OH YEAH?�YEAH,
HUH?
Growin� Up�.
By Swissvale72
President
Bill Clinton, loathed by many, wrote his memoirs upon turning 50, stating that
anyone that makes it to their 50th birthday should write about their
life.
Wish I was
turning 50�.52 is just around the bend�so y�know
what, Asshats�..you might not give a shit�.you might
not want to read this�.but this is about ME�about my experience �Growin� Up� (Bruce Springsteen song, please), playing
football in Western Pennsylvania.
My first
memory is of playing football in the snow�.no practice, pure fun, no pain.� Then, I remember my brother Tony having books
he would show me that had plays diagrammed, written
descriptions of different types of blocks�.I was 10 years old.
I went to
my first Steeler game when I was 10, saw them get
pasted by the Green Bay Packers in 1965�.the Pack starting their run of 3
championships in a row.� Steelers led
9-7, at halftime, lost 41-9�I was hooked!!� I went to 4 Steeler
games that 6th grade year, 2 of them by myself.� I went to every game of the �66 season�most
of them alone�costing me a total of $13 for 7 games, as Upper End Zone seats
cost 3 bucks, discounted to a dollar for Youth Days, which were held 4 times a
season back then.
Then, the Summer of �67 approached�..8th grade�was going to
be my opportunity, finally, to play real football�..junior high football.� I had wanted to play for the McKeesport Little Tigers as a younger boy�but�coming
from a long line of hogs, I was waaaaay too heavy�no
way could I make the weight limit.� Oh�.the
only other time I exceeded a weight limit was in my attempt to ride a donkey to
the floor of the Grand Canyon�I would have broken the poor beast�s back!!� About the long line of hogs though�.true
story�.my dad, when he graduated from Rankin
High School, went to work on the Pennsylvania Railroad�.this was before WWII, the Big One�.and
his later attending Barber
School on the GI
Bill.� Anyway, Dad (rest his soul), no
lie, verified by my aunt (rest her soul, too) took in his lunch, every fuckin� day, 16 sandwiches�.that�s right SIXTEEN!!� His explanation:� �Worked like a jackass; had to eat like one,
too.�� My brother Ralph was so fuckin� fat as a kid that my mom would by him men�s jeans,
cut them off at the knee.� My
grandmother, Nunna, kept feeding us, saying �Benna Thique� (sp?)�means �God
Bless� whenever we were eating, which was like all the time�.we never stopped
stuffing our fat faces.
I know I�m digressing
here.� Work keeps interrupting me.� Anyway, the Summer
of �67, Tony decides he�s going to get me ready for my first season of junior
high football.� His getting me ready, now
I�m 12 years old, he�s nearly 21, involved him beating the livin�
shit out of me every night all summer.� I
had a helmet & shoulder pads.� I�d put them on, we�d go to our backyard, at 1619 Oak Grove Avenue
in Swissvale, and Tony would proceed to kick my ass for a good couple of
hours.� Primarily, he would put a dollar
bill on the ground, tell me I could keep it if I could get it�.then proceed to
knock me to the ground, and use his hands, knees and feet to keep me on the
ground when I attempted to get up.� I did
get that dollar bill a few times.� See,
Tony was virtually loaded�.going into his Senior year
at Penn State, and he had a real job with an
accounting firm that summer�so he was rollin� in
dough.� Another one of his faves�.he�d teach me how to pass block�.in the process he�s
head slap me, ala Deacon Jones, and literally knock me head over heels.� Another drill�..he taught me how to catch
with my hands, by making me stand against the wall, forbidding me to move to
either side, standing 10 yards away, and whipping the ball at me as hard as he
could.� Tony liked kickin�
my ass.� In high school, I came up with a
couple pairs of boxing gloves.� We put
them on, I was peppering him with jabs, feeling very full of myself, he came
around with a hook, knocked me the fuck out!!
Now we had
a bit of an audience.� My friends would
come over�..laugh their fuckin� asses off.� Periodcially, my
Dad would come out, yell at Tony�.�Hey, leave that kid alone.�� Stupid Ass Me would say, �That�s okay, Dad, Iike it.�� A couple
times that summer, Tony had to go away for his job.� It was heavenly !!� A whole week of no daily
ass-kickings.
