Loose Slag from The Still Mill (Nov 11th, 2003)

� My apologies for my absence the past week, but work and some vacation got in the way.� The timing of this absence was good, though�a sure loss to Seattle, followed by the easy win over the cream-puff Cardinals.� I've scrubbed the tape, and I'm back in the saddle.� �Actually, I was in the saddle during vacation.� Riding a donkey up a cliff on the Greek isle of Santorini, I mused that I felt like a Pittsburgh Stiller -- riding a jackass (Billy Cowher) and stepping in shit everywhere.�

- I figured this would happened -- the Stillers beat up on one of the very worst, most laughable teams in pro football, and then the Billy Cowher lovers come out of their 5-week hideout and proclaim how great this team is and how great Cowher is at "motivating" the team. No less than 45 NCAA teams could have laid the wood to Arizona this past week.� There are a few more creampuffs on the rest of the schedule, but none are quite as feeble and wretched as the AZ Cards, so temper your praise and enthusiasm until the Stillers finally beat a half-mediocre team.�

- The overworked fallacy being bandied about the Pittsburgh media is that "the Stillers are still in the playoff race, so it's too early to make personnel changes".� To be sure, the race in the AFC North is wide open for anyone and everyone, because of the gross ineptitude among the 4 teams.� (My money's on Cinci to eek it out.)� Here's where the media morons miss the mark.� Making personnel changes -- such as what we saw from the strong play of Townsend and Taylor versus AZ -- are not a carte blanche "throw in the towel".� Personnel changes are the only way -- short of finding a competent head coach -- of righting this ship and making a desperate stab at not only qualifying for the playoffs, but also making a run at the AFC crown.� And if you're not doing everything you can to win the conference and go to the Big Show, why even participate at all?��

- Anyone notice all the PT that Ike Taylor got�..and that the world didn't come to an end?�� That the great Armageddon of having a rookie CB on the football field never occurred?� According to the Billy Cowher School of football, because Taylor is a rookie, the Cards should have scored more than the 77 that OU planted on A&M last weekend.� As I've noted before, Billy Cowher is so terrified of the thought of playing rookies that his sphincter puckers tighter than a drum and he throat nearly shuts, thereby shutting off oxygen flow to the brain.�

- I've harped all season long about the total lack of productivity from the #4 WR spot.� Finally, the Stillers got some in the name of Chris Doering, who went up and made a nice grab on a poorly throw deep ball by Maddox, and also made a nice TD grab.� Question: exactly what took so long to get Doering integrated into this offense??� Oh, yeah, I forgot�.Doering needed 8 weeks to memorize the entire playbook in Mandarin Chinese, Swahili, and Croatian before Billy Cowher felt "comfortable" using him.�

- Burress played like a Jason Gildog, dropping 2 easy passes, 1 of which was a sure TD.� Still, it's hard to fault the man for being frustrated.� He was thrown the ball DOWNFIELD exactly zero times this game.� Burress, thanks to the genius of Billy Cowher, is the epitome of a slugger who's been relegated to bunting and playing hit-and-run.� The guy needs to be thrown the ball downfield, period, regardless of coverage schemes, the phases of the solar eclipse, or any other such bullshit that Punch Ilkin, the Pittsburgh media, and the Steeler coaching staff will throw up as excuses.�

- FatBoy Bettis fumbled away the football again.� Had this been Haynes or Zereoue doing all this fumbling, they'd have been banished by Cowher to Siberia by now.� Bettis?� He'll be right back in the starting lineup next Monday nite�.and for every game thereafter. �And, didn't ya just love the way Bettis just took over the game in the 4th quarter?�� Wow!!�� What a stud.� I'd forgotten just how great he was at "putting the game away in the 4th quarter by wearing down the defense".� Averaging about 1 yard per carry, he sure was an animal in that 4th quarter.��

- Burnt Alexander actually had a pass defenses in the 2Q.� Turned out, of course, that it was far too good to be true, as he was rightfully flagged for PI.� Even before you see the replay, any time you see Burnt defending a pass, the odds of him actually breaking up a pass are so near-impossible that you pretty much have to assume a PI.� �

- Another game complete, another game in which no bone-jarring, tooth rattling hit was laid by a Stiller defender on an opposing player.�

- Despite all the hype and applause for Jason GilDong, by far the biggest sack of the game came from lil' DeShea Townsend, which forced a fumble/turnover and enabled the Stillers to score on the very next play, making the score 21-3.� ��

- Troy Pola had some nice blitz pressure.� Sure, he took a poor angle, too much to the inside, on the first AZ TD, but all in all, his speed and get-up added a nice bit of spice to a defense that's been sorely missing that kind of spice since Rod Woodson and Carnell Lake departed town.� �

- Boneheads like Ted Bouchette will lament about Jay Reim's lack of production.� But lost amidst the shuffle of NFL stats -- most of which have little real meaning -- is that Reim drew a 22-yard PI penalty on a deep seamer that set up Ward's 1st TD.� Then, Reim attracted 2 defenders -- to include a safety -- on the post that Ward caught for his 2nd TD.� That, my friends, is what an all-around TE does for a football team, unlike a 1-dimensional, stonefooted, hamhanded TE like a Mark Bruener.�

- Speaking of Bruener, on Bettis' longest carry of the day -- good for 16 yards -- the Immortal God of Blocking, Mark Breuner, was not in the game.� Tuman was.�

- I often turn down the TV volume during games in order to minimize the drivel of commentators like Ian Idiot and Fat John Madden.� Offhand, I don't know who the 2 commentators were for this past game, but this was, by far, the best crew I've heard in a few years.� �

- Alonzo Jackson was a no-dress for the 6th week in a row.� The guy makes a blunder on spec teams coverage -- as if no one else on a Cowher-coached team ever does -- and now he's in Cowshit's doghouse, banished to wearing street clothes for the rest of the season.� Gee, it sure is nice for a 2nd-round draft pick to ROT, while 2nd rounders all over the league are ON THE FIELD, making an impact.� When it comes to player development, no one does less than Lil' Billy Cowher.�

- On the other hand, you saw a strong game from rookie 2nd rounder Anquan Boldin.� The guy was a former QB and also coming off a knee injury, yet is having one of the greatest rookie WR campaigns ever.� When you allow a young player to PLAY without the encumbrances of paralysis by analysis, you get an Anquan Boldin.� When you don't allow a rookie to play, or you overburden him with bullshit minutia, you get rookie seasons like the ones you've seen from Plex Burress, Troy Pola, Hines Ward, Joey Porter, Amoz Zereoue, Verron Haynes, and others.� �

- The GilDong Report should be out by Wed. evening.�

(Still Mill and Stillers.com -- the only nationally read coverage on the Pittsburgh Stillers that has accurately predicted the how's and the why's of the past 3 Stiller playoff losses�.)