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Stillers-Pats Postgame Analysis and Grades

January 28, 2002 by Still Mill

Stillers 28, Browns 7 ���

Patriots 24, Stillers 17���. Jan 27th, 2002 ����AFC Championship

Stillers-Patriots Postgame Analysis and Grades

cower v 1: crouch or curl up [syn: huddle]  2: show submission or fear.    cow�er (kour) intr.v. cow�ered, cow�er�ing, cow�ers  To cringe in fear.

Bill Cowher lived up to his namesake with yet another total team stink in a home playoff game against a vastly out-manned underdog, allowing the Patriots to steal a 24-17 win and advance to the Super Bowl.   The team came out flat and cowering, and then sputtered and stunk the entire first half, before making a game of it midway thru the 3rd quarter.   But neither the offense nor the defense was up to a championship level, as the cowering defense failed to stone the Pats and the cowering offense failed to come even remotely close to tying the game.   Fumbled snaps, dropped passes, a blocked FG attempt, a long punt return for TD, whaleshit running plays, a flawed game plan apparently formulated during a drunken stupor  --- all the warts that had been evident all season long, cropped up again today in bunches.   In all, easily one of the worst, most embarrassing playoff losses in Stiller history, and perhaps even the worst

Big Plays:

1.  After a silly penalty by Troy Edwards nullified a 64-yard punt, Josh Miller boots a low lining punt down the center of the field, and Troy Brown breaks 3 tackles en route to a 55-yard TD.  

2.  Kordell Stewart avoided a near sack, and then dashed from the pocket, eludes two more tacklers, and ran for a 34-yard gain to set up a FG early in the 2Q. 

3.  On a 3rd & 8 just after the 2 min. warning, Brady hits a wide-open Patten across the middle, and Patten runs another 15 yards for a 28-yard gain.  Brady injured his leg on this play and did not return.  This play set up the Pats for�.

4.   �David Patten scorches single coverage by a LB, and hauls in an 11-yard TD pass from sub-QB Drew Bledsoe.

5.   On a 34-yard FG try in the 3rd qtr, Brandon Mitchell steamrolls Marvel Smith and then blocks the kick.  Troy Brown scoops up the loose ball, and with no risk involved, laterals the ball to Antwan Harris, who sprints 49 yards for a Patriot TD, turning a 14-6 game into 21-3. 

6.   On 3rd & 9 midway thru the 3Q, Amoz Zereoue takes a middle dump pass, and speedily dashes for a 19-yard gain, setting up an eventual Bettis TD.  

7.  Troy Edwards returns a NE punt 28 yards, giving the Stillers golden field position at the NE 32, after which they scored 5 plays later to make the score 21-17. 

8.  Adam Vinatieri boots a 44-yard FG early in the 4Q, giving the Pats a 24-17 lead.

9.  Stewart overthrows Ward on a deep crosser, causing an INT with 2:41 left in the game.  

10.  Stewart overthrows Burress, causing an INT with 2:02 left in the game, which sealed the loss.  

Grades:

QB:   Stewart struggled most of the game, having problems with things he'd eradicated but cropped up again today:  throwing at times off his back foot, and throwing a lot of lollipop floaters that arrived low and in the dirt.   Stew completed several passes that had no RAC yardage, because Hines or Plex was on the ground after diving for the low throw.   The challenged completion to Shaw should have been a fairly easy completion, but the low throw turned the play into Shaw having to make a scoop of the ball just millimeters above the turf.  Stew did have the outstanding 34-yard run, but otherwise his running was held in check by the savvy NE defense.   Obviously, the first INT, since it was a Hail Mary, can't be blamed on Stew (although it was a weakish pass), but the other two INTs were poor throws that showed poor composure and hasty overthrows.    Stewart also fumbled two snaps (one resulted in a turnover) and bobbled another.    All in all, Stew didn't play well enough as a QB to lead his team to victory.   C-.   

