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Palmers Sup Bowl Preview

January 31, 2015 by Palmer Sucks



Palmer’s Bowl Preview

Special by PalmerSucks

January 29, 2015

 

I got a lot of feedback from last week’s commentary, so let me talk about that before I get to the game. Specifically I want to hit on a key point I still think some readers are missing.

 

When I talk about how an owner’s views affect things on the field, I’m being literal. Artie 2.0’s love of ground-pound football is no secret, and if he’s mentioned it in public we can only imagine how he’s harped on it in private to his staff. And since the guy who signs the front of the checks has the opinion that matters, everything follows from there.

 

Of course, having the most power doesn’t always mean you make the best decisions. Let me give you two examples of these interference infractions:

 

1. Remember Bruce Arians and all that “mutual parting” garbage? Arians and his downfield schemes were sent packing to make way for Todd Haley -- with the mandate of implementing a quick-release passing game, in theory to cut down on sacks. Or in other words, to directly affect the playing style of the QB. (Arians, of course, turned out to be so inept, he’s up for NFL Coach of the Year.)

 

2. All spring long and into the summer we heard the team sing the praises of Justin Brown, aka “the man who kept Martavis Bryant on the bench.” Why, I couldn’t understand, as he seemed to show little in the pre-season. Then it came out that team just loved his blocking skills, and on came the light bulb: “ah, Stillers football!” Watching Brown’s limp performances knowing all the while what Bryant was capable of drove me into a flying, foaming rage. Finally when – and only when – Brown’s poor play couldn’t be tolerated any longer did Bryant make an appearance. “Team favorite” Justin Brown is now of course no longer even a member of the team. Nice job there.

 

Point #2: I’ve heard a few people claiming Bell’s loss shouldn’t have mattered since he didn’t gain that many yards when the Stillers crushed Baltimore back in November. Which of course misses the point. Losing Bell went far beyond what they lost in the run game. In fact Bell’s loss affected the passing game probably even more.

 

Bell’s multi-skill set includes being a whiz at things like blitz pick-up (for which Blount would’ve come in handy). With Bell gone, the Ravens sent the house – had Le’veon been in the game they’d have known better. Bell would’ve lit them up in the short passing game. That’s why, on that fateful Sunday Night, I had a sick feeling that the Stillers playoff chances went down with Bell. The precious balance had gone out of their offense.

 

How about another example of Stillers’ management in action, to brighten your day? Enjoy: 

http://sports.yahoo.com/blogs/nbc-yahoo-sports/le-veon-bell-s-pending-suspension-is-result-of-steelers--blunder-210034651.html;_ylt=A0LEV78ukMhUbVoAeXMPxQt

 

--Would having had Blount on the roster guaranteed victory over the Ravens? Of course not. However, it would have prevented the Stillers from making some in-game blunders. Blount’s presence would’ve meant the team never has to yank Ben Tate off the street mere days before the game. Tate was largely responsible for the “turning point” play that sealed the game – his absence would’ve been addition by subtraction.

 

OK then, on to the game.

 

First, may I say, though he is such a dreamboat, I am thoroughly tired of hearing about Tom Brady’s balls. Deflategate may be fine to fill dead media time, but really this is, pardon the pun, a lot of hot air. Saggy footballs didn’t help Blount lay a buck-fifty on the Colts, and while I’m all for nailing Darth Belichick and his minions, this isn’t the time.

 

Unfortunately, Bob Kraft and his whole public “you’re going to owe us an apology! nyah!” routine made sure the stupid thing stayed alive. Yeah sure Bob, you and poor Bill are the victims here, oh however could we suspect him of cheating? I think I speak for most fans when I use the old Al-Pacino-Godfather-Three “just when I think I was out…” quote here. Enough already.

 

You want to cut out the cheating? Change the rule. Let the quarterback choose however hard or saggy his wants his footballs to be – just make sure you give each guy equal say.

 

For the Super Bowl, for instance, you’d have 12 balls handed in from Brady and 12 handed in from Russell Wilson. Then you’d hire an armed guard to stand over the pile. The first half you play with one set, the second half the other. End of problem. Cheating only works when the other guy can’t do it – which after all is why the Patriots deserved to get busted for Spygate.

 

This Super Bowl matches up Seattle and New England, the best team from the better conference, and the best the AFC has to offer. Call it “Dirty Bowl” as it also matches the league’s two shadiest coaches, Pete the Cheat Carroll and Crooked Bill Belichick. Playbook stealing, sneaky-peek videos, PEDs – whether it’s bailing on a chick or on a university before the shit hits the fan, these two have been there and deviously done that. Lord only knows the kinds of tricks these two murky magicians have up their sleeves for the game.

 

Actually, it’s all the chicanery that makes the match-up fascinating. How will Seattle deal with New England’s eligible-ineligible receivers shell game? How will the Pats handle Seattle’s clutchy-grabby defense, a problem that the Patriots are the ones usually dishing out?

 

I’m also fascinated by this game because I want to see how Seattle fares against New England as opposed to Denver. Last year the Seahawks flattened the Broncos in what turned out to be a bore of a Bowl. But Brady’s a more playoff-clutch QB than Manning, and John Fox is no Belichick. I expect this to be a much better game.

 

KEY MATCH-UP

 

To me, Super Bowl XLIX comes down to one key match-up: the New England run defense versus the Seattle run game, and bucking bull Marshawn Lynch. Belichick always schemes to take the one thing you do best away (which is why I would’ve loved to see the Stillers make it to New England with a healthy Bell – and a dual-threat running and passing attack). I believe Belichick will stack the box, stick Revis on his island, and dare the Seahawks to beat him through the air.

 

New England will have to limit long scoring drives, as I also expect Seattle to put more pressure on Brady than he’s faced this year. As previous Bowls have shown, the privileged pretty boy doesn’t care much for contact, sending him screaming at both his o-lineman and the referees. Likewise, he’s fussier than a French maid about clean pockets – put some pressure at his feet and he’ll fold.

The Giants learned to make this their focus in previous Bowls, and expect the Seahawks to follow suit.

 

What makes the Seahawk defense the best in football? A) It’s stocked with talented, versatile athletes; b) it’s coached by a terrific d-coordinator; and c) it holds like nobody’s business. If you answered “all of the above” you are correct!

 

OUTLOOK: I don’t expect Blount to gash this defense the way he did the Colts. That leaves it up to Brady and company to carry the load. The Patriots, of all AFC teams, represent the one team with a chance to win here, as they are balanced both on offense and defense. However, my feeling is the dominant Seattle defense – when it’s on its game – is just too good. It was the ‘Hawks defense that carried the load while Wilson fought through an absolutely horrible outing and saved Seattle’s chance to repeat as champs.

 

The wild card is Gronkowski, who’s been absent from the Pats in their last two Bowl losses – maybe he’s been the missing link. Should he have a 100-yard, 3-TD kind of day, opening things up for other receivers like the underrated and dangerous Julian Edelman, New England can win. Then maybe I’ll get my wish for a Blount celebration and total Stillers embarrassment. If not, make it Seattle 23, New England 17 in a relatively low-scoring game.

 

 

Flying, foaming rage”  ©2015 by PalmerSucks

 

Comments? Email me at PalmerSucks@Stillers.com

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