Bullshittin' Bill Strikes Again
by PalmerSucks
by PalmerSucks
You remember Bill Cowher -- the guy who announced he was resigning as head coach of the Stillers to spend (ahem) more time with his family. Then promptly went out on the road and hit the reality-TV circuit. Right?
Well, look who's back, weighing in on his old team's chances in the North this season:
Steelers Notebook: Ravens, Bengals top division
according to Cowher
Thursday, September 06, 2007
By Ed Bouchette, Pittsburgh Post-Gazette
Now that he's no longer coach of the Steelers, Bill
Cowher apparently feels free to play the what-if game.
He predicts the Steelers will finish third in the AFC
North behind Baltimore and Cincinnati.
"Those two teams, I think they're still the top two,"
Cowher said Tuesday on the NFL Network. "And still I
think Pittsburgh, they've got a chance with their
schedule to get off to a good start, they've got a
chance to be a team to be contended with."
Surprise -- Coach isn't picking the home boys. Journalistic objectivity -- or something else at work here?
As I mentioned in "I Come Not to Praise Cowher, But to Bury Him" there were other factors at work in Bill's decision to leave the Stillers than the one he gave. Only he wouldn't admit it. Likewise, there's a little more than meets the eye in Billy's pre-season prognostications.
What better way to take a shot at your old team AND declare your own greatness than by picking them to finish almost last? "I am the great Bill Cowher, and the team is nothing without me! See what you idiots get for letting me walk?"
Nice to see you've buried the axe, Bill. Now for our next question: just why do you feel the team will place third? Have anything to do with the shambles of an O-line you left? Or the Chinese encyclopedia you called a playbook? Or maybe those poor excuses for special teams you stuck the team with when you took off for family time?
Well, look who's back, weighing in on his old team's chances in the North this season:
Steelers Notebook: Ravens, Bengals top division
according to Cowher
Thursday, September 06, 2007
By Ed Bouchette, Pittsburgh Post-Gazette
Now that he's no longer coach of the Steelers, Bill
Cowher apparently feels free to play the what-if game.
He predicts the Steelers will finish third in the AFC
North behind Baltimore and Cincinnati.
"Those two teams, I think they're still the top two,"
Cowher said Tuesday on the NFL Network. "And still I
think Pittsburgh, they've got a chance with their
schedule to get off to a good start, they've got a
chance to be a team to be contended with."
Surprise -- Coach isn't picking the home boys. Journalistic objectivity -- or something else at work here?
As I mentioned in "I Come Not to Praise Cowher, But to Bury Him" there were other factors at work in Bill's decision to leave the Stillers than the one he gave. Only he wouldn't admit it. Likewise, there's a little more than meets the eye in Billy's pre-season prognostications.
What better way to take a shot at your old team AND declare your own greatness than by picking them to finish almost last? "I am the great Bill Cowher, and the team is nothing without me! See what you idiots get for letting me walk?"
Nice to see you've buried the axe, Bill. Now for our next question: just why do you feel the team will place third? Have anything to do with the shambles of an O-line you left? Or the Chinese encyclopedia you called a playbook? Or maybe those poor excuses for special teams you stuck the team with when you took off for family time?
Or maybe the way you mailed it in last year ? could that have affected how the team performed, and how it's perceived now? And why -- oh irony of ironies -- even YOU are picking them to finish so low.
Oh, and -- the Bengals? OK, I can understand the Ravens, who kicked your butt twice, but the Bengals? The team with no defense, and a quarterback who requires that team trainers learn the Heimlich Maneuver? The team the Stillers have pretty much owned except for a couple flukey losses -- those Bengals?
As if that's not galling enough -- note the sneaky way Coach covers his ass in advance, not to mention takes a back-handed swipe at the new guy:
"And still I think Pittsburgh, they've got a chance with their schedule to get off to a good start.."
Yep, just in case the Stillers defy all logic and win -- it was only because of that cakewalk of a schedule, see.