RB:   The Tubby Tailback finally played after the 8-week hiatus, and he was every bit as slow, slovenly, fat, and out of shape as I feared he would be.   The Doughboy was easily engulfed by the undersized but quick Patriot defense, gaining just 8 yards on 9 carries.    Even on his TD plunge, he looked feeble and tentative, as he did throughout the game.  Bettis did have a solid 12-yard gain on a screen pass, and also a dumpff near the sideline and gained 11 yards.   Amoz Zereoue had a strong game catching the ball out of the backfield, snaring 4 passes for 50 yards.   Amoz was rarely allowed to carry the ball, despite being a key ingredient in the Stillers late-season surge and whipping of the Ravens last week.   AZ rushed for 11 yards on 4 carries.   To his credit, AZ had a great run for what should have been ruled a TD, but the refs somehow, for no reason whatsoever, ruled him down/OOB at the 1.   AZ also had a nice 11-yard TD run, reading the blocks nicely and briskly running to daylight, and AZ had the big 19 yard gain to move the sticks in the previous TD drive.  Chris Fu was relegated to infrequent duty, and was thrown just one pass, which was a tough 3rd down chance that he dropped (but would have been well short of the sticks anyway).    Bettis: D.    AZ:  A.    Fu:  Incomplete.  

FB:  Jon Witman got the start, and as always, was about as effective as a screen door on a submarine.    Witman flopped about quite a bit and contributed little.   In a fit of hilarity, he also got leveled by Bryan Cox on a short pass to Tuman near the Pats goal line.   Dan Kreider got a good amount of PT, and contributed some solid blocking, plus two short pass receptions.   Kreider had a nice block on Amoz' 11-yard TD run.   B.   

WR:   A So-so day from this crew.    Plex and Ward each finished with nearly identical numbers -- Plex 5 for 67; Ward 6 for 64.  But neither man was able to make a truly big play, although some of that was limited to the low throws that severely restricted RAC yardage, plus Ward was unbelievably forced to stay in & pass block in the backfield on two occasions.  Ward did make an outstanding catch that would have netted some 30 yards, but the replay ruled that he momentarily juggled the ball as his back landed OOB.   A great effort, nonetheless.   Durress was flagged twice for pass interference, the first of which was a foolish grab of a player in broad daylight.   The 2nd didn't matter much, because Durress juggled the ball despite being wide open, and then eventually dropped it when he got blasted by a DB.   On the team's first series, Durress dropped a low pass on an out, and the next play, Ward dropped a low curl pass which would have been a 9-yard gain on 3rd & 8.   Shaw had  only 1 grab, a clutch 9 yard gain on 3rd & 4.   Shaw also made a great attempt to scoop the low throw from Stew late in the 2Q, and he appeared to make the catch, but the replay ruled it incomplete.   Edwards had 2 grabs, including a clutch 7-yarder on 3rd & 6 in the 3Q.   B-. 

TE: Tuman was thrown one pass near the NE end zone, which was broken up.  Cushing gained 12 yards off a nice reverse bootleg pass.   The blocking was average.  B. 

OL:  The O-line clearly was not prepared for the quickness and aggressiveness of the NE run-blitzing scheme.   Time and time again, the Pats were able to get penetration, while Stiller linemen were standing nearby with thumbs up asses.    Leading the way in stench and vomit was RT Marvel Smith, who continually was either bullied or was pawing at defenders as they blew by him.   Willie MCGinnest, Mike Vrabel, and other Pats took turned whipping by Smith as though he were a turnstile at the local AMC movie theater.   On one completion to Plex at 12:55 of the 3Q, Smith literally got steamrolled onto his ass by an onrushing lineman.   And Smith was flagged for a hold, which was declined by NE on a 3rd down incompletion.   The rest of the line didn't exactly set the world afire.   On a 3rd & 13 in the 1B, both Faneca and Gandy ended up on their ass from a Roman Pfifer blitz.   In all, an entirely slovenly effort from a crew that had too much talent against such a marginal foe.   D. 

DL:  The D-line played adequately today.   The Pats has some small success here and there on the ground, but for the most part the D-line bottled up Antwain Smith and Redmond.     Aaron Smith had a nice bulrush on the game's first series, helping to cause the sack.   Smitty also made a tremendous hustle play on a 3rd & 4 completion to Wiggins in the 1Q, in which Smith dashed downfield, and then blasted Wiggins backwards as Wiggins was lunging for the first-down yardage.   Hampton, Kimo, and Bailey chipped in with solid play.    B. 

