MY EDGE: WHERE HAS IT GONE?

MY EDGE:� WHERE�S IT GONE

By Swissvale72

What�s wrong with me (okay, okay�not so quick to answer)?� Why am I not more distraught?� Why am I able to work, talk�..even laugh?

Steelers lose to the SF Bengals (no�that�s not San Francisco�.it�s SF, as in �Shitty Fuckin� Bengals), in a game we dominated, and I�m this functional?� What the fuck is goin� on here?�

I know�.it�s PEIS (Post-Euphoric Immersion Syndrome), the disease with its origins in SB XL.� I�ve not yet purged it from my system.� It�s now morphed into a related affliction, new to the DSM-IV (or�as Begbee calls it�the Big Book of Mental Illness).� This cluster of syndromes is know as WTFWWMINS, a rather long entry into the diagnosable mental illnesses�.stands for What The Fuck�s Wrong With Me�I�m Not Suicidal??.

Ordinarily, my friends, I would be searching for the best bridge from which to leap.� Couldn�t be a New England bridge�the Tobin and Mystic River Bridges down in Boston are both good jumping bridges, but the populace would erroneously assume that I was upset about the Red Sox, or was protesting Gay Marriage in the Gay State (�sorry�.Bay State�.went to a gay wedding last week��hmmm), or was making a statement about the latest president of Harvard.� In short, no one would give a shit�..they�d just honk their horn�.say, �Will ya jump, ya wicked fuckin� bastahd!�

No�.has to be a Western Pennsylvania Bridge that I would jump from�.more specifically, a Monongahela River Bridge.� Just in case I regain my edge, I�ve researched the Mon River bridges from Donora to the confluence. �Why Donora? �Well, there was the Donora Smog of 1948�killed 20 unfortunate Donorans (�it that the right word�or is it Donoraites�.or Donorians), sicked thousands�.the zinc fluoride leak then being covered up US Steel.� Why Donora?� Well�.possibly had the best high school football team in Western Pa. History�.led by Arnie Galiffa, gave up only 6 points all season in 1945.� Why Donora?� Birthplace of Stan (the Man) Musial, Griffey Sr., Griffey Jr., Deacon Dan Towler�.and a certain stiller.com icon.� Anyway, if necessary, I could jump from the Donora-Monesson Bridge�..don�t get my started on Monesson, the Greyhounds, birthplace of Steve Belichick�okay I�ll stop there.

Tallked about this once last year, but only in terms of giving Tammy Maddox a nudge were I to see him perched on the Smithfield Street Bridge after the Jax debacle.

Could consider jumping from the Rankin Bridge�.would have all of the Kennywood Traffic to offer me support, encourage me.� Or�.the Homestead High Level Bridge�.always liked that name.� Plus, I could be memorialized in Charlie Batch�s basketball league.

Don�t get me wrong��was plenty upset�.just not obsessed.� Didn�t� read the PG yesterday, wouldn�t even look at it.� Was enraged today though, to read Cowher�s explanation of why Coclugh was out there on the fateful punt rather than Holmes�.something about liking to use Holmes close to the goal line, �cause Cowher �likes his hands.�� Cowher should get a backhand across his ugly mug for that statement.� What�.trying to protect a 3-point lead with 8 minutes left in the game doesn�t call for your punt returner with the best hands�..instead we put in Dick Stuart (Dr. Strangeglove) �in shoulder pads to field the fuckin� thing.� Stupid Shit not only can�t catch, then he can�t fall on the ball!!

Now�.two weeks of idleness to sit and stew, followed by a trip to San Diego.� We will certainly need The Irrepressible Still It to rally her hordes of West Coast Steelerites, will need her to unleash It�s Organisms on Qualcomm Stadium�.will need recent converts Tommy LaSorda, Eldridge Cleaver and Oscar De La Hoya to root the Steelers to victory.� Speaking of�..word on the street is that not only the Black Panthers, but also the Symbionese Liberation Army, led by Patricia Hearst and Field Marshall Cinque will be out in full force to support the Black & Gold.

In the meantime, where�s my edge�.is it gone?� Has One for the Thumb fulfilled me to the point where I�m complacent, where �it�s all good.� �My daily life this post-Bengals Tuesday �is filled with angst, sprinkled liberally with disgruntlement�..I�ve not become self-harming though, not self-destructive.� If It�s Organisms don�t deliver at Qualcomm though��look for me on the High Level.