Stillers 3, Miami 0��
���. Nov. 26, 2007 ����Game # 11
Stillers-Dolphs Postgame
Analysis and Grades
The Pittsburgh
Muddhens hosted the Dolphs on MNF at the Heinz Cow Pasture, which had
ridiculously had new sod simply tossed down on the old grass just 2 nites
ago.� A deluge of rain delayed the start
of the game and turn the Cow Pasture into a verifiable swamp. �The Muddhens, coming off 2 entirely lacklaster
performances, laid another egg in a sleepy, lethargic, uninspired effort against
a hapless 0-10 team amidst the fight for the division and the AFC�s #2
seed.� �Fortunately, Reed booted a 24-yard FG with 17 seconds remaining to
end this ugly slopfest.�
Grades:
QB:�
Benji started off slowly, as usual, misfiring to a wide open Hines on
his 1st pass.� �Then, later on the 1st drive, Ben scrambled
to his right, and with plenty of room and time, he threw what turned out to be a
weak-assed, hideous, pile o� shit out-pass to Ward that was weak and low, and picked
off by Schmoey Porter.� �Words cannot describe the utter stench and hideousness
of this pass, and it reminded me all too much of the Brett Favre GIMME sack to
Strahan a few years back that gave Strahan the NFL sack record.� I�m certainly not saying Benji gave this INT
to Porter, but for crying out loud, it was absolutely putrid.� Benji caught fire, of sorts, as the game
wore on, and completed 86% of his passes (a Stiller record!) while snapping off
some crisp completions in the 4Q to put the team in chippie FG range.� Overlooked by most was the asinine, totally
jack-assed HOLD-ONTO the ball on the last play from scrimmage, just before the
Reed FG.�� Here they are, in chippie FG
range with 1 minute remaining in the game, and it�s THIRD down & goal at
the Miami 5 in the midst of a SWAMP.��
If nothing is open, FLING the ball into the bleachers, McFly !!!� You don�t risk the strip or the forced
fumble that deep, and that late, in a tie game where the chippie FG can win the
game.� Really, this was every bit as
stupid and brainless as the late scramble by Kent Graham in the Fiasco in
Cleveland back in �99.�� ��This blunder goes right along with Ben�s fascination,
ever since the Clev game 2 weeks ago, of holding onto the ball the way a toddler
holds onto a doll.��� B.��
RB:�
Parker obviously found the footing difficult, although he did manage to rip
off some nice runs.� On the game�s 2nd
series, he ripped off two nice 9-yard runs.�
He also had some nice gainers late in the 3Q.� Willie finished with 81 yards on 24 carries and a whopping 1
catch for 8 yards.� Daven struggled like
a bitch.�� He had a measley 2 yards on 3
carries, and failed to get the first down on 2 yardage plunges.�� Worse, he was flagged for a hold on Ward�s
19-yard reception in the 2Q, while blocking a CORNERBACK that was
blitzing.�� What a homo !!�� Then, on the final play from scrimmage in
the 4Q, he whiffed weakly in pass pro, which led to the harassment and flush of
Benji.� �Parker - A-.�� �Davenport -�
D.�
FB: Kreider got the start at FB.� He had a nice lead block on Parker�s 8-yard
run late in the 2Q.� He also had a good
15-yard reception off a valve dump in the2Q.�
Davis had a solid gain of 9 yards on a screen in the 2Q.� ��B.�
WR:�
Hines broke out of a funk with his best game of the season, slogging
through the slop to haul in 9 passes for 88 yards.�� (2 other grabs by Ward were negated by assoholic penalties.) ��He made some clutch grabs on the game-wining
drive.� �Hines cleverly got away with a severe shove-off at the stem of his
curl route that gained 4 yards on 3d & 3 in the 3Q, a shove that was, oh, about
7 times more severe than the one that Seattle�s D. Jackson was flagged for in
SB 40 and of course is never flagged in the NFL.�� Wilson had a couple grabs, including a good catch on a low throw
early in the 1Q.� Nate had 1 grab for 6
yards.� With Holmes sitting out due to
injury, Willie Reid was finally allowed to dress, and he caught a bbble screen
late in the game for a 6-yard gain.� ��The
group did well amidst the conditions.� ��A.�
TE:�
Miller had a game he�d soon like to forget.� He caught zero passes, which is shabby enough, but not the depth
of his ineptitude.� He committed a
jackassed OPI penalty �on a 3rd conversion
by Ward in the 3Q, and then was flagged for a lazy hold on a Parker 9-yard run late
in the 4Q.� On a 3rd & 6 in the 3Q,
Miller was beaten cleanly by a CORNERBACK, Allen, for a sack. �This, quite frankly, was one of the sorriest
efforts I�ve seen all season.� Speath
did nothing.��� D.�
