Dick Resigns !! And Dick’s 2014 Game by game breakdown -- The Dick Report (The Farce Exposed)
Our prayers have been answered !! Yes !!! Ha ha !! Dick “The Dullard” LeBeau has finally realized his downfall and his shortfalls, and has quit. Of course, he was forced out, but the Stillers didn’t want to appear to be mean-spirited, so in the spirit of political correctness, it is being labeled a “resignation”. No matter. The key here is that The Supreme Deity of Defensive Coaching is now GONE !! Gonzo !! Outa here!!
Sadly, this firing should have occurred as a resignation right after the Jan. 2009 Sup Bowl. Dick narrowly escaped major humiliation when he pissed away the largest 4Q lead in Sup Bowl history, only to have his bacon saved by Ben and Holmes’ late-game heroics. Since that evening, Dick has been a disgrace, continually getting outfoxed and outdueled, and even making Timmy Tebow look like a cross between Bart Starr, Johnny Unitas, and Roger Staubach. Simply put, it was high time -- and well past time -- for Dick to move on to his life’s work, as the great Chas Noll would have said.
Continuing a task we’ve been doing here for a few years now, we present the game by game breakdown of Dick’s defense’s 2014 season. This shit season for Dick actually began in pre-season, when a Thursday night embarrassing ass-raping – in which Dick stood by helpless as the Philly starting offense and then the 2nd team offense savagely ravaged Dick – hinted at things to come.
(We here at Stillers.com have previously exposed Dick LeBeau for the entire world to see. Those articles can be found here (2013 season), here, here, here, here, and 2011 game-by-game recap here.)
Coach Dick LeBeau feasted on loads of kreme and krimpet all season along, facing one dreg of a QB after another and getting away with shoddy, stale schemes. In the playoffs, he typically gets savagely ravaged and eaten alive, which has occurred in Dick’s past 3 playoff games. (The assraping at the hands of Green Bay; then the Timmy Tebow fiasco; and then Joe Jacco hanging 30 on Dick last weekend.) The farce has indeed been exposed.
I'd quite correctly pointed out ALL season long -- - this defense was a paper tiger, propped up by the kreme and krimpet of weak, inept offenses it faced and an enormous plethora of totally inept QBs. Here is a game-by-game recap of what opponent and what offense this defense faced in 2014.
| W-L | Score | QB faced | Def. Pts allowed | TDs allowed | Rush Allowed | Pass Allowed | INTs | FFs | Notes | ||
| Clev. | W | 30-27 | Brian Hoyer | 27 | 3 | 183 | 230 | 0 | 0 | Dick had the luxury of a 27-3 lead at halftime, and then pissed away the lead by allowing Clev. to score on 4 consecutive 2H possessions. The one drive where Clev was "stopped" for a FG wasn't a stop at all; rather the QB & RB had a miscommo on a 3d down play, and Hoyer swallowed the pigskin for a loss and they settled for a FG. Hoyer was making his 5th ever NFL start. Starting RB Ben Tate and starting TE Jordan Cameron were injured in the 1H and did not return. Terrance West, a greenhorned rookie in his first NFL game, gashed Dick's defense for 100 yards on only 16 carries. | |
| @ Balt. | L | 26-6 | Flacco | 26 | 2 | 160 | 166 | 0 | 0 | Jacco had all day in the pocket the entire game, and was never once harassed, much less sacked, and was 21 of 29. 35-year old Steve Smith was given huge, 12-yard cushions. The 2 TD drives were 80 and 85 yards long. Balt also scored on 4 consecutive possessions in the 2H. Bernard Peirce gashed Dicks' vaunted defense for 96 yards on 22 carries. In the 3Q, PIT cut the lead to 10-6, but sure as shit, Dick allows a long march of 80 yards for a TD, allowing Balt to boost its lead back to 11 and get its crowd back into the game. |
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| @ Carolina | W | 37-19 | Newton | 19 | 2 | 42 | 250 | 0 | 1 | QB Cam Newton was slowed by a balky ankle, and he finished with only 2 rushes for 7 yards. Starting RB DeAngelo Williams & WR J. Cotchery did not dress. Lone def. turnover was created by a Jarvis Jones FF. Other turnover was in punt coverage, on a FF by Sharko Thomas. |
