THE CRASHING OF THE ETERNAL OPTIMIST

THE CRASHING OF THE ETERNAL OPTIMIST

By Swissvale72

Trouble with being an optimist is that when you crash, you crash really hard.� I remember one of my psychology classes at Lebanon Valley, the rare class where I a) went to class and b) paid attention.� Cognitive Psychology�..read a study of surgical patients.� Those that maintained a reasonable amount of fear, fared much better afterwards�better than those that were either consumed by fear, or worry-free.

Here we sit, 2-5, having just lost to one of the worst teams, and most putrid offense, in football.� Here I sit, tickets to Steelers vs. Denver Broncos this Sunday at Heinz.� This game would be the cr�me de la cr�me, I predicted.� But�I�m crashing hard.� Was looking forward to my Upper End Zone bleacher seat, hoped to be sandwiched between some effervescent, pretty Mon Valley girl, and ��well�.wouldn�t much matter who would be on the other end, now would it?� Instead, I�m likely to be book-ended by Freddie the Fact Fuck from Fox Chapel, and Ugly Fuckin� Annie from Upper St. Clair, both of them stuffing their fat fuckin� faces with nachos topped with Cheez Whiz throughout the game, spilling Mountain Dew on me, and waving their smelly Terrible Towels in my face.�

I�ll probably have some big fat-assed chick in front of me, too.� You know, the kind whose ass is so damn big, it hangs off her bleacher seat, and actually lands on your shoes.� They could use her ass instead of the cleaning crew�.just place her in each row, push her from one end to the next�.floor behind her is clean!!!� Ya spend the whole game trying to evade having any of your body part�shoes included�touch her ass.� She�ll stand up during a good play�.be like the eclipse of the moon�I won�t be able to see a fuckin� thing!!

Additionally, was supposed to be at a conference in Chicago this week.� Who wants to learn new shit at a time like this.?? �Might as well stay home�.why go halfway across the country to be miserable�.plenty of misery within my own four walls.

Optimists crash hard�.haven�t eaten all day (�not necessarily a bad thing; I can afford to miss a few meals)�been mean to my employees�.can�t sleep��toss/turn�.turn/toss.� And oh yeah�.all of you on the board that have been mean to me�.yinz can kiss my ass!!� If you�ve been neutral to me, well�.yinz can kiss my ass, too!!

Okay, enough of my woes�..

Yesterday�s debacle:

Hey Najieh Davenport!! One�I don�t� care if I spelled your name wrong.� Two�Fuck You!!� Can�t your dumptruck ass stand still after you�ve been knocked for a 3-yard loss from the 2.� Okay, the run wasn�t your fault�but did you have to go in motion the next play, knocking us back to the 10??�

What undisciplined football.� We played more like the Raider than the Raiders did.� Four fuckin� personal fouls�.gave them 3 points with the two in succession to start the second half.� That shit combined with the Najieh fuck-up�and you�ve got to wonder about the coaching.

Bill Caaaaaaaaaaahr��Mr. Intensity�..what the fuck!!� He seems to not give a shit!!� There�s no apparent sense of urgency about this guy!!� �Well�.it was a tough week this week; we�ll try to do better next week.�� Earth to SFB (take your pick�could be Shit For Brains�.or, in this case, Stupid Fuckin� Bill), 4 wins in December won�t get your team into the playoffs if you�re 2-10 to start that streak.

Hate to even suggest this�.but I�ve thought it, so I might as well say it�.anyone see even a loose association between�.Ben�s Motorcycle Accident�.and�..dare I say, Tammy Maddox�s temporary paralysis against Tennessee in �02.� Ben�s damn tentative�..should he have run on 4^th & 3 from the goalline.� Did have Faneca out in front�..may not have made it, but he seemed to have a better shot doing so than with the pass to Holmes.

Our o-line sucks!!� Was overrated last year.� Last year, we just peaked at the right time.� Was probably the truest thing Cowher ever said.� Best team doesn�t necessarily win the Super Bowl.� We just managed to sneak in�.and then played great football.....well, good enough football to win, throughout the playoffs.� This fuckin� line though�..can�t run block, Ben�s �probably delusional now is the problem.� Probably sees 5 cars, driven by elderly Jewish women, chasing his ass every fuckin� time he drops back.

From Here:

Now every Steeler fan in California has the hammer put down on them from the South (San Diego) and from the North (Oakland).� My advice to all you Cali Steeler fans.� If you have any opportunity�any chance�.to get the hell out of Schwarzneggerville this week�.get the hell out�.go�.just as soon as you possibly can!!

So there you have it�..don�t know how long I can keep writing about this squad.� No more predictions.� No more Koolaid, as described by SignPlax (hey�SignPlax�fuck you, too!!). My system has definitely been purged of PEIS.� We must have made a collective deal with the devil last year.� We�ll blame Nick79 for that one.� One Super Bowl Championship, followed by a lifetime of ignominy (�I really don�t know what that word means�.just sounded good in that spot).� In Nick�s case, I think he pledged to send his wife back to the Gulag.

Glad we got the ring�..this year sure is fuckin� terrible�..was looking forward to the 1^st of November with so much anticipation�.the beginning of the month where the ascension would shift into high gear.� Now�.well�.it�s not quite that!!