Loose Slag from The Still Mill (Feb.13th, 2003)

- I realize I'm a bit late to comment on this, but I still need to do so.� Jerome Bettis actually had the gaul to claim he "was about 6 or 7 pounds overweight � about 257" at his heaviest this season.� Oh, sure�and Oliver Ross only weighed 290 and Casey Hampton only weighed 305.� It's appalling that a player of Bettis' stature thinks he can "get over" on the hometown fans with what amounts to the biggest lie in sports since the "Black Sox Scandal" some 80 years ago.� What's even more appalling is that the entire Pittsburgh media corps sat fallow and did nothing to report the brutal, honest truth about what a bloated fatass Bettis had become during the season.�

- Speaking of liars, one of the nation's great sportswriters, Bob Smizik of the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette, had this witty gem to say about Pgh. Penguins GM Craig Patrick after Patrick traded 1 of the truly premier hockey players in the NHL (Alex Kovalev) for a bag of practice pucks:� "If a new league sprouted tomorrow and called only for the talent of telling boldfaced lies without so much as cracking a smile, and if every person on the planet was eligible for selection to participate, Craig Patrick would be, at the least, a high first-round draft choice.� When it comes to not telling the truth, Patrick is a combination Babe Ruth and Michael Jordan. He dwarfs the field."� Smizik, of course, is 100% correct in his witty crack on Patrick.� What Smizik left out, however, was that Patrick shares the title of dwarfing the world as a bald-faced liar, with none other than The Fatback, Jerome Bettis.� Claiming he weighed only 257 -- when he clearly weighed at least 20 pounds more, and probably 30 -- was one of the most disgraceful attempts at deceit in sporting history.�

- Speaking of liars, who is the biggest liar you know?�� a.) Saddam Hussein� b.) Craig Patrick� c.) Jerome Bettis� d.) too close to call

- Unlike the Stillers -- who spent last offseason merely content to keep what they had and did absolutely nothing in the veteran market to upgrade a single position on the team -- the Bucs were busy adding to the cupboard.� RB M. Pittman and WR J. Jurevicious considerably bolstered two of the weaker positions on the Buc roster.� And, often overlooked in Tampa's march to the title, was the addition of veteran TE Ken Dilger, who gave Johnson a trusty, competent safety valve and provided steady, solid play.� Amazing how the Bucs were able to pound the ball on the ground in their Super Bowl win -- to the tune of 150 yards -- without big, bad Mark Bruener at TE, and instead Ken Dilger.� According to the most hard-headed of Steeler fans, a team simply cannot run the ball without The God of Blocking, Mark Bruener, there at TE to "lead the way".� The last 3 Super Bowls have been won by teams who pounded the ball quite well on the ground -- Balt, NE, and now Tampa.� And not one of those teams employed Mark Bruener.�

- Speaking of Tampa, the TE position, and running the football -- it's well known that when the Bucs need to grind out some room in short-yardage situations, they bring in a defensive end to play TE.� Guy by the name of Warren Sapp.� The Stillers have had unbelievable success at pulling the wool over their fans' eyes for 8 (eight) years with the blathering about how God-like and important Mark Bruener is for running the football.� Tampa doesn't have the God of Blocking to pave the way; instead, they merely take a defensive end -- a guy who's never played regularly as a blocker in college or the NFL -- and have him play TE.� That should tell you just how "important" and "invaluable" and "irreplaceable" Mark Bruener is.�

- Muchos kudos to my esteemed colleagues here, Phantom and Haven, for their splendid work on the upcoming draft.� Please take the time to read, digest, and assimilate their draft articles.� You won't find anything close to the depth, breadth, and analysis of the draft, as what these two preeminent writers are providing.����

- Since the Stillers bowed out of the playoffs, fans have vehemently thrown blame at the slowest safety duo on the NFL, Lee Flowers and Brent Alex.� These two bootfooted oafs deserve blame, no doubt.� Their play was shameful and disgraceful.� However, it's a mistake to throw the entire blame at the safeties and claim an upgrade at that position will instantly morph the Stiller pass defense into a stingy, swarming gang of bandits.� Last year, fans went overboard to the point of absurdity, placing the entire blame of the pass defense on one man, Earl Holmes.� It didn't matter, of course, that Holmes sat while the team's nickel defense and dime defense was getting shredded.� Once a couple jackassed, no-brained sportswriters pinned the blame on Holmes, the entire Steeler fan base threw the blame on Earl Holmes.� He departed as a free agent, and was replaced by The Winged God of LB Coverage, James Farrior�yet the pass coverage still stunk like manure.� This offseason, upgrading both safety spots will certainly help.� No question about that.� However, two glaring problems will still exist.� The CBs, unless numbskull head coach Billy Cowher makes an adjustment after 11 years of stupidity, will still play 12 yards off the LOS, and those easy slants, ins, and outs will still be there for the easy takin' and pickin's.� Having good safeties means little if your CBs never change their alignment; never change their tactics; and never do anything to disrupt opposing receivers as they break off the LOS.� Secondly, the softee pass-rush -- "led" by defensive captain Jason GilDong -- is such a joke that opposing QBs often complain of cramps and blisters from having to stand in the pocket so long when facing the Stillers.� At this level, passing against non-existent pass pressure is as easy as throwing a ball through a tire from 10 feet away in the calm of your backyard.� Tampa swarmed and harassed Gannon all evening long.� Against the Stillers, Gannon had enough time to eat a sandwich back in the pocket, while vaunted pass rushers like Jason GilDong pawed and groped at the breasts of opposing blockers.

- Speaking of safety -- as much as the Stillers need an upgrade at safety, there cannot be an absurd reach for a safety in the upcoming draft, merely to fill the void.� "Best football player available" must be the credo.�� If you disagree, harken back to April 1999 and the reach at Troy Edwards to address a pitiful Stillers' WR corps�

- If ever there was an example of what a head coach means to the attainment of a championship, it is John Gruden.�� If Gruden had been replaced by Billy Cowher -- the coach most Steeler fans cling to like an infant to a pacifier -- the Buccaneers would have quietly bowed out after, at best, a first round playoff win.�

- Some will pooh-pooh Gruden's accomplishments, claiming that "he had the luxury of knowing the Raider attack" and so on.� Besides the absurdity of such a claim, consider this: If Billy Cowher ever had the "luxury of facing his old team", exactly what would he be able to expound upon and exploit?� Cowher's been here 11 (eleven) seasons, and there's not a single shred of any system or innovation that Cowher has personally invented and installed.� Not one.� The 3-4 defense, for example -- which some Steeler fans think Billy Cowher invented, was rolled out by Red Miller & Denver in circa 1977.� And any innovations -- such as the zone blitz -- that occurred under Cowher's watch were actually invented and promulgated by Cowher's assistants, not Billy himself.� Not only is Cowher a perennial flop when it comes to exploiting other team's weaknesses, but if he were to face an "old team of his", he'd have no clue as to what that old team did, because he himself never established any system of significance, utility, or purpose.�

- During the offseason, if anyone sees The Flopper, Jason GilDong, please let us know.� No one's seen him since he collected some Dong stats against the lowly likes of Houston and Carolina �.�

�(Still Mill and Stillers.com -- the only nationally read coverage on the Pittsburgh Stillers that has accurately predicted the how's and the why's of the past 3 Stiller playoff losses�.)