Poebirds 30, Stillers 17 ……. Jan 3, 2015………Wildcard Game
Stillers-Poebirds Postgame Analysis and Grades
The Stillers hosted the hated Poebirds in an AFC Wildcard game. The Stillers dominated the 1H in terms of TOP, but Dick’s vaunted defense got gashed for 80 and 70 yards marches to enable the Rats to take a 10-9 lead into the lockeroom. In the 2H, it was more of the same, with Dick getting gashed time and time again, while the Stiller offense was able to muster only 1 TD. The result was a thorough and complete assbeating that was all too similar to the whipping administered by these same Poebirds early in the season.
Grades:
QB: Ben had an erratic, spotty evening. Got sacked, 1st series, when he held the ball forever. Miraculous Houdini act, 2Q, in which he escaped pressure and somehow hit Miller for a big 30 yard play on 3d & 10. Had AB WIDE open in the EZ for an easy TD on a 3d & 1, but Ben inexplicably lollipopped the ball with a 70-foot arc, which allowed the burned secondary to get over and shove AB OOB as he grabbed the ball, forcing an Inc pass. Was 18 of 24 for 183 in the 1H.
Shitlesberger fell apart at the end of the 3Q. He threw a needless deep ball to a well covered AB, but instead of at least giving AB a chance to make a play or draw a PI flag, Ben tosses a pass that lands about 15 feet OOB. Then, on the next play, Ben faced a big rush and failed to scoot away from pressure, instead taking the sack
Ben threw a shitty, wobbly pass on the 4Q deep ball to AB, but AB was so wide open that he was able to haul it in for a 45-yard gain to the Balt 1-foot line. Had a nice TD pass 2 plays later, but then threw a weak-assed lollipop lob on the 2-pointer that was INTd. Injured his head late in the 4Q and missed 3 plays. On his first play back, Ben, presumably still groggy, threw a hideous pass to a BLANKETED WR in the EZ for a crushing INT that basically ended the ballgame. A QB rating of 79 just doesn’t cut it in a big playoff game at home. D
Gradkowski - came on at 4:30 4Q in relief of Ben for 3 plays. Inc
RB:
Bell - Stutter Bell did not dress, due to the knee. The biggest loss was his ability to pass protect and grab valve dumps, which you saw in tonite’s 5-sack production by Balt.
Harris - Had 5 rushes in the 1H for 6 yards. Finished with 9 rushed for 25 and 2 grabs for 6. Could make a play at a roster spot next season. B-
Tate - Got the start, in a surprise move, as Harris was the announced starter. Carried on the first play, and then split wide on the 2nd and grabbed a short pass. Trucked Smith on a plunge a couple plays later. He then fumbled his next carry, but AB saved his bacon with a recovery. Grabbed a short mid-dump, 2Q, and took a head shot from a DB, but held on for a nice gainer, plus a 15-yard penalty on BAL, plus the DB got injured. Had 4 rushes for 17 in the 1H. A 4Q dumpoff clanged off his hands and into the legs of Suggs, who corralled the ball for a crushing INT. Might have botched his blocking assignment on this play as well. C+
Archer: Pee Pee Archer had 1 rush in the 1H, and, after meekly tip-toeing toward the LOS, got totally engulfed and swallowed up by Suggs. Just a complete unimpressive loser of a football player. C-
FB:
Will Johnson had a strong north-south plunge on 4th & 1, late 3Q, for a key 1D. Got only limited PT. B
WR:
Brownie – Alertly recovered an early Tate fumble. Superb RAC, 3d & 10 1st series, getting the 1D. I wasn’t fond of AB leaving his feet on the 2Q lob in the EZ. He was WIDE open, and when he left his feet, this allowed the DB to get a shove that forced his 1 foot OOB by about 5 inches. Frankly, there was no need to jump for this ball, as it did not need to be high-pointed. Flagged for a foolish masking penalty, mid 4Q, with the team down by 15. Very, very immature and silly. Had 9 grabs for 117, but it was mostly on little piss-ant routes. B
Pinkie Wheaton - had 5 grabs for 66, which is just moderately mediocre for a #2 WR. B-
Archer: As usual, did nothing as a WR. Was thrown a WR screen, first play of 2H, and instead of following his blockers, he feebly ran to the sideline chalk for a weak-assed 2-yard gainer.
