REQUIEM

REQUIEM

�What Happened?

By Swissvale72

 

 

The journey:

Started my Sunday in Carlisle, Pa., visiting Mon Valley friends�from the Monongahela side of the Ringgold merger (�someone give me a clue�.where does �Ringgold come from?��.Donora, Monongahela��where�s the ring�.and where the hell is the gold?).

 

Anyway�..started my journey back to New Hampshire at about 11:30am�.called Neighbor Chuck at 12:55pm, who was in my living room, and whose task was to assure me that my taping mechanism was properly aligned, thus yielding me a Steelers/Ravens tape at the end of my journey.

 

I traveled on, through Northeastern Pa�..Minersville, MdAoo, Promised Land�.through New York State where I was ripped off for gas in Port Jervis to the tune of $2.49/gallon�.through the wasteland that�s Connecticut�.if you can ever avoid driving through Connecticut�.avoid it�.oh yeah, in case yinz have forgotten�..Reality Ron�.and his pal Todd, hail from the Nutmeg State.� Nutmeg State�.that should tell you something�.who the hell derives their nickname from a spice??� Pennsylvania�.the Oregano State�.Ohio�the Basil State��Nutmeg.�

 

The coup de grat came upon entering Massachusetts�..line about 10 miles long awaiting the privilege of entering the Mass. Pike.�� We make our usual stop, pre-pike, at a roadside combo Sbarro�s/Roy Rogers.� There was a busload of Oriental gamblers, on their way back from Mohegan Sun�.our Asian friends, realizing their was no General Tso�s chicken, moo shi, or hunan beef to be had, opted to clean out Sbarro�s of very fuckin� meatball�every fuckin� cheese slice�..leaving some of the less flexible members of our party extremely disappointed.�� Me�.I�ll eat anything that doesn�t eat me (�.and even that doesn�t always stop me), so I was okay.

 

Anyway�..after a long day, only having stopped the vehicle twice�..needing to tolerate steady Christmas CDs, �cause there was no way I was turning on the radio, lest I hear a score, I arrived home 9 and one-half hours after beginning what should have been no more than an 8-hour trip, and with great anticipation�..commenced watching Steelers-Ravens.

 

The game:

A debacle, a travesty, putrid, dreadful��no word could possibly describe how terrible a performance our Steelers gave us yesterday.� Worst I�ve seen since November 9, 1969, when we went into Chicago and lost 38-7 (no�it�.I was not there that day) �to a Bears team that would win no other game that year.� Highlight was Joe Greene spitting at Dick Butkus.� That loss, however, brought us Terry Bradshaw.� This loss, I�m afraid, will bring nothing but ill will.

 

O-line:� Overrated last year, never as good as given credit for��the O-line must have been pissed at poor Ben�..almost got the poor kid killed�.gave FWP no room to run�..

 

Receivers: Nate, after making a great catch, drops yet another TD pass.� Undisicplined play�� Hines�.love Hines�.but that was a stupid-ass penalty he took.� I knew when it happened that it foretold doom�..sure enough, few minutes later, the 7-0 defiicit becomes 14-0

 

Defense:� Played like a Richard Simmons aerobic class�.blown off the ball, knocked on their asses�.knew we were in trouble last week, when some no-name from Cleveland, whose name I�ve already forgotten, gouged the D for good running yardage.� The 2 corners couldn�t cover anybody.

 

Special teams:� Have we ever had a worse pair of kick returners than Najeih Davenport and Sean Morey.� One can�t catch, the other can�t run.

 

The coach:� I�ve backed Cowher for a long time, but it�s time for him to go.� No shit�..his most pronounced display of emotion, for a coach who�s not known for his stoicism, was yukking it up on the sideline with Mike Vick, as Vick was moving the Falcons downfield late in the 4^th Quarter.� He�s had the same morose, depressed expression affixed to his mug all year long.

 

What Happened (the season?):

Two turning points:

1. Ben�s pick on first & goal from the 6 vs. cinci, up 7-0, running the ball down cinci�s collectifve throat.� Went from the verge of a 14-0 lead, to 7-7�.were on the verge of 2-1 with a big division win�instead we�re on our way to 1-3.
2. Ben�s fumbled snap vs. Atlanta�..we�re up 17-7, haven�t been stopped offensively�.next thing ya know, we�re down 21-17, on our way to 2-6.

 

I still love Ben�.odd combination of a drama queen, but a tough sonuvabitch�..keeps getting up when you swear he�s done�..doesn�t sit out.

 

Well�..I�ll keep watching�..my months-long affliction of PEIS (Post-Euphoric Immersion Syndrome) has saved my ass.� Ordinarily, I would be disconsolate, inconsolable�..perched off the highest bridge in New Hampshire�(some damn covered bridge in Cornish).� But�..I said numerous times, as did Nick79�.give me one more SB�.I�d take 5 consecutive 1-15 seasons.� Unfortunately�.we�re now paying off that bet.

 

Ya know what though��being a tried & true knucklehead�.I�m STILL looking at playoff possibilities�..

�We win out�.the Ravens lose out�.we win the Division�..long as Cinci loses a couple more

We win out�.Jax loses 3 more, Jets lose 3 more, KC loses 2 more�..we grab a wildcard.

No problem!!

 

Other hand�.6-10 seems VERY realistic!!

 

Other notes: Oh�.let�s close this positively�.Thanksgiving in Pittsburgh was very enjoyable�..crossing the Pennsylvania Turnpike�.saw a thousand-cow march�.hundreds of cows in single file�walking to some unknown destination�..maybe it was a Cow funeral�..maybe Ed Rendell was speaking�.or maybe it was Sophie Masloff!!

 

Watched a quadruple header of high school games on Friday, from Heinz Field�..10:30 am to 11:00pm�.tore up the field, but a lot of fun.

 

My brother�s in love with Channel 4 newscaster Wendy Bell�..she actually kissed him on the lips a few weeks ago�..long story�so I had to see her newscast on Friday night.�� Second story on the newscast was about a Steeler fan, some good hunky, who collapsed in Cleveland Stadium, an hour before the Steelers-Browns game��took his last breath� minutes before gametime.� Interviewed his son, who, along with some others, accompanied his dad to the game.� Interviewed his sister, a hunky nun.� Anwyay, Wendy Bell�s closing words on the story�.�the party listened to the Steeler game on their way back to Pittsburgh.�� Ay�Ay�.Ay�..at least they had their priorites straight.� Actually, they could have probably kept the old man�s body on ice��stayed, watched the game.� We were all wandering. �Thanks, Wendy�..for completing the story.

 

Heard a good rendition of Santa Claus is coming to town by Johnny Angel.� Only this one is �Santa Claus is coming dahntahn�..��..with references to jagoffs, opposed to, plenty of yinz, Sahside��very cool song.

 

By the way, has anyone really EVER heard anyone say �yunz?�� I�ve personally NEVER heard such a thing��was always, always, always�..YINZ.

 

Good Pittsburgh turkey day�..even though our team now sucks!!��

 

At least we got five�..

 

The End��