The �Farrior Barrier� and Other Signs
of Stupidity
Random
Rants by PalmerSucks
October
21, 2011
So
there I was Sunday, having a good time watching the game, hoisting my jumbo
stein of Oktoberfest (shout out, Mongo!) when I see it � and there goes the
whole afternoon.
The
�it� I�m referring to is a sign hung up at Heinz, which the camera caught
during the slopfest vs. the Jags. A huge banner, reading three incredible
words: �The Farrior Barrier.�
�The
Farrior Barrier� � are you KIDDING me?
Yes,
while the rest of us were busy cringing weekly at the sight of Farrior whiffing
on tackles and running three yards behind TEs in
coverage, some GENIUS was thinking enough of his play to create a TEN-FOOT-HIGH
BANNER celebrating it. Amazing, huh?
Welcome
to the America of today � where you can flat-out suck, and they�ll give you a
big contract and a banner in your honor! U-S-A! U-S-A!
The
only thing Farrior�s a �barrier� to is WINNING. So
unless that�s what you mean with the sign, person who put this up � you might
want to consider reflecting reality for a change.
What
we need are TRUE and ACCURATE banners, such as �Foote Odor� or �The Farrior
Failure.� Now that would be something to see. And speaking of banners � where�s
my �Wheelchair Curtain� sign, somebody out there with artistic talent?
Anyway,
just call it the week of stupidity, and let�s count the ways:
--STUPID
is running on the right side so often now that other teams expect it, and
adjust to it like the Jags did Sunday by overloading left -- but you STILL
continue to run right.
--STUPID
is not giving Mendenhall a breather after he looked so gassed. STUPID is not
maintaining a steady rotation working in Redman and Dwyer.
--STUPID
is saying as Bruce Arians did that the no-huddle �wasn't
really necessary� Sunday even after his offense slowed like a crippled
turtle.� �I didn't believe it was time to
speed the game up,� said Bruce. �We just needed to make more first downs.� Really? Duh.
--STUPID is calling for an all-out punt block when your defense,
unlike your offense, has been pretty much holding its own all day.
--STUPID is the ESPN poll that named Jonathan Scott the Stillers
�most disappointing offensive player� � considering that to be disappointing,
there has to be some expectation of performance to begin with. http://espn.go.com/blog/afcnorth/post/_/id/33586/poll-most-disappointing-offensive-player
--STUPID is keeping Scott and releasing Starks in the first
place, no matter what he weighed coming into camp.
--STUPID is not giving the game ball to the other coach for
being 1-4, on the road and desperately needing a win to save his job � and
kicking a field goal down SEVEN with just minutes left in the game.
Of course, the stupidity wasn�t just confined to the Stillers
this week:
--STUPID
is the Raiders taking Carson Palmer off the Bengals�
hands. All they did was give up a first and second
round draft pick (which possibly could turn into another first) for a washed-up
quitter with a throat as tight as a Scotsman�s wallet. With one brilliant
stroke, the Rai-duhs mortgaged the future for the Southern Cal Choker, Carson
Palmer. Way to go!
--STUPID
is anyone who thought Cincy would be sunk without the Southern Cal Choker,
Carson Palmer. NBC�s �NFL Turning Point� did a segment on the Bengals
�surprising start� with a rookie QB replacing the almighty Palmer. Exactly who
is �surprised� besides the dumb Palmer-hyping sports media?
--STUPID
is Cowboys head coach Jason Garret proclaiming �I trust in Tony Romo.� I trust
in Tony Romo, too � to choke away any game that�s close in the 4th
quarter.
--STUPID
is running the ball three straight times, punting and giving the ball back to
Tom Brady with the game on the line. But maybe that�s what you do when your QB
is Tony Choke-o.
Anyway,
enough stupidity for one week. Enjoy the game Sunday.