Loose Slag from The Still Mill�� -� Breadth, Depth, and Context
Today's Post Gazette was rife with so much babble and flawed
"analysis" (sic), that I simply could not not comment
on it.
- Said Ted Bouchette: "I
hate even to bring football into it, but the reality of the situation is I
don't think the Colts will play as well in the playoffs. It's a combination of
many things, including wrapping up the division title so early, losing at home
to the Chargers, resting players, getting out of a rhythm, the distraction of
the death of Dungy's son. I think the Colts already have lost their edge."�
���������� Looking at
it just from a prairie dog's split-second viewpoint, Teddy might be correct.� Problem is, that's not how anyone should
examine a complex problem.� Rather, it
should be examined in depth and breadth, within the context of the entire
situation.� That's what we do here at
Stillers.com (see our
primer), and that's what sets us apart from the crowd and from the
simpletons like Bouchette.�
Let's examine the Colts.� They lost a fierce, hotly contested battle against the Chargers.� Four days later, the head coach's son commits suicide, and on Sunday the team travels all the way to Washington state -- without the head coach, of course, who is tending to his son -- to face the best team in the NFC.� Stricken with sudden grief, the Colts slumber and lose to the NFC's best team.� And now a so-called "expert" like Ted claims they've "already lost their edge".�� What a moron.� No edge was lost; the team was simply stricken suddenly by grief.� There are numerous seasoned veterans on that Colts team.� They aren't going to sit around feeling sorry for themselves and moping as they sit atop the AFC at 13-2.� Winning the division too early?� I guess that really plagued the '85 Bears and the '98 Broncos, eh, Teddy?�� The Colts will rebound against lowly Arizona at the RCA Dome on Sunday, and then enjoy their 1st round bye.� Meanwhile, the entire team is attending the funeral for Dungy's son, and if anything, this event will not only bring this group of men closer together, but it will also give them some focus and extra incentive.� Just ask the Redskins about what the NYG did 2 days after attending Wellington Mara's funeral.� (For ignorant simpletons like Bouchette, the Giants slaughtered the Skins, 36-0.)�
���������� Asked Ted
later in the article, "Anyone out there still
believe Joey Porter is not playing well?"� Sure, Porter is playing better.�
That doesn't overcome the fact that he stood around with his entire fist
up his ass the first 13 games of the season.�
And, although he's playing better, let's not make this guy out like some
demonic defender who is terrorizing opposing defenses.� He ran up 3 Dong Sacks versus Clev, two when
he was totally untouched and unblocked, and 1 when he was soloed by backup RB
Lee Suggs.� If Dwight Freeney were given
this kind of nonchalant disregard, he'd ring up at least 59 sacks in a season
and put at least 5 QBs into the hospital.���
- Not to be outdone by Teddy B., Bob Smizik wrote a rambling, babbling article in today's PG; one of the very worst he has ever written.� And I say that, coming from a long-time admirer of Smizik.� To me, he's always been a columnist who usually is shrewd and astute, and he typically stands far and away higher than the rest of the simpletons like Bouchette, Cook, and Dulac.� Unfortunately, he fell off the rocker with his babbling diatribe about how Lord Billy Cowher shouldn't be the focal point of fan disgust when the Stillers lose.� That particular thesis, in and of itself, isn't necessarily flawed, but the bullshit babble that Smizik used to justify his thesis was some of the worst bromide I've ever seen spewed in the Post Gazette.�
���������� Said
Smizik:� "To
this day, Cowher is castigated for his coaching performance in the memorable
2001 AFC title game against New England at Heinz Field. It's almost as though
Cowher single-handedly caused that defeat.
Forgotten in the
bitter memories of that 24-17 loss are these facts:
� - The Steelers' defense held the Patriots to
one touchdown, one field goal and 259 yards of offense -- numbers that usually
spell victory.
� - The Steelers' offense outscored, outgained
and had more first downs than the Patriots'.
Based on that, it would appear Cowher actually
outcoached Bill Belichick, although the public perception is that it was the
other way around.
