With considerable input from esteemed reader SteelForce, herewith are some suggestions for the supreme coaching staff led by Billy Cowher.
First, to summarize what we've seen thus far in '06, there's little in the way of the repetitive nature of the miscues (not to mention the FOUNDATIONAL, elementary nature of them) that can be ascribed to anything other than coaching.
First, to summarize what we've seen thus far in '06, there's little in the way of the repetitive nature of the miscues (not to mention the FOUNDATIONAL, elementary nature of them) that can be ascribed to anything other than coaching.
The mental errors, the lethargy (until someone decides that it is appropriate to dance and celebrate a simple touchdown until it costs us 15 yards), the nauseating sense of ENTITLEMENT.......these are ALL the outgrowths of bad coaching.
The Top Ten hints for the Stiller coaching staff.......
1) It is unwise to wait until a kick returner fumbles balls like Michael Jackson at a Cub Scout sleepover before he is replaced.
2) When a diabetic O-Lineman has done his imitation of a turnstile long enough to warrant having a coin slot installed in his shoulderpads.......it may well be time to go with the future hoss in waiting.
3) The massive Right Tackle should not be pushed around like a shopping cart at WalMart on the day after Thanksgiving.
4) Defensive Backs should be made aware that turning their heads around while the ball is in the air will not make them vomit pea soup like Linda Blair.
5) Truth in advertising laws should not demand that the Most Feared Man In The NFL have the name on his jersey replaced with "Casper". Just because Chad Johnson changed his name on his jersey doesn't mean that our Pro Bowl OLB should change his jersey name as well.
6) Pro Bowl caliber Tight Ends CAN legally be thrown to even when the words "third" and "long" describe the situation.
7) The Defensive Backs are to provide a cushion.......not a mattress. And certainly not a mattress wide enough to accomodate Kirstie Allie's ass.
8) Your QB can be told that staring at opposing LBs in order to "look them off" will not make the LBs think he's coming onto them or hitting on them.
9) You are allowed to draft Corners that cannot check their hairstyle using the reflection from the opposing receiver's belt buckle.
10) If the only "adjustment" your Head Coach makes in-game is accomplished by shoving both hands in his front pockets to access his groin.........there may be a problem.