Good thing Doltbert rabidly reached for this smurf in the 3rd round…! D-
Lance “Yancey” Moore - did not dress, despite being healthy, which I’m sure will cause him to be seething mad, esp. since Heyward-Gay dressed.
Bryant - superb adjustment and pluck on a 3d & 5 deep back-shoulder pass, 2nd series. Plucked a TD in the 4Q with a superb job of fighting off the DB and high pointing the ball. Nearly plucked a late TD, but got drilled by a safety that, unlike Mike Bitchell, actually is close enough to make plays. Flagged for a ticky-tack OPI in the 4Q. B
Heyward-Gay - for no apparent reason, was used as a #4 WR at times. Managed to get in the way of AB on a WR screen, 2Q. Had 1 grab for 6 yards in what hopefully will be his final game with the Stillers.
Justin Brown – thankfully did not dress.
TE:
Miller - dropped a short slant, 1st series, which prevented the Stillers from being in FG range and forced a punt. Got abused by Suggs in pass pro, 2nd series, and on the next play, failed to block Suggs at all, allowing Suggs to swallow up Pee Pee Archer. Got drilled late in the game, and then a few plays later, coughed up the ball to end all chances. C-
Spaeth - dressed, and wasted oxygen, plus a scare spot on the 45-man game-day dress roster. Did jack shit all evening long. It will be a crime of this simpleton is on the roster next season. C-
OL:
Beacham - Like a complete idiot, he needlessly went WIDE to help Tate, while HIS man, a blitzing DB, attacked Ben, which forced the 4Q INT by Suggs. (It is possible Tate botched his assignment.) Got tooled by Suggs and blatantly hooked & grabbed him, negating Archer’s TD grab with 5 minutes left in the game. This TD could have made the game interesting. With Bell out for this game, Beacham was brutally exposed as the mediocre farce that he is, despise the rabid fawning by the Pgh media that made him out to be the next Munoz. C-
Gilbert - FatAss Marcus got totally whipped by Dumerville for a sack, 2nd series. Got injured mid 4Q. D+
Adams - came in for FatAss Marcus. Got totally humiliated and abused for a crushing sack at 4:30 4Q, which not only lost precious yardage, but forced Ben out of the game with an apparent head injury. D-
Foster - Often got totally manhandled on ground plays. C
Pouncey – Only an average performance. All the fawning over the guy remains a puzzling mystery. C+
DeAsstro - committed a dumb-assed false start on 1st & G at the 1-foot line. Got totally humiliated by Ngata late in the game, which enabled Ngata to tip the pass. Failed to dominate in the ground game. D+
DL:
Cam Thomas - did nothing.
McLendon - shoved the center back and forced Jacco to trip, 2nd play of game. Had an marginal game. C+
Heyward – good pressure, 2d series. Forced a TA, 2:52 2Q. B
Tuitt - the vaunted 2nd rounder started and played ok. Recovered the fumble in the 4Q. Should start at DE next season. B-
McCullers - got a decent amount of PT. Would have been nice to get him more PT and more grooming about 13 weeks ago.