LB:   The LB crew was missing its leader and leading tackler, Earl Holmes, whose knee injury kept him out of the game.   Kendrell Bell led the way with a strong game, leading the defense with 8 solos.   Bell had one sack, plus caused Aaron Smith's sack on the game's first series when he blasted the living piss out of LG Mike Compton.   Bell also blasted Antwain Smith onto his back on the bomb to Patten, which was slightly under thrown and tipped by DeWayne and juggled/dropped by Patten.   Bell made a nice play to swoop in on a Pats RB after a short screen near the sideline.   John Fiala filled in and played adequately, getting 2 solos and 4 assists.   Fiala also had a nice blast of a RB on a short dumper, causing an incompletion.   Still, Fiala didn't record any stuffs for losses the way Holmes had throughout the season.   Mike Jones saw a lot of action at ILB as well, and played adequately.    At times, Jason Gildon had a solid game, playing with some rare fire and hustle.  Besides getting a couple of sacks, (one off a slowpoke gimmick play), the Dong also hit Bledsoe's arm after a long Wide Loop Rush, forcing an incompletion.   Jason also deflected a pass while in zone coverage and batted a WR screen pass.   Of course, Gildon did his share of flopping and flailing, missing numerous tackles and also getting bullied about on some ground plays.   And GilDong was clearly out of his element in coverage on the WRs, getting beaten by Brown on the deep in that was eventually ruled an incompletion by the replay challenge, and abused by Patten for the 11-yard TD pass.   Joey Porter had 4 solos and 1 assist, and nearly had a huge INT, but his one-handed stab was unable to pull in the Bledsoe fastball.    B. 

DB:   A so-so game from the secondary.   DeWayne was picked on & beaten a couple times by the Pats on deep passes, but throws that were a bit off (one too long, one too short) saved DW from the burnings.   Chad had a nice blast of Bledsoe near the sideline, one of the few times the defense hit the tar out of a ballcarrier.   Townsend was flagged for a hold.   Flowers flailed and missed on a couple tackles.   Logan and Brent played ok.   The Pats didn't torch the Stiller secondary, but they were continually able to make key 3rd down completions and were able to ding us on occasion with relative ease.   Facing a team that had only two good receivers, I expected better.  C+. 

Spec teams:  I don't need to expound too much on this grade.  The special teams have sucked ass the entire season, ever since the opening day fiasco in which Jax blocked a punt.    Today, Troy Edwards foolishly ran unforced OOB on a 64-yard punt by Josh, forcing the Stillers to re-punt from their own EZ.  The result was a miserably poor line-drive punt by the $6 million man, Josh Miller, in the exact middle of the field, which Troy Brown fielded, then eluded Fiala (the special teams captain) and easily sauntered by 2 other Pats en route to a 55-yard TD.     Of course, the tone for punt coverage was set on the first punt of the game, in which Brown easily ran by Fiala and then gained 25 yards.   In the 3Q, Kris Brown attempted a 34-yard FG, but  Brandon Mitchell steamrolled Marvel Smith and blocked the kick.   Troy Brown scooped up the ball, and then lateraled to Antwan Harris, who ran 49 yards for the TD.   Troy Edwards had 1 nice 28-yard punt return, aided by crushing blocks by Myron Bell and Clark Haggans.  But otherwise, the return game did little.   Kris was 1 for 1 on FGs.   Spec teams coach Gay Hayes should have been fired at least 10 weeks ago, and if he's not fired by the end of the week, we will then know how committed this team is to returning to the title game.   F-.  

OC:  Mike Mularkey barfed up a game plan that was so wretched and so stinky that it's incomprehensible how the players and trainers were able to deal with the odor while the game plan was laying around the Stiller practice facility.    Let us recount the latent imbecility of Mularkey's game plan and in-game decisions:

- Ran The Tubby Tailback wide right on toss sweeps three times in the first quarter.   On these plays, Bettis gained -2, 0, and -3 yards.   These plays weren't pulled from a grab-bag; obviously, since they were run in the first 3 series of the game, Mularkey BUILT the gameplan to have Bettis running wide, with his shoulders parallel to the LOS, and running wide behind the weak side of the Stiller O-line.   It was readily apparent that Bettis was in no shape to be running wide, but Mularkey the genius, insisted on doing it, and then doing it again, and again.

- Aside from some sporadic use of AZ in the passing game, Mularkey made no attempt to make NE pay with their aggressive gap-shooting and run-blitzing.

- On a series that began on their own 9 yard line, Mularkey called for the toss sweep to Doughboy Bettis, which lost 3 yards.  On 2nd down from the 6 yard line, Mularkey, in a fit of unbelievable stupidity, calls for the pump fake/Kordell keeper, which was nearly stuffed in the EZ for a safety before Stew was corralled at the 3 for a 3-yard loss.   This was sheer asininity at its worst, because you don't run a cutesy trick-type play that leaves your QB naked in his own end zone. 

