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Dick the Dullard Asleep at the Wheel....Again !

October 01, 2012 by Still Mill


Dick the Dullard Asleep at the Wheel....Again !

Dick LeBeau, “The Supreme Deity of Defensive Football”, has once again been exposed as the senile, inept fuddy duddy. 

His vaunted defense got ass-raped by the lowly Raiders, led (sic) by Carson LipBalmer, a man who earned that nickname because he had to use so much lip balm because he sucked so badly and so often.  From the latter portion of the 2Q onwards, the Raiders had the ball 5 times, and scored all 5 times. 

After the game, the Raiders basically snickered and sneered at The Dullard.   Several Raiders players said the Steelers’ blitzes and pass coverages were predictable at times.  "They pretty much did the same thing that they did six, seven years ago when he was playing with Cincinnati,"  WR Derek Hagan said of the former Bungals quarterback.   “He (Dick) has been running certain things that other teams have seen, that we've seen. We knew their tendencies and we were able to hit them with some big plays when it really counted."

This, of course, followed the week 1 ass-roasting at the hands of a rusty Peyton Manning, a guy who hadn’t played  a real NFL game in over a year.   After that embarrassment, Denver receiver Brandon Stokley said of the Steelers’ late defensive collapse: “I think they pretty much did the same thing all game.” 

Of course, despite mountains of overwhelming evidence that prove Dick’s senility more and more each day, you have the Pgh media, and most Pgh fans, clinging to the fallacy that Dick today is the same coach as he was 15 or even 5 years ago. 

Of course, there’s even more evidence.   Witness this --  according to the Trib Review, Cam Heyward, a 2nd year DE who was a FIRST ROUND draft pick, played only 5 snaps in the OAK game.    NT Steve McLendon played only 3 snaps.     How the fuk does that happen??     We can assume both men are healthy, as neither has been on any injury report.   Heyward backs up (hold your laughter, please) Ziggy Hood and Brett “The Jumping  Referee” Keisel.   It’s not like Keisel and Hood are imitating Justin Tuck and Jason Pierre Paul.    5 fuking plays all game long for Heyward??   As for McLendon, he backs up Fat Casey Hampton, and it’s not like Fatty Hampton needs to play 3 downs, or that The Fat Waddler could even if he wanted to .   This is just assaholic personnel usage, and the blame has to go on The Great Deity of Defense, Dick LeBeau.   The D-line is a position that ALLOWS the easy subbing of fresh players.    No wonder our D-line got ZERO push and zero pressure on LipBalmer the entire game.    While the d-line played patty cakes with the OAK O-line, Dick was asleep on the sidelines, totally oblivious to it all. 

Of course, there are the legions of weak-assed excuse makers, all rallying behind the horseshit excuse of “If only we had Troy and Harrison.”  Funny, but we had those 2 men on the field during many numerous collapses.   Further, the mark of a great coach is not what he does with, say, 8 All Pro defenders and another 7 savvy, capable veterans.   And, it’s like --  no other team has ANY injuries this season.    Waahh!     Dick has a couple players hurt!     Pity party for us!

No, the real mark  of a great coach is what he does with lesser on hand.   In Dick’s case, he hasn’t done jack shit without a full healthy lineup made of stalwarts and seasoned veterans.   What a crock. What a farce.  What a façade.  

And it’s not only the ass-raping that is alarming.   Just like last season, this defense is generating next to nothing in terms of turnovers.  On paper, they’re credited with 3 forced turnovers, which is, as is quite common in NFL stats, a complete farce.  The lone turnover in the NYJ game came when a Jets punt returner allowed a punt to clang off his facemask.   This ain’t a defensive turnover at all, and it was forced, either.   The other 2 TOs --  Larry Foote, totally out of position to make a tackle, threw out a blind, backhanded slap that force a fumble vs. Denver, and then last week, Ryan Clark, who never, ever makes a  play on a ball, basically fair caught an INT when the WR sliped on the dirt baseball infield at Oakland’s multi-purpose stadium.    Yipee!   1 Dong INT, and a blind backhanded slap of a FF, is all this half-assed defense has forced in 3 games.  There’s been no heavy heat on opposing QBs, there’s been no forcing of hasty, errant passes, there’s been absolutely no swarming to the ball, and most alarming, there’s been  zero reading of the QB and actually BREAKING on the ball in an attempt to, you know, bust up a pass.   What a concept !!    This defense strikes fear into nobody.  This defense is the most passive, weak-assed set of stationary traffic cones in the league, and one man is to blame, Dick The Dullard LeBeau.    

The proof is in the pudding.  The evidence is abundantly clear.   You have a senile DC who is clearly hurting and hampering the team.   No amount of quibbling or bullshit rationalizations can cover it up.   The façade has been exposed, and it’s high time that Dick be a man, show some responsibility, and step down from the embarrassing fiasco he has overseen and promulgated.  

 (Still Mill and -- when it comes to the analysis of the Pittsburgh Stillers, no one else comes close….)

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