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Cowher Press Conference - Dec. 28th

December 28, 1999 by Still Mill

Cowhead's Latest Press Conferenence Dec

Cowher's Latest Press Conference - Dec. 28th

I reviewed Cowhead's noontime press conference today (1 advantage of DSS is getting Fox Sports Pgh and setting the VCR).

Not much to report on, other than more of Cowhead's stale, worn out babble and pontificating.

The 1st question was "Is Mike gonna start at QB?" Cowhead replied with a quick, terse, grouchy, "Yes", and that was that. Cowhead's response ensured that no one would quiz him about the possibility of Gonzo seeing some duty. A few reporters pressed about Stewart possibly getting PT, in which Cowher gave a very noncommittal "We'll see" answer. Obviously, Gonzalez will NOT play even a series of mop up duty on Sunday, even if the score is 68-0. Based on Cowhead's remarks, I'd expect Stewart to take perhaps 6-8 snaps at QB.

The best moment of today's press conference was the subject of Shar Pourdanesh. Someone asked Cowcrap how he felt about the mad Iranian's play. Cowher's response was quite positive, and he even stated, "Shar is a tough player. I like tough guys. <pause> He's not always pretty but he gets the job done."

Then veteran reporter Sam Nover piped up and asked, "Bill, given the problem you've had at his position, what is it about his game that he couldn't get a look for 13 games?" Field Goal Bill curtly replied, "It's hard to say." Nover then pressed on, "Did he not practice well, did he not �?", when Cowhead butted in with a very terse, "No. No reason." The disgusted frown on Nover's face just after Cowhead rebuffed this question was worth $100. Nover looked like a 10-year old who was just told by his parents, "No, you can't watch Mickey Mouse, it's too violent."

There you have it, ladies and gentlemen. We've had more problems this season at right tackle than Russia has had with plutonium and old nuclear reactors. We tried a Bungal castoff and a greenhorn 2d year player who had about 15 snaps of NFL experience. We had RTs who were getting manhandled on ground plays & getting whipped so badly by pass rushers that they were suffering whiplash. For 13 1/2 weeks this jackassed insanity continued, until a faint light went on in the dim bulb of Field Goal Bill's small, peanut-sized brain. Mind you, the faint light went on for "NO REASON". There was no reason for Pourdanesh to sit --- or even be deactivated -- but Field Goal Bill did it anyway. Cowhead says he "likes tough guys" like Pourdanesh�he liked Pourdanesh so much that he rotted the man on the sidelines the 1st 13 games of the season, in a queer similarity to the bench-rotting of Earl Holmes in '96 behind All-Stars Jerry "One Leg" Olsavsky and Dontgay Jones.

This is coaching. Our talent is not the best in the NFL. It's not even in the top 10. That aside, a coach's job is to use and scrounge and squeeze every ounce of value and production out of whatever resources he has at his disposal.

I've realized that this "new Cowher" -- the Cowher AFTER his fatty contract signed in spring '98 --is the victim of his own faulty preconceived notions and perceptions. Cowhead gets a totally unwarranted, unjustified, unproven opinion of a player or a scheme or a playcall, and BOOM -- it's then carved into stone for eternity. Andre Holeman stuck with this team for 6 games last year for no reason whatsoever. Ward has thrown exactly 1 pass in 31 NFL games. Porter plays his ass off on special teams and is rewarded with a couple meager extra plays in the dime defense. Jim Miller gets 35 minutes of gametime and is then banished forever. Malcolm Johnson -- an honor student in Business at Notre Dame -- is deemed too dumb too grasp the pass patterns.

It's time for Cowhead to move on. Yes, he'll do a stellar job somewhere else. That's not the point. This team needs a chance in direction, a change in focus, a change in schemes, and a cahnge in how its personnel are used. That change will not come from a mulestubborn fool who is continually victimized -- and allows the team to thus be victimized -- by his own jackassed biases that have no basis, not sense, and no positive productivity.

On a related note, I saw the Dr. Pepper commercial with Cowhead on Sunday. Ever wonder what his players think of it? Ever wonder what the players think, when they see Cowher ACTING on the commercial, doing one of his patented tirades? Ever think that just maybe, several players have thought during an in-practice or in-game tirade, "Gee, is Cowher serious right now, or is he just acting?" I have to believe that fewer players can take Cowhead's tirades anywhere near as serious as in years past. You can't go around "acting mad", and then also go around "being mad for real", and expect that the message is not being diluted.

The Still Mill

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