Bolts 23, Stillers 13���. Oct. 8, 2006 ����Game
#4��
Stillers-Chargers Postgame
Analysis and Grades
The
Stillers traveled to the West Coast after their bye week off, hoping to even
their record and climb back into the AFC North race.� The game started off well enough, with the Stillers scoring first
and then grabbing a 10-0 lead.�� Taking
a 13-7 lead into halftime, the veteran Stillers looked to be in the driver's
seat.� Instead, the 2H was a colossal
collapse on both sides of the ball, and the result was a 23-13 assbeating that
leaves the Stillers at 1-3 and gasping for their very life.�
Grades:
QB:�
Benji started off all right, getting the offense in gear on the 3rd
series by rifling a curl to Nate for a key 1D.�
Later in the half, he hit Holmes with a similarly gunned pass for 13
yards on 3d & 8.� But the wheels
soon came off.� Late in the 1H, Roth
pumped and tried to re-cock, but the ball slipped out of his hand in a Tomczac
manner for a foolish incompletion.� It's
hard to fault him for the first of the 2 INTs.�
On the flea flicker, he threw the pass that was called, and Marvel
"I really blew chunks tonight" Smith allowed pressure that forced Ben
to rush his throw.� On the 4Q INT,
Phillips came in untouched on 2D and hit Benji as he threw, resulting in a
wounded quail that was easily picked off.�
Benji saw Phillips, and should have either quickly thrown this pass
away, or, perhaps better yet, MOVED his FEET the way he used to and scooted
away from pressure.� Worst case, BenRoth
takes the sack and the Stillers take a stab on 3rd & about 11.� Add in not one, but two occasions where Roth
fumbled the ball but was fortunately & correctly ruled "in the
grasp", and this was simply poor decision making by a man in his 3rd
season as a starter.� The major flaw right
now with Benji, is that unlike 2004 and 2005, the man ain't making
"something out of nothing".�
Even in the Sup Bowl, on 3rd & 20-something, Ben eluded pressure,
and made something out of nothing with the long throwback for big yardage and a
huge 1D.� Right now, if the blocking
breaks down or the initial receiver is smothered, Roth ain't making jack shit
except piss-ant lil' valve dumps to Haynes in the flat.� And when's the last time he scrambled for
big yardage?�� Seems like it was years
ago.� Overall, it seems like he's lost a
bit of the edge and the gunslinger mentality that made him what he was.� I reckon that nearly losing one's life in a
lost battle with a car windshield will do that to most people, and now the
Stillers are left with a major question mark amidst these grim early-season
struggles and failures.� C-.�
RB:�
Parker rushed 14 times for 57 yards, which ain't a shabby 4.1 YPC
against a very rugged, stingy front 7.�
Sadly, though, he carried the pig just 4 times in the 2H, thanks to a pitiful
Stiller defense that got pushed up and down the field.� Parker did have a sterling 9-yard TD run,
bouncing it wide and adroitly following Ward's block for the TD.� Park also busted a tackle on a nice 15-yard
run in the 1Q, and had a nice read n' cut on an 11-yard run in the 4Q.� Davenport saw his 1st action as a Stiller
and acquitted himself quite well in limited action.� He caught a quick-screen and rumbled 32-yards late in the
2Q.� He ran 2 plunges for 0 yards.� Haynes ran a SG draw for 13 yards in the 4Q.� He snagged 3 passes for a whopping 7 yards,
including a screen on 3rd & 17 that the entire city of San Diego was
waiting for, resulting in a pummeling by no less than 5 Charger defenders for a
4-yard loss.� Staley was
deactivated.� B.�
FB: Kreider helped open some holes for
Parker during the productive 1st half, but had little involvement in the 2H as
SD dominated TOP.� Kreider also had a
good block on the WR screen by Ward that netted 9 yards in the 1H.� B.
