Browns 48, Stillers 37..... Jan 10, 2021 …………Wild Card Game
Stillers - Browns Postgame Analysis and Grades
The Stillers hosted the Covid ravaged, injury depleted, head coach-LESS Browns, and got run out of the gym by the end of the 1Q, with the score 28-0. The Stillers clawed back a bit in the 2H, but every time the Stillers closed it to a reasonable deficit, the vaunted defense quickly allowed a Clev score.
Due to the late nite nature of this game, I’ll give the same effort in compiling this report as this team did.
QB: Ben, simply put, played like ass.
Failed to cover up loose ball after bad snap. Fuk, the ball was right fuking there to simply JUMP ON, but Gentle Ben was scared to get hit,
Next series, hideous lollipop over Snell’s head on sreen pass, INT.
Missed a WIDE open Schuster on a deep crosser, late 1Q. On the very next play, threw high on a similar crosser, and after the ball was tipped by the WR (Dionte), it was INT’d.
For the 49th time this season, Ben had a pass batted, and this one resulted in an INT.
4th Qtr, Ben threw his fourth pick of the game.
I’d daresay Shitlesberger has played his final game. F
Conner – treated the game-opening loose ball like a live hand-grenade, which allowed Clev, despite FAR WORSE of an angle, to recover the ball for a TD. Good power run to covert the 4th & 1, late 2Q, and then scored a 1-yard TD the next play. Played ok, but that opening play said it all. C-
Samuels – no PT on offense.
Snell – did little.
McFarland – did not dress.
FB: Watt actually carried the ball, twice no less. He converted an early 3d & 1, and then was given another 3rd down stab, but Big Maukice Pouncey got his ass SHOVED BACKWARDS about 5 feet, which completely blew the whole play to hell.
JuJu – snared TD pass on 4th down, late 3Q. One of the few players to show up and perform, with 13 grabs for 157 in what might be his final game as a Stiller. A
Wash - had 5 grabs for 72.
Dionte – probably should have hauled in the high crosser that glanced off his hands for the 2d INT. Had 11 grabs for 117. B
Claypool – Had only 5 grabs, but did have 2 TDs. Probably should have been used more early on.
RayRay – no work on O.
McDonald – allowed an accurate pass to go right thru his hands in the EZ, late 3Q.
Ebron – had a drop in 1Q, and another early in the 2Q. Hauled in a TD pass, mid 3Q. Had 7 grabs. B-
OL: Pouncey led off the game with a SG snap about 3 feet over Ben’s head, which enabled Clev to score the ultra early TD. Big Maurkice Pouncey --- gets JACKED UP like a flat tire on that 3d & 1, blowing the whole play to hell. That's now TWO major fuk-ups by THE most over-rated O-lineman in the entire NFL. Then, on a massively critical 4th & 1 late in the 1H, Asshole Pouncey snaps the ball LOW, about 2 inches off the ground, which nearly aborted the entire play. But hey, it’s a good thing this over-rated fatass was given the day off last Sunday….! F
Feiler returned to the lineup. Flagged for a hold, late 1Q. Villa got tooled and scorched several times, and not just by Garrett. Okorafor got shoved around a bit. David DeAsstro gave another milk-toast performance.
Heyward – Good thing Scam Heyward sat & rested last week. At the half, the $65M Man had.......ZERO tackles of any sort. Finally got a solo, 3Q. Batted a pass, early 4Q. Finished the game with ONE fuking solo while facing a DECIMATED off line. F
Tuitt – The $60M Man didn’t do shit in the 1H, though he did get 2 meaningless slop stops. Finished the game with 4 weak-assed solos, doing NOTHING in the process. D-
Alu – helped, in a negative, way, by doing nothing in the 1H to stop the Clev rushing attack. D
Mondeaux – did nothing.
Buggs – did not dress.
Vinnie – failed to read and then disengage from the blocker on the Chubb screen pass that went to the house, early 4Q. Did little to stop Chubb and Hunt from gashing this D in the 1H. D
Spillane – stupidly met Hunt way up HIGH, and got plowed into the EZ for an early TD. Like Vinnie, didn’t do shit to stop the Clev ground game. C
Williamson – thankfully played little.
Watt – batted a pass, 3Q. Didn’t impact anywhere near enough. B-
Odeniyi – played a few snaps. Did little.
Highmith – got injured, 2Q, and did not return.
