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Stillers-Lions Postgame Analysis and Grades

November 14, 2021 by Still Mill

Stillers 16, Lions 16..... Nov 14, 2021 …………Game # 9


Stillers-Lions Postgame Analysis and Grades


The 5-3 Stillers hosted the lowly, downtrodden 0-8 Lions on a chilly, rainy afternoon.  As per usual, this vaunted defense allowed the foe to march, easy as pie, late in the 1H to tie the game with a FG.  The lowly Lions actually went ahead in the 3Q with a TD, although their PK missed the PAT.  The Stillers tied the game with 2 FGs, and then the Stillers spent OT fumbling the ball away like complete simpletons.





QB:   Ben was inactive due to a Covid test.


Rudolph got the start.  Bobbled a high snap, 1st series, but had the presence of mind to gather it and then hit McCloud for a 1st down.  Later in the drive, threw way too high to a WIDE open FryBoy at the 5 yard line.  Atoned for that, by hitting Wash for a TD to make it 7-0.  


Threw an awful INT, under no pressure, with a pass about 6 feet over Ballage’s head.   


Good scramble across the field, first PIT play of the 3Q, gaining 26.  A short while later, a pass into the EZ was lollipopped, and were it not for a “defensive” play by James Wash, this was an easy INT.   Gutsy scramble, two plays later on 3d & 6 3Q, to gain the 1st down and withstand a punishing hit.  Had GayRay open in the EZ on 3d & goal, but ONE HOPPED the pass like a damn fool.  


Missed a WIDE open Dionte on 3d & 3, 5:00 4Q, RIFLING the ball at like 94 MPH for the first time all game.  


Sure, he was rusty, but for a QB in his FOURTH year in the NFL, the production should have been more, notwithstanding the lousy weather, which I will factor into the grade.   C



Harris  –  outstanding running, opening drive, gaining 24 yards on 5 carries. 


Gained 10 yards on a 3d & 15 dumpoff, 4Q, on a play where most RBs would have gained 5, maybe 6.   This allowed Boswell to boot a 51 yard FG to tie the game.  THAT was winning football by Harris. 


His ability to MOVE FORWARD after contact is sheer brilliance….something I have rarely seen at the NFL level in the past 20 years.  Today, Harris continually made an extra 2 or 3 yards on plays were defenders WERE THERE, in position to tackle, yet Harris fought through the tackles for extra yardage.    Had 26 rushes for 105, plus 4 grabs for 28.    Dude’s a baller.  A+


McFarl – again inactivated.


Snell –  carried a toss sweep, 3Q, for 4 yards. 


FB:   Watt snared a valve dump, 1Q, and gained 5 yards of RAC for a 9 yard gain.        




Wash - good TD grab, first drive.  Failed to corral a deep lob, 3d & 4, late 3Q. Flagged for OPI….on a very, very ticky tack call.    Had only 2 grabs for 15, on 6 targets.    B-


Dionte -  flagged for a false start, 12:43 2Q.   This always – always – enrages me when a WR does this.   Good grab a few plays later, on 3d & 8, snaring a low out pass and moving the chains on a 20-yard gainer. 


Dropped a deep out, early 3Q.   A few plays later, on a free play caused by a DET offsides, Dionte failed to corral a very, very catchable ball in the EZ.   To make matter worse, he was flagged for OPI, negating the offsides.  Dropped another pass on a routine out, 3:48 3Q.  


Had the big catch and RAC in OT, but then COUGHED up the ball like a complete jackass.  Good RAC across the field late in OT, picking up blockers and getting OOB.  Had 7 grabs for 83.    B-


Claypool – inactive due to a toe.        


GayRay McCloud – good grab on 2Q out pass, holding on despite a big hit.  Had 7 grabs for 42, 1H.  Had a total of 9 grabs for 63, on 12 targets, an asininely high # of targets for a guy who has no business playing on offense in the NFL.     C+


Sims- activated due to the Carpool injury. Never seemed to be used on O.    Inc.



Ebron – rare, good grab, in tight coverage, on short pass, opening drive. Caught a short pass in OT and tried this ridiculous, highly foolish vault, which could have easily resulted in a jarred-loose fumble.    B


Pat FryBoy – dropped a dumpoff, late in OT, when he ran before he secured the ball.  Then, with 8 seconds left in OT, and the team on the cusp of FG range, he fuking COUGHED the ball up after a short grab, which gave the ball away to DET.  Of course, with only 8 seconds left, it is highly, very highly unlikely the team could have clocked the ball for a FG attempt.     B-


Gentry – got mauled backwards on an end around, which forced him to get shoved into the ballcarrier, McCloud, who lost 3 yards.   A shit blocking attempt by a complete pudd puller. I’d cut this sorry fuk after that blocking effort.   C-


OL:  Overall, the line played okay.   They allowed a fair amount of leakage on too many pass plays, although their run blocking was pretty good.      


Dotson limped off the field, mid 2Q.   JC Assenhour replaced him. Turner injured an ankle; replaced by Haeg. 


Moore was flagged for a hold, negating an impressive 7 yard TD run by Harris, 2Q.  The Stillers ended up settling for a FG, losing 4 points thanks to Moore’s dumbassity.  


