Even More New England Drivel

Even More New England Drivel

�an analysis

By Swissvale72

Hey asshats!!  Just got back from the Y, which I frequent often, fighting the losing battle to stem the erosion of chest to mid-section.  I�ve gotta switch gyms though�see more & more disturbing things at this Y.  First, there�s the Fat Fuck that is always standing at his locker naked, reading a paperback book.  I mean he�s a Faaaaaaat Mother-Fucker.  Who the fuck wants to look at that?  Then, I go in today, and there�s some sick fuck drying his genitals with a blow-dryer!!  What the Fuck!!  Does he dry his ass next.  I�m gonna have to pray about this one.  Please, God, please�.tell me that no one from Pittsburgh does shit like that.

Therein lies a good segue.  I�ve taken some questions, some criticism over the past several weeks for rooting for the Boston Red Sox, and for a grudging respect of the hated New England Patriots.  So many of you have seen that as traitorous, or sacrilegious.  Some of you Pittsburgh expatriates have attested to always rooting against the teams from your new locale.

Well, here�s a theory, one of several that I will postulate herein.  A significant factor may be grounded in the time period when one moved to their current region.  Me�.I was fuckin' exiled here to New England, my personal Elba, in September, 1979.  We had a 3^rd Lombardi Trophy in the case.  The Buccos were started on a World Series Run.  A few months in, we had our 4th Super Bowl ring.   Pittsburgh was the City of Champions.  It was easy to be gracious, accommodating�.no sweat to root for the home team, particularly when the home team sucked, was no threat to your #1.  Patriots sucked�..were a fuckin� laughing stock, Sox were okay�..a year removed from the collapse of �78, Bruins actually beat the Penguins in the playoffs that year�.much to my chagrin�..but I generally liked that era of the B�s�O�Reilly, Middleton, Millbury, et al.  Actually, that Bruin edition will be forever in my heart for one of the most biazrro, out of control scenes I ever saw in sports. Who else remembers, Christmas Eve (or thereabouts), 1979�..about 6 Bruins go into the stands in Madison Square Garden during a contest with the Rangers�.beat on the fans.  Mike Millbury�was a close-up of him pulling some poor fuck�s shoe off, and then beating the guy with his own shoe.  So�..I kind of like the B�s.  And�.as a kid growing up in Pittsburgh, my favorite NBA team was the Boston Celtics.  Always rooted for Russell against Wilt�..stayed up way late in 8^th grade, seeing the Celts beat the Lakers, in LA, for their 11^th NBA Championship in 13 years.

My rooting interest, though mild, for the Sox, Bruins & Celts remained.   Bucs were never any threat.  I gloated when the Pens beat the Bruins two years running enroute to the Stanley Cup, sweeping them the 2^nd year.  And, there was clearly no NBA conflict.  And, truthfully��I rooted for the Pats when their interests didn�t run counter to the Steelers.  I rooted for them in the �86 Super Bowl against the Bears�.rooted for them during the reign of Ron Meyer, Raymond Berry, Dick MacPherson, and even for awhile during the Parcells era.  All of that turned, however, during the Fog Bowl game of 1996.  All of my goodwill taken advantage of, my gentle nature violated�.I went to Foxboro, and had to abide fat mother-fuckers getting in my face, roaring with delight.  Wasn�t enough to kick our asses on the field; they had to be assholes about it as well.  �Hope you do better than 46-10 this time,� I responded to chants of the Patriots going to the Super Bowl.  Mother-Fuckers!! That was the day I came to despise the New England Patriots.  Then, as now, I like their coach (The Tuna�..a Fat Fuck�.not The Fat Fuck�.see only fat fucks that are full of shit are dubbed The Fat Fuck�..Tuna, IMO, is decidedly not FOS�..don�t we have a poster, goes by FOS?), but despise, with a fuckin� passion, their decidedly undeserving fan base, some of whom I�m related to by marriage.  Get this, my brother-in-law, wants to go to the Steelers-Pats game, looks for tix on E-Bay�finds standing room seats, and the dumb fuck asks me if he can bring a beach chair into The Razor.

Okay�..I know this is getting long, and I�m getting sick of writing so you simple fucks can read this.  Here�s my theory on Belichick running up the score.  You�re right if you�ve thought that I�ve like Belichick as a coach.  He�s an antisocial, diagnosable prick�.no doubt!!  But he�s a great fuckin� coach.  No life beyond coaching.  I also believe that Belichick had sex with men.   Well, not exactly men.  I think this is how it happened�.when he attended Phillips Andover Academy�..some exclusive fuckin� prep school in Massachusetts. Y�know�..their sister school, Phillips Exeter in New Hampshire was attended by none other than President George W. Bush.  They�re close to the same age.  Do you suppose they got together on weekends?  Do ya think that ol� GWB fucked Beli?  Why not?  GWB fucked the rest of us!!

Beli may be the only homosexual head coach in the NFL.  Who are the other possibilities, though?  Mike Nolan?  Yeah, think so�.GQ, San Fran.  Dick Jauron, maybe.  Yale�.we know the shit that goes on in New Haven.  Tom Coughlin could be one angry homo�.he�d be into all the rough shit.  Andy Reid?  Don�t think so.  And�what about being predisposed �cause of your name.  Romeo Crennell?  Lovie Smith.  Can you hear their conversations.  �Why, hello Romeo�.you�re looking swell.�  �Lovie dear�.no one�s as hot as you.�  Nah�.they�re not gay.  Romeo Crennell�.OMG!!!  A couple of these guys might be more in the bestiality mold.  Mike Shanahan?  I could see Shanny tooling up to Yellowstone, fucking a bison or two, and then back to Mile High.  Hey�Mike Holmgren.   Definitely a product of a man-walrus union himself.  And, these things are generational.  Anyone actually see a pic of his wife.  She was conveniently gone during the SB, remember.  Wasn�t she on a safari or something?

Anyway, I think that�s why Belichick played center�he�d get off when the QB placed his hands though.   More, I think about it, maybe he was abused by the Latin instructor at Andover�..Beli does dress in layers, the hoodie, etc.

Okay�.here�s my theory on his running it up.  The rest of you asshats think he�s been cheating like a motherfucker, think that there�s some big NFL cover-up.  Now�Beli does do shit�.like standing in Marvin Harrison�s way, preventing him from going onto the field following g a pick in the �03 AFCCG.  But�.I bet none of this other shit they were accused of really happened.  And I bet that Belichick, feeling as though he gained negligible competitive advantage by Videogate, is fuckin� ballistic at losing a #1, and has decided to say Fuck You to the NFL by running up the score every week.  And�no one will make him stop except his owner.  And that smug ass, he won�t do a damn thing about it.  Wonder if he wears those cuffs & collars while he�s doing Mrya, or Myra, whatever the fuck her name is.

Started this piece o shit article, then had to go pick up my car from the gas station down the street.  One of my smug ass employees, same fuck that wore the Tretiak jersey, asks me what I think of the Pats �running it up.�  Like so many of these New England motherfuckers, he had not one whit of interest in what I though�.he wanted to tell me what he thought.  Then, the fucker defends this practice simply because �the Patriots are able to score; why shouldn�t they?�  He goes on to say that if Washington didn�t like it, they should have stopped the Pats.  Earth to Stupid Fuck�..Washington obviously wasn�t fuckin� ab;e to stop the Pats�.else they would have done so already.

Alright, sick of writing about this shit�..no doubt you�re sick of reading it.  Laters