Loose Slag from The Still Mill (Mar 3, 2003)
- You have to love how the
Stillers jump on the first day of free agency and beat other teams to the
player the Stillers cherish most.� This
year's "first day prize" was the re-signing of TE Jerame Tuman to a
3-year deal worth about $1.1M per annum.�
Excuse me if I'm not applauding this deal with both hands and both
feet.� Regarding Tuman, I'd just written
last week in my Offseason Analysis: "Re-sign to a very moderate
contract.� DNL -- Do Not
Lavish."�� Giving a TE who
has caught all of 11 passes in 4 seasons in this day of capanomics $1.1M per
year in a 3-year deal, is about as close to lavishing as the foolhardy contract
that was given to Jon Witman a few years back.�
It's absolutely asinine.� Tuman's
never caught more than 1 pass in a single game, and has done little to
distinguish himself from the morass of mediocrity.� Oh, sure, I'll hear the scared cries of, "But�but all of our
TEs were FAs."� So what?� For a team that totally disdains the TE, who
cares if all the TEs are FAs??� It's not
like any of them would be missed in the passing game.� It's not like any other lumbering, oafish clod couldn't come in
and learn the blocking assignments.� If
this fatty signing means the end of Mark Bruener's days in Pittsburgh, then
I'll accept this deal with glee.� If not
-- and I fully expect Bruener to be here until at least 2008 -- this was yet
another Stiller example of bidding against themselves -- and only
themselves -- for a guy whom nobody else in the entire NFL was even remotely
interested.� Waiting about 3 weeks, the
Stillers could have likely signed the lonely, neglected Tuman to a 3-year deal
at half the cost.� �
- My apologies for not being
a member of the Tiny Tim Fan Club.�
Lewis joined in 2000, with the defense in transition.� The '99 version was victimized primarily by
Fat Joel Steed and Fat Levon Kirkland, who were 2 of the highest paid defenders
and also the 2 who were the most flabby and overweight.� Lewis had nowhere to go but up.� The draft of 2001 brought him manna from
heaven in the form of KenBell and Casey Hampton.� Added to that was the emergence of Aaron Smith, who'd rotten his
first two years in the NFL.� Showing
relative improvement from one year to the next (such as '00 to '01) doesn't
impress me, nor should it impress many out there.� The bigger pieces of the grading puzzle are preparation and
in-game adjustments, both of which Tiny Tim has failed miserably.� Reading his recent hilarious, no-brained
interviews, I am frankly embarrassed that this guy is even in a coordinator's
job for the Pittsburgh Stillers.� He
makes Brian Bozworth sound intelligent and makes Deion Sanders sound like he
knows defensive football strategy.� We
all know Cowher isn't very bright at all, but many a leader has succeeded in
all walks of life -- from school principal to CEO to even the presidency -- by surrounding
himself/herself with subordinates of high intellect, savvy, and skill.� Unfortunately, Tiny Tim ain't one of 'em.
- Another funny thing about
Tiny Tim:� He still has yet to grasp the
pure fact that his worst coverage LB is also his weakest pass-rushing LB.� Goes by the name of Jason GilDong.� And remember, Lewis is the genius who saw
fit to sit a healthy Kendrell Bell on the bench in passing downs, all because
Bell didn't fit Tiny Tim's cookie-cutter recipe for certain defensive
alignments.� Apparently, there's no room
in a defensive package for a player with Bell's rare combination of speed,
hitting, tackling, awareness, agility, and nose for the football.�
- I said in the Offseason
Analysis that I could live with a low tender to Poteat.� Once again, the Stillers patently
over-valued their own stiffs and gave the guy a mid-tender.� If the front office does its job in the
draft and free agency, then Poteat, by all rights, should have an extremely
difficult time making the roster in August, yet the Stillers pissed away money
by offering a no-name, no-production stiff a mid-tender instead of a minimum
tender.� Soon enough, Rooney will throw up
his hands in despair, and cry poor and claim that he simply cannot afford a
top-flight D-back.� Add up the money
pissed away on the Poteats, the Tumans, the Brueners, the Fialas, the
Alexanders, et al, and you could sign 3 top-flight D-backs, not just one.
