November Steeler Medley

November Steeler Medley

�Recovery & a Look Ahead

By Swissvale72

I�ll borrow a feature from The Fat Fuck Peter King, and talk first about my Travel Nightmare of the Week, or some such shit�.I forget The Fat Fuck�s actual words.

I still feel like I�m in my car.  After driving my daughter an hour plus north for an overnight visits at Plymouth State University on Friday, my Saturday began with an hour�s drive to the NH Seacoast to drop my son off with his aunt (�couldn�t have The House Pest along for this trip), the north again to Plymouth, then off to Aurora, New York, for another overnight visit at tiny Wells College.  On the way to Plymouth, passed a car with a NH license plate, FATBOB.   Looks like FatBob's wife was at the wheel.  I wonder if she likes driving a vehicle with FATBOB plates any less than Mrs. Swiss enjoys tooling around with a Pittsburgh Steelers wheel cover?  Who knows, maybe the drive was FatBob herself.  By the way, this is all for a daughter, senior in high school, that feels as though she�s undergoing a root canal in making these visits, talking with small college swim coaches & swimmers, while compromising her social life.  The coach at New Hampshire�s PSU, by the way, is the Granite State�s Joe Paterno�.77 years old, just having undergone double knee replacement, still on that pool deck.

Anyway, the trip to Aurora was an over the river and through the woods escapade, traversing various state roads throughout New Hampshire, Vermont (which is only about 40 miles wide in  parts), and then New York, getting twisted up in Saratoga, home of Art Rooney�s magical ride which netted him the Pittsburgh Steelers.

At the next days open house at this tiny liberal arts institutions, I spied a high school senior, wearing a Pittsburgh Steelers sweatshirt.  Ordinarily reserved, with the exception of coming upon fellow Steeler fans, I strolled over, and politely interrupted the conversation she and her mother were having with an Admissions rep to say, �Love your sweatshirt,� and flashed her a thumbs-up sign.  The response was a thinly veiled, �Get the Fuck out of here, you creep,� look.  Fuckin� New Yorkers.

The return trip was 360 miles spent in the passing line at 80 on the New York Thruway,  Mass Pike, and New Hampshire�s F.E. Everett Turnpike.  Why the rush??  I was taping Steelers-Browns.

There�s always a certain amount of anxiety in taping to watch later.  The first pause is the possibility that your plans will be done in by technological failure, or an Act of God.  I damn near set the VCR (yes�.the V C R�I don�t have DVR, Tivo�any of that modern day shit), for 1am.  Actually, I set it for 2pm, not yet having set the clock back on that piece of machinery to Eastern Standard Time.  Oh, I know I�m rambling at this point.  It�s five-fuckin�-twenty-two in the morning though�.gimme a break!!  So�I�m always worried that I�ve fucked up my own taping.  Then, one has to be concerned that said Act of God will result in a temporary power failure, in which case all one�s best laid plans will have gone for naught.  I�ve written about this before, driven straight home from North Carolina�s Outer Banks in the late �90s, vanful of grumpy passengers, urging myself on as the day�s Steeler game was waiting for me, only to spy the flashing light on the stove from my driveway at midnight, knowing that I�d be reduced to going on-line, finding the score.  The fuckin� worst.

Anyway, the third anxiety is the possibility that one will learn the outcome prior to watching.  In this case, it was strictly IPod the whole way home, then I had to drop off my charges, drive back to the Seacoast for said House Pest.  I never went inside my in-laws  house, fearful that one of the douchebags inside would tell me the game�s outcome�.though they�re fuckin� clueless about anything non-Patriiot, and left for the return trip, now about an hour away from finally watching this divisional tilt with our hated rivals.

Then, the phone rings�.why the fuck did I answer it.  I didn�t recognize the number, could hardly see it, was not the NH Area Code.  I answer.  The voice on the other end says, �Now are you coming around to my position on Ben Vs. Brady?�  I quickly hang up.  It was Woburn Fuckin� Joe!!  Ben must�ve had a monster game leading the Steelers to victory.  Why the fuck did I answer that??  Why??  But wait, a Steeler victory was not assured!  Woburn Joe had said something similar to me after the Denver debacle, not even being cognizant that the Steelers had lost.  Nevertheless, my viewing was now compromised, thanks to that Stupid Fuck�.calling me on Game Day!!