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| vs. Tampa | L | 27-24 | Glennon | 27 | 3 | 63 | 302 | 1 | 0 | Glennon, a 2d year backup QB, was making the start due to McCown's injury. WR Louis Murpohy was signed off the street just 5 days prior. QBs coach Marcus Arroyo — filling in for offensive coordinator Jeff Tedford, who had heart surgery — couldn't get the play call to Glennon on time at least 6 or 7 times during this game. WR Mike Evans missed 97% of the 2H due to a groin pull. The Succaneers scored a touchdown on their opening possession of the first and second half, keeping alive a streak in which the opponent has scored either a touchdown (5) or field goal (3) at the start of every half this season. Defense allowed 245 passing yards in 2H. TB took over at the PIT 46, 0:40 left in game, down by 4, with 0 timeouts, and promptly marched for a TD in 5 plays to win the game with just a few seconbds left. Lone turnover was a classic Dong, er Dick, turnover, when WR Mike Evans pulled his groin on a fly route and pulled up lame, and Cortez basically fair cauvght the deep lob. |
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| @ Jax | W | 17-9 | Bortles (rookie) | 9 | 0 | 56 | 191 | 2 | 0 | Dick once again got to feast on a greenhorned rookie QB, and a hapless 0-4 Jax team. The 2 INTs were both Dong INTs on hideous passes thrown by a greenhorned rookie QB. Blake got a Dong INT on a hideous pass and returned it for a TD. |
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| @ Clev | L | 31-10 | Hoyer | 31 | 4 | 158 | 217 | 0 | 1 | Hoyer completed only 8 passes, but they were good for 27 yards per attempt. Dick got ass-raped in the 2Q, giving up TDs on THREE consecutive drives. On the 3rd drive, starting center Alex Mack broke his leg, buty Clev continued the march for another 8 plays and scored as easy as pie. Lone turnover came on a Mitchell FF at the end of a TEN yard run by a Clev RB, Crowell. Hoyer finished game with 113 QB rating. |
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| vs. Hous | W | 30-23 | Fitzpatrick | 23 | 2 | 132 | 262 | 1 | 2 | Dick had the luxury of facing a dreg QB who was 30-51-1 as an NFL starter. As usual, in the 1Q, Dick allowed a 94 yard TD march to give HOU the early lead. - The lone INT was a classic Dong INT. The short pass was finger-nipped by Keisel, and then bounced off the helmet of Timmons and then back into the hands of Keisel. If you tried this 999 times, you couldn't get the football to bounce just right like this. - Both FFs were basically Dong FFs. On the first, Worilds got a love tap on Foster at the end of a short carry, and Foster butterfingerly just coughed the ball up. The ball wasn't raked at all, nor was it a brutally hard hit. - The 2nd FF was a Dong FF by Mitchell, who had just allowed a 32-yard pass play, and then pawed away a ball that was being carelessly held onto by the WR, Hopkins. Dick's defense was actually outgained by the lowly Texan offense, 393 to 328. Fitzhue finished with a 98.7 QB rating. |
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| vs. Indy | W | 51-34 | Luck | 34 | 4 | 81 | 400 | 1 | 0 | Indy was missing trusty veteran WR Reggie Wayne, due to injury. - Gay had a rare Pick 6, grabbing an out pass and taking it 33 yds for a TD. - PIT offense totally dominated TOP, 40 minutes to 20. - Dick's defense got a Dong safety, when Luck tripped on his own feet after the snap, and then, while lying flat on his back, threw a pass into the flat to no one, which was ruled Int Grounding in the EZ. |
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| vs. Balt. | W | 43-23 | Jacco | 23 | 3 | 63 | 303 | 1 | 1 | Dick promptly allowed a TD on Balt’s 2nd possession, a one-play drive in which Jacco casually lobbed a deep rainbow lob for an easy 35-yard TD. On this play, Dick used the clever tactic of having his free safety, Mitchell, mill around near the LOS for about 3 seconds, and then rush the passer, doing NOTHING at all while McCain got left out to dry in deep solo coverage. Brilliant ! That Dick -- he’s just so clever ! The Stillers took a 14-7 lead late in the 2Q, but sure as a bear poops in the woods, Dick promptly allowed a 10-play, 49-yard march, which culminated in a chippie FG to slice the lead to 4. INT was on a Tomczakian lob to NO ONE, which Worilds basically fair caught -- a la Larry Brown in Sup Bowl 30 -- for a Dong INT. |