LB:
Timmons – Had too quiet of an evening. Had a number of slop stops, but far too little impact. C+
Shaquier – did very little all evening, but had the presence of mind to drag Forsett away from the fumbled pigskin, which allowed Tuitt to recover. Slashed in to drop Forsett just before the 2MW in the 4Q Inc
Worilds - Got yet another Dong stop when, on the 2nd play of the game, Jacco tripped on his center’s foot and fell to the ground, and Big Jason, ever the he-man, touched Jacco while he was prone for a 5-yard loss. Quick -- Colbert should call Jason’s agent and see if Jason can be signed for a 5-year, $72M contract!! Got totally bamboozled on a boot right, 2nd series, which allowed Jacco an ACRE of open room to hit Daniels for 18 yards. Took a silly-assed, boneheaded dead ball penalty, 2Q. What a stupid imbecile. Got totally bamboozled -- AGAIN !! -- on the Gillmore TD, mid 4Q. What a sorry sack o’ shit, and thank goodness this will be his final game in a Stiller uniform. No more Hokie Hooker after tonite. D-
Vinnie Williams - solid stop of Forsett on a 3d & 8, 4Q, short of the sticks. Slashed in to drop Forsett for a 3-yard loss, 4Q. B-
Moats - not sure if he played any D-side snaps.
Harrison - stupidly got sucked in, on a 3d & 15 from the Balt 2, 1st series, which allowed Jacco to run wide left and gain 11. The key here was allowing a huge chunk of yardage, which enabled BAL to punt from a normal, comfy punt formation instead of a shrunken punt formation. Forced the 4Q fumble by taking Daniels and shoving him back into the RB, thus forcing the fumble. Was unable to feast upon the rookie LT. Likely his final game in a Stiller uni. B-
Jones - totally fooled on a boot left, 3Q, which easily was converted for a 1D. C-
Spence - Had the only sack on an inside rush. Did little all game long. I’m sure next year the Pgh media will be pushing for this guy for All Pro consideration. C+
DB
Ike - did not dress, due to the shoulder.
Pola - started after sitting out last week, Had a weak-assed paw-grab at Forsett on the 1st offensive play of the 4Q. Had a bunch of slop stops, but provided no more impact than a pimple on the ass of an elephant. C
Mitchell – stupid, needless helmet to helmet penalty on a deep ball, 2nd series. On the TD pass in the 3Q, Bitchell just STOOD there, covering NOBODY, while T. Smith tip-toed behind him for an easy TD grab. Took an assaholic angle on a 3d & 13 dumpoff to Daniels, who had a huge RAC for 23 yards. Nowhere to be found on ANY deep completions by the Ravens. Finished 17 games with 2 (TWO) passes defensed. Go look it up on NFL.com. He sucked ass all season long, and tonite. F
Gay - tooled for a deep flag in the EZ by Steve Smith, but the pass was way off the mark, 4:20 2Q. Got a paw on a pass into the EZ, late 2Q. B-
Blake - flagged for a PI on 3d & 2, in which he failed to turn his head like a damn fool. C+
McCain - failed to bust up a deep lob to Steve Smith, 3Q. Had a chance at a Dong INT early in the 4Q, but dropped it as he hit the ground. C-
Sharko Thomas – not permitted to play on D. I guess he might get some PT in 2016. Not 2015, but 2016. Inc
C. Allen - did not play on D
Spec teams:
Wing – punted ok. Had a shit 37-yard punt in the 3Q. I’ll be enraged if he again gets the job handed to him on the silver platter in Aug. C
Suisham - booted 3 FGs in the 1H, including a 47-yarder. Good KOs. B
Archer – did nothing in the return game. He’s just so fast and explosive, though. An absolute steal in the 3rd round. Colbert once again fools the rest of the NFL.
AB – no impact, although, thanks to Dick’s Softee Defense, the Ravens punted (excluding the safety punt) only twice all game.
Jacoby Jones looked to have an acre of open room on a 1Q KO return, but luckily he tripped on the shit sod of Heinz Bog.
Wheaton took a 2Q KO 5-yards deep in the EZ, and like a jackass, decided to return it…..all the way to his own 14. Brilliant !! Then, late in the 1H, nearly caused a disaster with a near-fumble on his own 18 on a KO return.
Sharko Thomas swooped in to drop Jones on a late 2Q KO return. Committed a silly, needless late hit flag on a Jones KO return in the 4Q. Fought off a blocker and made an incredibly athletic play to block a late punt, probably the first Steeler blocked punt in like 5 years. Of course, none of that will matter, as he’ll ROT the bench all of next season as well if Dick remains.