The game was lost on special teams in general
and in particular on a blocked field goal that was returned for a touchdown by
the Patriots. On that play, New England's Brandon Mitchell broke through the
Steelers' line to block the kick. He was able to do that because of breakdown
by Marvel Smith and Rich Tylski, two starters on the offensive line.� Somehow, this play and other breakdowns on
special teams were blamed on Cowher instead of the actual
perpetrators."�
����������
Continues Smizik: "In the AFC title game last season against the
Patriots, with the Steelers trailing by 14 in the fourth quarter, Cowher
decided to go for a short field goal instead of trying for the touchdown.�� He has been severely criticized for the
call locally by both fans and the media, as though the decision was obviously
the wrong one. It wasn't obviously wrong, as the astute Phil Simms, calling the
game for CBS, noted. Simms immediately and emphatically said it was the right
decision."
���������� With shoe
firmly embedded into mouth, Smizik continues to write: "Trailing,
16-7, at halftime this season against Indianapolis and with his offense able to
do almost nothing, Cowher made the bold decision to try an onsides kick to
start the second half. His logic was that since Steelers had only five first
downs and their lone score was on a three-play, 7-yard drive, they needed both
a jolt and the short field a successful kick would give them.� When the Steelers failed to recover the
kick, Cowher was lambasted as an idiot, when his gamble made perfect sense. Nor
did this play have any affect on the outcome of the game."
���������� Let's break
down Smizik's babble, piece by piece.�
���������� - It is true
-- the Steeler defense did hold the Pats to 1 TD.� What Smizik fails to say, is that the lone NE offensive TD was
scored when a clumsy, seldom-used-in-coverage LB (Jason Gildon) was placed in
OUTSIDE, ONE-ON-ONE, SOLO coverage against a dangerous, starting caliber
WR.� On a flag route in the EZ, Gildon
got torched like a barrel of hash in a DEA raid, and voila -- the Pats had their
offensive touchdown.� I guess it's not
Lord Billy Cowher's fault for such a flawed, asinine scheme�.but then, who in
the hell's fault was it then??�� Isn't
the mega-million dollar head coach responsible for the overall operations,
overall tactics, and overall schemes of his football team?�
���������� - So, the
Stillers offense outscored and outgained the Pats.� Big deal!!�� There are
thousands of football games on record where the losing team had more yards and
more first downs than the victor.� And I
say to that -- big shit!�� It's all
about points on the scoreboard, not amassing itty bitty yards here and
there.� According to Smizik, if Team A
were to exploit a weakness on their opponent and complete an 80-yard bomb for a
TD and use an equally clever tactic to INT a pass and return it for a TD in a
14-10 win, but were outgained in total yards, Team B's coach outcoached the
victorious coach of Team A.�
Horseshit!!�
��������������������� What
Smizik conveniently fails to elaborate on, is that football -- especially
playoff football -- has THREE phases, not just 2.�� Offense, defense, and special teams, and in the
playoffs -- where both opponents are usually highly skilled and fairly capable
-- all are equally important.�
�� Says Smizik, "Somehow, this play
(blocked FG) and other breakdowns on special teams were blamed on Cowher
instead of the actual perpetrators."�
Fact is, the 2001 team was rotten to the core with special
teams mishaps, starting on opening day versus Jax when the Jags blocked a punt
en route to a brutal assbeating of the Stillers.� The ST slop continued the ENTIRE season, and Billy Cowher --
whose ONLY skill as an NFL player was that of a special teamer -- stood and
watched, totally ossified, and did NOTHING.�
Smizik doesn't mention the Troy Brown punt return for a TD in that game,
or the circumstances behind it.� Let's
refresh his dwindling memory:� On the
orginal punt, Troy Edwards ran a couple feet OUT of bounds while covering as a
gunner.� Belichick obviously had seen
this on film, and made sure the refs were well aware of this cheating by
Edwards, whose coaches were either too dumb or too lazy to spot, or rectify,
this severe flaw.� On the re-kick, Troy
Brown takes the ball to the house for 6 points.� Again, of course, this isn't Lord Billy Cowher's fault.� Why no, not Billy!!� Besides being infallible, Billy Cowher
shouldn't be held the least big accountable -- according to Smizik -- for a
blunder such as the one described above, in which a coach could have, and
should have, put an end to the foolish nonsense of cheating while covering
punts.�
��������������������� Smizik
also conveniently fails to mention that ONE man ordered the placement of Jerome
Bettis into the starting lineup, and not only did that, but insisted on keeping
the out-of-shape, hobbled tub of lard in the game when it was clearly evident
to everyone that Fat Jerome was hurting the team.� Big Jerome finished the game with hilarious stats -- 6 carries
for 7 yards -- and should have never touched the playing field that day, except