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| @ NY Jets | L | 20-13 | Vick | 20 | 2 | 150 | 132 | 0 | 0 | Vick started for only the 2nd time this season. For the 8th time in 10 games, Dick's vaunted D allowed a game-oping scoring drive. This one was a lonnnng, methodical FG march of 14 plays, 72 yards, chewing up nearly 8 minutes of cliock. On the very next drive, Dick allows a PAP deep ball, good for a 67-yard /TD?, thereby putting the team into a 10-0 hole. |
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| @ Tenn. | W | 27-24 | Mettenberger | 24 | 3 | 49 | 263 | 1 | 0 | Dick had his weekly luxury, this week getting to face a greenhorned rookie QB (Mettenberger) making his third NFL start and still looking for his first NFL win. Dick was gifted a 10-0 lead, but sure enough, Dick quickly allowed Tenn to march 67 yards for a TD. Dick would have allowed a long TD march, next drive, but a WIDE open McCluster dropped an easy slant pass that should have and would have been an easy TD. Tenn had to settle for a PAT-like FG. Tenn took over at its own 20, late in the 2Q, with only 40 seconds left in the half. FORTY SECONDS. What does Dick do….? Why, he has Mitchell up FIVE yards off the LOS, and Will Allen only TEN yards off. There is ZERO DEEP HELP, at all, on the play, and Nate Washington hauls in a deep lob with no defender within 15 yards for a walk-in 80-yd. TD. You have to be utterly daft and retarded to set up a defense like this, with so little time left in the half. In the 3Q, Tenn took over at its own 23, and then marched….and marched….and marched….11 plays, 77 yards, for a TD to go up 24-13. A tight end with six (6) career receptions, suddenly became Tony Gonzalez on this drive, catching 3 passes, including the TD. We can all thank the heavens that the O was able to chew up the remaining clock in the 4Q. Had they not, it was quite easy to see Dick and his Softee Defense allowing a tying FG, if not a cake-easy go-ahead TD |
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| vs. N.O. | L | 35-32 | Brees | 35 | 5 | 143 | 257 | 0 | 0 | Stiller offense dominated play and TOP in the 1Q, and it was 3-0 PIT after 1Q. It was soon 6-0, but then the roof caved in, as Dick got gashed like a Russian whore by a lonely KGB agent. Dick had the luxury of facing Brees in Pittsburgh. Dick also had the luxury of facing a team coming off a MNF game, meaning the Aints had only 4 days to prepare. Aints were w/o leading WR, Brandin Cooks. To add to Dick’s luxury, star TE Jimmy Graham was evidently hobbled with an unknown injury, and was never targeted, not even once, the entire game. The Aints scored on 5 of 6 possessions in the 2Q/3Q/4Q to turn a close game into a laughable blowout. They’d have surely scored more, but in the 4Q were content to turtle the ball and then punt, what with their ginormous lead. Early on, N.O. got into the holiday mood, dropping two passes on their opening drive. On the next drive, WR Kenny Stills was WIDE open on a deepish post, good for an easy 6, but Brees overthrew him by about 13 feet. In the 2Q, Dick got gashed for an 8-play, 79 yard TD march, with most of the yardage coming on huge chunks via the ground. Dick promptly followed up that spewed vomit, by allowing an 80-yard TD march. Bell scored to make in a 21-13 game, 4:00 4Q. Sure as shit , Dick allows N.O. to storm back & score a backbreaking TD. This came on a 3d & 10, in which Dick brought ZERO pressure at all, which allowed Brees an ETERNITY back in the pocket, calmly scanning all over the field before finding a WIDE open Stills down the sideline for a 69-yard TD. If there’s even an ounce of pressure on this play, Brees never has the time to find Stills and hit him with a pass. With 2 weeks to prepare, what does he do…? Jack fuking shit NOTHING. No pressure. No harassment. Brees could have boiled tea and ate crimpets, totally unfettered, while casually standing around back in the pocket. Brees went 19 of 27, and at least 4 of those incompletions were dropped passes. 13 days to prepare, and nothing but vanilla pabulum from this over-rated fraud of a coordinator. Just look at the scoring drives….! 79 yards. 80 yards. 15 yards. 89 yards. 