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The 2001 Season-in-Review GilDong Report

January 14, 2002 by Still Mill

The 2001 Season-in-Review GilDong Report

In light of many a fan being bamboozled and ga-ga over Jason Gildong's 11 sacks in '98 --- despite only 2 being anywhere near "earned sacks" --- I've devoted considerable time the past 2 seasons to monitor the work of the exceptionally average Jason Gildon. Gildon, as you may recall, hoodwinked enough voters in '00 to be voted in to a reserve spot in the Pro Bowl, and repeated that feat in �01. Jason has been famous enough with his coverage sacks, flop sacks, the QB-slipped-on-the-wet-turf sacks, the OT totally forgot his blocking assignment sacks, and so on, that the NFL designated a new statistic, called the "Dong Sack�", in honor of Jason Gildong. (Some fantasy football leagues are incorporating this into their point systems.) Again in '01, I'll take time to expose Jason Gildon for the fraud that he truly is.

As faithful readers here can attest to, each week during the entire season I pored through every inch of tape to review the work of Big Jason Gildon, the fearsome OLB of the Stillers. (Each Gildong Report is available for your perusal, under the "Articles" page, and then under "Still Mill".) I feel confident that no fan in America has studied the tape of The Paper Tiger as I have. Furthermore, because the Stillers played only 11 unique opponents in 2001, no less that 23 teams� coaching staff and players watched exactly zero amounts of tape on Big Jason. That�s right, zero. No one can convince me that any player or coach from a team NOT on the Stillers schedule has watched a single minute of gametape of Jason Gildon during the '01 season. Nada. They may have watched a little ESPN, but certainly not gametape. I�d sooner buy stock in Enron than believe that St. Louis coach Mike Martz, as busy as he is in his weekly planning, had any time to watch more than 5 minutes of game film on Jason Gildon, a player who plays for a team that is not on the Rams� schedule. Don�t try telling me that Washington tackle Chris Samuels, or any of his teammates, watched much during weekly film sessions of any players not scheduled to face the Redskins during this season. I doubt John Gruden and his offensive linemen spent their scarce spare time watching many tapes of Steeler games, other than the tape of an upcoming opponent who�d already played the Stillers. And I highly doubt that Gruden, nor his staff, not any of his players, attended a Steeler game in-person. The Stillers only played one MNF game, in which Big Jason had a rather uninspiring effort, to include 1 sack when McNair took a ridiculous 11-yard drop on a pass play.

The table below, exclusive to Stillers.com, summarizes each of Jason Gildong's sacks during 2001:

#

Game

Opp.

Game Time

Down/ Dist.

Whom beat

Added Description

Result

Jar or strip

Earned/ Dong

0

1

@ Jax

none

N/A

no one

Faced rookie RT Maurice Williams

N/A

none

----

1

2

@ Buff

13:00 3Q

3d & 11

no one

Johnson was flushed to right by Porter, who was lined up at LOLB.  Gildon was lined up at LDE, and stunted toward the center.  However, Gildon never got further than 2 feet past the line of scrimmage, instead getting bullied by the center.   Upon seeing Johnson scramble, Jason ran laterally to his left, and was able to weakly corral a slowly juking Johnson short of the LOS.

Sack, -4

none

Dong

--

3

Cinci

none

N/A

no one

Faced RT Willie Anderson.

N/A

none

----

2

4

@ KC

12:35 3Q

N/A

RT Willie Jones

Starting RT Vic Riley got hurt. On very 1st play by Jones, Jason took advantage, cutting inside of Jones while Jones clumsily fell on his face.

Sack, -3

none

Earned

--

5

@ Tampa

none

N/A

no one

Faced RT Jerry Wunsch

N/A

none

-----

3

6

Tenn.

9:44 4Q

3d & 15

RT Fred Miller

McNair faded back a full 11 yards and WLR (Wide Loop Rush) got him.

Sack, -8

none

Dong

--

7

Balt.

none

N/A

no one

RT was Kip Vickers, and then backup RT Sammy Williams played from 2Q, on.

N/A

none

Dong

4

8

@ Clev.

5:38 3Q

2d & 8

no one

No one touched or blocked 92, who came in from left end and had clear, easy sack.

Sack, -7

none

Dong

5

8

@ Clev.

4:08 4Q

2d & 10

RT Roger Chanoine

RT was flat-footed and didn't lay a hand on 92, who looped around him.

Sack, -5

none

Dong

6

8

@ Clev.

0:38 4Q

2d & 16

RT Roger Chanoine

Looped around Chanoine for sack.

Sack, -5

yes

Earned

7

9

Jax

0:34 4Q

1st & 10

RT Maurice Williams

Looped around clumsy rookie Williams, who barely got fingernails on Gildon

Sack, -9

none

Dong

--

10

@ Tenn.

none

N/A

no one

Faced RT Fred Miller, 5th round draft pick '96, not re-signed after Rams won Super Bowl

N/A

none

---

--

11

Minn.

none

N/A

no one

Faced RT Chris Liwienski, 7th round draft pick in '98.

N/A

none

---

--

12

NYJ

none

N/A

no one

Faced RT Ryan Young, 7th round draft pick in '99.

N/A

none

---

8

13

@ Balt.

