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Stillers-RatBirds Postgame Analysis and Grades

January 16, 2011 by Still Mill

Stillers 31, RatBirds 24 ��� Jan. 15, 2010
Stillers 31, RatBirds 24���. Jan. 15, 20111 ����Div. Playoffs


Stillers-RatBirds Postgame Analysis and Grades


The Stillers stunk up the joint on both sides of the ball in the 1st half, and with a Suisham missed FG to add moldy mayo to a shit sandwich, they trudged to the locker room down 21-7 at halftime.��� 2 fumbles, shoddy special teams play, and 68 yards of penalties low-lighted a grisly, pitiful 1st half. To their credit, the Stillers stormed back in the 3Q, and ransacked the PoeBirds.�� The pesky Woodpeckers tied it up, but Ben hit Brown downtown on 3d & 19 to set up the winning TD.��� The Stillers prevailed over the hated Rats, 31-24 !!!!




QB:Pumper Roethlisberger had a shit-laden 1H, punctuated by an assaholic play deep in his own territory, in which he pumped twice and clutched the ball forever, before being stripped of the ball by Suggs.�� With everyone on the field assuming it was an inc. pass, Balt recovered and ran it in for a TD.�� The fault on the play lies with Pumper Ben, who assaholicly pumped like a complete asspump.���


��� Later in the 2Q, Ben seemed to be running a hurry-up offense, and rushed to the LOS on a 3d & 6....only to diddle-fuk around calling plays in Swahili, and then had to waste a timeout because the playclock had run down.�� Very, very stupid��


���� Ben rebounded in the 2H, with a perfect TD strike to Ward and an easy TD lob to Miller.�� He also had a perfect deep strike to Brown on 3d & 19 to set up the winning TD.�� He finished 19 of 22 for 226 and 0 INTs.�������� B


RB:Mendy had a roller-coaster ride of ups and downs.��� Ever the anti-Marcus Allen, he enraged me when he got stood up by Fred Reed at the 1-yard line on a TD plunge.�� But, on the next play, he showed good 2nd effort to punch it in for a TD.��� In the 2Q, he coughed up the ball when a body part of Kemo�s jarred the ball loose.Very poor.���He had a superb 2nd effort on the game-winning TD plunge late in the game.��


����� Redman, long mired on the bench ever since his game-winning TD vs. the Ravens in Dec, was only allowed to touch the ball once.�� On a key 3d & 1 on the 1st series, he eluded Ray Ray and sliced ahead for a 4-yard gain.�� After that, he was marooned and planted firmly on the bench.���


����� Moore had good consecutive carries in the 2Q after Mendy�s fumble, gaining 5 and then 7 yards.��


����� Unbelievably, the RBs combined for 1 catch (Mendy) for 13 yards.������������ B


FB:Rarely used, although LeGursky played some FB in goal-line.�� Inc.


WR:Almost unbelievably, the 2 rookies led the way.�� Sanders led all WRs with 4 grabs.�� He had 2 clutch grabs, and a nice weave on a WR screen in the 3Q.Brown had 3 for 75, none bigger than the 3d & a mile bomb that he hauled in for 58 yards, doing a David Tyree-like pinning of the ball to his helmet after he hauled and almost juggled the ball loose.��


Wally drew a PI flag on the 1st series for 41 yards.�� He was held to a measly 20 yards on 3 grabs.�� He utterly enraged me on the end around early in the 4Q, in which he had a BEVY of blockers and mis-read the blocking, getting stopped for 4 when he should have scored walking in.��� (We settled for a FG 2 plays later.)


Ward was unfairly given a personal foul flag on the 1st play on offense, which should have been off-setting.�� He didn�t catch his 1st pass until early 3Q.He made a superb TD catch amidst tight coverage on 3d & 6 late in the 3Q.Then, in the 4Q, amidst smothering coverage, he caught a huge, clutch grab on 3d & 10 to move the sticks.(3 plays later, Ben hit Brown for 58 yards.)��� ��There were no dropped passes by the WR corps (Sanders had one jarred loose by 2 defenders), which was impressive.�� ���A+


TE:Miller, as usual, was totally ignored early on, not thrown a pass until 1:12 1Q.�� His1st catch came at 4:56 2Q.�� Go figure.�� He had 5 grabs for 39, and would have had many more if he wasn�t marooned in the backfield doing pass-blocking.��� Fortunately, Spaeth was never thrown a pass.����� B+