80 yards. The 15 yarder was after a Ben INT, but every other drive was basically the entire length of the field. Let us not forget -- in the past 3 games, Dick’s vaunted defense has allowed TD passes of 67, 80, and 69 yards. In the past 3 games, Dick’s vaunted defense has forced exactly 1 turnover. The tackling technique was utterly pitiful the entire game. It was readily obvious that this team didn’t practice live tackling, AT ALL, during the 2 week layoff. Nice preparation, Dick, you dick. Armed with the bye week and 13 (thirrteen) days to prepare, the best Dick could do was this steaming pile of horseshit.? One measly, meaningless sack. ZERO turnovers. No pressure on Brees for nearly the entire ballgame. And Mark Ingram running wild through gaping holes in Dick’s Softee Defense. Dick clearly fell asleep after the 1st quarter, and then was brutally sodomized and ass-raped by the New Orleans attack. |
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| @ Cinci | W | 42-21 | Dalton | 21 | 3 | 86 | 327 | 0 | 1 | The Stillers grabbed the early 7-0 lead, but sure as shit, Dick pisses away the lead faster than a skunk pisses on an attacker. Once again, Dick and his vaunted defense were helpless against the deep ball, with a 56-yard completion to Green to set up the score. Dick then gets BAMBOOZLED by a Dalton keeper...! They'd carried out that fake like 2-3 times this game, and I was just waiting for them to have Dalton keep it. Worilds and Pola, among others, jumped at the dive play in a ridiculously stupid manner. There were already like 6 defenders, already in place, to make the stop of the plunge. We’ve seen this bad movie before, such as Terrell Pryor’s QB keeper for 93-yards in last year’s loss to OAK. You can always count on Dick and his defense to get sucked in and fooled. Then, on the final play of the 3Q, Dick’s Softee Defense again allows a deep ball, this one good for an 81-yard TD. Preparation and adjustments by Dick -- NON EXISTENT Dick’s defense finally produced a FF…..with 23 seconds left in the game in garbage time against a shit backup QB in Jason Campbell. |
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| @ Atlanta | W | 27-20 | Ryan | 20 | 2 | 97 | 310 | 1 | 1 | Dick had the luxury of facing an Atlanta offense missing superstar WR Julio Jones, who sat out with an injured hip. This fellow hauled in 259 yards of receiving in their game last week. To add to Dick’s luxuries, starting ATL OG Jon Asamoah was injured in the 2Q. Dick was gifted a 20-7 halftime lead. Sure as shit, on the very first play from scrimmage in the 2H, Dick gets gashed for 46 yards on a bubble screen. Then, a 16-yard completion. A holding flag and a bobbled catch derailed the ATL march, but not before they got a chippie FG to make it a 10-point game. (This drive traveled “only” 70 yards…) Dick then allowed a 13-play, 75-yard march, which culminated in a chippie 22-yard FG to make it a 7-point game at 2:40 3Q. Leveon Bell scored early in the 4Q to make it look like a commanding 27-13 lead, but sure as shit, Dick promptly allowed the Falcons to methodically march 84 yards on 10 plays for an easy TD, making it a nail-biting 7-point lead. The only productive thing this defense managed to do was Gay’s pick-6 in the 1H. And there was nothing in that INT that was schematic; it was all, remarkably enough, a sheer athletic play by Gay. |
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| vs. KC | W | 20-12 | A. Smith | 12 | 0 | 39 | 311 | 0 | 0 | Dick had his weekly luxury of a star opponent hobbled, this week being Dwayne Bowe, who suffered from the flu all week and had to get IVs continually during the week. Dick also had the luxury of facing an inept KC offense, which had the fewest completions in the NFL over 20 yards in the air, and had not thrown a single TD pass to a WR all season. Not one. Of course, chief (sic) among this sickly KC offense is QB Alex Smith, who enjoys nothing more than throwing piss-ant lil’ 3-yard passes on nearly every down. Dick was given an early 3-0 lead. Sure as shit, Dick pisses it away at lightning speed, allowing a lonnnggg, clock-chewing march that went 14 plays and consumed over 7 minutes of clock. On a 3d & 16, opening series, Dick goes soft, allowing a 19 yard completion. 