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Stillers-Pats Postgame Analysis and Grades

December 18, 2017 by Still Mill

Stillers 31, Pats 27 …….Dec 17, 2017…………Game # 14  (Final Score, Pats 27, Stillers 24)


Stillers-Pats Postgame Analysis and Grades


The 11-2 Stillers hosted the hated 10-3 Pats in the battle for AFC homefield advantage.  On a dreary, rainy, 41 degree evening. the Stillers slugged it out to the end with the Pats.    As usual, the Stillers were down early, allowing NE to march with ease for an opening TD.   The Stillers stormed back, and then took a 17-10 lead late in the 1H on a 1-handed grab by Bryant.   The 2H was a see-saw affair, with NE scoring the go-ahead TD with 1 minute left.  But JuJu took a short pass all the way to the NE 10.   Jesse James was ruled to have scored the go-ahead TD, but the jack-assed replay review ruled that, after his knee LANDED, and after he REACHED the ball over the GL, the ball moved a centimeter in his hands, and they over-turned the TD.    Ben tried a fake-spike pass play on 3d down, which got deflected by a DB and then INTd, thereby killing the chance of a chipshot game-tying FG.   In the end, this game will be known as The Robbery of Jesse James.




QB:   Poor lob to Bryant, 2nd series, which shoulda been a TD.  Nice jump pass to Eli for the first TD.  Had a good TD pass to AB, 2Q, but AB dropped the ball.   Held the ball FOREVER, on a pump fake, 2Q, and took a sack.   Went 15 of 19, 1H.  


A miracle….!   Ben ran for 5 yards on a 3d & 4, 4Q.    I despised Ben’s decision to pass the ball to JuJu on a TWO yard pattern on 3rd & 4, late 4Q, when there was a SWARM of defenders on JuJu.   Eli was WIDE open on a zig in route and would have easily gained 5 yards to move the chains. 


Once no one was open on that 3rd down pass from the NE 7 with about 12 seconds left in the game, I would have preferred Ben to airmail the ball into the bleachers to set up the tying chipshot FG.  With the huge # of passes that Ben has batted at the LOS, plus with the FOREST of defenders there, not much good was going to come on a pass to a diminutive #4 WR.  Good game, throwing 22 of 30 for 281.   Obviously, the late INT ruins the grade a bit.     B- 



Bell - Very solid game, with 117 yards rushing on 24 carries, and 5 grabs for 48.   A


Conner - good run of about 10, 2Q.   Had his usual piddly 3 carries, but then got injured on the final carry.    Hope he can return for the playoffs.


Touissaint -- much to my chagrin and rage, he got a carry on 2d & 23, which made me blow my gasket.   



Nix - solid lead block on Bell’s 10-yard run, 2Q.    Had a couple good lead blocks.  



Brownie – dropped a fairly easy TD pass, early 2Q, and then was injured on the play as he got twisted up with a DB.   Turns out he has a torn calf.    He won’t play till the playoffs, and hopefully he’ll be at full health.    Inc.  


Bryant - laid out and grabbed a 39-yard lob, first play of 2Q.   Then made a ONE handed TD grab, late 2Q, while being blatantly held on his other arm/hand.  Had 4 grabs for 59, his best production since the Viking game way back in Sep.    Def need this guy to man up with AB out.     B+ 


Eli - good TD grab, 2nd drive.   That was his lone grab, as the last-second pass to him in the EZ got deflected by a DB in coverage.   I would have much preferred Eli to run a zig-OUT to the corner of the EZ, where he likely is WIDE open, and more importantly, the chances of an INT are approx.. about 1% instead of the 75% chance on the crosser amid a FOREST of defenders. 


Heyward-Gay – grabbed a short pass late in the game, but got nabbed just in-bounds, which set off the 3rd down fake-spike pass that got deflected and INTd.    If DHB takes a sharper, 90-degree angle to the sideline, he might get there and stop the cliock, thereby allowing Ben to huddle and call a conventional play.  B-


JuJu - stellar grab of low pass on a key 3d & 3, 2Q.   Led the team with 6 grabs, none bigger than taking a short crosser 69 yards to set up the late-game, game-winning TD by James that got erased by a jack-assed review official.    A+


Hunter - did  not dress.  