WR:�
Ward allowed a short pass to clang off his chest on the 2d series, but
after that, the WR corps buckled down and produced.� Wards led with 4 grabs for 49 yards, much of it gained on
RAC.� Ward also bullied Cromartie on the
Parker TD run.� Nate had 3 grabs for 44
yards, including a clutch one on 3D that netted 22.� Holmes and Wilson each had 2 grabs.�� B.�
TE:�
Miller had 2 grabs in the 1H and was never heard from again.� He had a nice seal block on Merriman to
spring Parker on the TD run.�� A.�
OL: An entirely shabby, sub-par evening
by this crew.� Leading the way in the
stink category was center Jeff Hartings, whom I noted in my pre-game as a key
matchup and "Hartings' sternest test to date".� Hartings got ravaged and was eaten alive the
entire evening.� Williams stood him up
on every occasion and then bullied and manhandled Hartings as though he were a
toddler.� This was a shit-laden,
weak-assed effort by Hartings.� Sadly,
he wasn't alone.� Smith and Starks both
stunk.� Smith had a false start in the
1Q.� He was abused by Merriman in the 2Q,
resulting in a sack.� As noted above,
the blundering oaf allowed pressure on the flea flicker that forced Ben to rush
the pass.�
MaxiPad Starks had 2 penalties (1 hold, on a screen pass of
all things, and 1 false start).� He was
beaten by a DB on a blitz in the 1Q, resulting in a hit on Ben that forced an
inc. pass.� Faneca was weak and feeble
on a Parker run in the 1Q, getting shrugged and shed aside by Williams as easy
as pie.� Late in the 3Q, Fan was bulled
and steamrolled by Williams for a sack.�
Not to be left out in the cold, KenDoll Simmons was whipped with the
greatest of ease by Luis Castillo late in the game, resulting in a bone jarring
sack of Ben Roth.� All in all, a really
slovenly effort on national TV.� C-.
DL:�
Keisel and Smith were very active and disruptive in stopping the
run.� Hampton was solid as well, and
showed great hustle by running downfield to topple Tomlinson at the end of a
19-yard screen pass.� B.�
LB:�
Tomlinson was held to 2.8 YPC, but Burner Turner burned the defense for
5.1 yards a crack.� The LB corps, which
is supposed to by the key cog for big plays, once again made none.� Leading the way was OLB Clark Haggans, who
had a solid overall game and applied some pressure to go along with
run-stuffing.� He beat Zo Neal -- the
best FB in the NFL -- and then hit Rivers as he threw, forcing an inc pass in
the 2Q.� Farrior and Foote helped to
limit LT, although Farrior was slow and clumsy to read Rivers' scramble on the
late 3d & 9 that gained 15 yards.�
In the 4Q, Foote timed his blitz nicely by guessing the snap count, and
dropped Rivers for a rare 3D stop by the Stiller defense.��
����������� Big Joey Porter, the supposed
"Most Feared Man in the NFL", had yet another pedestrian game.� For once, he did show up on the stat sheet,
but this was comprised almost exclusively of cheese and slop.� Case in point -- on a key 3d & 1 late in
the game, Porter meekly stood and titty-jousted with the TE, and then was
shoved backwards.� As he fell, he fell
into the RB, Turner, after a 3-yard gain, thus gaining a
"solo tackle" on the play.�
Even worse was the play early in the 3Q, where Porter was stymied and
literally turned and SAT on the ground, while Tuner slashed around end for a
nice 12-yard gain.�� He got stiff-armed
into the dirt by Tomlinson after a reception, but still got credit for a
"solo tackle".� Facing a
rookie left tackle, it might have appeared that Big Joey might finally dominate
and provide some impact.� Instead, it
was just as I wrote in my pre-game analysis:�
"OLB Joey Porter vs. LT Marcus McNeill.�� Big Joey hasn't done jack shit this season,
at all.� Watching him getting swallowed
up by McNeill will be sickening & disheartening."� That it was, and it's all bark but no bite from the
biggest bullshitter and windbag in the NFL, Big Joey Porter.��� The main 3 LBs:� C.�� Big Joey:� D-.