Of all people to talk -- Bill Cowher made a career out of the patsy schedules he was handed. How many coaches get to feast on 3 expansion franchises, as Coach did? I'm not sure, but I'd be willing to take the under on that one.
Ever recall Coach sitting in a press conference saying "yep, getting to play the Browns and Bengals plus that new Jacksonville team twice ? yee-ha, we're in fat city!"? Let me know, 'cause I sure don't. No, when Bill coached, the '01 Browns were the '85 Bears. There was no such THING as a weak schedule.
In fact, the old Central and new North divisions were stocked with softies, and formed the (and I use this term loosely) backbone of some cushy Steeler schedules. But again, did you ever hear Cowher talk about it? No, according to Bill only other coaches get to enjoy such luxuries -- particularly those coaches who've taken over his old team.
(Side Note: If I'm Mike Tomlin, I'm posting copies of this little prediction all over the locker room. Hell, I'm posting it in Primanti's bathroom, for that matter. I'm making sure everyone from the QB down to the water boy reads it before bed every night. The Stillers just received the bulletin-board gift of the year.)
Oh, and -- the Bengals? OK, I can understand the Ravens, who kicked your butt twice, but the Bengals? The team with no defense, and a quarterback who requires that team trainers learn the Heimlich Maneuver? The team the Stillers have pretty much owned except for a couple flukey losses -- those Bengals?
As if that's not galling enough -- note the sneaky way Coach covers his ass in advance, not to mention takes a back-handed swipe at the new guy:
"And still I think Pittsburgh, they've got a chance with their schedule to get off to a good start.."
Yep, just in case the Stillers defy all logic and win -- it was only because of that cakewalk of a schedule, see.
Of all people to talk -- Bill Cowher made a career out of the patsy schedules he was handed. How many coaches get to feast on 3 expansion franchises, as Coach did? I'm not sure, but I'd be willing to take the under on that one.
Ever recall Coach sitting in a press conference saying "yep, getting to play the Browns and Bengals plus that new Jacksonville team twice ? yee-ha, we're in fat city!"? Let me know, 'cause I sure don't. No, when Bill coached, the '01 Browns were the '85 Bears. There was no such THING as a weak schedule.
In fact, the old Central and new North divisions were stocked with softies, and formed the (and I use this term loosely) backbone of some cushy Steeler schedules. But again, did you ever hear Cowher talk about it? No, according to Bill only other coaches get to enjoy such luxuries -- particularly those coaches who've taken over his old team.
(Side Note: If I'm Mike Tomlin, I'm posting copies of this little prediction all over the locker room. Hell, I'm posting it in Primanti's bathroom, for that matter. I'm making sure everyone from the QB down to the water boy reads it before bed every night. The Stillers just received the bulletin-board gift of the year.)
Cowher knows better than to pick the flawed Cincy team. So why do it?
Because with Bill Cowher, the truth always leaks out, no matter how he tries to cover it. Picking both the Ravens and Bengals to finish ahead of the Stillers isn't so much a prediction, but a desperate WISH. You see, no matter what he says, nobody wants to see the Stillers flop more than Bill Cowher.
Cowher's massive sense of self, the same one that had him huffing his way out of town earlier this year, can't allow otherwise. Big-Ego Bill simply can't handle the Stillers doing well this year. It would only confirm those nasty rumors that the team won a Bowl in spite of him -- not to mention show that last year's debacle was largely due to his absentee coaching.
No doubt you'll hear some apologists claim that, in reality, Bill was doing it to motivate the guys -- see, Coach really picked against the Steelers because he wants to help out his old team. Ha ha, what a laugh!
Trust me, nobody will be rooting harder against the Stillers this year than new studio analyst Bill Cowher. It should be fun to hear his gritted-teeth congratulations when they win, and thinly disguised gloating when they lose.
So to recap: the Stillers are going to suck this year without me, but just in case they don't -- keep in mind it was all because of that ridiculously lame schedule, nothing more. Remember, Coach told ya so!