- On a 3rd & 2 in the 2Q, Ward, lined up as a RB in a shotgun formation, took a pitchout and was dumped for a 2-yard loss.  Prior to the snap, the Pats yelled "Shovel pass", and while it wasn't a shovel pass, clearly the Pats were looking for some chicanery from Ward. 

- Off a slick reverse bootleg, Stewart completed an easy pass to a wide open Cushing for 12 yards.  Later, Stew completed a 9-yard pass to Ward off a mini-roll.   These plays worked too well, and apparently Mularkey felt guilty about it, because these were the only times Stewart was moved from the direct center of the pocket the entire game.  

- On two occasions late in the 2Q -- a 3rd & 11 and a 2nd & 10 -- Hines Ward, the teams' leading receiver, was kept in as a "RB" to pass block in the SG formation.   And these were not screen plays or plays that were designed to slip Ward out into the flats -- Ward clearly pass blocks, and does nothing else, on both of these plays.  

To sum up the futility and sloth today, the Stillers mustered all of 58 rushing yards against an inferior defense, 34 of which came from an improvised QB scramble.  Mularkey had a fine season, but he sabotaged his team today with a shit-laden game plan that wasn't worth the value of a broken prophylactic.   F.

DC:  Like his counterpart, Tim Lewis's had a game-plan that he apparently produced during a bowel movement late on Friday evening, after a heavy bout with several bottles of Night Train wine.   Facing a team that had two, and only two, receivers of any worth and danger, Lewis nonetheless used an overabundance of everyone but his two starting CBs to provide coverage on the Patten/Brown tandem.  This resulted in terrible mismatches, like Lee Flowers covering Troy Brown, or Gildon covering Brown, or, on the TD, Gildon covering Patten.   Had we been facing a team like the Rams, who can split out Faulk and Az Hakim and essentially have 4 dangerous WRs, I can understand an occasional matchup problem, but this bullshit that happened today was self-induced stupidity by Tim Lewis.  Without question, Chad Scott and DeWayne Washington should have been assigned to those two receivers on virtually every play, no matter what the formation.   The other blatant Lewis blunder was the failure to provide heat and harassment on the NE QBs.   Throw away the stat of 4 sacks, because that doesn't begin to tell the real story.    One sack came on the game's first play, and another came on a goofy fake-reverse that went sour.   Both Bledsoe and Brady had plenty of time in the pocket, especially on critical 3rd & longs that the Pats were able to convert with relative ease, all because Lewis got soft and flaccid and called the dogs off.   D-

HC:  Not a lot needs to be written about the son of Marty Shittenheimer, Billy Cowher.  "After some struggle and fight from the Pats early on, the Stillers should handily win this game.  But I cannot, in good conscience as a sports writer, ignore the time-honored preparation, leadership, and in-game decision-making deficiencies of a Bill Cowher coached playoff team."  For the fourth time in four AFC title games at home, Bill Cowher once again has his team come out flat, befuddled, sloppy, meek, and thoroughly ill-prepared for a weaker opponent.   They don't call him Bill Cowshit for nothing, and the shit game plans on both sides of the ball were approved by one man: Billy Cowher.   The decision to insist on going with The Tubby Tailback, long after it was evident to the entire free world that Bettis was hindering -- not helping -- his team, was made by one man:   Billy Cowher.   The man overall responsible for the rancid play of the special teams all season long was one man:  Billy Cowher.   The decision to waste an entire day of preparation to make travel arrangements for the Super Bowl, and put his team's entire mindset into one of complacency and overconfidence, was made by one man:  Billy Cowher.  Cowher will be quick to deflect responsibility, and will get his annual free pass from the adoring Pittsburgh media, but it's no longer a coincidence that Cowher's team has stunk and sputtered in the playoffs against vastly inferior teams -- it's a proven trend, with 10 years of proof and evidence.   No coach does less, with more, in the playoffs than Little Billy Cowher.  

It all starts at the top, and responsibility has got to be placed where it rightfully belongs.   You've got to pin the tail on the donkey, and in this case the donkey, er, the ass, is none other than Bill Cowher.   F-.  

Synopsis:  A fantastic season is flushed down the commode with some of the worst preparation and weakest gameplans seen since the opening day stink-fest at Jacksonville on Sept. 9th.   Congrats to the Pats, who did everything the Stillers did not do -- good preparation, sound game plan, good risk-taking without taking foolish gambles, good coaching, and the gusto to take the bull by the horns right from the opening kickoff with a play-to-win mentality from the entire roster.    I'll soon begin preparing my annual grade report of each and every player, along with each primary coach.   Stay tuned.     

 

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