OL: The line had some ok plays, along with
a host of gimpy, shoddy plays.� Marvel
Smith sat out with a bad back, and Starks started at LT.� Starks did ok at times, often punching Jason
Taylor around like a rag doll.� But
Starks had a thoroughly poor recognition of a corner blitz by Allen in the 1Q,
and foolishly helped Faneca block ONE rusher.�
By the time MaxiPad realized the blitz was on, Allen had dashed by and stripped
Ben of the ball.� KenDoll Simmons had a
host of problems all game.� On the sack
with 6:26 left in the 4Q, he was wheeled all the way back to the QB in putrid
fashion.� Mahan was poor as piss on Ben�s
1-yard scramble in the 2Q, getting tooled badly by Porter�s inside rush.� As noted, a couple of the sacks were the direct
cause of a TE or FB, and the sack late in the 2Q as a pure coverage
sack.� The blocking was obviously a
challenge at times, based on the swampy field.��� B.�
DL:�
The D-line played ok, although they were playing a weak-assed O-line and
facing the weakest trio of RBs in the entire NFL.� Keisel had a good stick n� stuff on the 1st series, and had a bat
at the LOS in the 3Q.� Fat Casey Hampton
finally did something, blowing up a ground play in the 2Q and forcing a 2-yard
loss.�� But, he was shoved aside rather
easily in Chapman�s 10-yard burst up the gut from the Miami 7 in the 3Q.� Very poor.�
It�s no wonder this guy�s play has plateaud, as he�s ballooned to epic proportions.� He made Keith Traylor look slim, and soon
enough he�ll make Ted Washington look svelte. �Aaron Smith chipped in some.�
��B.
LB:�
Some decent play, although again, it must be factored with the weak Miami
O-line, the laughable trio of RBs, and the rookie QB making his 2nd career
start.� Farrior and Foote snapped out of
funks with some active, effective play.�
Farrior laid the wood to Dicky Williams, which forced a fumble in the 2Q
that Timmons recovered.� Foote slashed in
to stuff some ground plays.� Footer also
had a classic Dong Sack, stepping over the utterly pussyfied chop block attempt
by Chapman in the 3Q.� Harrison had some
stellar plays, and a poor one.�� H
fought through a block and helped attack Dicky on Farrior�s forced fumble.� He beat a lowly WR (Peelle) on a wide rush
for a sack in the 4Q.� His poor play
came on the Chapman 9-yard run early in the 3Q, taking a poor angle and drifting
inside, which allowed Chapman to lumber around end for the easy gainer.� Haggans struggled immensely on successive
plays in the 2Q.� He took an entirely
foolish angle on Dicky�s 6-yard run.�
Then, he was sealed in badly by Peelle on the reverse by Ginn.� Fortunately, Farrior stopped this for a
short gain, but it was still a weak, lame-dick play by a veteran LB.� ���B.
�
DB:�
Again, facing a team with no rushing attack and a weak-assed passing
attack that was �led� by a greenhorned rookie making his 2nd career start, I
can�t fawn over the performance of the DBs.�
Actually, they let numerous WRs wide open, but time and time
again the Fin receivers dropped the ball or Beck misfired poorly.�� Ty Carter started in place of Pola and led
the defense with 11 solos.� He had a
nice stick in the backfield on the 1st play of the 2H, and a good stick and wrap
of Peelle on a 3rd down late in the 4Q.�
Tony Smith put a god lick on Chapman at the end of the 10-yard run,
which knocked Chappie from the game.� Ike
had good coverage on the deep ball to Booker in the 3Q on 3rd & 16.� Of course, what Cameron and the idiot Fins
failed to realize, is that you attack Ike deep on FIRST down, when he�s almost
always biting on the play fake.�� There�s
not much for Ike to Bite on, on 3rd & 16.������ B.�
Spec
teams:� No major fiascos, but plenty of spottiness.�� Sepulveda might be lauded by Tomlin and idiot
media members for his pooch punting, but when looked at closer, his pooch
punting sucked ass.�� Here are the
results of his POOCH punts from midfield or near midfield --
���������� - FC (fair catch) at 14, 31-yard punt
���������� - FC at 10, 38-yard punt
���������� - FC at 11, 39-yard punt
���������� - FC at 10, on 32-yard punt�
Sorry, but
I don�t fawn and lavish praise on pile o� shit shorty punts.�� Now, if these punts were fair caught at the
6, or the 4, then I could applaud.�� We all know that punts were not going to bounce high and roll
far in The Bog -- one Miami punt actually plugged into the mud -- so
this weak, lame, gutless punting doesn�t leave me giddy with delight.�� Sepulveda did a have one solid punt, which hit
and spun OOB at the 6 in the 3Q.� Rossum