DB:�
The secondary got ravaged & picked apart like a bowl of candy around
a pack of hungry schoolchildren.� Softee
coverage after softee coverage allowed easy pitch n' catch plays by the Lollipopping
Lobber, Phillip Rivers, and his average corps of receivers.�
���� Ryan Clark had one of the few good plays,
wresting the ball from Parker for a 1Q INT.�
He also delivered a couple of harsh hits.� But, he flailed poorly on the Tomlinson screen play that gained
19, and he hit his own man (McFadden) on the deep flag to Parker.�
���� Troy Pola flailed about and made about as
much contact as Pirates backup catcher Humberto Cota. He flailed & whiffed
on the 1st play of the game, on a screen to LT.� He did topple LT on the next play, but did little else in the
remaining 57 minutes of the game.�� Pola
actually whiffed on McCardell -- the oldest starting WR in the NFL -- in the
3Q, allowing 4 yards of extra RAC.� Pola
and Ike were both rumbled over by Turner on the 23-yard run late in the
4Q.�
���� Townsend had a rather miserable evening,
giving up 2 TDs.� He was a bit clumsy
and timed his jump poorly on the ally oop TD to Floyd.� To be fair, this was a well thrown lob and
Floyd made a fine play, but Townsend wasn't equal to the task.� He was tentative and clumsy on the TD pass
to Gates, unsure of which side to take on Gates and, in the end, doing nothing
but meekly flailing while Gates grabbed the pass and easily spun for the short
RAC and the TD.� Of course, having a
midget CB cover the best TE in the NFL isn't exactly a recipe for success.� Townsend was also beaten on a deep route by
McCardell in the 2Q, when the wily veteran WR eased up just a bit, and then
Town eased off while Keenan turned back on whatever limited speed he still has
while Town was lulled to sleep.�
Luckily, McCardell dropped the perfectly thrown pass.�
���� McFadden got tooled by giving up gobs of
cushion in coverage.� This man has not
taken the "next step" since a solid rookie season.�
��� �Taylor, too, gave away loads of cushion and acreage.� He did have a good, albeit lucky, bat-away
on an underthrown lob to Floyd in the EZ in the 3Q.�� He was surely beaten, but the pass was weakly underthrown.� Ike was also flagged for an illegal contact that
was declined.
Overall,
facing a greenhorn QB making his 4th ever NFL start, with a relatively average
corps of receivers, you have to expect much, much more from the secondary than
the rag-tag horseshit we saw tonite.��
Instead, this crew made the Chargers look like the days of Fouts,
Jefferson, and Joiner.� Very, very
disappointing.� D+.�
Spec
teams:� Another subpar game from the STs.� Reed was one of the very few bright spots,
nailing 2 FGs.� Reid finally had his
first NFL touch, and was impressive with an 11-yard punt return, which is, oh,
about 9 more yards than Colclough gained on all of his PRs combined.� He also had one KO return.� Reid got nicked up, however, and did not
return.� Morey had a solo on 4th quarter
punt coverage.� Tonio Smith had a good
trip-up in KO coverage in the 1Q.�
����� Then there's the ugly.� On the 2nd possession, the Stillers faced a
4th & 6 at the SD 40.� They elected,
if you can believe this, to line up in this juvenilish "swinging
gate" formation, with Pis Gardocki split out wide and the
ever-so-dangerous speedster Ryan Clark lined up in the shotgun.� Clark took the snap and ran left, and
presumably the entire defense of SD was supposed to trai lhim in hot pursuit
because of his well known speed, quickness, and dangerous moves.� He handed to McFadden on the reverse, and he
was easily strung out and dumped for a 2-yard loss.� This has to be one of the ugliest, and most asinine, "fake"
punts ever devised.� It wouldn't have
fooled a 6th grade football team in its first practice, much less an NFL
squad.� Later in the 1Q, Gardocki boomed
a punt that hit at the 4 and quickly bounced into the EZ.� On the 2H opening KO, Burner Turner had an
acre of room -- thanks in large part to a whiff by Sean "God of Special
Teams" Morey -- and rumbled 51 yards to set up the Chargers for their
shorty FG drive.� Morey also committed a
hold on a good KO return by Savenport.� Arnie
Harrison was flagged for a hold on a 4Q KOR.��
In all, just another shitladen evening by the spec teams, which is
supposed to be a Cowhard forte'.�
D.�
OC:�
The game started off well enough, with a decent 1H.� The quick slip screen to Davenport late in
the 1Q was a beauty.� It was refreshing
for 2 reasons:
����������� a.�
It was quick.� It didn't
take 9 and a half seconds to develop, where the entire defense gets a free,
easy read on the play.��
����������� b.� It happened on 2d down, not on 3rd and 12, which is where Cheezenhunt loves to use it and where the entire free world is sitting and waiting for it.