Now, when drills
started with the team though�.these other eighth graders, they�
d be down in their stances, shit-eating grins, laughing.� Not me�.I was fuckin�
serious�.whipped their asses.� A few
years later in high school, this fat kid from Braddock Hills, Paul Shandrick, parents owned a beer distributor, P& A�.was
on the D-line�I�m blocking him, come up under his chin with a forearm.� Shandrick starts
bitching to my favorite coach, John Siko (that�s
right�SIKO).� �Coach, that boy hit me in
the mouth.�� Siko
turns to me, says, �GOOD; do it again.�
I knew I
had come of age when I was able to beat Tony in our one-on-one football games
in the backyard.� How sick is that
shit.� Just the two of us�..hike the ball
to yourself, try to run over your brother.� Eventually, I was able to run over Tony more
successfully than he was able to run over me.
You Asshats might be getting bored.� Tough shit!! Keep reading.� First game in 9th grade�.now I was
a starter for Dickson Junior High�.we play Edison
Junior High�..may have told this story before�.Tough shit!! Keep reading.� Near the end of this close game, I�m playing
defensive tackle in a 5-3, assigned to the cover the tackle.� Well�.Edison splits their tackle out about 5
yards from their guard.� I didn�t know
what the fuck to do.� I cover the tackle,
back runs through the split for about 20 yards.�
Next play, same fuckin�
thing.� My coach, Henry Clougherty goes apeshit!!�� Next week, there�s a pep rally in the
auditorium before our first home game against Duquesne.� Whole school is there.� Henny gets all of
us on stage, goes down the line, saying a few nice things about every
player.� He gets to me, puts his arm
around me, says to the whole school, �Villiotti here stunk like shit last week.� He doesn�t do better this week,
his ass will be on the bench.�� No one
was aghast, least of all me.� No one was
surprised.� No one was shocked.� This was Henny�..known
to silence a crowd at a Swissvale High School basketball game, when as the team�s
head coach, people gave� him shit for
starting 5 black kids.� Henny went to midcourt�.demanded
silence, challenged anyone to go down to the court, fight� him right then & there.� Oh�.I�m making none
of this up.� I�ll tell you when I�m
spewing bullshit�give you my bullshit warning. THIS is not bullshit.�� BTW�.Duquense
kicked our asses, too��had these 2 huge linebackers, #2 & #3�..kids fuckin� shaved in 9th grade!!� We always suspected that Duquense
had� young
adults playing junior high football.
Okay�.Asshats, I�ll be merciful, skip ahead a few years.� Our high school teams sucked at Swissvale,
went 1-6-2, 2-7, 0-9 in consecutive years�..suffered one knee surgery�.wanted
to play college football in the worst way.�
When younger, I would seriously get down on my knees and pray each night
to play for the Steelers��well, that wasn�t happening, neither was Penn State,
neither was Alabama�.oh, and neither was Clarion for that matter (though I
could have given that a try).� Did talk
with coaches from Columbia
(HAHAHAHAHAHA�.what the FUCK was I thinking of, Stupid Ass like me applying to
an Ivy�they must have looked at my application, laughed their fuckin� asses off!!) and Coast Guard Academy (equally as
funny�..I did get a day off from school to go to the federal building on
Liberty Avenue, had the most complete physical I�ve ever had, including my
first rectal exam�.was like�.what the fuck are they doing to me??...but when
the Admiral asked me WHY I wanted to go to the Coast Guard Academy�.best I
could manage was a meek �I don�t know.�)�
Did meet Tony downtown and went to the Penguins/Blues game that night�..remember
this little girl at the refreshment stand�..brown curls, sparkly eyes�..waaaaaay irrepressible, making mega-demands for her popcorn
& Coke�.wonder whatever happened to her??�
Anyway, Pens won with 3 third period goals.
So�.wanted
to play college football so bad that I went to D-III Lebanon Valley, payed TWICE as much as I would have paid to attend a state
school for the privilege of playing�.tore my knee up somemore�..most
fun I ever had in my life though.
Okay, Asshats�...I�m tired�.I�m tired of kickin�
y�all asses�.makes me tired�..class dismissed!!