Marsh – Assius Marsh came in for an injured Highsmith, 2Q. Got pancaked and steamrolled. Did nothing all at’all. Pilo garbage. C
Haden – sat out due to Covid.
Nelson – played marginally ok. C+
Hilton – Got tooled by Landry on the early TD. Failed to make the tackle on Chubb on the 4Q screen pass, which was taken to the house. Had only 2 tackles, which is low for him. C+
Edmunds - clumsily flailed at Landry, despite a GOOD angle, on the early TD. Got juked out of his jock by Chubb in the 2Q. Whiffed on a bat-away attempt of a 3rd & goal pass into the EZ, but the TE dropped the pass. This guy sucks, and should be supplanted quickly. C-
Minkah - did little all game long. C
Sutton – started in place of Haden. Good bustup of a pass on 3d & 8, 3Q. B-
Pierre – busted up a deep lob, 2Q.
Berry– punted 3 times. Boomed a punt into the EZ, early 4Q, for a TB, where a good punt pinning Cleve inside its 5 would have been highly desired. C
Boswell – nailed a 49-yard FG to close out the 1H.
RayRay – didn’t do much on returns.
KO coverage – for whatever reason the KO coverage sucked ass royally the past 5-6 weeks, and did so tonite.
OC: Randy Sphincter again oversaw the chicksnshit offense that has dragged down the team the past 6 weeks.
Vomit-laden 2-point conversion try, mid 3Q. The playcall appeared to a short slant -- surprise !! – which Clev easily expected and covered.
Granted, the turnovers forced his hand to go pass-happy, but there didn’t seem to be much of a gameplan in the first place. C
Keith Assler had the luxury of facing a team without its head coach and offensive signal caller, due to Covid, as well as its starting RG. Sure as shit, of course, Assler struggled like a little faggot-assed bitch the ENTIRE game, continually getting gashed both on the ground and in the air.
Sure, there there the grisly Ben INTs in the 1H. But fuk almighty, MAKE A STOP. Force a FG. Or in some cases, force a fuking punt. But not Assler……he folded like a cheap lawn chair, and got bent over continually in this game.
The Stillers scored a TD to make it a 13 point game in the 4Q, but sure as shit, Keith Assler allowed Clev to march, AND MARCH, and march, for a crushing TD, chewing up gobs of clock in the process.
At one point in the 2H, Keith Assler, the fuking genius that he is…….had Robert Spillane in SOLO coverage on……Jarvis Landry! Fuking brilliant! F
HC: Mike Asslin smugly went into this game, assuming his mighty squad could merely show up, check the block, and head to Buff for the divisional round.
Quicker than shit, it was 28-0 at end of 1Q. Steelers were now outscored 49-0 in the first quarter and 3 minutes of their last two playoff games.
After Schuster scored to make it a 13-point game, Stoogelin ordered a PAT to make it a 12-point game. At that point, late in the 3Q, you might as well go for 2 to make it a 1 TD, 1 FG game.
Then, on the 1st play of the 4Q, Asslin ordered a punt, on 4th & 1 at the PIT 46. A punt! Sure as shit, Cleve then marched 80 yards for the nail-in-coffin TD score. Mike Asslin, the punter….! Let’s treat this a regular season game, and fuking punt !!
This goes beyond a mere loss. This is a combination of shoddy preparation, poor focus, and a softee approach with no fire or gusto, and then getting blown out and embarrassed by a ravaged opponent. Simply put, Mike Asslin completely shit the bed. This outrageous slopfest very much warrants the firing of the head dunce, er, head coach. Mike Tomlin completely shat the bed tonite. For this disgraceful embarrassment, Tomlin fully deserves to be shat upon by fans and media alike. One team didn’t practice all week….which one was it?? F
Synopsis: A shit loss to a decimated, ravaged foe that had been dealt an awful hand due to Covid and injury. The Steelers just lost a playoff game at home to a team that didn’t have its head coach or offensive line coach, left guard, top cornerback, and didn’t practice until Friday because of Covid issues. And it wasn’t even close. This surely ranks up there with the loss to Timmy Tebow, and the Jan 1995 loss to San Diego, in the annals of gruesome, grisly Stiller playoff losses. Mike Asslin oversaw this hideous swoon, from an 11-0 record to losing 4 of the final 5 games, and then getting assraped in a home playoff game. It’ll be a cold, long offseason, with massive changes due to age, massive sal cap problems, and free agency.
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