Of course, Cheezen couldn't resist the 3rd & long screen pass for an entire game.� Late in the 3Q, on 3rd & 17, he called for a screen to Haynes, who got literally pummeled by no less than 5 hungry Charger defenders.� I'm sure Haynesie went to the s-line after that play and begged Cheezenhunt to not call that play again on 3rd & long.�
That
sequence of downs, by the way, was absolutely sickening.� Ward had just made a strong play to gain 24
yards, setting up the Stillers at their own 47.� This was a chance to strike back after SD took its first
lead.� Instead, Roth was sacked on 1st
down for a 4 yard loss.� On 2D, another
sack, and on 3d & 17, the gay-assed screen to Haynes that lost 4 more.� 3 plays, 11 yards lost, and a punt.������
Then
there's the use of Parker and Dav in the 2H.�
Both enjoyed a fine 1H, and then after halftime, they were literally
written OUT of the offense.�� Parker
touched the ball all of 4 times in the 2H despite the score obviously being
close until the final FG, and Dav didn't touch the ball at all after halftime.�����
The abject
refusal to get Miller more touches, especially when the passing offense is
struggling, is absolutely bizarre.��
Ignoring Miller for the entire 2H makes no sense whatsoever.�� Overall, when you look at the total neglect
of Parker, Dav, and Miller in the 2H, after each had a strong 1H, you have to
wonder exactly what went through Cheezenhunt's skull during halftime?�� "Hey Laird�..we'll do a version of the
Costanza/Seinfeld 'opposite game'�..whatever worked well, we'll shitcan and do
the exact opposite in the 2H.� It'll
really fool that Charger defense�."���
C-.�
DC:�
This was one of the worst 2d halves of football by a Stiller defense in
at the last decade, if not longer.�
Actually, it all unraveled on the Charger's final drive of the 1H (excluding
their kneeldown at the very end of the half).�
Rivers casually marched 80 yards on 13 plays, aided by THREE third down
conversions (3d & 5; 3d & 11, and 3d & 2 for the TD) and a 2d &
13 conversion as well.�� In the 2H, SD
had the ball 4 times (again, excluding the kneel down at the end of the game)
and those drives resulted ion a FG, TD, FG, and FG.� Not one fucking stop in 5 consecutive drives !!�� Only LeBeau could make greenhorn Rivers, in
his 4th NFL start, and his average corps of WRs, look like Dan Fucking Fouts
and Jefferson/Joiner of the early 80's.�
The coverage was soft and cheesy, allowing the Lollipopping Lobber, Phil
Streams, to complete lob after lob on easy curls and outs to wide open
WRs.� And the 3D defense absolutely
sucked donkey balls.� On the 91-yard TD
march that basically sealed the game, SD converted two 3d &
7s.�
The pass rush is so feeble, predictable, and soft that Rivers was unfettered on nearly every play.� On his own 22 yard line, Dick's got lil' DeShea covering Gates?� WTF ??�� Where were the 2 Gods of LB Coverage, Farrior and Porter?��� I fretted about this lackluster defense in my pregame, but I really thought this D, coming off a bye week, could make Rivers look like a trembling toddler.� Instead, the defense got carved up like a Halloween pumpkin.�� F.
HC:� It's
becoming rather apparent that Billy Cowher spent the entire offseason basking
in the sun of the Sup Bowl win, and is now content to wallow around in
mediocrity and flaccidness.� Where,
praytell, did Cowhard, a supposed spec teams guru, come up with this wacko
swinging-gate "fake" punt?�
Out of what body orifice did Cowhard produce this wretched pile o' bile
?� Because it wasn't a "fake
punt" at all, it had zero element of surprise, and it put the ball into
the hands of the slowest man on the field !��
What a dumbass !!��� At halftime,
SD made adjustments.� Cowhard,
meanwhile, sat on his ass and did nothing.�
After the game, all Cowhard could do was hug and kiss his father, Marty
Shittenheimer, in a fit of contentment and glee.� Far too many fans have been hornswoggled by Billy Cowher and his
supposed coaching prowess and genius.�
The real truth is, once again, emerging about Billy Cowher.�� F.�
���� 
Synopsis:�
Supposedly "backed up against the wall", this team came out
after halftime and basically mailed it in, in shameful, embarrassing
fashion.� Only 2 men, Clark and Haggans,
are hitting with any kind of ferocity and regularity.� The offensive line stood around and got manhandled.� The coaching staff is playing so predictable
and vanilla and opposing teams are simply watching film and then ruthlessly
taking whatever they want.� The season
is not yet over, however.� It's a long
season and other division and conference teams will stumble at times.� However, doing the exact same things as this
team has done since week 1 ain't gonna right this sinking ship.� Drastic changes must be made in terms of
scheme, personnel, and attitude.� Softee
vanilla ain't working, and until it's shitcanned and replaced with hell-bent
alacrity, this team will continue to founder.�
(Still Mill
and Stillers.com -- when it comes to the analysis of the Pittsburgh Stillers,
no one else comes close�.)