while wearing street clothes.� Who's
fault was it that Fat Jerome played and wasted six offensive plays that gained
NOTHING?�� One man -- Lord Billy
Cowher.� Overall, this Jan. 2002 AFCC
loss was a total disgrace for Billy Cowher, and although Smizik said Cowher was
"castigated" for this defeat, in reality the sorry bastard should
have been castrated for this defeat.�
��������������������� Regarding
the pussified FG in the '05 AFCC, this was as obviously WRONG a call as has
ever been made in the modern-day NFL.�
The Stillers had stormed back, and were at the 2-yard line, 4th & goal,
trailing by 14.� A TD makes it a 1-TD
game, with NE literally and figuratively gasping for air and the stadium
literally rocking.� WORST CASE scenario
-- NE stops Pgh. on the 1-yard line, and the Pats have to start a drive in the
CLOSED end of the stadium, with the crowd noise at an ear-splitting roar.� The FG did NOTHING, except suck the life out
of the entire fan base at the stadium, as well as every Steeler player.� As numerous people in attendance have
stated, you could literally hear a moan and a gasp when Cowhard trotted out the
FG team.� And contrary to Phil Simms,
the FG was a shit call.� The margin was
still ELEVEN, which meant, BEST case, the Stillers still needed another FG and
a TD and a 2-point conversion.�
If the Pats were to boot a FG -- and they did -- more scoring would be
needed.� I'm not sure why Smizik holds
Phil Simms, of all people, in such high esteem, but Simms ain't the grand dean
and deacon of football knowledge, and the 2 of them are the only 2 fools in
America stupid enough to think out loud that this was the correct call.�
��������������������� Regarding
the moronic, brainless, riverboat gamble of an onsides KO to start the 2H
versus Indy in a 9-point game, this was yet another dimbulbed move that, when
examined in breadth, depth, and context, made no sense.� The Stillers were not desperate; at least,
they should not have been.� Perhaps
Cowhard himself -- getting embarrassed on national TV -- was desperate, but the
situation was most assuredly not.� The
Stillers had just limited Indy to a FG at the end of the 1H, and after a shaky
opening quarter, had shored things up quite a bit.�� A decent march after the 2H KO could have made the game 16-10,
or even 16-14.� Perhaps, barring a
score, the Stiller might have pinned the Colts at their 2-yard line after a
pooch punt.� But, alas, Billy Cowher
called for the onsides, even though there wasn't a shred of evidence that the
Indy front-line blockers were peeling back prematurely and thus were ripe for
the onsides kick.� Smizik then claims,
"�.Cowher's gamble made perfect sense. Nor did this play have any affect
on the outcome of the game."�� The
play made no sense whatsoever, and 7 plays later, after being given the ball at
the Stiller 37, Indy cashed in for a TD that made the score 23-7.� Devoid of any momentum, a team that relies
enormously on the run and "wearing down the opposing defense in the 2nd
half" had to scrap the ground game and play catch-up football��and lost
26-7�.but somehow this asinine onsides KO "had no bearing on the
outcome".�
���������� Revisionist
history is great, because it allows the writer to accidentally
"forget" facts, as well as allowing the writer to leave out important
information regarding context, breadth, and depth.� It's easy to point to yardage stats and then claim that Cowhard
outcoached Belichick, but when examined in breadth and depth within the context
of that game, nothing further could be from the truth.� It's easy to claim Cowhard made the right
call on the FG in the 2005 AFCC, until you look at this in breadth and depth
within the context of that game, and you realize, with all the momentum in the
world behind the Stillers at that moment, on the 2-yard line, nothing could
have sucked more life out of that football team aside from a nuclear explosion
at midfield.� It's easy to claim what a
clever, brilliant idea it was to try the onsides KO versus Indy, until the
onion is peeled back, the real facts are revealed, and the entire context is
assembled.�
���������� Shame
on Smizik.� Like Ted Bouchette's
assertion earlier this season that there are 512 games played in an
NFL regular season, Smize should be castigated for publishing such folly and
fable.�
- There's
been an enormous amount of fawning -- led by Bouchette and Smizik, no less -- over
the Stiller defense the past 3 games.� Yes,
they've played some tough, inspired football.�
But like anything else, there must be breadth, depth, and context
applied.� In this case, the context is
this:
���������� - The 3 QBs the defense has faced in
this gaudy 3-game streak have been: Kyle Orton, Bad Johnson, and Charlie
Frye.� Orton and Frye are greenhorned rookies,
and Johnson is well past any prime he may have had; basically, a never-was and
never-will-be.�
���������� - The opposing WR/TE corps the D has
faced in this streak were:�
����������
��������������������� - Mushin Muhammed, Juistin
Gage, and Des Clark.�
��������������������� - The Robinson brothers,
and Jim Kleinsasser.
