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Stillers-PoeBirds Postgame Analysis and Grades

January 09, 2022 by Still Mill

Stillers 16, Ratbirds 13 (OT).....Jan 9, 2022 …………Game # 17


Stillers-PoeBirds Postgame Analysis and Grades


The 8-7-1 Stillers mosied to Balt to face the hated 8-8 PoeBirds.   It was a dull 3-3 tie at the half.  The Stillers stormed back to go ahead 13-10 late in the 4Q, but of course The Softee Defense allowed Balt to march for the tying FG.    In OT, Ben led an impressive march that ended in a Boswell GW FG, for the win.  



QB:   Ben started in his last reg season game.   

First 3d & 8….and Ben gets the snap, and within a MILLISECOND, fires an immediate pass to a split-out Harris…..for FOUR yards. Brilliant !!!    Harris injured his hand, to boot.   


Poor misfire to an open Clay, 2d series.   Hideous INT, late 1Q, via a deepish, lollipopped lob off his BACK foot, into double coverage on a pass to GayGay McClod.  Forcing a pass into double coverage on THE worst receiver on the roster…..brilliant !!


8 of 15, 66 yards and 1 INT to close out the 1H. 


Moronically allowed the playclock to get to 0:00 and had to waste a TO, 6:25 4Q. 


Passed for 197 yards in regul.    Superb pass to FryBoy in OT on 3d & 7 to move the chains.  Had a stellar completion to RayRay MClod in OT, but McClod, the clod, dropped the pass.   Undaunted, Ben hit McClod on 4th down to move the chain, and soon later Boswell booted the GW FG.   Ben finished 30 of 44 for 244 and 1 INT, and 1 TD.      B- 



Harris  – injured a hand on a meaningless, early 4 yard grab on 3d & 8.  Sat out the rest of the half.  Finally returned to duty, 5:30 3Q.   Stellar 1-handed grab in OT, and then a good RAC to gain 11.  Superb bounce-out in OT, gaining 14 yards down to the Balt 17 to set up the GW FG.    Had 11 rushes for 28, and 4 grabs for 27.    High kudos for him to fight off the pain of the injury and come back after the half.     B+  


McFarl – again was inactive.  Stoogelin and Canada have no use for his speed. 


Snell –   Good back to back runs of 5 and 9, 1Q.   Flagged for a false start on a big, early 4th & a foot.   What a jack-fuking idiot.    Decent 7 yard run, 3Q.   Had a stellar RAC, capped off with a superb stiff arm, but a masking flag on Haeg negated it.   Had 12 rushes for 22.     C+ 


Ballage – ran one token plunge for no gain.  


FB:    Watt saw a few sparse plays on O.       



Wash -   Sat out due to Covid.   Of course, even if he’d played, he would have been targeted, at most, twice.


Dionte -  got nicked up on his first grab, 1Q.  Allowed a high slant pass to slither thru his hands, late 2Q.    Dropped a short pass in OT that would have set up a 53 yard FG.   Had some nifty plays on RAC to move the ball in the 4Q and OT.     B  


Claypool –  targeted only once in the 1H, on a woeful, completely shitty pass by Ben.  .   Good run on end around, 14 yards, 3Q.     Big run on double reverse, 4Q, good for 17 yards.  Had 5 grabs for 37, and of course the big TD in the 4Q.      A 


GayRay McCloud – Had a drop, 3rd quarter.    Had a big grab, on the 4Q TD drive.   But a few plays later, on 1st & G -- Big RayRay McClod had a chance to make an easy SHIELD block on the Dionte 1st & goal grab, but instead, like a fool, JUMPED OUT of the way of the DB. What a moh-ron.  I realize you can’t do a crack back block…..but you can STAND in the way of a defender and make a shield block, rather than LEAPING out of the way.


Further evidence that RayRay McClod is not an NFL caliber receiver. A crappy drop on a fairly easy catch at the NFL level, in OT, which would have set up a chipshot 40 yard FG.   At least this clod redeemed himself a few plays later, grabbing a cake-easy pass to move the chains.      C+    



Pat FryBoy – slippery RACs in the 4Q to help gain extra yardage.   Stellar grab in OT.   Dude’s a baller.  Ought to be targeted 12 times a game, as he’s that good and that reliable.     A


Gentry – Big grab n’ RAC, 2Q.  Had 4 grabs for 39.     B


OL:  Overall, the line played half decently, giving Ben decent time on plays where Ben wasn’t firing a pass within 1 second of the snap.   The run blocking struggled, however.


JC Ass-an-hour got the start at C.   LeGlue started at OG.   Moore sat due to a foot.  Hague played LT. 