2nd series - 3d & 8 on the PIT 30, and Dick goes soft again, allowing an easy 13 completion to Bowe. Remember, Bowe is the weakling drained by the flu, so instead of sending waves of defenders to knock the piss out of Bowe on every single play, Dick HELPS the guy out by playing soft, 12-yard cushions, and having defenders avoid Bowe as though he had the Ebola virus…..! What a complete fuking retard. Dick didn’t have a defender press or jam Bowe THE ENTIRE game. Dick’s entire starting defense was on the field for a shorty FG deep in PIT territory in the 2Q, and as usual, Dick gets tooled on a fake, allowing a 1st down on a fake FG What a riot -- The Vaunted, “legendary” Dick LeBeau, getting tooled by Fat Andy Reid !! LMAO !! And do not forget -- that alignment and the PLAYCALL was ALL by Dick......dropping the “RDE”, Gay, back and to the INSIDE, which simply GAVE the Chefs the corner on that play. Only Dick could devise such an imbecilic scheme. Throughout the 1st half, Dick allowed Alex “Unitas” Smith to go 15 of 20 for 177, and never forced a punt. In fact, KC totally dominated TOP in the half. Dick was given an early Xmas present, when Jamaal Charles got his ankle nicked up, early 3Q. As noted above, Dick’s defense was burned,as it often has been this season, on a deep post that should have been a long KC TD, but Smith badly was off target, as he has been ALL season long on downfield passes. As noted above, Dick also had the luxury of facing an inept KC offense, which had the fewest completions in the NFL over 20 yards in the air and had not thrown a TD pass to a WR all season. Yet there was Dick, having his DBs play super softee, with 12 yard cushions…! Of course, Dick managed to allow Alex Smith -- the queen of mediocre QBing -- to have his 1st 300-yard game of the season. And here are the points the Chefs have scored in their eight road games this year: 17, 34, 17, 23, 17, 20, 14, 12 (today). They've been held under 20 five (5) times. Sure enough, there are idiots galore, all over the country, singing Dick’s praises today, as though he shut down the ’84 Dolphins. Don’t be a fool and be fooled by this average performance against a mediocre opponent with 2 hobbled star players (Bowe, Charles). |
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| vs. Cinci | W | 27-17 | Dalton | 17 | 2 | 116 | 244 | 2 | 2 | Dick once again had his weekly luxury. This week, he got to face, at home, a team who had to play MNF 6 days prior to the game. This, of course, occurred when the Saints came to town, and of course they ravaged Dick’s Softee Defense the way a shark ravages a carcass. But wait, there’s more…! Not only did Dick get the luxury of hosting a team that has only 4 days of preparation, but the starting QB (Dalton) had been ill all week, and the star WR (Green) got injured in the MNF tilt and barely played. In the 1Q, starting TE Jermaine Gresham got nicked up and barely played therafer, adding to Dick’s comfy luxury. As if all that weren’t enough, AJ Green got a head injury with 4 minutes left in the game. Dick was handed a 7-0 lead, but sure as a monkey craps in the jungle, Dick quickly allows Cinci to score on a 42-yard TD march. Dick was tooled on a 4th & 3 that kept the drive alive, and then allowed a 17-yard TD pass to Bernard on 3d & 6. If there is a 3rd down to be pissed away, you can put your money on Dick to oblige. Dick dodged a bullet on the first drive of the 2H, allowing a long, laborious Cinci drive of 11 plays, but Nugent missed a 50-yard FG that would have cut the deficit to 7. Ben threw a pick late in the 3Q, but Cinci took over on its own 11. No problem….playing at home, with the boisterous crowd. Force a punt, and the O takes over around midfield. Nope, not The Retard, Dick LeBeau. Dick allows a march just about as long as the Bataan Death March, of 15 plays, 89 yards to cut the deficit to 3. Let’s not crow about the turnovers Dick “created”. The McCain INT in the 1Q was clearly a Dong INT, when the WR stopped his route and the QB tossed a deep lob to no one. The 2nd McCain INT was also a Dong INT, when the ball clanged off Green’s hands and softly into McCain’s waiting arms. The FF was by a WR who, 6 days prior, left a game with an injured bicep, and surely was far from 100% in his strength and dexterity for holding onto the pigskin |
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| Totals | 10 | 9 | Feeble as shit turnover stats for a 16-game season. | ||||||||
