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The Gildong Report -- Updated Oct. 19th

October 19, 1999 by Still Mill


The Gildong Report

In light of many a fan being bamboozled and ga-ga over Jason Gildong�s 11 sacks last season --- despite only 2 being anywhere near "earned sacks" --- I'm devoting some time this season to monitor the work of the exceptionally average Jason Gildon. It�ll be fun to track each of Gildong�s sacks this season. Gildong has been famous enough with his coverage sacks, flop sacks, QB-slipped-on-the-wet-turf sacks, the OT totally forgot his blocking assignment sacks, and so on, that the NFL has designated a new statistic, called the "Dong Sack", in honor of Jason Gildong. (Some fantasy football leagues are incorporating this into their point systems.)

Gildon got a sack of Smith at 3:00 in the 2d quarter, on a 1st & 10 play. At the snap, the Bengal RT immediately moved LEFT and helped the RG block Roye. This left a gaping path the size of the Fort Pitt tunnel for Gildon to run STRAIGHT at the QB. Corey Dillon was in the backfield on this play, but inexplicably just tip-toed with head DOWN toward the line of scrimmage --- near the butt of the right guard --- and was no more helpful to his QB than an orange PennDOT barrell. I reviewed this play several times on videotape.

It was readily apparent to anyone who knows football, that Dillon either:

a. totally forgot what the play was.

b. knew the play, but totally forgot his assignment of picking up the blitz

c. knew the play AND the assignment, but nonchalantly blew it off as though he didn't "feel like blocking" on this particular play.

Whether it was A, B, or C --- or all of the above --- this was a pathetically lazy, no-brained, reprehensible play by Dillon, who is a 3-year veteran who will get his young QB killed if he keeps making plays like this. Dillon NEVER made an attempt to even LOOK FOR a blitzer, much less make a move toward Gildon or anyone else in a white jersey. During the slow-mo replay of this particular play, the CBS color man stated, and I quote:

"Bruce Coslett told us he's not as worried about his offensive line�watch Jason Gildon right here (circling Gildon with Telestrator)�.he (Coslett) is not as worried about his offensive line picking up the blitz. You see Gildon coming through right now�.That was Corey Dillon's man�He got up too far in the line of scrimmage and he doesn't�he's not able to get back and get Gildon. You can see�.'Oops, I missed my guy'�.You just can't afford to have that happen."

Of course, the national TV guys are not always whizzes in their coverage of the game, so perhaps this man was off a bit. If you don't think that the CBS color man had a clue, then how about none other than Steeler radio man Myron Cope? After this play, Cope lambasted Dillon for his sh!t-laden half-hearted effort.

Had Dillon been a lesser-value player on a team coached by a Parcells or a Johnson, after the game he'd have been cut faster than the cake at a shotgun wedding. Dillon, of course, has such a great mental approach of the game, that after the game, in which the Bengals lost their 15th of their past 17 games, Dillon said, ""Hey, you can't win them all." Way to go, Corey! Great attitude! And, after the sack occurred, you can plainly see Dillon motioning toward one of the offensive lineman, in a gesture that without question indicated confusion on Dillon' part and a "Was I supposed to pick that man up?" mentality.

This was, without question, a Dong Sack. When NO ONE touches an on-rushing OLB, and NO ONE even makes an ATTEMPT to do so, and the OLB gets a clear, direct, untouched route to the QB, this is a DONG SACK. In fact, this play is the very EPITOME of a Dong Sack.

Other than this Dong Sack, Gildong did NOTHING all day. N-O-T-H-I-N-G. He never once harassed or hurried Smith, and he was a pedestrian non-factor.

Season to date totals for Jason:

Earned Sacks: 1
Dong Sacks: 3
Strips, Jars, fumbles caused, etc.: 0

The Still Mill 

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