finally have a big punt return, racing 33 yards in the 2Q.��
Reed badly
duck-hooked a FG in the 2Q, and quickly blamed it on the field.�� Per the PG, �That kick
taught Reed a lesson for his next one. He said he took his normal stride
on the miss and decided to take choppier steps on the winning kick.��� Is Reed a RETARD, a dumbass, or both
??? He's been kicking in the NFL and at Heinz Mud Bog since
2001�.and it JUST dawned on him that, in bad weather, he should take SHORTER
strides on his kick ???? What a stupidass!!! ��And, fact is, Reed�s plant foot was 100% fine
on that missed kick.� It was his kicking
foot that severely scraped the ground before contacting the ball, and this
boner is precisely what caused the duckhook.��
Reed booted the easy 24-yarder to put the game�s lone points on the board.�
Davis had a
good tackle on KO coverage in the 3Q.� Starks
rumbled in to block the FG in the 4Q, although the play was nullified by a Miami
DOG penalty.� Madison had a good read
and tackle on the late KO coverage, stopping Ginn after he received a pitchout
from an up-man.�� �B.�
OC:�
No one at any site covering the Pittsburgh Steelers has been more
critical of Bruce Arians than this one.�
Arians didn�t let us down in the expectations department, with yet
another vanilla, mindless, grab-bag game plan that could have just as easily
been crafted by a 7th grader during study hall.�
���� Yeah,
sure, it was muddy and rainy.�� So what??�� Yer playing THE worst team in the NFL and
one of the worst defenses. �At some
point in time, you have to take advantage of the overwhelming talent, along
with home field advantage (yes, home field advantage includes more than just
the surface, of which the Stillers still had an advantage with that as well).�
���� The guy was given GOLDEN field position
the entire game, and all his offense could muster was 3 lousy points??� Gimme a break!�� This ain�t the St. Louis �Greatest Show on Turf� with Warner,
Bruce, Holt, and Az Hakim.�� This Stiller
offense is BUILT for this kind of weather, but they laid yet another egg
against one of the worst defenses in the NFL.���
����� A key problem is the rabid over
fascination with the WhaleShit Counter.��
You�d have thought the swampy conditions would have eradicated the WhaleShit
Counter from tonite�s playbook, but stupid-assed Arians kept calling it anyway
!!�� The 4th & 1 Davenport run that
was stuffed -- a WhaleShit Counter !�� The
play that Porter stopped for a 1-yard loss from the backside in
the 3Q -- a WhaleShit Counter !��
����� Late in the 3Q, the Stillers were
starting to smash Miami in the mouth. �Parker ripped off runs of 9, 5, and 7 yards. �2nd down and 3, with Miami reeling from this
smashmouth football, and WHERE is the play-action pass��?��� Nowhere, because it doesn�t exist in the
Arians playbook!!�� You cannot pass unless
from a SHOTGUN formation in the Bruce Arians playbook.�� So, Miami stacks 9 men near the LOS, and stuffs
both the 2nd & 3d down plunges to force the Reed FG that was wide
left.��
�
����� Lastly, there was the totally jackassed
playcall on the late 3rd & goal at the 5, with just over 1:00 remaining in
this tie game.�� Miami had just called a
TO, so there was plenty of time to go over the situation and the playcall.� The situation is simple -- you cannot, in any
way, shape, or form, do something so asinine and risky so as to throw an INT or
get stripped of the football.�� So what
does Asshole Arians call ??� A slow as
shit play with Ward running a simple slant -- a play just begging for a tipped
pass at the LOS, a deflected pass off Ward�s fingertips, or a clean pick by a desperate
defense.� Or, the QB sitting in the
pocket and getting STRIPPED of the football, which nearly happened.�� Only 2 playcalls were acceptable in that situation
-- either a plunge, or a fade route that has virtually zero chance of an INT,
with strict order to Ben to fling the ball into the bleachers if nothing is
open.� Only by the grade of God was Ben
not stripped on this fiasco of a play.��
����� It�s ironic that Arians again showed his
overt stupidity, o the same day that Chan Gayboy resigned from Ga. Tech.�� �Each
coach is a absolute fool. ����F. ��
DC:�
I don�t think any DC in the history of the NFL has had the outrageous
luxury of facing, at least 40 times, greenhorned rookie QBs making their 1st or
2nd career start�.as well as facing rushing attacks that have been decimated by
injury.�� Then, add a WR corps that couldn�t
catch a beach ball tossed from 5 feet away, and you have a task as easy as pie.