KenDick Green had HIGH snaps the entire game.   ENTIRE.  In OT, he sailed a snap some 6 feet over the QB’s head, causing a 20-some yard loss and forcing a punt deep in the PIT territory.  Reminded me of Mo Pouncey, in a grisly manner.     KenDick,  D.    Moore, C-.   Rest of line, C+



Heyward – Held on for dear life and held the RB from scoring a TD, late 2Q.  At the half, Big Scam had TWO solos and zero assists.      Scam got a COVERAGE sack, late in the game, when Goff had eons of time, but no one was open.   Got a DONG Sack in OT, after Highsmith had FLUSHED the QB.  Finished the game with THREE solos in FIVE quarters of football.   Yup, THREE.  


Sure enough, you’ll hear all kind of bloated fables about how big and tough and vaunted Scam Heyward is.  And today, ya saw what a sheer scam it all is, as Big Scam had his ass whipped at the point of attack, time and time and time again.  C-


Tuitt – another vaunted DE who again sat out.   What a colossal waste of salcap dollars.


Wormley – chipped in here and there, but was also part of the gashing.    C


Buggs. Mondeaux, Loudermilk – chipped in here and there.  The ground gashing certainly can be blamed on this crew not holding up at the POA.   C



Bush – literally played PATTY CAKES with a blocker while the DET runner ran right up the gut for a cake-easy 28-yard TD run.  Feebly flailed and whiffed on the 4th & 1 plunge just before the 2MW, 2Q.  On the 42 yard TD run, early 3Q, that was Devin Bush, feebly waiving and pawing at the RB some 25 yards down the field and doing NOTHING to stop or slow down the RB.  


A sheer miracle.....Devin "Big Pussy" Bush made a solo stop on a dumpoff to the RB, on 3rd down and like 24 to go on the final play of the 4Q.      In OT, was flagged for HOLDING the TE on his route, which negated the INT by Fitz.  This guy is playing a passive, feeble, faggot-pump brand of football right now, all too similar to Jason GilDong.   He’s a sorry pilo manure.    D- 


Schobert – made a few stops, but was also responsible for the gashing.   C-


Watt – Good solo stop of draw play, 1Q.   Sitter Watt chipped in on a sack, late 3Q, but remained on the ground with injury.   Hurt his hip and didn’t return.  (Good thing Mike Asslin ran off Mel Ingram….!)   Had 3 solos and 2 A’s.     B-


Highsmith – stellar solo stop on an early 3d & 12 draw play, in which the entire LEFT side of the Stiller defense got caught napping, and the RB popped through to wide open daylight.   On the next series, he stopped a line plunge on 3d & 4, forcing a punt.  Failed to seal the edge on a 3d & 3 run, late 2Q, which gained 21.  Made a stellar play to read and then thwart a TE screen pass a few plays later.  On 3d & 9, early 3Q, he got SUCKED INSIDE on a simple running play, which went around end for an easy 12 yards.  Blew up aground play, for a 5 yard loss, 4Q.   Strung out a wide run and ran the RB OOB for a 4-yard loss, late 4Q.  This was High’s best game of the season, with 8 solos and 3 A’s.   B+  


Spillane – didn’t play much, if at all.  




Haden – got burned deep on the first play after the 1Q INT, but the pass was underthrown and Haden batted the ball away.  Injured in the 2Q and did not return.  Inc


Cam Button -   got vaulted over on the 3d & 3 wide run, late 2Q.  a  few plays later, he failed to corral an INT.  Got injured at some point and left for a short time.  


Norwood – good tackle/stop of a WR on 3d & 10, 10:30 4Q, forcing a punt.   Busted up a deep out, late in the 4Q. 

Flagged for a fuking ridiculous roughing the asser call, in OT. Atrocious fuking call.  Nearly made an incredible INT late in OT.     B+


Edmunds - Stop the presses.....a rare, good defensive play and tackle by Edmunds !   He fought off a block and then made a rare, crisp tackle on a bubble screen, forcing a 3 yard loss.   Rare as finding a $100 bill on the sidewalk.   Defended a valve dump to the TE, mid 3Q.   Flashed in and sacked the QB in OT.  Not that it flawless, but this was one of the better games for this shoddy SS.    B


Minkah – whiffed on a 3d & 6 WR screen, 3Q, which gained 19.   Had the rare INT, in OT, which was wiped by the holding flag on Bush.       B


Pierre – nabbed the WR on a 3rd down WR screen, 3Q.  Made an outstanding play in run support, nailing the RB on a wide run, 4Q.   Had good coverage on the 3d & 10 pass, 0:35 4Q.    B



Spec teams:  

Harvin– punted 6 times for a 47 yard average.  Booted a 61-yard punt, 2Q.  Late in the game, with a chance to pin DET deep with a pooch punt, Harvin boomed a punt that landed at the 5 in the soggy turf, and quickly rocketed into the EZ for a TB. 


