I WAS A DRAFT PRODIGY

I WAS A DRAFT PRODIGY

� ellipses, bad conventions and more

By Swissvale72

My friend, 43Seek&Destroy51, from the message board (heretofore referred to as 43/51), has offered me some feedback on my writing.� In his esteemed opinion, my articles are fraught with too many �ellipses and bad conventions.�� Truthfully, I�m not sure what 43/51 means, as I�ve not been a student for many years, and truthfully, I wasn�t exactly a stellar student during my school days (see, last year�s article, �D-III Academic Tales�).�� I believe that 43/51 is still a student.� To his credit, he attends Penn State (�We Are�).

Anyway, I�m thinking that 43/51 means �eclipses,� and I was always taught never to look directly at an eclipse of the sun, and I�ve certainly been to my share of �bad� conventions.�� In fact, most conventions I attend aren�t particularly worthwhile.� The best conventions, in fact, are the ones of which you blow off most sessions, like the one I recently attended in Anaheim.� I frequented the bail bond stands, the sushi joints, and the turnoffs from Santa Ana Canyon Rd. instead.� The Chicago convention back in November wasn�t bad.�� There�s more to that story, though.

Anyway, might it be the case that 43/51 is referring to my practice of using lots of dots, like this��.� Are those �ellipses?�� If so, I�ll tell you what, 43/51.� There will be no �ellipses� in this article.� I�m already finding it hard as hell.� And I�m sure you will let me know if I�m guilty of using �bad conventions� this time.

Long ago, young Stiller friends, the NFL Draft was held during the week.� It began, I believe on a Tuesday morning, and one had to rely on radio updates from KDKA or KQV directly from Steeler headquarters downtown, on 5^th Avenue.� My brother Tony and I, on Draft Eve, would predict the Steelers #1 pick.� We started this practice prior to the 1969 Draft, held in early January.

I�ll offer some background.� �On October 27^th, 1968, the winless Pittsburgh Steelers (0-6), faced off against the equally moribund Philadelphia Eagles, in a contest dubbed �The O.J. Simpson Bowl,� the conventional (there�s that word again) thinking that the loser of that game would gain the #1 draft pick, and pick the USC phenom.� I sat in the North End Zone of Pitt Stadium that day, my 13-year-old ass having trudged up DeSoto Street (Cardiac Hill) as making that walk entitled the ticket-buyer to plunk down $3 at the gate, rather than the $4 fare required for entry into the South End Zone.� It might have even been a Youth Day, where tickets purchased in advance at the Steelers office for a boy or girl, aged 16 or less, cost only a single dollar.

It was a grotesque event, that October 27^th of 1968 game, tied 3-3, with the Eagles facing a 4^th & 1 on their own 10-yard line at the 2-minute warning.� The Eagles attempted to pick up the first down, failed, and our Steelers kicked a field goal, for a 6-3 victory.� The crowd went wild, all 19,000 of us!!� That victory propelled the Steelers into a streak of sorts, beating the Falcons in Atlanta the following week, playing the Cardinals to a tie the following week,� prior to dropping their final 5 contests to end the �68 campaign with a 2-11-1 mark.� Neither the Steelers nor the Eagles finished with the worst record though.� That distinction was awarded the Buffalo Bills, who plunked O.J. with their first pick.� Atlanta followed with a selection of OT George Kunz.� The Eagles then chose Leroy Keyes from Purdue with the third selection.� Keyes was a �poor man�s O.J.� and also was rumored to have some skills as a corner.

On Draft Eve though, at 1619 Oak Grove Avenue in Swissvale, I remembered Tony a few weeks earlier having told me about �Mean Greene� of North Texas State.� I only later learned that his first name was not �Mean,� but rather, �Joe.�� I forget who Tony chose.� The 13-year-old prodigy though selected Joe Greene as the Steelers first choice, and the Steelers the next day, directly following the selection of the Emperor, Chaz Noll, as Head Coach, picked Joe Greene of North Texas State.

The picks directly following were interesting.� The Bungals picked QB Greg Cook, San Diego with the 9^th pick, chose QB Marty Domres of Columbia.� For the record, I applied to Columbia.� Nowadays, high school guidance counselors advise parents to have their kids apply to 3 types of colleges:

1. Safety Schools (a school that your kids knows will take them if nothing else works out)
2. Match Schools (schools that you think will accept your kid, and would be a good fit academically)
3. Reach Schools (maybe your kid will get lucky, and a better school might accept them).

