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Sup Bowl 50 Preview

February 06, 2016 by Still Mill


Sup Bowl 50 Preview

 

For whatever reason, this lopsided matchup has put most of the country and betting public into some bizarre notion that this will be some nip-n-tuck, nailbiter of a game.   It’s a folly.   Here’s why --

 

Donco Defense:

 

There’s been all kinds of praise and adulation for this Donco defense, as though they are the 2nd coming of the ’85 Bears and the Seahags from 2 years ago.    Unbelievably, you have people pointing out their past 2 playoff games, as though this proves anything.   Let’s see -- they  held off an injury ravaged Steeler offense, missing the best WR in pro football and using a 3d string RB.   Then they held off an injury ravaged NE offense, which had ZERO running game and an O-line so decrepit and awful that Cody Wallace looks like a 1st ballot Hall of Famer compared to those 5 walking cardboard cut-outs.   Sure, the Doncos pressured Tom Lady…..much because the O linemen NE employed for that game were no more useful than if Belichick had simply hauled 5 drunken fans out of the bleachers that day and inserted them as the O-line. 

 

Carolina has a stout, highly competent O-line.  Beyond that, they have NFL caliber RBs, something the Doncos have yet to see this postseason.   And, of course, there’s Cam Newton -- who will be the best player on the gridiron in this game -- who has shown he can pass from the pocket; he can get the ball downfield; and of course he can escape pressure about 19 times better than Tom Lady or the hobbled Ben. 

 

Donco Offense:

 

Here you have an over the hill, spaghetti-armed QB, who has ZERO mobility, yet the American public is buying this bullshit fantasy that Peyton Woman-ing is going to ride in on his white horse and throw for 400 yards.   Much of this, I believe, is because the idiotic attempt to correlate what John Smelway did in 1998 to what Womaning is trying to do tomorrow.   It’s idiotic for any number of reasons.   Elway was fairly healthy at that point in time and had all his tools, unlike Womaning.   Elway had a stud RB in T. Davis, unlike Womaning.  Lastly, Elway got to face a hardly dominant GB team with a mediocre defense for his 1st SB win, and then a completely shoddy, barf-laden Falcon team for his 2nd.   (Note:  how awful was the NFC that year, when Atlanta made the Sup Bowl…??)

 

There’s been all kinds of fawning about how great Womaning has played in this playoffs.  Let’s see -- he got to face the weak-assed, flimsy defense of the Stillers, and then followed that by facing a weak-assed, flimsy defense of NE.    Neither of these defenses is anywhere close to menacing, ball-hawking, or dominant.    The big WR threat, D. Thomas, hasn’t done jack in the playoffs since tooling Dick and Stoogelin in 2012, and Manny Sanders always plays small when the stakes are high.  

 

Now, finally, Womaning has to play a real defense.  A ball-hawking, dominant defense, which is quite stout against the run and has athletic LBs who make tons of plays.   The Donco ground game is going to find some tough sledding, and Womaning’s wobbly quails aren’t going to work against this defense.  It’s entirely likely that Womaning won’t finish this game after taking a mauling.     

 

What really puzzles me, through all of this 13-day hype, is the American public suddenly treating Womaning as though he’s the cool-handed, rabidly successful, playoff equal of a combined Stabler, Staubach, and Bradshaw all rolled into one.   Wake up, people!   The Big Forehead has been the Big Loser in his playoff career…continually choking, gagging, and sucking like a faggotty porn star.    He’s the modern day version of Big Jerome Bettis -- aka The Bust -- who was all hype, and oh-so little playoff production.   Does no one remember what this gonad swallower did 2 years ago in the Sup Bowl versus Seattle???     Womaning’s lone SB win was against a vastly mediocre Bears team, led by…....wait…..…Rex Grossman…!    But, suddenly, the spaghetti-armed, stone-footed choker is the 2nd coming of an in-his-prime Roger Staubach.  Go figure.  

 

Unless Carolina shows up cocky and overconfident, this is going to be a brutal ass-beating.    It’s hard to fathom the Panthers being over-confident and lax, since they have a real coach, Coach Rivera, unlike some simpletonistic jackass like Coach Michael Stoogelin. 

 

Hide the women and children…..this’ll be an ass-whipping.   Stunned that this was a 6-point spread, and then  more stunned that it shrunk, rather than ballooned, to 5-1/2.  

 

 

(Still Mill and Stillers.com -- when it comes to the analysis of the Pittsburgh Stillers, no one else comes close….)

Follow Mill on Twitter, at StillMill1

 

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