Bettis deemed to be �overweight�

 

In an amazing discovery that outranks that of Benjamin Franklin, Thomas Edison, Wilhelm Conrad Roentgen, and Albert Einstein, the Pittsburgh media have suddenly begun reporting, "Jerome Bettis is overweight".�

 

Suddenly, you have Pgh. journalists tripping all over themselves -- a la DeWayne Washington -- in their haste to publish articles proclaiming, "Bettis is overweight".�

 

This has to be the biggest "NO SHIT" since the boatswain and the watch officer aboard the Titanic cried out, "There's a large bit of ice just in front of our boat."�

 

Said Ed Bouchette in the Post Gazette: "Cowher on Tuesday likely sent a message to Bettis, an old one: Shape up or ship out. He reportedly weighed 280 pounds toward the end of the season. The Bus needs to be 250 and in great running shape in June. If he is, he stays."

 

"Reportedly" weighs 280??� Our best estimates are that the Fatassed Fatback was over 285.� How ironic, in that, for the past 4 or 5 years, Bouchette has worshipped the very ground that Bettis walks on.� Actually, every single member of the Pgh. media has pandered and coddled Bettis as though he were the crowned prince of Saudi Arabia.� Bettis is a friendly player who gives great interviews.� He's popular with the fans.� He peddles more products bearing his name and face at the Pgh. Area Giant Eagle grocery stores, than do Tiger Woods, Shaq, and Sammy Sosa combined across the entire nation.�� Since 1999, the media has turned a blind eye toward The Tubby Tailback and worshipped him like he was a deity, and suddenly, now that Coach Billy Cowher mentions that Fatass Bettis might be on thin ice, the media sprints to the newsroom to inform all of us ignorant fans, "Bettis might be overweight".�� Bochette.� Cook.� Ross.� DiPaoloa.� Lolley.� Waxall.� Labriola.� Dulac.� Every single one of them has fawned all over Doughboy Bettis like a 16-year old fawning over his high school's Homecoming Queen.��

 

Sadly, this is all too typical of the Pittsburgh media, which is one of the primary reasons why this site was formed in the first place -- to provide real Steeler fans the real deal and the truly in-depth analysis of the Pittsburgh Stillers, in order to provide balance against the one-sided, follow-the-blind-pied-piper mentality of the Pittsburgh media.� Last year, the outrageously asinine cries of "Earl Holmes can't cover and can't tackle, and he is the sole problem with the pass defense" rang out from the media.� Soon enough, the fans latched onto this load of horsehockey, and before you knew it, Holmes was run out of town like a vagrant criminal.� The Steelers signed The Winged God of Linebacker Coverage to replace Holmes, and voila -- the pass defense was even worse.�

 

Let the record show that this site was the first and only major source to publicize the fact -- way back in 1999 -- that Fatass Bettis was grossly overweight.� Actually, this site was the very first -- and only -- major source to inform Steeler fans that Levon "The Lardass" Kirkland was grossly overweight.� It wasn't until Kirkland was sent packing, then the

Steeler fans did their typical "turn on a departing player" and finally see the light about how fat this LB had become.�

 

Of course, true to form, Bouchette himself backpedaled -- just only a day after the aforementioned comments -- as ferociously as DeWayne Washington in softee pass coverage:� "I cited that report earlier on these pages, but I learned today that Bettis was only in the 260s."� Yeah, right Ed�.and today you probably learned that North Korea has suddenly dumped Communism and is ready to join hands with America in full support of democracy.� Bouchette, worried that he might lose interviews with a popular player like Bettis who will probably never get released, did a typical puss-out and backpedaled from reporting the truth.�

 

It's a FACT:� Bettis has been grossly overweight since the 1999 season.� Actually, he was a bit on the flabby side in '98, but he really bloated in '99.� Nonetheless, the Pgh. media -- whom we here at Stillers.com have directly communicated with -- along with a massive portion of the Pgh. Fan base, have covered for him and rationalized for him in a such an overzealous manner, that Richard Nixon can only shake his head in his afterlife and say, "If only I had had this many fools making excuses for me and covering for me."�

 

With that in mind, we bring you�

 

Top excuses for The Tubby Tailback:

 

- �He�s not that tall, so his looks are deceiving.�

 

- �He�s got a large frame.�

 

- �Have you ever seen him in the locker room, without his pads on?�

 

- �The coaches say he�s in great shape.�

 

- �He�s listed at 255 pounds in the media guide.�

 

- �He�s in the best shape of his career.�

 

- �He only looks overweight because the other players are taller than he is.��

 

- "He was a big back coming out of college."�

 

- "Have you ever weighed him�?� How do you know he's 280?"�

 

- He's always been a big back."

 

- �He only looks overweight because of all the pads he wears.�

 

- "The coaches say Bettis is 255 and is in good shape�I tend to believe the coaching staff more than a guy just watching from the stands and the TV."�

 

- "He's only 5-foot-10, so he just looks as though he might be overweight."

 

So there you have it.� Three years after the fact, the Pgh. media and fan base comes around to reality and jumps on the bandwagon of, "Bettis is overweight."

 

Herewith, for your amusement, are some photos of Fat Jerome Bettis.� As always here at Stillers.com, we believe that the intense and arduous analysis of facts and observation is paramount to forming an opinion and an evaluation.� We believe in calling a spade a spade.� You be the judge as to whether Bettis is fat or not�

 

- Here's The Tubster after participating in just a couple of plays in the first quarter of last year's AFC title game.� He's so out of shape that he's exhausted and pooped, as though he'd just completed the Bataan Death March.�

 

� ��

 

- Here's the Rotund Running Back walking off the field after a stuff for no yardage in last year's AFC title game.� He's got a bloated belly hanging over his belt, yet supposedly he's 255 pounds.

 

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- Below, on the left, is Bettis with the Rams, when he actually was a legitimate 250 pounds.� On the right is the current version of the LardBack.�� If Bettis is truly 260 nowadays, that means that he weighed 220 pounds when he played for the Rams.� Pure bullshit.�

 

 

- More pics, below, of Bettis in his Ram days, when he truly was 245-250 pounds.� Compare how relatively svelte Bettis was, to how bloated, plump, and rotund he is today.�

 

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Still Mill and Stillers.com�.the only nationally known media source covering the Pittsburgh Stillers that has accurately predicted the why's and the how's of the past 3 Steeler playoff losses