OL: The line was nicked and hobbled, but held together.�� There were 6 sacks, at least 4 of which were attributed to Ben clutching & pumping.�� Adams got sick in the 1st half, and like a faggott could not play.��� Scott got nicked up when Ngata blasted into him, and missed some time in the 2H.�� When that happened, Essex moved from RT to LT, and LeGursky, the last available O-lineman, had to play RT.��� Essex ended up getting abused by Suggs for a sack on 3d & 6 in the 4Q, the 3rd of the day for Suggs.�� (Didn�t I say in my pre-game that we had to provide HELP on Suggs....???)���


���Piss Kemo played like a complete assfuck.�� He got away with a blatant, LATE pile-cleanup in the 1Q, but on Mendy�s late TD, he was correctly flagged for a totally stupid, needless pile-shot well after Mendy had crossed the goal line.What a complete assfuck.�� If I�m Tomlin, I start Legursky, if only for 1 play, next week.��� There�s simply no place for this kind of assaholic stupidity by a veteran player.�� Essex had a false start.��


���� Foster was closest to the Ben �fumble�, and wandered away from the ball.�� Stupid, given the fact that no whistle had blown, but 4 Ravens were perched nearby and none made a move to the ball, either.��


���� Pouncey fared ok vs. Ngata, and had a good block on a RB screen (the only 1 of the game) for 13 yards.��������B-��

DL:Leading the charge was Brett Keisel, who had a monster of a game.�� He stuffed Rice for 1 yard on the 2nd series.He helped force the Harrison sack in the 3Q.He recovered the Jacco fumble, and stuffed a delay handoff in the 4Q for -1.���� He also read and sniffed out a screen late in the 3Q, forcing a TA.


����� Piggy Hood chipped in very well.��� He stuffed Gay Rice for a 1-yard gain in the 2Q.He applied some harassment.��� Dick Eason was in at NT on the key 3d & 7 in the 2Q, and was too slow and lumbering to corral Jacco before he dumped to Rice for 9.�� Very poor.


���� Fat Casey had a good stuff of Rice for 0 in the 2Q.But in the 1Q, he got totally manhandledon Rice�s 14-yard TD run.Very piss poor.�� ���


���� Keisel�� A,HoodB+,�� all others, B-��


LB:Timmons led the way with 7 solos and 2 A�s.��� He had a brilliant hustle play on a screen in the 1Q, racing over to nab Rice for 5 yards.��� You have to re-watch this play to truly appreciate it.��� In the 4Q, he vaulted over Gay Rice and applied the pressure that led to a Jacco sack.�� This is the kind of ferocious athleticism you simply cannot teach.�� He also had a good stuff of Rice for 0 yards in the 3Q.��


��� Harrison was also HUGE.��� He was quiet in the 1H, because he was relegated to pass coverage by his dumbfuck DC.Of the 22 pass plays in the 1H, Harrison was back in coverage on 12 of those passes.�� Finally, in the 2H, he was permitted to rush the QB, and he terrorized the PoeBirds.��� He had a sack on the 1st play of the 3Q.�� On the next series, he again had a sack on the 1st play.�� 2 plays later, he bullrushed the QB and forced an incompletion on 3d & 15.�� In the 4Q, he forced a flush of Jacco, and then ran him OOB for -8.��� Tremendous.���


��� Taunto Farrior did little.��� He chipped in on some slop tackles, finishing with 3 solos and 2 A�s.He got sealed by McClain in pathetic fashion on Rice�s 14-yard TD run.�� Taunto had coverage on Boldin on the 3rd down DROP of a SURE go-ahead touchdown pass late in the 4Q.��


����� Big LaMarr Woodley did little, finishing with 1 solo and 2 A�s despite NEVER leaving the field.�� His lone solo came on a sack in which the Ravens went with an unbalanced line to the left, and brought in backup tackle Tony Moll as a tackle-legible to play RT.��� Moll moved extremely LATE at the snap, and barely grazed Big LaMarr, who got a cake-easy Dong Sack.�� That was IT from the big he-man.�� He applied very little other heat, and obviously finished with no other solos.�� ����


������ Timmy and Harry:�� A+���� Farrior and Woodley:��� C-���


DB:Leading the way was Ike Taylor, who had a very, very strong game.��� He had 2 bustups on Mason (holding Stiller-killer Mason off the stat sheet, no less) and gave up next to nothing.��� He was flagged for a hold, but this came the 1st play after he re-entered the game due to injury, thanks to dumfuck Ryan Clark, who led with his helmet and hit Taylor instead of the Raven receiver.�� (Will Ryan Clark be fined for leading with the helmet and injuring his own player....??)


