Ben, the Opener, the Season

BEN, the OPENER, the SEASON�� ����By Swissvale72

 

 

�Would you be this upset,� said Mrs. Swiss, �if I had an emergency appendectomy?�� I�ve sort of learned to take the 5^th with that sort of query.� Happened when she said, �You love the Steelers more than you love me,� and I responded, �But I�ve known them longer!�� Didn�t go over too well then; not a fuckin� thing has changed!

 

In retrospect, why the hell, when Ben was on the table back in June, did the Steelers not order the surgeon to remove his appendix, along with every other unnecessary organ?� �Tonsils not out yet Ben?�..Now they are.�� Let�s pull his gallbladder, too�while he�s opened up.

 

Y�know what though�.let�s get all this out of the way early�.peak once more in December.� Here�s what�ll happen on Thursday.

 

First off, we will be crazed on Thursday!!� Will be one of the top Pittsburgh events ever!!� Don�t worry about the dough you shelled out, Ronster� will be well worth it�you�ll have the world�s best pizza�.the misses will like it, too.� Todd & his pops will be there as well...I guess yours truly rounds out the New England black & gold contingent.� Will say this much though, Ronster�.I�ve noted several times on this site the insanity that would reign when Ben was introduced with the starting lineup!!� Damn�.looked like it was gonna happen!!

 

Any of you southern boys or girls making the trip??� Stopping by the piggly-wiggly on the way�.stock up on grits for the tailgate?�

 

Midwesterners�..we know ChiTraderRob�.and his avatar�will be making the trip.� Anybody else?

 

Rumor has it that The Irrepressible Still it (btw�.�irrepressible is definitely a good thing�) may lead a squadron of Southern Cali fans�.y�know, Beach Boys, Richard Nixon (oh right�he�s dead), Caeser Chavez will all be there�..bet you asshats didn�t know they were Steeler fans!!

 

The game, in all seriousness:� Fins are not to be taken lightly.� Won their final 6 last year, following getting their asses kicked by the Browns, of all people.� Set team record for sacks. Like what Saban is doing down there.� He doesn�t give a shit about the media, anybody else��he�s building his team to win.

 

Nonetheless, this Steeler team had JB�s back against Indy, had Ben�s back in the SB�.our D will have the O�s back against the Fins.

 

Watch for Homestead�s Charlie Batch to be solid, if unspectacular�mistake-free.� Look for a big play from our return game.� Game will be tighter than we would like�.will fall within the bailiwick of one of Cowher�s favorite Cowherisms�.�keep it close, win it in the 4^th quarter.�� Wouldn�t be surprised if win by around 16-10, 17-13, with the D stopping the Fins final drive inside of our 30.� Heinz will be rocking all night long!!

 

Oh�don�t be surprised if the Duante Culpepper comeback trained is derailed�.with Fat Fuckin� Casey doing the honors.� No�Ben�s setback will make me no more sensitive to �bad karma,� will not result in my rooting any less for injuries to the opposition.� No one in Miami, I�m sure, is saying, �Goshdarn�.wish poor Ben was playing against us.�� Fuck no�.they�re happy about it�.anyone says any differently, they�re lying sacks of shit.� Let�s go a little further.� Next week, Silverback will fuck up Byron Leftwich�.treat� his sorry ass like he did that Browns fan on Christmas Eve.� The week after�.the coup d�grat�.JPeezy will send Carson Palmer out of Heinz Field on a cart�.the Cornholer being in his hotel room, watching on tv by halftime.�

 

Last year, at the Monday nighter against the Ravens, this chick right behind us, kept screaming repeatedly, �Break his fuckin� leg!!�� The guy with her was laughing his ass off�.my 13-year-old was practically rolling in the aisles, was in stitches.� She was, by far, the most popular fan in the section.� Injuries to the opposition help us win�.therefore we want them to happen.

 

I�ve predicted a 13-3 campaign, #1 seed before�..won�t be that far off.� Ben misses more than this game, the Jax game may too much�..we�ll still go 12-4, 11-5 at worst.� We�ll grab a bye�.successfully defend our championship�Ben will be the SB MVP.

 

On balance, the positive of the Ike signing outweighs the negative of Ben�s appendectomy.� Was huge!!� Frankly, I�m pleasantly surprised it got done�.PG had reported as late as Friday that there had been no discussion with Ike�s agent for a couple months.� Can NEVER have enough good cover guys.� No way we would have kept Ike after this year had he gone into free agency.

 

In sum, my Steeler brothers and sisters�..been one helluva an off-season.� Ben�s accident�.Santonio�s bullshit, the Cowher flap, the Bettis flap (which was completely irrelevant�let the Bus talk, he�s a yakker�now he�s paid to do it�who gives a shit what he says �.now the appendectomy.� Then�..there was the drama on this very site�.introduction of the chat room, the �romper room� message board as dubbed by Triv, which poster hates who�..who know more football, who makes more astute predictions, who�s most full of shit (�truthfully, we�re all sort-of full of shit�.in general terms, there�s a direct correlation between how much one says and how full of shit they are).� Those high post counts�.not necessarily complimentary.

 

Still�.can�t believe STEELERS WON THE FUCKIN� SUPER BOWL.� My bout with PEIS (Post-Euphoric Immersion Syndrome) has officially run its course; my medication regimen discontinued.� Three days �til opener��all systems�GO STILLERS !!!