Leglue was flagged for a masking call, which negated a 24 yard grab by Snell, and also flagged for a false start on a 3d & 4 late in the game.   Okorafor was flagged for a false start on 1st & goal, late in the game.    Overall grade:  B- 



Heyward – The $65M Man had an adequate, although far from dominant, game. 


1Q, after the QB had faded back for 4 seconds, then rolled right, then eluded Wormley, and then finally Big Scam got the Dong sack.   Gee, he’s so vaunted.   Brainless personal foul penalty by Scam Heyward, on a play where he didn’t need to apply a lick to the QB’s HEAD.  Isn’t this moron supposed to be a vaunted “team leader” ??

Had ONE solo in the 1H, that on the Dong sack.


Got a lick on a RB for a solo, early 3Q.   Got mauled on the Murray run for 22, and on the very next play, got mauled again on a 27 yard run by Murray.  Batted a pass, late 4Q.   Scam finally tackled Murray, on a line plunge in OT for a 1 yard gain.   Finished with 6 solos, but on a day where the foe ran for 249 yards, I wouldn’t crow about the play of supposedly the greatest DE of all time.      C+  


Tuitt – another vaunted DE who again sat.  17 games this fat-ass sat out, all due to Fat Wallet Disease.


Wormley – Got a Dong sack, late 2Q, when the QB literally ran into his OWN man and fell to the turf.  Otherwise did little.    C


Henry Mon-don’t – Got easily sealed off on the Murray 10 yard run, early 3Q.   Got shoved around most of the game.    Complete pilo manure.     D  


Loudermilk – saw limited PT, because, after all, Mondeaux is so great and dominant.    Had 1 solo.  



Bush – Had 1 measley solo, entire 1H.    In the 3Q, just meandered, like a lost toddler, and took himself OUT of the hole on the long Murray TD run.   Worse, he VELCROED himself to the blocker, and never disengaged. 


Tooled by Andrews for a big 11 yard catch, late 4Q.  Was guilty of a blatant illegal contact in OT, but the refs missed the call.   Had a whopping TWO solos the entire game.    D-  


Watt – got a sack, late 2Q, when the RT literally WHIFFED with his hands, allowing Sitter to come in UNTOUCHED for the Dong Sack.   Batted a pass, next play.   Had a whopping 3 solos and 1 A in a fairly average performance.    C 


Schobert – chipped in on the late QB keeper on 3d & 2, forcing the FG.  Had 4 solos in a lukewarm effort.    C 


Highsmith – got completely bamboozled by a QB keeper, late 1H.    Looked like a complete jackass.   Had only 3 solos, and applied next to nothing in terms of QB pressure.      C+  


Spillane – wandered laterally way too far on the Murray long TD run.  A very shoddy, sorry play.  Had 4 solos and did very, very little.     C+ 


Marc Allen – didn’t do much.  Had good coverage on the late-minute rainbow lob to Andrews.  


Tuscka – pretty much did nothing.  




Haden – played here and there.    Wasn’t abused deep.    


Cam Sutton -  Stellar read and lick delivered to Freeman, late 2Q, to stop the ballcarrier and also force a TO.   Good read and INT in his EZ, early 4Q.   Solid game.    A-


Norwood – sparse PT.   


Edmunds – got abused by Andrews for a 13 yard grab, 1Q.  Got a Dong INT soon thereafter, on a hideous, lollipop OVERTHROW that Edmunds basically fair caught, and of course, DROPPED, but the Raven stupidly touched him.      Came awfully close to DPI on a 3d down pass, 2Q.  Busted up a pass to Andrews, late 4Q.  Failed miserably to make an easy TACKLE, IN BOUNDS, on Andrews, which allowed the TE to get OOB.    C- 


Minkah -  punched the ball out of Brown’s hands on the last minute sideline pass.  Heckuva play.   Minkah did very, very little otherwise.    B- 


Pierre – Thankfully sat.  


Akhello ‘Spoon – stellar bust-up of a pass in OT.   Wasn’t abused or tooled, which is good.      B 


Maulette- early 3d & 5, and gets thoroughly abused for a 20 yard gainer.  Got abused by Andrews, 2Q, good for 28 yards.    C 


Spec teams:  

Harvin– returned to the lineup after missing 2 games, and of course, after getting vastly out-booted by Corliss Waitman.   Punted twice early, NEITHER of which were coffin-corner types punts. The first, 36 yards. The 2nd, 34 yards. He’s …..just……such….a dominant punter !     Harvin boomed a 26 yard punt in the 2Q, FC at the 16. Complete BARF. That ball should EASILY be punted to the 8 or so. At the NFL level, this was a dog-manure punt.