���� Ryan Clark surprisingly had a half-decent game.�� He caught a Dong INT when Jacco overthrew Heap by about 19 feet in the 3Q.�� He flashed up and nabbed Boldin on a bubble screen for -2.�� He busted up a pass to Heap on 3d & 7 early on.��� He tackled McGayboy for -2 on a run.�� He also forced a fumble by Gay Rice, although Rice was foolishly holding the ball like a loaf of bread.His main boner -- aside from launching himself, helmet first, at Ike and injuring Ike -- was getting picked by Gay on the TD pass to Heap.��


���� McFadden had a hip injury and went out early.��� Gay filled in and did ok.���� His bump into Clark allowed Heap to be wide open for the TD.�� Madison saw far more PT than we would have preferred.�� He was beaten by TJ on 3d & 3 in the 1Q.He then stumbled, like a drunken stooge, into Mason on 3d & 15 and was flagged for PI.�� Very clumsy and very stupid.�� Gay played ok, although he gave up a few receptions.��


����� With all the talk and praise, Troy Pola went out today and shit the bed with a wretched effort.He had a cheesy cut tackle that did NOTHING to slow down Rice on the 14-yard TD.�� Then, in the 2Q, on 3d & 7, he went after Rice wildly, and totally out of control, on a dumpoff to Rice, in which Rice was able to easily elude Pola and gain 9.�� Piss fuking poor.�� He finished with 2 solos and was a complete, total NON-factor.������


Ike:�� A+������ Clark:�� A���� all others:�� C+��


Spec teams:This short-bus crew nearly pissed away the game.����� They started off poorly enough, allowing a KO that went to -3 to be returned to the 35 (tackle made by Suisham, of all people), and with shoddy follow-on tackling, to the 49 before Tomlin wasted a challenge and had it moved back to the 35.��


��� Suisham missed a 43-yard FG late in the 2Q, hooking it to the left.He nearly missed a PAT in the 3Q, again nearly hooking it left.��


��� Krapinos had a rare, good punt, downed at the 1.�� It was too good to be true, of course, as someone ( does not identify who) was flagged for ineligible man DF.�� The re-punt was boomed into the EZ for a TB.���


��� Ike had a good solo stop in KO cover.�� Foote also did, late 3Q, and Allen did in the 4Q.�� Redman had a superb pancake block on El�s punt return in the 4Q.


��� The punt coverage sucked horse-cock in the 4Q, allowing a TD.�� Lewis missed the initial stop, and then was followed by whiffs by Warren and Allen.But a correct holding flag on Balt brought the ball back to the PIT 29.���

���� The penalties were crushing.Lewis was flagged for a stupid-fuk block to the back on a punt return in the 2Q, just before Mendy�s fumble.�� Fox had a hold on a punt return in the 1Q, forcing Pit to start at its own 10.Sylvester was flagged for a false start just before the late punt return for a TD that was called back.���� ���

���� The late squib KO (from the PIT 15, thanx to Kemo�s 15-yard flag) by Suisham sucked ass and was woefully short (fielded at the Balt 40), and the coverage was slow and soft, giving Balt the ball at the PIT 48.��� Piss fuking poor.������D- ����


OC:Arians had a good 1st drive, moving 10 plays and 80 yards for a TD, even overcoming Ward�s personal foul & a 2nd & 19 early on.���


��� That was about it.�� Arians shot his wad.��� Problems and boners were immense --


���� - on 3d & 11 early in the 2Q, Heath Miller was assigned to pass block as a side car RB, rather than, you know, being in the PATTERN.�� A pass to Wally was inc.�� Miller was forced into the janitorial duties several times in the game.���


���� - after the 2MW in the 2Q (at 1:57), Ben hit Sanders in a curl.�� Unbelievably, the offense diddle-fucked for eons of time, and finally, Balt called a timeout at 1:22.��� Fuking pitiful.�� Sanders grabbed his pass around 1:50.�� After the 2MW timeout, it should not take 20 seconds to get off the next play.���


��� - Arians, the genius, tried ZERO screens to the RBs the entire 1H, despite facing a defense rushing pell-mell at the QB.�� For the game, he tried ONE, which gained 13 yards.�� Apparently, that wasn�t enough yardage to quench Arians� thirst.�� RBs combined for ONE catch the entire game, which given their skills and the fact that RBs are a perfect tonic on checkdowns and swing passes, is just incomprehensible.


��� - The offense wasted not 1, but TWO timeouts in the 2H.The clock ran down to 0:05 on 3d & 6 at the Balt 8.Then, on the 3d & 19, the entire offense looked befuddled and Ben had to call a TO.��� Very sloppy.