- In keeping with the theme
of pissing away money on guys nobody else wanted, the Stillers cut kicker Todd
Peterson this past week.� For no
apparent reason whatsoever, the Stillers lavished Peterson with a 4-year deal
last spring, despite the fact that Peterson did absolutely nothing in his
tenure in Kansas City to impress anyone.�
The most irksome part (as a Stiller fan) of my long in-person meetings
with Chiefs GM Carl Peterson in October, was listening to his understated
dead-panning of, "Well, we're satisfied with how Morten Andersen is
kicking the football."�� Kind of
reminded me how Tommy Lee might have mused that, while married to Pamela
Anderson, how he was �satisfied� with her as a bedroom partner.� Peterson was a turd and everyone knew
it�.except the Pittsburgh Stillers.��
Come to think of it, this gross error in talent evaluation and lavishing,
also reminds me of Jason GilDong�
- With the cutting of Earl
Holmes by the Cleve Browns, many astute Stiller fans have tossed around the
idea of adding Holmes to the Stiller roster.�
Although the chances of it happening are slimmer than Jerome Bettis
reporting to camp in-shape and at 255 pounds, adding Holmes and moving James
Farrior to OLB, along with cutting the team's largest cap albatross, Jason
Gildon, would drastically improve this defense.� For starters, we already know that the mythical "Winged God
of LB Coverage" (Farrior) never quite lived up to his billing in terms of
improving the pass defense, so it matters not (in terms of pass defense) whether
Holmes or Farrior plays at ILB.�� Either
would sit in the dime defense, and that's where the Stiller defense receives
its most severe ass-whippings.� Holmes
is obviously the better run-stuffer.�
There will be a few cries about how Farrior couldn't possibly outplay
Gildon at OLB, which, as we know, is sheer balderdash.� Let's compare the two in the tasks and
attributes of an OLB:
����� Run Stuffing:�
Advantage, Farrior, by a large margin
����� Tackling & tackling technique:� Advantage, Farrior, by a massive margin
����� Pass Coverage:�
Advantage, Farrior, by a massive margin
����� Pass Rushing:�
Advantage, Gildon, by an infinitesimally small margin
����� Instincts:� Advantage,
Farrior, by a large margin
����� Intensity:� Advantage,
Farrior, by a large margin
����� Leadership:�
Advantage, Farrior, by a large margin
����� Toughness:� Advantage,
Farrior, by a large margin
����� On-field awareness:�
Advantage, Farrior, by a large margin�
There you have it.� Farrior is far superior in every aspect
except rushing, and even in that department, Farrior isn't very far behind The
Tittyfighting Paper Tiger, Jason GilDong.�
Replacing GilDong with Farrior would make too much sense�and provide too
much of an improvement�which is why it will never happen.
- Some would probably argue
that the signings of FBs Konrad and Neal (by Miami and SD) have "set the
market for Kreider".� That might be
partially true.� However, both of those
signings have at least partially dried up the number of teams in demand for
blocking FBs.� I certainly like
Kreider.� I admire his toughness and
brutality.� Hell, I discovered him long
before any of the Witman-loving Pittsburgh media and fan base did.� Still, I do not want to see a
one-dimensional FB lavished with a fatty contract.� With virtually every team pressed up against the ceiling of the
salary cap like a seal nosing up against the bottom of a boat, there's not too
many teams who are going to lavish a one-dimensional blocking back with a fatty
contract.� Knowing this, the Stillers can
use leverage and walk Kreider down the pay scale to something affordable
and not quite fatty.�
- Having said the above
about Kreider, I will admit: if Tuman is �worth� $1.1M for 3 years, Kreider is
worth about $1.8M for 3-4 years.� Any
stiff can fully replace Tuman.� Not that
many can replace Kreider.��
- Forget any of the silly
Joe millionaire or American Idol TV shows.�
The easiest, least stressful, and surest path to become a millionaire,
is to make the Stiller roster as a rookie, and then hang on by a thread and do
nothing the next 3 years.� When
restricted free agency calls, simply sit back and wait for the Stillers to
lavish you, and voila -- despite having done nothing and shown nothing, you've
now become a millionaire.� The game
shows require luck, or brilliance, at a very high level.� Why achieve at a high level on a game show,
when sub par mediocrity for the Pittsburgh Stillers can net far fattier
riches?��
- With several cuts -- such
as Earl Holmes and Todd Peterson -- occurring just before the FA period began in
order to avoid having to pay out roster bonuses, Steel Haven and
I have pondered:� Why should a
player agree to a roster bonus anyway?�
Why do players get suckered into a roster bonus that could ultimately be
the reason for their demise?� Yes, yes,
I'm well aware that bonus-giving has, for many years, been one of the tools to
help "play the numbers" of capanomics.� However, the tide has turned so heavily by savvy NFL GMs, that a roster
bonus nowadays has the approximate utility and value as an iron barbell thrown
to a drowning man.� Without the roster bonus,
a guy like Holmes or Peterson is probably still with his current team.� Now, the cut player has got to go out and
scavenge for work in a depressed market.�
It should be interesting to see what kind of bonuses players agree to
this spring and summer.�
- Gotta love the idea of
signing RB Stephen Davis and getting rid of the fatassed fatback, Jerome
Bettis.� Davis hasn't been anywhere near
as injury prone as Doughboy Bettis, and unlike Bettis, Davis believes in off-season
conditioning and weight control.�
Cutting The Rotund Running back, and signing Davis to a moderate 1-year
deal with plenty of incentives, would be a major coup.�
- Once again, muchos kudos
to my esteemed colleagues here, Phantom and Haven, for their splendid work on
the upcoming draft.� Please take the
time to read, digest, and assimilate their draft articles.� You won't find anything close to the depth,
breadth, and analysis of the draft, as what these two preeminent writers are
providing.����
(Still Mill and Stillers.com -- the only nationally read coverage on the Pittsburgh Stillers that has accurately predicted the how's and the why's of the past 3 Stiller playoff losses�.)