For me, Columbia was none of the above.� Columbia would be a WTFWYT School (What the Fuck Were You Thinking!!).

Who needed Columbia.� I was a Draft Prodigy.� The 1970 draft was an absolute no-brainer.� I couldn�t have gotten it wrong if I tried.� Everyone on the planet knew that the Steelers would select Terry Bradshaw of Louisiana Tech.� Something tells me know that, that half of the posters on Stillers.com would have called this one incorrectly.� Anyway, two seminal events brought Terry Bradshaw to Pittsburgh.� On November 9^th, 1969, the 1-6 Pittsburgh Steelers faced the 0-7 Bears in Chicago.� The Bears destroyed the Steelers, 38-7.� This was the game where rookie Joe Greene reportedly spit in the face of Dick Butkus.� Both teams ended the season with 1-13 records, and then the Steelers won the infamous coin flip entitling them to the #1 draft pick.� But wait a minute!!� Would it not have been more appropriate, more in keeping with the system, for the loser of the coin flip to be awarded first pick.� Should not the team that had the worst record on the field and lost the coin flip, been awarded the opportunity to pick first.� Well, lucky for us, that was not the case.� The Steelers picked Ozark Ike, the Bears traded out of the #2 selection to their Cheesehead neighbors, and the Packers selected DT Mike McCoy from Notre Dame.� The Cleve Brownies, dunderheads always, then chose Mike Phipps, QB from Purdue, with the #3 overall pick.� Penn State�s Mike Reid, whose college play resembled Mean Joe�s at the DT position, was chosen by the Bengals in the 7^th position.� The snakebitten Bengals, having finally taken a tough playmaker, were victimized by Reid�s early retirement to be a concert pianist, later winning a grammy for his original scores (don�t quote me on that one).

The Draft Prodigy had his finest hour on Draft Eve 1971.� I decided to make a bonus pick on Draft Eve, not only predicting, per our tradition, the Steelers #1 pick, but their #2 pick as well.� I made the call of Grambling WR Frank Lewis as the # 1 pick, the #8 overall selection, then further predicted that the Steelers would draft Penn State LB Jack Ham with their second pick.� I hit the Daily Double on that one.� Jim Plunkett was the #1 pick in the draft, Dan Pastorini went as the #3 selection, John Riggins (who Penn State stopped on a 4^th & 1 that would have iced the game for Kansas in the �69 Orange Bowl, the famous 12 men on the field game) was selected in the #6 position.� Riggo�s brother, Junior Riggins, also played for that Kansas Jayhawk team.� Plenty of no-names were chosen before the Steelers picked up the Future Hall of Famer on the second round.�

The Draft Prodigy, now aging around his 17^th birthday, extended his magical selections by predicting that the Steelers would select Franco Harris with the 13^th overall choice in the 1972 draft.�� Before we continue the criticism of Bill Cowher, for his reported disinclination to select Ben Roethlisberger with the Steelers first pick in the �04 Draft, let�s remember that The Emperor, Chaz Noll, preferred Robert Newhouse as the Steeler�s first selection.� Interestingly, Newhouse was not chosen by the Cowboys until the second round, with the 35^th overall selection.� Franco�s more popular Penn State teammate, Lydell Mitchell, you ask.� He was chosen by the Colts, not until the second round with the 48^th overall selection.� In a draft oddity, Mitchell was the Colts final choice of 3 consecutive second round picks.

In 1973, The Draft Prodigy was 18 years old, a college freshman, had registered for the Selective Service, and had squandered his Draft Magic.� I don�t remember who I predicted as the Steelers #1 choice in the 1973 draft, but it was not J.T. Thomas from Florida State.� Maybe it was due to my no longer being within the friendly four walls of 1619 Oak Grove Avenue, but instead living in Hammond Hall in Annville, Pa.� Maybe it was due to the pollutants that find their way to my mind during my college years.� It would be another 30 years until the Draft Prodigy, now no longer a Prodigy called one right, that being Troy Polamalu in 2003 (but that was not a very hard call).

Wow; I think I�ve done it 43/51!!� I don�t believe there are any ellipses herein.� What about the Bad Conventions, though??� Please let me know.