13:15 1Q

2d & 8

RB Moe Williams

Gildon untouched off LOS, then pushed through RB M. Williams and got sack

sack, -5

none

Earned

9

14

Detroit

0:48 3Q

3d & 12

no one

Untouched QB tripped onto his face, Gildon then came over and touched him for the "sack"

sack, -5

none

Dong

10

14

Detroit

0:54 4Q

3d & 7

no one

QB flushed from pocket by A. Smith, and Gildon came over from RG area and nabbed him.

sack, -9

none

Dong

11

15

@ Cinci

8:57 1Q

1st/goal on 1

no one

Kitna rolled right. RG Mike Goff pulled and drifted too far, and Gildon came up untouched and got sack

sack, -4

none

Dong

12

15

@ Cinci

8:44 4Q

4th & 6

RT Willie Anderson

Cut inside RT and got Kitna, but grabbed facemask and luckily wasn't flagged.

sack, -4

none

Dong

--

16

Clev.

none

N/A

no one

RT was Roger Chanoine, undrafted free agent '98.

N/A

none

---

A summary of Big Jason's sacks:

* 9 -- or 75% -- of his sacks were Dong Sacks.

* Of his 3 Earned Sacks --

�. One came on the very first play after KC starting RT Vic Riley broke his leg. The backup tackle (Willie Jones) who entered the game on the spur-of-the-moment hadn�t seen the field since pregame warm-ups.

�. One came when Jason looped around one of the premier tackles in all of pro football, Roger Chanoine of Cleveland.

�. One came when Jason was solo-blocked only by backup RB Moe Williams.

* In the 4 games he played against teams that ended up making the playoffs (Baltimore twice, Jets, and Tampa), who also were the only opponents that finished above .500, Jason finished with 1 sack, that on the play in which he was left all alone against smallish backup RB Moe Williams.

* 11 sacks -- or 92% -- of Big Jason's sacks came against teams who finished with losing records (Jax, Cinci, Clev, Tenn., Buffalo, KC, Minn., and Detroit).

* Of the top 3 worst teams in the NFL in terms of sacks allowed, Detroit finished tied #1 (66 sacks); Jax #2 (63 sacks); and Cleveland #3 (51 sacks). Jason collected 7 of his 12 sacks against these sieve-like weaklings.

* 2 sacks -- one versus Jax and one versus Detroit -- came in the last minute of games with the Steelers well ahead on the scoreboard.

Bear in mind, of course, that LINEBACKER is also more than collecting slop sacks. Linebackers are SUPPOSED to offer run support, which Jason feebly & infrequently did all year long. I lost track of the number of times Big Jason got totally duped on bootlegs and reverses. Moreover, Jason continually gave up gobs of yardage off-tackle and around end all season long. The way teams continually ran by Big Jason in 2001 was downright shameful and sickening. But hey -- the NFL doesn't keep track of "getting whipped off the snap", or "getting bullied and manhandled by a FB or TE", or "flailing and whiffing at a ballcarrier", or "number of times bamboozled by a bootleg or reverse". The NFL keeps track of sacks, and Big Jason -- who benefits from playing opposite Joey Porter; who benefits from playing against lethargic cupcakes like Detroit, Cinci, Jax, Cleveland, Tennessee, KC, and Buffalo; and who benefits from being on the field for 99% of all snaps, manages to collect enough slop sacks to fool voters into voting him to a spot on the pro bowl over several far more deserving players. What's even more amusing is that 7 other players on his own team had more total tackles than he did. Gildon, for the record, finished 46th amongst all AFC linebackers in combined tackles. Putting this into perspective, consider that there are 16 teams in the AFC, and all but one use the 4-3 defense, so this means there are essentially 49 starting LBs in the conference. And out of those 49, "Pro Bowler" Jason Gildon finished 46th. Pathetic.

Some humorous pictures of Jason The Flopper during this 2001 season:

- While QB Brad Johnson rolls to his right, Jason continues running in the opposite direction, thus enabling the unfettered Johnson to complete an easy TD pass.

- While ILB Earl Holmes makes a heroic vault to stop Priest Holmes on this goal-line dive, Jason Gildong (gold arrows) gets buried onto his back.

- On a draw play by Raven FB Ayanbadejo, Roadkill Gildon gets his ass tossed back 8 yards. I hadn�t seen anything this ridiculous -- or this funny -- since the night I watched dwarf-tossing in Las Vegas a few years back.

 

 

- In the PICTURE OF THE YEAR, Big Jason Gildon gets mauled 7 yards off the ball by TE Shannon Sharpe. Jason then has a chance to blast RB Moe Williams out of bounds, but instead politely steps aside -- with both hands raised in the air -- as if to say, "Excuse me, sir�after you".

 

Big Jason�s newfound tackling technique�.squat down, facing away from the direction of the football, on all fours like a downtrodden pumperboy, and then flail an arm up at the unsuspecting ballcarrier�.

- Jason�s Flop-and-Flail, as shown on Bennett�s 36-yard run in overtime in week 15�.

 

- Jason�s idea of "run support" -- turn his back to the blocking RB and hope for a flag�..

 

- Jason in the midst of getting mauled 7 yards from the line of scrimmage by backup TE Jake Moreland, resulting in an easy 14-yard gain��

 

- Jason at the end of a reverse around his end. The Flopper has a shot at Quincy Morgan, but flails and flops to the ground. Don�t laugh -- while sitting on his ass, Jason actually gets credit for an assist on this 23-yard play�..

 

- After Aaron Smith bulls his way to the QB, and with the help of Kimo, sacks Tim Couch in the season finale, Jason happened by and touched Couch as he was lying on the ground.��� What you see below is Jason repeatedly pointing to the ground, signaling �I touched him down�, in a pathetic, sickening attempt to steal a sack from Smith/Kimo and claim it as his own.

Stay tuned. Even during the playoffs, I�ll compile The GilDong Report 2-3 days after each game.

Season ending totals for Jason, in 16 games:

Earned Sacks: 3
Dong Sacks�: 9
Strips, Jars, fumbles caused: 2

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