Letterman can't make up stuff this good:
As the papers have reported, "DE Nolan Harrison has a torn right chest muscle after taking most of the season to recover from a torn left chest muscle".
The (sarcastic) word on the streets is that Don Ho is preparing a contract extension for Hot Tub, worth $6 million over two years, or $3 million per chest muscle. Don Ho apparently stated that there are "many teams out there looking at Hot Tub. We need to make our move early before he's taken." Don Ho adroitly moved swiftly last year in a similar manner to ensure coveted players Carlos Emmons and Jon Witman were retained before other NFL teams swooped in to pry them away.
Harrison is also close to signing a deal with California Spas, a hot tub manufacturer, to be their national spokesman. A representative from California Spas told Stillers.com that "We can think of no better spokesman than a man who has spent most of his life in one of our spas."
The Still Mill