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Stillers- Pats Postgame Analysis and Grades

October 23, 2016 by Still Mill

Pats 27, Stillers 13 ……. Oct 23, 2016…………Game # 7


Stillers- Pats Postgame Analysis and Grades


The 4-2 Stillers, without Ben, hosted the rival Pats (5-1).    The Stillers clawed to within a point in the 3Q, but promptly allowed a 75-yard TD march.   The Stillers had a chance in the 4Q, but Stoogelin eschewed a 4th & 2 attempt and ordered a 54-yard FG, which of course was no good.   The result was yet another whipping administered by NE.  




Jones - good deep crosser to AB, 2nd series, for 24.   But then threw a completely vomit-spewing, underthrown pass to AB in the EZ for a killer INT.   Then threw a wretched, quail-like bomb on the next series that was woefully underthrown, so badly that DHB had to commit an OPI to prevent another INT.     Decent flag pass to AB, 2Q, for 51 yards.    Then miraculously hit DHB with a 3D lob for a TD a few plays later.   Good deep lob to Hamilton, who was BLATANTLY HELD and unable to haul in the pass with 1 hand.    Nearly threw a horrible INT, late 2Q, on a high risk, foolish jam-in of a pass to a well covered WR in the EZ.    Had Bell on a wheel route in the EZ, first play of 4Q, but as is his wont, the pass was underthrown.     The very late game drive was a complete circus, looking like some 8th grade sandlot team.    


I have never seen a healthy, fairly athletic, under-30 (years of age) QB so timid and afraid to fuking RUN the ball for yardage.    You’ll note that not once did this urine chugger actually run north-south for yardage on broken plays, scrambles, etc.       Laundry played ok in spots, but then played like vomit in too many other spots.    Far too many failures on 3rd down as well as in/near the red zone, and a woeful 2nd half.    D+



DeAngelo – did not dress, due to a knee.


Bell - fumbled on his first carry, but recovered, although the gain was negated to just a half-yard.   Stellar, twisting, churning run, 2Q, for 14 yards.   Big RAC, late 2Q, good for 22 yards.    Had 81 yards on 21 rushes, plus 10 grabs for 68.    Gutty effort.    A


Toussaint - played just a couple token plays at RB.   



David Johnson grabbed a short pass and got blasted, 1Q.  



Brownie – hauled in 51-yard pass, 2Q.     Hobbled to the sideline, late 3Q.    His left thigh/hip was injured.   He came back onto the field to start the 4Q.    Had 7 grabs for 106.     B


Pinkie Wheaton –  Mister Sofftee has a sore shoulder, so he again sat this game out.   


Coates - Walked to locker room just 5 minutes into the game.    Played sparingly.    Flagged for OPI late in game.     D


Rogers - did not play.    


Heyward-Gay – flagged for OPI, 1Q, although this was simply to break up an INT on a poor pass.   Superb haul and 2-feet footwork for a TD catch, mid 2Q.   Had another TD grab, but it was negated by Mother Hubbard.   Grabbed short pass, late 1H, but stupidly cut INSIDE instead of simply getting the yardage and going OOB.   Allowed a short grab to squirt from his mitts, 4Q.      B


Hamilton - blatantly had his 1 arm HELD on a deep lob, late 2Q, but no flag was thrown.   Grabbed short pass, 3Q.   Then made a stellar grab a few plays later  of a low pass, 3d & 10, for 15 yards.   3 plays later, on another 3D, made a clutch 17-yard grab to move the chains.   B



Jesse James - 2 grabs for 18, which obviously isn’t enough with all the attention AB draws.     C


Grimble - grabbed a short pass, 1st series.    Dropped a tough but catchable pass, 2Q.    Committed a bone-headed false start, late 3Q.   Dropped a valve dump, mid 4Q.   Grabbed a 9 yard pass, late 4Q.      C


OL:  Overall, the line played decently, both in run blocking and pass pro.   The penalties, however, continually bogged down an offense that could not afford the bogging with Ben standing on the sideline.  


Villeneueva -  Joined the party with a jack-assed false start, late 3Q.  


