Shit I Hate about the NFL

SHIT I HATE ABOUT THE NFL�

By Swissvale72

Don�t get me wrong.  I love the NFL.  And in comparison to the way the other leagues are run, I particularly like�.

1. The Salary Cap:  Vital to the competiton.  The fuckin� Yankees can piss away $46mil on a guy that sucks, and it doesn�t matter.  The NFL has really leveled the playing field.
2. Replay:  I love that the priority is getting the fuckin� call right.  Fuck this embracing of human error.  Why do we want to treasure mistakes being made, when they can be corrected?  The other night�.those umps in Colorado seriously blew two calls that I saw just from the highlights.  With replay, they get �em both right.

Anyway�..here�s what sucks though, about the NFL.

1. Pussy Rules (it might be too much to ask to once again legalize the head slap, but consider):
   1. Illegal Chuck:  Put in place in response to the play of the Pittsburgh Steelers of the �70s.  Adopted in 1978, the Steelers immediately unleashed a prolific passing attack. What�s wrong with this rule?  It counters the natural order of the game.  If you want to chuck the receiver all the way down the field, prior to the ball being in the air, and you want to absorb the risk of getting your ass burned, why make that illegal?  College ball still allows it.  The risk is on the defender.
   2. Early Release on punts:  Led to the Steelers downfall Sunday in Arizona.  Again, if I want to release all of my blockers as soon as the fuckin� ball is snapped, thereupon taking on the risk that my punt might be blocked, why should I prevented from doing so?

In both a & b, the natural order is being fucked with.  There�s already a risk/reward quotient at hand.  Why legislate it out?  I�ll tell you why.  It�s for the benefit of the casual fan, who wants to see more scoring�.that�s why.  Well, fuck them!!  Keep the fuckin� game pure!! 

Further, look at the vicious cycle this creates.  The illegal chuck makes it harder to cover receivers.  What happens?  Bingo�.teams pass more.  Harder to defend, coverage-wise.  What happens?  Teams put more heat on the QB.  What happens?  More injuries to the QB.  What happens?  More pussy rules to protect the QB�.leading to�.

                   c.    The proliferation of personal fouls, like �blow to the head.�  Other night, the Cinci

                          d-lineman touches Brady�s helmet and gets flagged for 15�.and Brady

                          has the audacity to be all pissed off about it.  Hey Tom�.that�s why you wear a

                          fuckin� helmet.  Too soft, too much bullshit.  I�m not a huge fan of the college

                          game, but I like that they�re not nearly so anal about late hits, shit like that.  It�s

                          football�expect to get hit!!

2. The Bye Week

I abhor the Bye Week.  Already, I�m starting to have separation anxiety, some panic disorder, knowing that after this week, there�s no Steeler football for two weeks.  It was one thing when we had an odd number of teams in the league, but no there�s no need.  I know the players like it, but fuck them!!  Super Bowl could be moved back into January with no bye week�.not that that matters.  Football season starts, we start to establish our rhythms, routines, and then, Bye Week.  Other thin that sucks with it is for a few weeks, your team has one more or one less game than other teams in your division, like fuckin� baseball!! You start to talk about a one-game lead in the fuckin� LOST COLUMN.

Only thing a bye week is good for is if you have some choice about some stupid family event that will require you to sacrifice a Sunday.  The BEAUTICIAN, RONNYRON, for instance, got married during a BYE WEEK. (�.Ron & Mrs. Ron registered at the Beauty Supply Store, by the way).  

That�s not a good enough reason to keep it though.  Fuck the Bye Week.  Get rid of it.

3. Full price for pre-season games

It�s the least of our problems, but charging full price for a game that doesn�t count?  That�s some bullshit.  It�s like paying full price for lottery tickets that pay off in jellybeans.  Or full price for condoms with pinhole leaks.  Or full price for a Danny�s hoagie with no meat��a Vinnie�s pizza with no grease, you get the idea.

Thing is, we all know that if pre-season games cost less, they�d just charge more for the real games�.they�re getting their dough one way or the other.

4. Country Music & Big-Ass Vehicles

There�s some assumption, based on demographics I guess, that all football fans are fond of this shit. I happen to hate �em both.  I hate any vehicle bigger than mine, and. i seems more often that not, the national anthem in big games are sung by some country music asshole�..Clint Black or Toby Keith (never trust someone with 2 first names).  Just for the hell of it, they should have some freak with multiple piercings and mascara sing the anthem during the Super Bowl�.or some other freak ass like Boy George.

             That�s all the shit that I hate about the NFL that I can think of, for now.