| vs. Balt | L | 30-17 | Jacco | 30 | 3 | 53 | 259 | 0 | 1 | Dick had his weekly luxury, this week being that of facing a decimated OL, with 2 rookie starters and a OG moved to OT. Of course, at no time during the entire game did Dick take any advantage of this. The 1st PIT off drive chewed up 7-1/2 minutes and pinned BAL on their own 7. The 2nd PIT drive chewed up 5-1/2 minutes of the 1Q clock. That’s THIRTEEN minutes of 1st Qtr clock chewed. When the 1st half ended, the PIT offense had dominated TOP, 20:55 to 9:05, with Balt having only 3 drives, but Balt owned the 10-9 lead, all thanks to Dick and his Softee Defense. The Balt TD drive was 80 yards long, and the FG drive in the 2Q was 70 yards, meaning neither was of the chippie variety. The TD drive was mostly the Ravens just jamming the ball down Dick’s throat as though he were a homo porn star, all the while with Dick standing there, ossified as ever, playing a bland, vanilla defense that didn’t FORCE anything. On the opening drive of the 2H, Dick had the Rats in a 3d & 14, thanks, of course, not to anything Dick did, but to Jacco slipping on 2d down and losing 4 yards. What does Dick do? He blitzes, but then has Blake playing, oh, about 13 yards off the ball, and Jacco is able to EASILY hit Smith for a quick slant that gained an easy 17 yards. You know Jacco has to get rid of the ball quickly, so what does Dick do….? He plays RIGHT INTO Jacco’s hands by placing Blake a country mile off the LOS. As it turned out, Dick allowed a NINE play, 54-yard march for a BALT FG to boost the Rats’ lead to 13-9. A shit defensive effort by a shit defensive coordinator. At 10:10 4Q, Dick had a comfy 3d & 13 at the Balt 34. A forced punt here allows the Stillers to go back to attacking the weak Balt secondary. But no. As always, Dick used his softee scheme and allowed a 23-yard gainer to Daniels. Dick soon allowed a 34-yard TD pass, but Smith could get only 1 foot inside the back of the EZ. The Ratbirds got a FG, though, to boost their lead to 23-15. Right after the Suggs INT, Dick, for like the FOURTH time in the game, was totally unprepared and then bamboozled on a Jacco bootleg, this one going for a 21-yard TD that basically salted away this game. Stat of the nite -- the Rats had to punt only TWICE all evening (aside from a safety punt). Just twice, thanks to Dick and his Softee, cream-puff defense. Other stat of the nite -- taking away kneel down “drives” late in each half, the Rats scored on 6 of 9 possessions. SIX OF NINE, showing how feeble and decrepit Dick’s Softee Defense was. Other key of the nite -- Dick, playing at HOME, managed to make Joe Jacco look like Roger Staubach. Jacco went 18 of 29 for 259, with 2 TDs, 0 INTs, and a 62% passing percentage. And the constant, continual 3rd down conversions on 3rd & LONNGGG were simply fuking hideous. ONE sack all nite, and very, very little pressure |
As can be seen, loads of kreme and krimpet, and loads of shoddy, entirely subpar results given the plethora of shitbag QBs this defense should have feasted upon. Brian Hoyer (twice). Mike Glennon. Blake Bortles. Mike Vick. Zach Mettenberger. Ryan Fitzpatrick. Alex Smith, the Queen of the 3-yard pass. They all suck ass as NFL QBs. And as noted above, Dick continually had 1 luxury after another….a hobbled Cam Newton. A missing Julio Jones. A sickly Dwayne Bowe. And the list goes on and on and on.
You’ll hear babble about how the Stiller defense “improved in the 2nd half of the season” and how the “defense really poured it on late in the season”. They didn’t improve at all; rather, they played a collective bag of inept offenses and incompetent QBs. They looked good, for example, when facing KC in the 15th game. That was QB Alex Smith, who treats a football as though it were a shotput and despises the idea of any pass longer than 4 yards past the LOS. When they faced competent offenses with good QBs, such as Brees and Luck, they were lit on fire as though they were doused in kerosene. Mike Dumblin took forever -- well over 5 years -- to get the courage to run Dick out, and we can assume the latest playoff loss finally pushed Dumblin to act. Presumably, Dumblin had seen enough softee schemes on 3d & 13, when Dick lined up his CBs some TWELVE yards off the ball and allowed Jacco to play pitch n’ catch with receivers for cake-easy 1st down conversions. That, and the fact that Jacco had enough time to casually sip tea and nibble on English muffins while standing totally unfettered back in the pocket.