��
������ Late
in the 2Q, there was a massive coverage breakdown, with a 21-yard completion
off a poor, low, underthrown pass by Beck that would have gone for 61 yards if
the pass had been even mediocre.�
������ The 4Q struggles, with this tie game on
the line, were alarming.�� Miami kept EIGHT
men in to protect, meaning only 2 players went out for the pass, and the WR
(Booker) was still WIDE OPEN for an easy 20-yard catch.� 3 plays later, 7 men protected and only 3
men went out for a pass, and again, Miami played an easy game of
pitch-and-catch for 21 yards.�� All of
these healthy gainers were right down the MIDDLE of the field. ��With Chambers traded a few weeks ago, this
has to be the worst WR corps in all of pro football, yet here they were, getting
carved apart by a rookie QB.� The simpleton
will fawn over a shutout; the astute realist will see that ugly warts still
exist, in large quantities.����� D.�
HC:� Tomlin
talked a lot about how the team would come back from last week�s egg lay, but
talk is cheap.� The team came out flat,
flaccid, and meek.�� Witness the Schmoey
Porter INT on the game�s first drive.� Porter
is tackled directly in front of the Stiller bench, and then gets up and taunts
and whoops and prances in front of the entire team & staff.� How many Stiller players accosted asshole
Porter ??� �Answer:� ZERO.�� In our house, not one player moved even one
inch towards Porter to chase his sorry ass out of our bench area.�� This kind of meek, uninspired play
continued the entire game.�� 3
consecutive weak, meek games against weak opponents, at a time when a team
should be gearing up for the playoff run.��
Not good.����� C-.�
Playing Surface: �I�d written an
article 2 days ago, voicing my concerns over the overt stupidity of laying
new sod just 40 hours before a game in late November.� ��Unfortunately, the Cow
Pasture at Heinz Mud Bog was every bit the embarrassment, on national TV, that
I�d feared it would be.��
���� This site, and
this site alone, has ridiculed and criticized the asinine combination of HIGH
SCHOOL football and a GRASS field, all the way back since 2001.��
� ���Here�s an idea -- let�s have MORE football
games and other events at Heinz Mud Bog !!�� Let�s allow other local college teams to play there, to include Carnegie
Mellon, Duquesne, and Robert Morris.� After
all, it�s not fair that Pitt gets to play there and not their lesser NCAA brethren.�� Let�s have monster truck races, moto-cross
races, and punk rock concerts at Heinz Mud Bog !!��
���� And, why stop
with high school football?�� Why not high
school soccer, lacrosse, field hockey, rugby, and team handball??� �Bottom
line is that the Rooneys are complete jackasses for stubbornly insisting that
every high school & junior high team have carte blanche access to a
PROFESSIONAL team's football field, and THEN having the inane stupidity to
refuse to install field turf on the damn thing.� �And,
on top of that, allowing some numbnut horticulturalist to concoct the idea of
laying sod 30 hours before kickoff with rain clearly in the forecast. And
finally, too cheap to have a quality tarp that doesn�t leak !! ����F-�
Synopsis: �This team seems to not have the slightest concern, but the reality
is this --� three consecutive egg lays that
should leave any rational person concerned.�
This wasn�t the total, collective egg lay of the Jets game, but it was
an egg lay nonetheless.�� You�re a playoff-bound
team playing an 0-10 team, at home, and it shouldn�t matter if the game is
played in mud, sleet, snow, or a tsunami --- you should rather handily maul that
weak opponent and wear them down and then issue the beating.�� I don�t see much intensity, nor do I see
the slightest glint of innovation or adjustments on either side of the
ball.� �What this team did on offense and defense in Spetember hasn�t
changed one bit�.but every opponent has seen the films and has adjusted.� �There hasn�t been an adjustment in weeks and at this rate, I�m not
quite sure we�ll see one.� Next up, the
Bengals, which is by no means a gimme game given the slop this Stiller team has
shown the past 3 weeks�
(Still Mill
and Stillers.com -- when it comes to the analysis of the Pittsburgh Stillers,
no one else comes close�.)