��� The absolute worst, most unforgiving boner by Arians occurred right after Brown�s 58-yard bomb.With the score tied and the ball at the Balt 4, the Stiller took over on 1st down with 1:58 remaining.�� All they really had to do here was KNEEL on the ground 3 times, and worst case, take the FG while forcing the Ravens to waste all THREE timeouts.��� But in the words of Pittsburgh native and TV ad-meister Billy Mays, �But wait....!!�����Assfuck Arians calls some clusterfuck pass play -- totally devoid of play-action, of course -- to Hines, which was chock full of confusion and stopped the clock at 1:55 after the incompletion.��� Completely fuking RETARDED !!!!��� Balt. had to use only 2 timeouts -- not 3 -- and was able to keep a precious TO in their pocket after the ensuing KO.���


����� The fact that Arians was totally unprepared to chip block and help out on Suggs is just incomprehensible.���� C+ ��


DC:You�ll hear the usual fawning, worship, and glorified adulation of Dick after this game.�� Never mind that of the 4 (four) 1st half possessions, the Ravens scored TDs on TWO of those possessions.And this wasn�t against Joe Montana and Jerry Rice.�� It was against Joe Jacco and a weak-assed Balt offense that finished 16th in the NFL in points scored and 22nd in total yardage.��� Supposedly being the �#1 ranked defense�, forcing a FG would have been nice on EITHER of these TD drives.���


����� Dick, as is all too often his penchant, shit the bed and was totally unprepared in the 1st half.��� He got riddled to death by screen passes.Worse, he was constantly a step behind Ravens OC Cam Cameron.��� Cases in point:��


���� - 3d & 5 1st series, screen to a WIDE open Heap, 18 yards.��


���� - Rice draw run , 14 yards, TD, amidst a GAPING hole.��


��� - 3d & 7 after Mendy fumble,�� Jacco had ALL DAY, and dumped off to Rice for 9.Dick Eason was in at NT on this play for no apparent reason, and slowly lumbered after the QB.


��� - 3 plays later, a 3d & goal at the 4 scored a TD when Dick, duh-uh, failed to have his DBs prepared for a simple PICK play.��


���� - after the punt that gave Balt the ball at the PIT 29 late in the 4Q, Jacco had ALL day -- an ETERNITY -- and hit Heap for 21 yards.�� A few plays later, Boldin was covered by Taunto Farrior and DROPPED a cake-easy TD pass that would have put the Ravens ahead by 4.��� Thanks to the drop, the Ravens settled for a tying FG.


���� - on the late 4th & 18, TJ Housemanad dropped an EASY curl pass that hit him right in the bread basket.�� This SHOULD have given the Ratbirds a 1st down at the PIT 37, with plenty of time (and 1 timeout) to take 4 stabs at the end zone.���


The worst contributing factor to the 1st half bed-shitting was Dick�s absurd reluctance to HARASS the passer.�� Here�s what Dick did with his 2 best rushers on the 22 1st half passes:


����� Harrison:�� coverage 12 plays, rushed 10.����� Woodley:coverage 9 plays, rushed 13.���


������ In the 3Q, with Harrison finally being allowed to RUSH the fuking passer, he terrorized and demonized the QB.��� Here are the 2H stats on the 16 passes the Ravens threw:��


����������� ����� Harrison:�� coverage 2 plays, rushed 14.����� Woodley:coverage 9 plays, rushed 7.���


����� WHY was Harry shackled the entire 1st half ???�� Answer: Because his Def. Coord, is a complete dumbfuck !!������


������ Of course, you�ll hear all sorts of praise and worship about how �Dick forced 3 turnovers in the 2nd half�.��� Uh, no, he did not.�� The 1st turnover was somewhat forced, although Gay Rice was holding the ball like a loaf of bread.�� The 2nd turnover was on a totally UN-pressured pass by Jacco that went 19 feet over the intended receiver�s (Heap) head for a Dong INT.�� The 3rd turnover was when the QB, while UNDER CENTER, simply dropped the snap.��� For absolute certainty, neither the 2nd nor 3rd turnovers had ANYTHING to do with defensive influence, pressure, harassment, or �defensive forcing�.��� NONE at all.�� Of course, any number of idiots will peruse the stat sheet and will be totally negligent as to the self-Induced turnovers and the DROPPED touchdown pass, neither of which will show up on the stat sheet.��


������ At any rate, it will be sickly, but grimly humorous, to see Dick get carved up again by the Patsies next week.����� C-


HC:Tomlin failed miserably in having his men ready for playoff football.�� The entire team played a foolish, childish, spastic brand of football the entire 1H, marked by 1 idiot penalty after another.��


����� The wasted challenge on the opening KO was beyond comprehension.�� The difference was 14 or 15 yards, from midfield to the Balt 35.Big shit.Once Tomlin correctly challenge the Ben fumble -- which was astute, as you always challenge an iffy 7-point play like that -- he had NO challenges the rest of the game.�� That�s precisely WHY you don�t piss away a challenge on the opening KO over a piddly, meaningless 15 yards.����


���� I applaud the 4th & 1 sneak call early in the 4Q.�� Ben is money on those plays, and a piss-ant FG try from the Balt 14 would have been weak.�� Sure, the team ended up settling for a FG, but it�s that kind of gusto that wins titles.��


68 penalty yards in the 1H, and 9 total penalties, is entirely unacceptable. Tomlin must do a much, much better job of discipline in the AFC title game. B-


Officiating:�� I don�t often rant about officials, although I�ve been forced to a few times this season.�� This crew was inept and incompetent from the very beginning of the game --


���� - On the opening KO, the Balt returner was clearly DOWN on a tackle by Suisham at the 35.Thanks to NO WHISTLE and typical clumsiness that pervaded the entire game, no whistle was blown and the returner continued on to midfield.Tomlin had to waste a challenge to correct this horrific boner.��


��� - Ward rightfully blocked Reed on the 1st play.�� The two men wrestled each other to the ground.�� Another Raven came in after the whistle and shoved Ward, but inexplicably, Ward was given an �unnecessary roughness� flag on this play.�� Total horseshit.��� At WORST, this should have been off-setting penalties.��


���� - I�m still not convinced Ben�s �fumble� was a fumble.�� Per the �tuck rule�, his arm was coming forward.�� Furthermore, and WORSE, he was FACE-MASKED (or struck with a severe blow to the head) by Suggs in this play, with no flag.��� The worst aspect of this play -- along with the opening KO and the play with TJ Housemanad later in the 1Q -- is that the fuking NFL refs refuse to BLOW their fuking whistles !!��� Both Tomlin and Bellichick alluded to this very fact earlier this season.�� 50% of all NFL plays end with ZERO whistles.�� It�s fuking amateurish at its worst.��


��� - On 3d & 21 in the 3Q, Randle El ran a chair route and was BLATANTLY contacted by the DB about 13 yards downfield.�� No flag.��


��� -�� After Brown hauled in a slant for 10 yards to start the 4Q, Ben rushed the offense to the LOS to catch the Ravens off-guard and run a quick QB sneak.�� Coach Harbaugh motioned the refs over to supposedly challenge the spot, and the refs STOPPED the action.��� Then, Harbaugh backed off his challenge (or was told that he can�t, because you can only challenge the spot of a MADE 1st down), but the damage had been done.�� Balt was able to halt the game and get their defense aligned.��� Total fuking bullshit.��� Technically, it�s legal, and the NFL needs to OUTLAW this bullshit, un-punished STOPPAGE of play.

���� - Late in the game, on 2nd & goal, the Stillers ran a plunge.��� The Ravens were flagged for def. holding.�� The ball was spotted, yet the clock did NOT re-start, remaining stuck on 1:48 until Pouncey snapped the ball on the ensuing 1st down.�� I could be wrong, but I thought after a DEFENSIVE penalty like this, the clock would be started the second the ball was spotted.�� After all, a D-side penalty should not be able to stop the clock ad infinitem on a ground play that was stopped in-bounds.����


���� - Woodley was blatantly held, without flag, on a 1st down play midway thru the 2nd series in the 1Q.��� Harrison was held a couple times, yet the Ravens O-line was never flagged the entire game.��


���� - About the only call the bumbling ref crew got correct was the blatant hold on the late PR for a TD.I have no clue as to what Shannon Dull was carping and bitching about after the game.�� What a complete pile of shit.�� He�s supposed to be providing objective coverage for CBS, yet before and after the game, all he was doing was being a Raven-humper.�� Fuck Shannon Dull.�� �����


�������� C-���


Synopsis:So sayeth The Raven, �Never more, never more.��� Never more, indeed!!�� The WoodPeckers will go home and peck away at their peckers as the complete losers that they are !!Fuk the PoeBirds!!The Stillers move on to the AFC title game, where, unless drastic adjustments are made on defense, they�ll look to be the pumpkin at the carving table at the hands of the Gaytriots.��� Now that we�ve whupped ass on the RatBirds and this report is done with, I�m drinkin� Dewar�s to celebrate!!����



(Still Mill and -- when it comes to the analysis of the Pittsburgh Stillers, no one else comes close�.)




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