As usual, Dick’s Softee Defense™ did jack dick in terms of FORCING and CREATING turnovers. Diabolical schemes that confused the greenhorn QB? ? NONE. “Clever disguises” ? NONE. Harassment and heat on the QB? NONE. Perhaps the worst stat is the same-old shit of minimal turnovers. It’s been going on since 2011, with no end in sight. For the amount of salcap and high draft picks invested in this defense, it sucks ass. The primary problem, of course, is Dick and his Softee Defense™, with its schemes of the softee sitback. When ya play soft n’ passive, ya don’t create turnovers. The only turnovers you’re likely to get, are when the opponent is simply careless or butter-fingered. Sure enough, though, you’ll continue to be inundated with babble about Dick’s “diabolical schemes” and “clever disguises”. Clever disguises?? He didn’t stop jack shit this season, despise facing offenses that are jack shit. Clever disguises, my ass. More like Dick cleverly disguising himself as a competent NFL coordinator.
Then there's Dick just FALLING ASLEEP at the wheel. CONSTANTLY. In nearly EVERY game. There's 12 seconds left in the Tampa game, ball at the PIT 5. TB has ZERO timeouts left. The Bucs MUST throw the ball into the EZ, as ANYTHING stopped short will NEVER, EVER enable their offense to get off another snap. A defense has 2 choices here -- go JAILHOUSE at a shit, greenhorn QB, or FLOOD the end zone with about 7 defenders. What does Dick, The Supreme Deity of Defense, do ? NEITHER !! He plays it STRAIGHT UP VANILLA, with no big rush and only 4 defenders in the EZ, so that Glennon has NO ONE in his face, and his WR has to beat only ONE defender. That's STUPID FUK coaching, no matter what some fuking idiot might try to quibble about. James Harrison, BAD KNEE and all, at 36 years of age, played in all but THREE snaps versus N.O. WHY ????? That's just fuking stupid. Harrison hasn't been an EVERY DOWN LB since like 2012. It's just another example of a Def Coordinator falling asleep at the wheel, derelict of duty.
Of course, the latest excuse by Dick’s legions of proselytizers was the tired old saw of, “It’s not Dick’s fault…..just look at the talent he is stuck with…” What tripe. For starters, the mark of a truly GREAT coach is getting more than the sum of the parts he is given. Any coach could take, say, 9 All Pro’s and 2 fellows who were snubbed out of a Pro Bowl slot, and lead an effective defense. No shit. A trained chimpanzee could coach those 11 defenders to provide effective play. There are well over a dozen NFL coordinators who had far less to work with, yet did far, far more than Dick feebly did this season. It’s hypocrisy at its worst when Dick’s defense was “the #1 ranked defense”, and Dick was lauded as THE man responsible, yet when his defense sucks ass, suddenly Mister Teflon has no responsibility or culpability whatsoever. Which is it ?? If the man is responsible for the #1 ranked defense”, then, by logic, he’s equally responsible for the shit defense this franchise has fielded the past 4 seasons.
Furthermore, the Dick proselytizers forget one small fact. Dick, without question, had a major hand in the talent he was provided. Don’t forget -- Dick is “the revered Hall of Fame DB who has been in the NFL for 58 seasons…” as we are reminded on EVERY single telecast. That said, do you really think that Dick somehow is NOT included in the pre-draft analysis, as well the evaluation of current players who receive new contracts (e.g., Queertez Allen) and outside players who are considered to be FA signings (eg. Fat Cam Thomas, Mike Bitchell) ?? Of course he was !! GM Kevin Doltbert would never, ever make a decision on a current defender, or signing an outside FA defender, without consulting with Dick himself to get Dick’s assessment of that player’s skills and his fit within Dick’s overly complicated system. Sure enough, there are imbeciles who think Dick literally was kept completely in the dark, with ZERO input, on these decisions. For those idiots, I have oceanfront property for sale in Iowa. So if Queertez Allen sucks ass, or Cam Thomas and Mike Bitchell suck ass, Dick has no one to blame but himself for approving those moves. Sure, could Dick have said no to these moves and then was out-voted by Doltbert ? Yes, sure. And then Dick could have done the honorable thing and resigned, rather than continuing to milk hundreds of thousands of dollars in salary and presiding over a softee, diarrhea-laden defense.