33 yard punt by Presley “Ray Guy” Harvin….gave Balt the ball at the PIT 40, late in the half.   In the 4Q, boomed a 36 yard punt, FC at the 14, which qualifies as yet another shoit punt.    A half decent punt lands at the 8, not the 14.     Late in game, last minute, and Harvin booms a 38 yard punt that was FC at the 18, which is puke. 


Good thing Corlis Waitman was deactivated today….!    Brilliant !       Grade:   D-  


Boswell – 3 for 3 on FGs.   Clutch GW FG.      A


RayRay – had a couple decent returns.  


Marc Allen was flagged for an illegal block on a punt return, ruining good FP.  


OC:  Matt Canada oversaw a shabby, grab-assed offense that didn’t do jack shoit the entire 1H,  which was complete vomit and sewage.   Pressley Barfvin punted 5 times, amid a bucket of slop and shit by this offense. 


Pass Target summary, end of 1H:


Dionte: 3

Chase Carpool: 1

FryBoy: 2

Gentry: 4

RayRay MCClod: 4


Matt clever and brilliant !!   Let’s pump dozens of passes at Gentry and McClod, and ignore Carpool.   Brilliant !! 


1st down after Fryboy grab in OT – quick pass to Gentry, TWO yards.    2nd & 8, and Canda orders a plunge for no gain.  Brilliant !!    Only by the grace of God did the offense move the chains.  


The offense barely got by, with a meager 13 points in regulation.    It was a putrid display of offense in this day of 2022.       D-   



Keith Assler thankfully missed the game due to Covid.   Mike Assling took over as the DC, and had the luxury of facing a greenhorned backup QB.  It mattered not, as Asslin was entirely unable to bottle or contain the Balt rushing attack in the 2H.   They got gashed repeatedly on the ground for huge chunks of yards.   Balt gained 249 yards on the ground, the 4th foe who has rushed over 200 yards over the 31st worst defense in the NFL. 


Late in regulation, had Hollywood Brown not dropped the deep sideline pass, Tucker is soon lining up for the GW FG.       D 


HC:  Mike Asslin will, of course, be all proud at beating an inept, injury-ravaged foe that was starting a backup QB.     


I despised the pregame decision to “Start” Pressley Barfvin and deactivate Corliss Waitman.   In a game was was dominated by punting and field position, Balt had a HUGE advantage, all because Mike Dumblin was too thick-headed to realize that Waitman had clearly out-punted Barfvin.   


I fuking despised the decision to punt on the 4th and TWO INCHES late in regulation.   This wasn’t 4th and “one yard”.   It was 4th and 2 inches, in a MUST WIN game to make the playoffs.   It was a chickenshot decision by a big-talking, chickenshot head coach.


Sure enough, you’ll hear Asslin, and his merry band of supporters, claim that Asslin had to be afraid of kicker Justin Tucker, should the 4th and TWO INCH play come up short.   So instead, Tomlin – –


a. orders the WORST punter in the NFL to punt, and Harvin booms yet another weakling punt, a 38 yarder that is FC at the 18.


b. GIVES the ball back to Balt, the same offense that had gashed Tomlin’s mighty defense the entire 1st Half, and the same offense that had over 200 yards rushing at that point.


c. GIVES Tucker the chance for a FG, with a semi-long sideline completion to Hollywood Brown, who DROPPED the pass (Minkah helped dislodge it a bit). Had Brown hung on, Tucker is soon lining up for the GW FG.


In THAT situation, that late in the game, in a MUST WIN game, with the 31st worst defense in the NFL, ya don’t punt. Ya have 1 of the biggest, strongest QBs in the NFL, and ya order the QB Sneak to get the TWO INCHES for the first down.


They didn’t need a YARD; they merely needed TWO INCHES.   And Big Mike Stoogelin lived in his fears with an entirely chickenshoit decision. 


Jax did what they needed to do, but Asslin and his crew laid a fairly stinking, rotten egg today, barely eking out a thin win over a decrepit foe.      D-  


Synopsis:  As always, it is joyous to beat the hated Ratbirds.   However, this probably is a pyrrhic victory.   The win costs the team at least 4 slots in the draft.   Sure, they make the playoffs, only to serve as a whipping boy for the KC Chefs next week.    Perhaps the Chefs will take the Stillers extremely lightly, since the Chefs rolled all over PIT just a few weeks ago in a blowout win that was over by the midway point of the 3rd quarter.  That’s the only chance of an upset next week.  Otherwise, it looks like just another playoff assbeating under the esteemed leadership of Michael Tomlin.  



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