Jarvis Jones made a stop on the opening KO of the 2H.
OC:
A tough, and I’m sure frustrating, evening for Haley. His most versatile weapon, Bell, was out, which severely hampered the running game, as well as pass protection. His QB had a vomit-spewing game. Had AB not left his feet on that 3d & 1 EZ pass in the 2Q, that play most likely is a TD. Bryant appeared to draw a 40-yard PI flag in the 3Q, but somehow no flag was thrown. And as noted, Ben was spotty and sporadic all nite long. The value of Bell’s superb versatility and pass protection was never more evident tonite. And with the absence of Bell, along with Dick allowing a comfy Balt lead, the Rats were able to pin their ears back in pell-mell manner, which is precisely what no offense wants to face. C+
DC:
Dick had his weekly luxury, this week being that of facing a decimated OL, with 2 rookie starters and a OG moved to OT. Of course, at no time during the entire game did Dick take any advantage of this.
The 1st PIT off drive chewed up 7-1/2 minutes and pinned BAL on their own 7. The 2nd PIT drive chewed up 5-1/2 minutes of the 1Q clock. That’s THIRTEEN minutes of 1st Qtr clock chewed. When the 1st half ended, the PIT offense had dominated TOP, 20:55 to 9:05, with Balt having only 3 drives, but Balt owned the 10-9 lead, all thanks to Dick and his Softee Defense. The Balt TD drive was 80 yards long, and the FG drive in the 2Q was 70 yards, meaning neither was of the chippie variety. The TD drive was mostly the Ravens just jamming the ball down Dick’s throat as though he were a homo porn star, all the while with Dick standing there, ossified as ever, playing a bland, vanilla defense that didn’t FORCE anything.
On the opening drive of the 2H, Dick had the Rats in a 3d & 14, thanks, of course, not to anything Dick did, but to Jacco slipping on 2d down and losing 4 yards. What does Dick do? He blitzes, but then has Blake playing, oh, about 13 yards off the ball, and Jacco is able to EASILY hit Smith for a quick slant that gained an easy 17 yards. You know Jacco has to get rid of the ball quickly, so what does Dick do….? He plays RIGHT INTO Jacco’s hands by placing Blake a country mile off the LOS. As it turned out, Dick allowed a NINE play, 54-yard march for a BALT FG to boost the Rats’ lead to 13-9. A shit defensive effort by a shit defensive coordinator.
The Ratbirds took over after a punt, mid 3Q, and marched 69 yards on this drive for a cake-easy TD, boosting their lead to 20-9.
Early in the 4Q, Dick faced a 4th & inches, with Balt lining up 8 blockers between the TEs while Dick, the fool, lined up only 5 men at the LOS. The result? A cake-easy QB sneak by Jacco for the 1D. Luckily, Forsett coughed the ball up on the next play.
At 10:10 4Q, Dick had a comfy 3d & 13 at the Balt 34. A forced punt here allows the Stillers to go back to attacking the weak Balt secondary. But no. As always, Dick used his softee scheme and allowed a 23-yard gainer to Daniels. Dick soon allowed a 34-yard TD pass, but Smith could get only 1 foot inside the back of the EZ. The Ratbirds got a FG, though, to boost their lead to 23-15.
Right after the Suggs INT, Dick, for like the FOURTH time in the game, was totally unprepared and then bamboozled on a Jacco bootleg, this one going for a 21-yard TD that basically salted away this game.
Stat of the nite -- the Rats had to punt only TWICE all evening (aside from a safety punt). Just twice, thanks to Dick and his Softee, cream-puff defense.
Other stat of the nite -- taking away kneel down “drives” late in each half, the Rats scored on 6 of 9 possessions. SIX OF NINE, showing how feeble and decrepit Dick’s Softee Defense was.