Fact is, the defense under Dick became, for years, soft, predictable, and lacking any kind of exploitation of opposing weaknesses or any exploitation of overloads or favorable matchups. Remember, not every offensive player Dick’s defense faced was Hall of Fame material. Not every blocker was Anthony Munoz or Tony Boselli, and not every RB or WR was Gale Sayers or Jerry Rice. Dick, and his brainless Softee Defense, just made it seem that way.
LeBeau, obviously, HAD to go. His schemes were tired, worn, and as out of date as a leisure suit. 27th this season in pass defense, which completely sucks ass. Supposedly the "mastermind " who has "diabolical schemes" and "clever disguises", LeBeau fooled NO ONE in the past 5+ seasons; he tricked NO ONE; he confused NO ONE; and he did NOTHING out of the ordinary.
Sadly, there was blindness amid the Steeler fan base, and it involved the blind, Jim Jones-type worship and adulation of a defensive coordinator who has gotten worse and worse, and more inept, as each year went by since that Sup Bowl win over AZ. It involved the blind worship and adulation of a defensive coordinator who:
- urinated away a 4th quarter lead, at home, in the Jan. 2008 home playoff loss
- urinated away a THIRTEEN point lead in the Super Bowl in Jan. 2009, and only Ben and Holmes' heroics saved him from disgrace
- urinated FIVE 4th quarter leads in the NON-playoff 2009 season
- got savagely shredded and picked apart in the 2011 Super Bowl.
- got savagely shredded and picked apart by THE WORST QB in the entire NFL in the playoff loss vs. Denver.
- got savagely ravaged, at HOME, in a wildcard playoff game against Joe Jacco and that mighty Raven offense.
Gee, that's some track record !! Quick -- someone submit this to the Hall of Fame !! In his last 3 playoff games, he was assraped by Green Bay; then torched by Little Timmy Tebow; and then ravaged by Joe Jacco….with all 3 being hideous, embarrassing losses.
Of course, The Almighty Lord & Deity of Defensive Football has a long track record of choking and gagging late in games.
Little explanation is required, aside from the obvious conclusion that Dick LeBeau is a late-game choker of monumental proportions, who has no peer when it comes to gagging and choking away a late-game lead.
Of course, you’ll hear furious babble and proselytizing trying to rationalize and justify Dick’s enormous shortcomings. But it all adds up to insurmountable evidence of how very little productive coaching and tactics Dick actually did, in comparison to the worship and adulation the man received.
Worse, Dick stubbornly and selfishly insisted on staying in his job FOREVER, much like another geezer whose time had long passed, Joe Paterno. Don’t let anyone tell you it wasn’t selfish…very clearly, it was. Dick and JoePa selfishly insisted in holding onto the job for their version of infinity and righteous self-entitlement, despite all evidence of how things were going downhill, and fast.
Of course, now Dick, all full of bravado, is insisting that he “isn’t retiring”, hinting that he’ll be working somewhere else in the ’15 season? Yeah, sure….for whom?? The defunct Pittsburgh Power? Or perhaps a local high school team?? News to Dick -- there ain’t no NFL team foolhardy enough to give a Def. Coord. job to a 78-year old geezer who falls asleep on the job on a routine basis. None.
"3:16 LeBeau” (316 passing yards allowed to Timmy Tebow in the Jan. 2012 playoff loss), aka Mister 55 (most points ever allowed by the Steelers, in the 2013 loss to New Eng. – aka “The Most Overrated Coordinator in the entire NFL." We here at Stillers.com were the first to expose The Dick as the farce that he became. The very first. We exposed, and now Dick feebly crawls into the night, cowering from the humiliation of his dismissal. Bye bye, Dick !!!
(Still Mill and Stillers.com -- when it comes to the analysis of the Pittsburgh Stillers, no one else comes close….)
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