Jesse James - flagged for OPI on a WR screen, early 2Q.   Scored the apparent GW TD, only to have it over-turned when the replay review claimed he “lost control” of the ball.  Complete bullshit.   He clearly HAD FULL CONTROL, then landed on his KNEE, still in complete control.   This COMPLETES the CATCH.   He then REACHED the ball over the plane of the goal line, which competes a TOUCHDOWN.    He got fuked, as did the entire team.   Perhaps the NFL, in the offseason, will introduce the “Jesse James rule” to prevent the complete misinterpretation of this rule.     B


Grimble - clutch grab on 3d & 1, late 3Q. 


McDonald - Once  again sat out, with a sore vagina of some sort.   He’s a complete pussy.     Even if he’s healthy enough to play at any point this season, I’d deactivate this sorry-assed pussy.    F



OL:  Overall, the line had some good push in the ground game and gave Ben good time, although this is a mediocre NE defense.   I wasn’t pleased when they weren’t able to open holes in the 4Q when the offense was trying to chew some clock.   B-


Villeneueva -  flagged for a hold on Conner’s 9-yard run, 4Q.  Two plays later, committed a jack-assed false start.   Had a few struggles in pass pro.    C


Gilbert -  FatAss Marcus again sat with his suspension. 


Hubbard - acquitted himself decently.    B


Foster –  solid game. 


Pouncey - decent game, although he was hardly dominant.    B- 


DeCastro – called for a hold, first series, to help abort what was a promising opening series.    What an asshump.   C- 



Hargrave - hasn’t done anything in WEEKS, but his pressure forced the errant pass that Vinnie INT’d in the 3Q.   Had all of 1 solo in an otherwise mouse-quiet game.    C


McCullers - did not dress. 


Heyward – stupidly went offsides, 3d & 1, first series.   Jackass.   On the 2d series, he bullrushed the blocker and sacked Tom Lady.   This, sadly, was his only solo of the game, which simply isn’t enough.     C


Tuitt – good pressure to force an errant pass, 3d & 9 late 3Q.   Held off the stat sheet with a quiet effort as well.    C


Alu - saw a goodly amount of PT and had a solid game.   Was fairly pleased.    B


Walton - Chipped in here and there with some spot PT.  



Vinnie– applied a brutal hit to Burkhead on a ground play, 3Q.   Stellar INT, 3Q.  


Moats - thankfully didn’t get PT on defense.


Harrison – sat and rotted.     


Chickillo - little or no PT on D. 


Watt - Saw a lot of PT, but did little.   Had 2 solos, but meager impact.     C+ 


Dupree –Got completely dominated and CAVED IN on the 4th down running play that gained 12, 4Q.   He did get a supremely RARE stop for a loss in the 3Q.   Finished with 2 solos, and did little more than titty-joust the entire game.   (Yes, he had a QB pressure when the OT did a complete “oley” in the 2H.)     D- 



Mitchell –no help whatsoever on the early flag pass that setup up NE on 1st & goal.  Did nothing the entire game.   Complete piece of shit.     D 


Gay  -  saw some PT and had 1 solo. 


Haden - did not dress; apparently the broken leg had not yet healed.    Needs to return come playoff time.  


Burns - good 3rd down stop of White after a short pass, 3Q.  Flagged for PI on a huge 3d & 3, 4Q.   Busted up a lob, 2 plays later.  Allowed Lewis to bust thru his tackle on the GW TD run.   I remain unimpressed by this man’s lack of toughness and heart.      C 


Davis - got tooled by Gronk, 2Q, for 31 yards, 1Q.    Good coverage on Gronk., 3Q, but a perfect pass allowed Gronk to make the 22-yard grab.  Failed to corral a tipped pass for an INT, late 4Q, which would have SEALED the win.    After that, Davis took to imitating the biggest faggott on the planet, getting tooled, schooled, used, and abused by Gronk the ENTIRE drive, and then for the 2-point conversion.    If Davis doesn’t play like such a pussy, perhaps NE doesn’t score the 2-pointer, and then Ben isn’t trying to win the game with a TD, as a Stiller FG would have won the game.   I’ve long liked Davis, but he played like a complete bitch and pussy in this game.   D-  


Hilton - stellar play, 2Q, to bust up a TD in the EZ.   Then, in the 3Q, he against got a hand on a pass, this time intended for Gronk at the GL.    A- 


Sutton - got beaten on a 3Q TD, although the elapsed time of the play made it fairly impossible to cover a WR that long. 