Other key of the nite -- Dick, playing at HOME, managed to make Joe Jacco look like Roger Staubach. Jacco went 18 of 29 for 259, with 2 TDs, 0 INTs, and a 62% passing percentage. And the constant, continual 3rd down conversions on 3rd & LONNGGG were simply fuking hideous. And the complete lack of pressure and hits on Jacco was piss poor and unacceptable. ONE sack all nite, and very, very little pressure into the FACE of Jacco. No pressure, and only one turnover, that on a fluke fumble. It was like the SB versus GB, all over again.
Funny, how Balt's Def Coord is able to create INSTANT pressure on the QB with astute overloads, while Dick, who is facing an OL with TWO rookie starters and an OG at LT, didn’t do it even ONCE the entire game. Not once. Funny how Balt. ran the bootleg tonite with rabid success, time and time and time again, yet Dick was totally unprepared for it, and was completely unable to ADJUST to it.
But, do not forget....Dick is THE supreme deity of defensive coaching. It’s also funny how Dick is supposed to be the Holy Almighty Omnipotent guru of defensive football. What, then, was he doing, getting tooled by the complete dullard by the name of (hold your laughter, please) Gary Kubiak? Yes, the same Gary Kubiak who was run out of Houston, in large part because his offense was so bland, dull, stale, and feeble. It still is, but Dick’s defense is even more bland, dull, and feeble.
By the way…has anyone seen the Great Deity, Dick Lebeau ?? You know…Mister 30 ?? Last time I seen him, he was getting schooled and spanked by Gary Kubiak and Joe Jacco !! 30 fuking points allowed to Kubiak and Jacco, the Masters of Mediocrity !!
And let us not forget how RAVAGED the Balt secondary has been ALL season, yet they had a game plan and an ATTACK that won the football game.
Fuk Dick. His last game, EVER. Fuking selfish fuking blowhard. Selfish, sorry bastard should have retired at least 4 years ago, if not earlier. F-
HC: This was a typical Mike Dumblin playoff game. Shit preparation. Shit focus. Shit attention to detail. Softee team play, complete with a timid, meek brand of defense. And a rabid barrage of silly-assed, needless dead-ball penalties. Ten penalties in all, with 8 enforced penalties for 114 yards. Meanwhile, the Ravens were flagged for only 14 yards, showing the complete difference in focus and discipline. It all points to the lack of discipline that permeates Dumblin’s country club. Things are great when Dumblin’s crew is beating up on inept teams like the Browns and the Julius Jones-less Falcons. When they face a worthy opponent, more often than not this season they’ve had their asses whipped, as they did today. And let us not forget -- the PoeBirds badly out-hit Dumblin’s meek, softee crew all game long, both in terms of tackling as well as the trench warfare. Lest we forget to mention, Dumblin helped shape a roster with ZERO depth at the RB position, and when his favorite toy got injured last week, Dumblin had no fallback to move forward with. Want to lament the absence of Bell? Blame it on Dumblin, who was too much the fool to shape a roster with ANY depth at a position that SCREAMS for depth. All in all, just another sorry leadership effort by Dumblin, the most over-rated head coach, by far, in the NFL. F
Synopsis: Another slop n’ slather for the Dumblin-led playoff team, which of course mimics Billy Cowher’s outlandish tenure of playoff slop. This is what this team deserved, of course. Had they not pooped the bed against lowly dregs like Clev, Tampa, and the Jets, they could have enjoyed a bye week and then hosted a home playoff game next weekend. The defense was soft as moldy butter all season long, and the offense, despite putting up gaudy numbers, all too often failed to put TDs on the board, aside from that 2-week spurt of Ben’s 6-pack TDs. Of course, even if they’d eked out a win, they’d have been run out of the stadium in embarrassing fashion next week by the Pats, especially with how soft and cheesy Dick’s defense is. It’s high time for this team to shed the dead weight of over-aged veterans, along with a decrepit, over-aged Def. coordinator who clearly has been passed by and over-matched by at least 28 offensive coordinators in the NFL. Rooney can keep his head buried in the sand, but clearly a severe wave of changes must be made if this team is truly interested in making it to a Super Bowl again.
(Still Mill and Stillers.com -- when it comes to the analysis of the Pittsburgh Stillers, no one else comes close….)
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