4-year, $24-million contract.�

- By the way, not to disrupt the Jerome Bettis lovefest, but for all the fawning over The Tubby Tailback, and for all the blather that suggests he should start in the playoffs, here's his yards/carry this season:� 3.8.

- Marketing update on The Tubby Tailback -- the US Army has signed him to be on some "Army of One" TV commercials. After all, as many Steeler fans proclaim, "We could not have won these past 5 games without Jerome Bettis."� No credit it due to the O-line whatsoever -- the entire running game is all the work of the original army of one, Jerome Bettis.� Indeed, there is no greater army of one, than Big Jerome Bettis.�

- Funny thing about that Troy Pola.� Last year, he was such a shitbag, in the eyes of Lord Billy Cowher, that he rotted the bench.� This season, he plays superbly, and even rightfully made the Pro Bowl.� Gee, that Billy Cowher guy sure is a genius for getting Pola on the field, eh?�

- If the Stillers go 15-1, or even 14-2, and bow out in the playoffs -- which, of course, is a very distinct probability -- it will mean nothing�..nothing more than the fact that Billy Cowher has ensured himself job protection for the next, oh, 6 years.� Cowher will be able to flounder along with 6 or 7 wins per season and an occasional playoff venture (ending in a whipping), and his fan club and the Rooneys will point to the 14/15-win season and do everything but recommend him to ultimately replace Pope John Paul II.� With 14 or 15 wins in 2004, Bilbo Cowher has a tighter guarantee on his job, despite any poor performance, than does the average unionized American schoolteacher.� ��

- Which one makes me sicker -- the job guarantee of Billy Cowher, or the average unionized schoolteacher�?� Tough call.�

- Wasn�t it just a year ago that Steeler fans were being fed the baldfaced bullshit about how players like Burnt Alexander and Jason GilDong gave the team �the best chance to win�?�

- Speaking of Burnt Alex, wasn't it hilarious to see the Grand Guru and Genius of Intellectual Football, Burnt Alexander, commit an a absolutely asinine personal foul penalty that wiped out a 3rd-down sack and sustained a Steeler scoring drive 2 weeks ago?� Alexander's sustained PT was justified all those years because he was "like having a coach back there" and he was supposedly an intellectual genius.� Then the truth comes out, when he commits one of the most dumbassed, foolhardy personal foul penalties in NFL history, which immensely helped to snatch defeat from victory against the Stillers.

- New Pitt Panther head coach Dave Wannstadt has spent time talking to veteran coaches for their input, as he embarks on his new job. Said Wann, �I've talked to Barry Switzer and Marv Levy". (Good call, says Mill.)� "I talked to Pete Carroll (Excellent!)�. and Chan Gailey�� �Halt!!� Excuse me while I expunge vomit.� As any Stiller fan can attest to, Chan Gayboy is the last person on earth that Wannstadt should be consulting with.� You want to talk to coaches with brains and wisdom and a proven track record, not a complete imbecile like Chan The Gayboy.�

- Large cardboard poster that was shown on TV during the Stillers' whipping of the Ratbirds: "We've always rode The Bus."�� Please, Stiller fans -- don't embarrass your fellow fans and our fine city.� Ask a 6th grader to review your grammar prior to entering the stadium, fer chrissakes.� What we don't want is to look like we're from Cleveland.�

- Happy upcoming New Year!� Party hard, but be safe, on New Year's Eve!� There are a few more weeks of Stiller football, and we don't want anyone injured during unsafe New Year's Eve activities.� Be safe and join us next year for the same hard-hitting coverage!

�(Still Mill and Stillers.com -- the only nationally read coverage on the Pittsburgh Stillers that has accurately predicted the how's and the why's of the past 3 Stiller playoff losses�.)