Spec teams:  

Jordan Berry – punted 4 times.   Had a mediocre 31 yard punt to the NE 11, 3Q.    I say mediocre, because a GOOD punt pins NE down at the 5, or the 2.    The 11-yard line isn’t shit.     Had a good 60-yard boot in the 4Q.    C+ 


Boswell – stellar 51-yard FG, in the rain, early 2Q.   Ok on KOs, although he had a couple shallow boots.   A-


Rogers - stupidly failed to FC a punt at his own 16, late 3Q, which the ball rolled and was downed at the 3.    To his defense, the fact that Mike Asslin ROTTED this man from PR chores since the fumble in Chicago, most assuredly led to this botch.    This mistake is on Asslin himself, who didn’t need to play the role of jackass by benching Eli for 10 weeks because of ONE fuking muffed punt.  


AB – no PT as a returner.  


Nix had a good stop in KO coverage, 2Q.     Overall, the coverage teams did a good job.    NE got wise, just like Balt last week, by PURPOSELY booting KOs short of the GL, which forced THE worst KO return unit in the NFL to return several kicks.  


JuJu returned the late KO with about 1 minute left in the game…..even though he clearly caught the KO inside the EZ.    He should have been clearly instructed to KNEEL and take the touchback, thereby saving 4 seconds as well as (in this case) 4 yards of field position.  


OC:  For 3-1/2 quarters, Haley did a nice job.   Then he went chickenshit conservative, trying to MILK clock when getting FIRST DOWNS was the paramount task.   I fuking despised the chickenshit running play, to Touissaint no less, on 2d & 23, 4Q.     2nd and 23, and you’re going to run the fuking ball with some practice-squad piss-ass who hasn’t carried the ball ALL season ????!!!    Are you fuking kidding me ????     Then he orders a TWO yard in route to JuJu on 3d & 4, which forced the late punt that NE took for the GW TD.   Ben isn’t a greenhorn, 23-year old QB, and you’ve got to try to WIN the fuking game, right there, with a FIRST DOWN.    The last 2 drives, prior to the game-ending drive, were complete shit and piss.     C+ 



Keith Assler had an ok game plan, using much more man coverage than that pigslop we saw at the AFCC.   Still, it was a diarrhea-laden plan.   The blitz pressure was mostly non-existent.   Then, Assler had NO PLAN to try to bottle up Gronk.   Sean Davis in SOLO coverage??   LMAO.   As hopeless as when they tried to use Gay in solo coverage on Gronk in that horrific loss at Heinz Field in 2010.    Assler never made a single adjustment nor provided any help.    And, Assler rarely ever had anyone CHIP Gronk at the LOS, such as a LB.   Ya need to do this, just to take away the FREE release Gronk was getting on 98% of his routes.   D


HC:  Mike Dumblin oversaw a solid effort, amid a host of rabid boners.    For one, no help provided to Davis, who played like a complete bitch and got continually tooled by Gronk.   For another, JuJu deciding to return the late KO, instead of simply TAKING A FUKING KNEE and saving 4 seconds of scarce time with the clock under 1 minute.   And then the rotting of Eli Rogers for 10 weeks as a punt returner, and sure as shit, it comes home to roost as Eli mis-played the punt late in the 3Q, forcing the offense to start on its own 3 yard line.   And then the completely chickshit playcalling later in the 4Q, when some FIRST DOWNS could have salted the game away.   The Stillers showed they can play with the Patsies, but what remains to be seen is if Mike Stoogelin is the coach who can actually BEAT the Pats in the playoffs.      C 


Synopsis:  A bitter loss, in which the replay officials doled out the Vaseline and fuked this team in the ass by completely mis-applying the catch rule.   James clearly GRABBED the pass and landed on his knee, in COMPLETE CONTROL of the ball.  This COMPLETES the CATCH.    He then reached the ball over the plane of the goal line, which completes the TOUCHDOWN.    It was only after the reach OVER the plane, that the ball moves a centimeter, which is completely irrelevant by that point in time.    Now on to HOU, which sux, but after emotional games vs. Balt and NE, the Stillers are due for a road egg lay.    Watch out, because Jax is just 1 game back, and they obviously beat the Stillers earlier this season.  


(Still Mill and -- when it comes to the analysis of the Pittsburgh Stillers, no one else comes close….)

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