Gilbert -  FatAss Marcus again sat due to injury.  


Hubbard - Got another start at RT.   Committed a false start immediately after the 24 yard pass to AB set up PIT with a 1st & 10 at the NE 20.    Flagged for a hold, 2Q, negating the 2nd DHB TD.    Collins, the pass rusher, was slipping on this play, so this flag was a bit anticipatory and ticky tack.       


Foster – played ok. 


Pouncey - flagged for a hold on a RUNNING play, 4Q, which just enraged me.   


DeCastro – Drew raves by Phil Simms on plays in which he didn’t  even make a block.     Played adequately.    


DL:    The DL got gashed like bitches during the first half, allowing Blount gaping holes to gallop through. 


Hargrave - moved as slow as whaleshit on a key 3d & 3 scramble, late 2Q, that Brady easily converted.   For all the raving about his quickness, he looked slower than Casey Hampton.    And, once again, he did next to nothing, with a whopping ONE solo.    C


McCullers - did nothing.   


Heyward – sat out again.  


Tuitt – Stephonie finally did SOMETHING, bottling up Blount on a run up RT late in the 1Q.    Otherwise, did nothing.    Had 2 solos in yet ANOTHER mouse-quiet effort.    D+


Matthews - got the start.   Did absolutely nothing.  



Timmons – flashed up and nabbed Edelman on a WR screen, 1Q.    Clumsily got chopped down on the screen pass that went for a TD, giving NE a 7-0 lead.    Had 11 solos, many after catches by Edelman in a hopeless mismatch.      B


Shaquier – finally dressed, but rightfully did not start in favor of Vinnie.   He entered the game late in the 1Q.   Sniffed out a screen, early 2Q, and nearly INT’d it.    Did very little else.   0 solos.     C  


Moats - lots of PT, little impact.   In fact, 0 solos and 2 As.      C-  


Harrison –    see Moats.     0 solos, 1 A.     C-  


Jones –  forced a fumbled on the Pats opening play, and then even had the presence of mind to recover it.     Nabbed Blount on 2nd series.   Then flashed in and dropped Blount a few plays later for a 1 yard loss.   Good swim move, first play of 2H, forcing a Brady throw-away.   Then, 2 plays later, again abused Solder, the LT, and forced a holding flag.    Had 5 solos and 2 As, which was far, far better than last week’s wretched effort.     A


Chickillo - on an early 3d & 9, stupidly got sucked inside, allowing the slow-footed Brady to scramble to his right and then calmly complete an easy 14 yard pass.    0 solos despite a ton of PT.    C+ 


Vinnie W. -  Got the start over Yancey Shazier.   Had 3 solos.   


Dupree – did not dress




Golden  – tooled badly on the Gronk TD, 6:19 3Q.    Got sucked inside on the Blount 11 yard run, early 4Q.    Completely tooled and abused by Gronk on a SMPLE flag route a few plays later, resulting in Gronk being WIDE open for a  37 yard gain.    F 


Mitchell – tooled badly by Gronk on 3d & 9, early 2Q.   Supposedly a big, tough he-man, he just meekly WAVED and skirted Blount on the short TD plunge, 2Q.    Took an unbelievably assaholic angle on the Blount 25 yard run, 3Q.   On the Gronk TD, 6:19 3Q, Piss-Ass Mike Bitchell was NOWHERE to be found, biting needlessly waaaaay over on the other wide of the field for ZERO reason.   You have GRONK as a wingback on the NE left side of the LT.     Only ONE  WR lined far right.    Bitchell is THE ONLY deep safety.   And he fucking DRIFTS waaaaaaay over, giving Golden ZERO help on Gronk.   Complete rhinoceros shit.     Someday, this worthless piss-ass will break up a downfield pass.   Some day.      F


Gay  -  just meekly waved at Blount on the TD run, 4Q.     C-


Cockrell - played ok.  


Burns - flagged 15 yards for a rough, but legal, tackle after a 13 yard pass completion.  Complete bullshit of a flag.   The whistle had no blown, and this was not a QB with the ball in the pocket.   The call SHOULD have been "unnecessary officiating".  I’m still fuking pissed off over this flag. 


