The STEELERS-red sox conundrum

The STEELERS-red sox Conundrum

�greetings of ill-intent

By Swissvale72

I�ve now lived in New England for over half my life.� For years, it was a lark.� The shitty Patriots were an absolute laughing-stock, and the Steelers were the four-time Super Bowl Champions with a scads of Hall of Famers.� It was a rite of summer.� In the first week of August, I�d call my Patriot friend, Stupid Charlie�..�Charlie, Hall of Fame Induction today.� Terry Bradshaw, Mel Blount are being inducted.� How �bout the Pats.� How many Hall of Famers they have?� Ooops�sorry, forgot they DON�T HAVE ANY. Hahahahahaha.�� Click.

And so it went.� Then there was that fateful January day in 2002 when Belichick owned Cowher, knew the Steelers special team tendencies better than our own coaches, and I had to suffer the indignity of flying back to Manchester with a planeload of Pats fans.� Then�.I receive an e-mail from Stupid Charlie.� It was conciliatory, classy.� My response was something like, �Fuck you�Pats still suck.�� Hey�no one ever said my fandom had to exude maturity, or that my class needed to be any better than 3^rd.�� Charlie�s next email commented on the status of our friendship.� I told him to Shut the Fuck Up.� We didn�t speak for 3 months.

Since then, my animosity for the New England Patriots, forged during the Fog Bowl of �96, solidified during that �01 AFCCG, has moved from �hate� to �despise.�� But�I have this problem.� I root for the Red Sox.� I�ve rooted for the Red Sox since moving to New England in �79.� It never seemed to be a problem.� There was never any conflict.� American League�.would never play the Bucs unless they met in the Series.� In that case, no question�.I�m down with the Buccos.� I rooted hard for the Sox in �86�always say that the closest I ever came to entering therapy was after the Buckner error, the Game 7 defeat.� Stupid� Charlie & I had cleared my living room of furniture entering the 9^th inning of Game 6.� On his way home to Boston that night, Stupid Charlie stopped at every bridge on the way, stopped, got out, dangled a leg over the side, thought better of it.

Once the Sox went to NESN, I stopped watching so much.� And we all know what the Bucs have been like since �92.� I�m really not that much a baseball fan, for a couple of reasons.� Any game that you can read a book while watching, how compelling can it be?� I honestly never watch a regular season baseball game.� Only 1 game out of 162�.how important can it be.� And, this bullshit about needing to rest players..Please!! As far as I can tell, only players that should get tired during a baseball game are the pitcher and the catcher.�

So�..doesn�t seem there�d ever be a conflict.� Watched the Sox finally win the Series while sitting inside the Trinity Brew House in Providence.� Was an eclipse of the moon that night.� Crowd would empty into the street during commercials to check that out.

Now, here we are.� Sox in the ALCS.� My conundrum is this.� I still like the Sox.� I like Manny.� I like that the Sox don�t need to shave & cut their hair as Johnny Damon had to to join the Yanks.� Terry Francona & Larry Lucchino are both Western Pa. guys.� My problem is this.� Pats fans, the biggest assholes in the universe, the most undeserving of fan bases, tend to be Sox fans as well.� Certainly there are exceptions, and one could argue, as I always do, that the Sox will always be #1 in the hearts of New Englanders.

But�.while in control of my head, my heart tends to drift without direction.� And in my heart�.sometimes my hatred of the Patriots is so very intense, I despise them and their boorish, idiotic, uninformed fans so very badly�..that I have to root against the Sox as well.� These fans�I wish them complete misery, unabated unhappiness in their fandom.� I curse them, cast spells of a lifetime in the Purgatory of Obscurity.� Simply put, I hate these mother-fuckers so bad, I�m willing to cut off my proverbial nose to spite my proverbial face.

I know I get no sympathy from the readership.� Most of you need no additional energy to hate the Red Sox.� Particularly now that the Yanks are out of the mix.� The Sox�.second highest payroll�..pompous Bostonians.� Leave early for Henry Wadsworth Longfellow readings in The Common.� Sing the praises of Nathanial Hawthorne and Cotton Mather.� Most of you hate them on their own accord.� Fenway Park�.built when peoples� asses were perhaps half their current size.

I know this��were the Steelers and Patriots playing now, and Horror of Horrors, were the Patriots to prevail�.I would then clearly cast glances of ill will the way of the Sox.� They�d be talking as in �04, City of Champions�..that�s our Fuckin� Title!!

It will come to pass thusly.� I�ll manage my dissonance in a manner that guarantees victory.� I�ll root for the Sox and celebrate should they win the Series.� Should they lose, I will turn on them with haste.� I�ll badger the local fandom�I�ll laugh�I�ll ridicule.� I�ll be smug.� They�ll think that I�m the asshole (�could you ever imagine that!).

Go Sox�..sort of!!