Boswell – 3 for 3 on FGs.   Nailed a 51-yard FG to tie the game, early 4Q.    A+


RayRay – entirely shitty KO return, all the way to the 17, on the opening boot.   Juggled the punt, deep in his own territory, with only 20 seconds left in the tie game.   B-


Good solo tackle in KO coverage by D. Watt, 1Q. 


As usual, the coverage teams were vomit, allowing a 48-yard punt return in the 2Q after a 61 yard punt.  After the FG late in the 2Q, a Boswell KO to the GL was returned 31 yards 


Killebrew barely NIPPED the BACK part of the punter on a punt, which was flagged as a “running into the punter”.   Completely bullshit call.


Gilbert picked up a silly, needless holding flag on the DET punt late in OT.     Danny Smith grade: D-


OC:  Matt Canada arrived in the coaching box before the game to a DRIVING rainstorm, in chilly, windy weather.   So what does he order the entire game?   PASS after PASS after PASS after PASS.    FIFTY passes, in all.  The Lions have a rotten run defense, and Harris was getting good yardage.  But no, it was never enough to satisfy Canda, who insisted on ordering a rusty BACKUP QB to sling the ball fifty fuking times in a game they never trailed by more than 6. 


To make matters worse, was the rabid over-targeting of GayRay McLoud.  In the 1H, he was targeted, as I recall, 7 times.   For the game, 12 times.    12 targets for a pilot shoit receiver who has no business lining up for ANY snaps at the NFL level.  Sure, I realize Carpool was out, and they had to use this pudd puller….but that use could have been as a DECOY, not as a receiver getting targeted on every third pass.     


3d & goal at the 8, and Dionte – yer BEST WR dressed today – is PULLED from the game and was standing on the sideline. 


1 & G at the DET 6, 3Q, and Canda calls a slant to Wash amid a FOREST of defenders.  Brilliant !!  The 2nd down bootleg was sniffed out, forcing a throwaway.  The 3rd down play was open, but with a sopping wet football, the pass was one-hopped to the WR.   All the while, Harris never touched the pigskin, and the team settled for a chickenshoit FG.   


All in all, scoring 16 points in 5 quarters of play – entirely unacceptable.   D- 



Keith Assler had the luxury of facing a hobbled QB whom Goff’s team clearly had ZERO confidence in his throwing ability.  This made the Lions ONE dimensional, but Buttler, the stupidfuk that he is, was unable to contain that ONE dimension.   DET’s leading rusher, Jamal Wilims, was inactive.   Another Lions RB, Jefferson, got injured at the end of his TD run in the 2Q, forcing DET to thin its bench. 


DET tied the game late in the 2Q, with a long 12 play, 67-yard drive that chewed all the remaining clock and allowed DET to march at will.


DET went ahead on the 1st drive of the 3Q ……an 85 yard march, ALL ON THE GROUND,. Culminated by a 42-yard run….the very definition of GETTING GASHED.


At the end of regulation, DET had only 54 or so yards passing, but well over 200 yards rushing.


Assler promptly allowed a 30-yard gainer off a short crosser, first play of OT.   On 3d & 14 in OT, Assler should have been expecting the WR screen, pretty much THE ONLY pass play DET ran in the entire game,  


By the end of OT, DET had only 114 yards passing, but 229 rushing on 29 rushes, a gaudy 5.9 yards per crack.  


In all, a shoddy-assed disgrace of defensive football, led by Keith “I’m a retard” Assler.,    D- 


HC:  Mike Asslin had the outrageous luxury of hosting, at home, a winless, inept DOME team, having to go on the road and play in rainy, muddy conditions on the Heinz Mud Bog. Despite all this, his team showed up, got the quick, early score, and then CHECKED OUT, thinking the rest of the game would be an easy fuking cakewalk.    And sure as shoit, the offense faltered, and the defense got absolutely gashed in the 2nd and 3rd quarters, with some of the most sorry-assed rush defense ever seen since the Fred Taylor 234 yard effort on Sunday Nite Football back at the old 3 Rivers Stadium in circa 2000.    The effort was soft n’ sorry, and the in-game adjustments and pre-game preparations sucked buttock as well.  Were it not for a missed PAT, Mike Asslin LOSES this ballgame, and frankly, he and his club didn’t earn the tie. In all, a complete shit show that is the responsibility of ONE, and only one, man – Mike Asslin.    F  


Synopsis:  They call it a “tie” in the standings, but make no mistake, this was a grisly loss to a weak, inept foe.   The hideous warts, just like last season, are now popping up all over the place, with no end in sight.   The offense is a popgun, 4-yard per pass affair, often afraid of running the ball despite having a STUD RB.  The defense, supposedly so dominant and vaunted, has continually – on a WEEKLY basis – been savagely gashed by one bumbling offense after another. 


At this point, can you see any way this soft team has any chance of more than 3 wins with this remaining schedule of 8 games??    FIVE road games, and challenging home games versus Balt, Tenn, and Cleve.  If you have to struggle like complete little bitches to beat Seattle, Chico, and DET, how on earth will this sorry-assed club succeed against the gauntlet of these remaining 8 games ?   The problems are awful, and they are many.   And Michael Stoogelin clearly ain’t bright enough to fix ‘em. 



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