I actually watched the remainder of Colts-Chargers, before finally tuning into Steelers-Browns around midnight.  At first, I thought, Woburn Joe was just fuckin� with me�.and deprecating his own self�.as Ben kinda sucked during the first half.  Then he came alive, and I knew we were in for a treat.  Once the Brownies ran the 4^th quarter kickoff back for the TD though, all bets were off.  Ben had already done enough to deserve Woburn Joe�s accolades, which Joe is all too willing to give.  Then came the second 4Q drive�but do the Browns score at the end?  Do they make the FG and win in OT?  Who knew?

 By the way, Woburn Joe�s disdain of Brady?  Part of it could be attributed to his serious man-crush on Doug Flutie�.a belief that Flutie is one of the best, if not the best ever, and was screwed over by the Pats in the late �80s.  In fact, Woburn Joe once had a blind date with a girl from Natick, MA.  It wasn�t exactly love at first sight, and when the young lady asked Woburn Joe if there was �anything else� he�d like to do (Joe, you Stupid Mother-Fucker!), Woburn Joe says, �Actually, yes�.could we drive by Doug Flutie�s House?�

Anyway,  here�s my game thoughts, and musings looking forward�.

Tomlin�s game day coaching still has a ways to go.  It seems as though, with the weather turning, we�re on some fuckin� mission to beat our heads against the wall to establish the run, even if it�s not there.  These past two weeks�.what the fuck!!  Plenty of resulting third & longs.  Then, all worked out well, but IMO, we went way conservative on 3^rd & 8 from our own 11, with 2 minutes remaining.  Yes, running 40 seconds off the clock was damn important, but had the Browns not been penalized on the resulting return, they�re set up at our 38 with over a minute left, needing a FG to tie. Plus, we�re kicking to a guy that had already destroyed us, reminiscent of Eric Metcalf in �93.  A first down there, game�s over.  Ben was hot in 4Q�..let him make a throw to win the game�yes�similar to the Brady-Welker combo in Indy last week, keeping the ball away from the Colts with under two minutes left.  Didn�t like that call.

The kick coverage has me thinking about stupid shit again, like sending every kickoff OOB.  Our final kickoff though.....got Cribbs to the ground around the 25. That shit's maddening though. It seems like '05 was the only year in recent memory that we've needed not worry about our coverage.

Damn good thing Ben�s a fuckin� Houdini.  Tough to imagine this 2007 Steelers squad having a bright playoff future with a line in such disarray.  I�m seriously worried about our fate in New England on December 9, and please, following week v. Jacksonville�.let�s pass to run, not beat our fuckin� heads against the wall all day long.  I think Steelers make enough plays to beat Jax on our home turf.

Okay�.weeks ahead�..no way we lose in the Meadowlands this weekend.  I think we terrorize the poor Jets, take over their stadium�.we win that one handily.

Following week, another stellar Monday night performance.  Talk by Kornheiser, et al that night will be the condition of the field.  Pitt will have played there, along with a high school quadruple-header the previous Friday. That�s one of the best sports deals going by the way.  For ten bucks, you can sit your ass in Heinz Field from morning �til damn near Midnight, watching four high school championship games.  It�s all on local TV as well.  Watched that shit last year, when I was home for Thanksgiving�..went over real big with the fam.  Anyway, will be the contrast between Lightup Night in Pittsburgh�.and the Field of Horrors.  Hey�did you asshats know that every single City League game is now played at South Stadium??  How the fuck they do that?

The game to watch out for, I hate to say, is the following Sunday versus the Bengals.  This team can still put it together offensively, particularly with the return of Chris Henry.  It would be fuckin� horrible to lose this one just prior to New England�horrible�but I�m damn scared of this game, once again going up against The Homo Carson Palmer, Ocho Cinco, the fuckin� terrorist, and other assorted unlikeables.

Gotta root like hell for another Indy loss, hopefully two.  This receiving corps they have�.could happen.  Most of their challenges are at home though�.KC, Jax, Tennessee.  They still have Baltimore on the road�.wouldn�t that be something?  Doubtful though�maybe it�s time for the Ravens to go with Bollar�gives �em their best chance, sad to say.

The Division is assured��we�re back in the playoffs�.at least one home game at Heinz�.likely versus Jax, Tennesee, or the rival Brownies.  Should we go in as the #3, will be one of those that we struggle to win, but win, then it�s on to Indy.  Awesome though, to cop the #2�.hell, could it be that Indy collapses, doesn�t even take the Division?  #2, #2�..our mantra.

Shit�almost 6am, Nordic Track beckons, gotta close this chaper.  Hope ya liked it.  You say you didn�t??  Fuck You then�.take a ticket, get in line�sue me!!