Davis -  Not sure if he ever saw the field on D.  


Justin Gilbert -  not permitted to play on D.     


Sharko Thomas – did not dress, due to injury. 


Spec teams:  

Jordan Berry – punted ok.    Good, booming punt that went OOB at the NE 16 for a 55-yard punt, late 1Q.   Rebounded from last week’s dismal effort.    B+


Boswell – shanked a 42-yard FG, 2Q, which would have cut the NE lead to just 4 points.   Booted a chippie 32-yard FG, late 2Q, making it 14-10 when it should have been 14-13.    Booted a 46 yard FG, 3Q, to make it a 1-point game.   Booted a 44-yard FG early 4Q to make it a 4 point game.   Then was wide right, AGAIN, on a 54-yard FG in the 4Q.    He was pushing the ball right all evening long.      D-   


AB – did nothing in the PR game.  


Matakevich made the stop on an early punt.    Nix was flagged for a hold on a NE punt, early 3Q, costing the team 10 yards in FP.    Stevie Johnson forced a fumble in punt coverage, 4Q, and Warren recovered it.   



The offense continually bogged down once the field shortened.   Wasted TO by the offense, 11:42 3Q, which enraged me.   There wasn’t a singly clever or unique ploy by Haley in the entire game.     Very drab.     C  



Keith Assler finally faced an above average veteran QB, and he got his ass shredded in the process.   Brady went 19 of 26, with at least 3 of those inc’s being pure drops by WIDE open receivers.  


Assler started the game, insisting on having Timmons cover EDELMAN, of all people, on short crossers.   Just 1 minute into the 2Q, Edel already had 5 grabs.   Assler insisted on this during more or less the entire game, with Edelman just riddling the defense to the tune of 9 grabs.  


3d & 8, mid 2Q, Brady had alllll day, and then a dumoff to a WIDE open Bolden was dropped, which would have easily gained 12 yards.      


The pass pressure was mostly feeble.  When they did manage some pressure, they allowed Brady to easily escacpe for key 3rd downs.   Only team in NFL capable of making Brady look like Fran Fuking Tarkenton.  


The Stillers had made it a 1 point game in the 3Q.  What does Assler do?   Why, he allows the Pats to race right down the field, in just 5 plays, for a cake-walk TD.    


A week after getting gashed by Ajayi, Assler got gashed by Blount for 127 yards on 24 carries.     Just sickening.     Add in yet another game with Zero sacks, and feeble pressure, and you have a steaming pile of shit.    F


HC:  Mike Dumblin remains all talk, no brains.   Once again, Stoogelin gets his buttocks whipped by Bellichick.   


Foolish challenge of the Gronk catch, early 2Q.   This catch had, oh, about a .00008% chance of being over-turned.   


Even more foolish, he assaholically ordered a 54-yard FG try, down ELEVEN in the 4Q, on a 4th and 2.    4th and fuking TWO, and Stoogelin is ordering a long range FG, down by ELEVEN, which of course was no good.  A 54 yarder into the tough end of Heinz?   There might have been 1 FG made from that distance and that direction in the history of the fukin stadium.   Maybe.   Just really fukin stupid.     Big Mike talks bravado, and then makes a chickenshit decision to try a Heinz Field record (or close to it) 54 yard FG.  


The defense continues to sag and stink, and Stoogelin, supposedly the D-side expert, stands ossified and does absolutely nothing to rectify the madness.    And for those holding pity parties for Michael the Almighty because his starting QB is injured, let us not forget that Bellichick -- who is 14 times the better head coach -- is now 6-1 this year despite having used 3 starting QBs.    F


Synopsis:  The streak is now 2 losses, with a bye week mercifully coming up next weekend.   Then, it’ll be road trip to Balt, which always -- always -- is a tight, 2-point game, regardless of how sickly and sorry the PoeBirds are.   By the time the Cowpokes visit to Pgh ends on Nov 13th, this team could easily be 4-4 and reeling.   



(Still Mill and -- when it comes to the analysis of the Pittsburgh Stillers, no one else comes close….)

Follow Mill on Twitter, at StillMill1


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