����������
��������������������� - Northcutt, Bryant, and
Shea/Heiden.
���������� Should the Steelers have the fortuitous
luck of facing an offense anywhere near as incompetent and feeble as the
aforementioned band of boobs, they might very well pitch a playoff
shutout.� Just keep things in
perspective, however, because few, if any, playoff teams are as offensively
inept & inconsistent, and devoid of playmaking talent.�
�- I've been sufficiently deluged via email
and via Steel Trivia's badgering regarding my latest pre-game analysis.� Yes, I screwed up and predicted a Brownie
win.� Unlike Billy Cowher, I've never
been given Papal infallibility; thus, I'm not perfect.� In keeping with the theme here, let me
provide some breadth, depth, and context to my pregame analyses.� The primary purpose of the pregame
analysis is to examine each team, in particular the opponent, as well as to
examine key matchups, key weaknesses, and so on.� In the regular season, the actual "prediction" is a
throw-in that is added, although typically not in every game.� Related to that, my esteemed colleague,
Steel Phantom, doesn't even bother with the prediction thing in his pregame
articles, lest he be dragged into the very mud that now fills up my
in-box.� The playoffs are a different
animal, of course -- much more at stake, do or die, and almost always much more
to analyze than, say, a boring Stiller-Lions game (which, by the way, I
probably won't be doing a pre-game on, due to business travel.)� Not only do I put more time and energy into
a playoffs analysis, but I also put more thought and energy into my playoff
predictions, although, again, the primary purpose of the pregame
analysis is to examine each team, in particular the opponent, as well as to
examine key matchups, key weaknesses, and so on.�
���������� Note that the Cleveland pregame did
offer what you, the reader, should have been looking for.�� I'd written how lousy Ben Taylor was --
despite some gaudy tackle statistics -- and lo and behold, despite a 6-yard
head of steam, he got dragged 3 yards into the EZ by Bettis for the TD.�� I'd written how lousy the 3 non-Davis LBers
are on that Clev squad.� I'd written
how, with Frye at QB, Shea and Heiden would see a plethora of dumpoffs.� Counting incomplete passes, these 2 were
thrown the ball a combined 12 times.�
I'd written how Ward was the key matchup for the Clev defense, and after
being quiet the past couple of weeks, he went out and torched the
Brownies.� I'd written how, with Fucillo
replacing the injured Faine, the Browns running game was doomed from the
get-go.� I'd written how the Stillers
had not done well in the face of adversity on the road, and fortunately, the
only adversity they faced the entire game was the drunken fan running onto the
field and disrupting an offensive formation in the 4Q.� I know many of you fans want to open a
pregame article and immediately jump to the last paragraph to read the
prediction.� My advice -- do yourself
some good and read the entire pregame article, in particular any pregame
written by Steel Phantom.� That's the
real benefit of our pregame analyses, and frankly, if someone can find better
analyses than ours, by all means, please let us know.� We'll be glad to put away our keyboards, crack open a beer, and
read a better pregame analysis.� At any
rate, bitch all you want, but this writer is 8 for 8 in predicting
Stiller playoff games since the 1997 season.�
And these weren't the baseless, whimsical, 3-sentence predictions that
you'll see at most outlets -- these were thorough, cogent analyses supported by
facts and wisdom.�
- Last, but
not least, Merry Christmas!���
(Still Mill
and Stillers.com -- the only nationally read coverage on the Pittsburgh
Stillers that has accurately predicted the how's and the why's of the past 4
Stiller playoff losses�.)